A New Page

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New Year, new page. The arrival of a new year is an exciting time. It signifies a new beginning, a clean slate, a new page, a new opportunity to do the things we could not accomplish the past year; it is a chance to do better. We reflect on the past year and make new goals, new plans. Dream new dreams. Look into the future. A new year is full of new expectations and good wishes. Overall, we welcome a new year with a sense of hope and joy. There is something special about receiving the new year – a sense of renewal. I thought about it the other day, as I looked back at all this year brought into my life, and also, at what it took away. I realized that every single day offers this same opportunity of renewal. When we first open our eyes each day, it is a new slate, the chance of a new beginning, to do better than yesterday. Until next year.

Happy New Day! Happy New Year!

Inkspeare

Photo by M.A.D.

Your Way is My Way

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Every soul has its journey, every person a purpose for living, but sometimes, it is not as clear as we would like it to be. The following words are according to my journey.

For many years, I worried about not knowing my true purpose in life. I read and studied countless books on finding your purpose or “true purpose,” and became a “positive thinking book junkie.” Although it helped me very much and I enjoyed reading those, it left me feeling the same – yearning to know and find my purpose in life. I worked/trained for every interest I had as far as jobs/careers, and although I enjoyed those very much, I felt that was not it. I was far from my purpose. Agonizing about it did not help. I admired the people who seemed to have found their meaning of life, their way in life. When I heard people say, “If you love what you do it never feels like a job,” I became more confused about purpose. Well, I had fulfilled many interests that I loved, however, I still ended up feeling without purpose and hungry for meaning. A very smart woman who had been a teacher all her life and was now retired told me once, “I hope you find what you are looking for.” She said this after I told her that I could not see myself doing only one thing for the rest of my life. What a sharp woman; she saw what I did not at that time. Part of my misunderstanding was to believe that a career path/earning income and purpose were one and the same. These are two different things, and although one can find purpose through a career, a career does not have to be one’s purpose. Once I understood that, I viewed purpose in a different light.

Writing has always been in my heart, although put aside for a long time, as a career path that is. I found the path again after a series of unfortunate events, and because I felt I had nothing to lose, I gave it a try. I feel at home when I write. Is it my purpose? I don’t know, nor am I waiting for it to become. It gives me purpose. Only God knows what my purpose is; He created me. Once I realized this, I stopped worrying about finding my purpose. It did not make sense anymore. I don’t have to feel incomplete, hurried, or worried about time running out and not finding my way in life. Instead I say, “God, your way is my way.” By knowing this I am open to do, be, and exist just as He wants of me. His way is my way, and that is purpose enough for me. The search was over once I understood that.

I see and hear many people who are worried and stressed out about finding their true purpose in life. They fear that they will grow old not knowing. I understand how they feel; I’ve been there. It is the reason why I decided to write this post. When I understood it wasn’t my burden to know, I was able to see beyond the limits of material and earthly fulfillment. A Jon Bon Jovi song comes to mind – “you are where you are supposed to be” – or something along those lines. My journey is/has purpose, but my purpose is in part my journey on this earth, and it is much more. It is how I have come to understand its meaning. It doesn’t mean that I will sit around waiting for enlightenment and clarity of mind; for me, the process is the journey, and the journey, the pathway to a different kind of purpose. My aimless search for purpose took me to the understanding that my Creator’s way is my pathway to complete fulfillment. When I become restless or unclear for whatever reason it may be, the most sincere prayer I can say is – Your way is my way.

Image by M.A.D.

King of Souls

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King of Souls – A Christmas Poem

A blanket of snow

covering the earth

like angel wings

gently befalls.

A shining star

dancing through the night

announces to the world

a miracle below.

A mother beholds

great news from above

The angels rejoice

A Savior is born.

A King in a manger

of God, divine son

Born to mankind

a Savior of souls.

