When Someone Does Not Accept the Love that You Offer

Photo by M.A.D.

Valentine’s Day, the day we celebrate Love, is around the corner. As popular, as commercialized. Love, the center of it, takes second place to the over promoted material value that surrounds this day. From roses and fancy chocolates to diamonds and cars, these things are supposed to be representations of love, but sometimes, our loved ones take second place instead.

As writers, we imagine all kinds of romantic scenarios and portrait many kinds of love and motives for that love. We explore situations and “give life” to love through our characters. Love is expressed through by caring, sharing … for a person. Love is the biggest, most precious gift that you can offer someone. What happens when you want to love someone, but that person is unable to receive your love? What if you want to offer your love, care, and help, but that person is unable to accept it? What if your help and caring efforts are rejected, ignored, or simply disregarded? Each moment of rejection hurts not only the giver but the intended recipient who is not fit for accepting love, for whatever personal reason or circumstances.

Love can be a blessing, but it can also be a missed blessing when the object of care and affection refuses to accept it. At what point should you stop loving? I think NEVER. However, when someone rejects one’s love and does not want to be helped despite many efforts to reach out, there comes a time when it is best to realize that person has made a choice, and respecting it is also a way of loving that person and loving yourself, of letting go of the hurt of rejection and stepping back respectfully and in love. That person who is unable to see and accept love is unable to reciprocate or maybe even love themselves enough to feel worthy of being loved. Stepping back in love is an expression of love. Sometimes, it is the only thing you can do, to love that person who cannot see the love you are offering. When someone does not accept the love you offer, respect them, love them from afar, and pray for them. Place them in God’s hand.

A New Year’s Poem

Vintage pencils (Photo by M.A.D.)

I sat to write the first new year’s blog post and thought about possible topics. So much has been said already about goals, dreams, planning, and the “right” start of a brand-new year, that I did not want to be repetitive and write about the same things. Instead, I felt inspired to write a poem. Maybe it reflects how I feel about the start of a new year.

Oh Lord, thy peace I feel

in every breath I take.

Thy song is in my heart;

thy joy in me resides.

*

If ever I would find

myself away from you.

My heart would break apart.

My soul would cry for you.

*

From dusk till dawn my heart awaits

the joy of seeing you.

In every little thing I see,

thy love forevermore.

May this year be filled with the goodness of many