May this Season of Joy bring the best into your heart and may blessings pour over your home. Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday Season to you all. Inkspeare

Every Little Blessing

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For us who celebrate Thanksgiving day, when we think of this day, most likely, a turkey will pop up in our minds. The holiday and the turkey that is traditionally served as a meal have become one and the same. Turkey or not, Thanksgiving symbolizes a time to pause and reflect on all the blessings we have received during the year, and give thanks. We live at such a hurried pace that we forget to thank the Lord for everything that we have been blessed with, and when we really think about it, we have plenty to be grateful for. Even the tiniest of blessings in our lives counts. Just to be able to write this post is a blessing for me. Just think of all that it encompasses – I am able to write because I had the blessing of an education in a public system, and later on a college education, which made possible becoming able to read/write and later on, developing my interests (things that we take for granted but for many others are not possible). I am able to write this post because I have been blessed with health – mentally and physically. An internet connection, and a PC makes this possible too, but for it to happen these had to be invented at one point. All of it, small blessings that are many times, taken for granted. When I think of all the other little blessings that make this possible, it brings to mind a truckload of other blessings, and so on.

There is so much to be thankful for, from the moment we open our eyes to receive another day until the moment we go to sleep and rest. One blessing is preceded by an infinite amount of other blessings that made it possible, and if we go back in time/history, an entire humanity has been blessed and connected by tiny blessings. Right now, I am writing this post from the USA, and later on, you might be reading it on another part of the world via your PC, phone, or other device, but it is all interconnected and it all comes from the same source of blessings. Isn’t it a wonderful thing?

Any day is a good day to give thanks for the infinite blessings we enjoy, and to realize that every little blessing counts. Happy Thanks Giving!

There are No Coincidences

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I believe that what we call coincidences are tiny miracles that intertwine in this life. Every writer, at one point, questions his/her path and the issue of why keep on writing, or what difference does it make? I’ve have asked that question; I asked that question to God. A few weeks ago I got my answer in the most unusual way.

A few weeks ago, something happened that changed my perspective as far as my writing goes. During that time, I had received a shipment of copies of my latest book – The Five-dollar Miracle, and the next day, I gifted the first copy. It was an impromptu offering. I was talking to that person and the books where next to me. A few days later, I had a casual conversation with that person and she mentioned the many similarities she encountered reading the story. She told me the book spoke to her, and many things she had taken to heart. She was going through many of the challenges the story presented, and so was her church. The pastor had died three months ago, and the congregation faced new challenges as well. What caught her eye and made her read further on was the first paragraph. She asked me how I came up with that date. I found the question unusual, and I told her it was a random date with no significance to me – the day I sat to write the story. For her, it was the day her husband died. I did not know her during that time. She mentioned that she was starting the five-dollar miracle.

Later on, I pondered all the events that had lead to that conversation and weaved my tiny miracle. By then, I had put my question to God out of mind. Only when I pondered these things I realized that my question had been answered. I don’t know if she will find something more in this story, but as far as I know the writing of it mattered, at least for her. As soon as I understood this, I thanked God for his love. I had a new perspective on writing.

As writers, we never know for whom we are writing the stories we create, but sometimes, we are blessed to have a glimpse. As far as I am concerned, The Five-dollar Miracle fulfilled its purpose, and I was able to find a new perspective in writing. If you have asked yourself the same question I asked, I hope this post helps you in some way.

THE FIVE-DOLLAR MIRACLE

“My name is Jonathan. My official name is Zadquiel. I prefer Jonathan. The story that I am about to tell you happened in Jasper Falls, a small town in the north of Virginia, USA. It was a small miracle, a five-dollar miracle that changed a stranger, a pastor, an entire congregation, and a whole country. I will take you to that day – July 29, 2016.” (excerpt from The Five-dollar Miracle)

Standing at the Edge

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I am about to plunge into writing my next novel – The Girl Who Could Not Love. I’ve always compared the feeling of starting a new story to the feeling of standing at the edge of a cliff and peering out to see what is below and beyond. One approaches the edge carefully, respectful of the abyss below, and at the same time with apprehensive wonderment, excitement, and a certain kind of childish joy. The deeper and farther I look out, the more I see, and images start emerging and becoming clear. Suddenly, that edge is not as defined and scary as it was at the beginning. A couple of chapters inside the story the edge has disappeared and I am floating, observing and being a part of the story. It is always like a little adventure.

The writing of this novel is an exciting undertaking because I have nothing to start with, no plot, no outline, no initial lines or ideas, only a title and the main character’s name. I am halfway the first chapter and I have to say that I was not expecting it to develop the way it is, so I am in for the ride. Hopefully, it will be completed by next year, but I am only the writer.

Faith vs. Letting Go

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Faith – A confident belief, trust. Loyalty; allegiance. (American Heritage Dictionary)

We put our faith in many things. God/ the Divine is the obvious, but to a certain degree, also in other people, organizations/institutions, the government, processes … and so on. Faith that is based in earthly things can be disappointing. Faith in God/Divinity is uplifting and sustaining of one’s soul. Many times, life will not go according to plan or as we hoped, and that is when faith determines much of the outcome. When presented with vicissitudes or when our belief system is crumbling for any reason, we have the choice of acting in faith, awaiting in faith, or letting go. I find that this is always the case. We either keep believing that there is someone on the other side of our faith watching and listening, or we let go of whatever we hope the outcome to the situation we are faced with might be. Whether it might be letting go of a dream, a person, an idea, a quest, or even our better selves.

In my last book, The Five-dollar Miracle, this is one of the themes weaved throughout the story. I believe that when in doubt, stick with your faith.

Photo by M.A.D.

Sandstorm

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I have never been in a sandstorm, and I would never want to be caught on one; except in this one. From time to time, I write a review on a book that I enjoyed in a special way or that I find mesmerizing, unique, or out of the ordinary. I don’t write many reviews, although I enjoy many books. I compare the reading of The Star of Bethlehem by Patrick Moore to a sandstorm.

A sandstorm is made of many grains of sand and travels fast, windsweeping everything on its path. On its own, a grain of sand is not much (although I find it fascinating) but many particles of sand together at once, being carried by a wind force is significant. Well, this book is like that. It is written by an astronomer, Sir Patrick Moore. The topic is the phenomenon of the star of Bethlehem viewed and presented from the point of view of the author, a well experienced astronomer. When I got this book the topic fascinated me but because it was immersed in theories and scientific information/data I assumed I would become restless at one point while reading it, not bored just restless. I could not have been more wrong. I do not know how he manages to do this (as a writer) but he took so many grains of information related to the possible astronomical phenomena that would explain the star of Bethlehem and weaved it into an interesting, well-written, reader friendly, comfortably paced book that swept me like a sandstorm. It kept me reading. At the end, he presents his theory/opinion. The information presented dates back to records/accounts from around 7 BC-1 BC mostly, or around the possible date/period of Christ’s birth. I was pleasantly surprised that I could not put this book down. This because although I love these topics, numbers and scientific data presented hardcore might not capture my interest sometimes. I think that I was delighted by this book and very impressed by how it was written. What a great read. In it, Sir Patrick Moore presents possible candidates for the phenomenon of the star of Bethlehem – a star, planet, comet, nova, supernova … and goes back to the “records” of the time.

Although I have always viewed the topic of the star of Bethlehem from a faith point of view, and still do, I found this book very informative, interesting, and fun to read. It kept me reading, and I was pleased. A sandstorm of a book.

Everyday Miracles

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We usually think of a miracle as something unusual, out of the ordinary, of divine origin or intervention, and outside of our human ability. Miracles come in all sizes, but all miracles have a big impact. In my last story – The Five-dollar Miracle – what starts as a small one-time miracle ends up having a large scale impact. We view miracles as something divine, however, miracles happen in our earthly realm. The human element has to be present, and usually on the recipient side, although the giving side – the instrument – experiences the miracle as well. If we chose to see miracles in our everyday living, life would taste sweeter.

Sometimes, synchronicity is a series of tiny miracles. Coincidences in our favor are small miracles too. Just think of all those instances in your life when you have said, “Wow, I got lucky,” or “A little bit more and it would have …” (fill the blank). I believe that each one of us have experienced a miracle (big or small) at one point in our lives. I have experienced many in my life. One of them, I will share with you on this post.

Many (many) years ago, I had come out of work, and I had to cross a bridge as part of my 45 minutes or so commute. On my drive home, I felt this nagging voice in my head urging me to go to my favorite clothing store, which was on the way. I was tired and wanted to get home right away but the nagging voice kept insisting so much that I ended up going to the store. It was more like a nagging thought that originated outside of me, not audible. I parked my car and said to myself, “what am I doing here? I don’t want to be here; I’m tired.” But once more, the nagging thought pressed on suggesting I go inside and look around. I went inside the store and quickly looked around, and because I was not in the mood to browse, I decided to head out. When I reached the glass door, I could see my car, and next to it, I saw this enormous muscular man who was just standing by the driver side. It was twilight already and I felt intimidated by his presence, so I pretended to browse some more, not thinking much more of the large man outside. I ended up spending almost an hour at the store, and of course, did not buy anything. Tired, I decided to go to my car. I looked around and the enormous man was nowhere to be seen. I went inside my car and went home. The next day, as soon as she arrived, my boss asked me if I was alright. I answered, “Yes, why do you ask?” She said that there had been a very bad accident at the bridge around the same time I went home, so she thought I was caught in the mess. I searched the news and the accident had happen around 5:45 pm, at the same time I would have been crossing the bridge on a regular day. Then, I understood my miracle, and related it to her – the insisting/nagging thought that took me to the store, and the enormous man standing next to my car when I was about to leave.

I believe that my Guardian Angel was nudging my thoughts. I believe I saw my Guardian Angel that day.

Stories That Will Not Make It Into Books

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I have always been a dreamer. I have very detailed, sometimes long, vivid dreams. Sometimes, these dreams are stories from start to end. Many times, I write these down. The format is a short version in a 3×5 card that will trigger the memory of the whole dream. One of these stories left an impression on me, and I intend to make it a novel. My dreams are all over the place, from past experiences to present, featuring people I know to complete strangers, and even fall into the category of fantasy or sci-fi dreams. Many of these, I write and ponder on them later on, while trying to find a significant meaning or common thread to the bizarre dreams. These usually play like a movie, whether I am inside the dream or an observer.

I have heard of writers turning dreams into books. As writers, we draw inspiration from everything around. Most of my dream stories will not make it into novels. I will give you a couple of examples, although in a very brief format. One of these is about a couple who must fight for their unusual love. They meet when she is about to become his parent’s meal. His family is one of many modern cannibal tribes who live in secrecy, and come from a long line of families whose traditions date back centuries. To get their meals they put together fancy high society dinners at hotels, and many of their young and tender guests are seduced by these free and fancy invites. There is always a topic, charitable cause, and of course, the chosen people are taken to a special room, where they will disappear and become the meal, eventually. The protagonists meet in such a scenario, and he experiences love at first sight. He takes her by the hand and runs while exiting via an elevator. After that, they must face persecution by his family and the other tribes.

Now, as weird as that sounds, I assure you that I have all my faculties, and by now, you understand why this bizarre story will not make it into one of my books. Another example of these dream-stories features a colony of vampires. It takes place in the 13th century and starts when the vamps raid a small village and take a few people, including the protagonist (Amielle), to their underground castle, hidden away from plain sight. Of course, they will become a food supply. I am seeing a common thread here (food). Should I eat more? The male protagonist, a nobleman in love with the village girl who has been taken, is on a quest to rescue her. King vamp (Baldemiere) is smitten with her and decides to spare her, but she must surrender her will to him in order to become his queen, which the current lady queen does not take well, and eventually, she leads the male protagonist (Antoine) and his soldiers to the hidden castle via underground tunnels that cross various villages, hence how each village is attacked at random. Now the sad ending – Our lady protagonist unknowingly has fallen in love with king vamp and has to make the choice of sacrificing her beloved nobleman and his soldiers thus becoming a vampire queen.

These are two examples of bizarre and graphic dreams of mine that will not make it into books. In the first story, I do not know their names, in the second story I do. Although I find them a bit interesting as dreams, and would not be difficult to write because they are full detailed stories, these do not call me as a writer, and do not fit my writing style at present. I say at present because I don’t now what the future holds or if I will ever be interested in writing in this category. I remembered a comment from an author who I cannot recall right now, and he said that you cannot make every dream idea you have into a book. This was many years ago, and I did not fully understand the whole meaning at that time; however, I understand it now. As you grow as a writer, not only does your style evolves and you become aware of it, but also, your ability or desire to follow a “path” (for lack of a better word), thus becoming more selective in a conscious way.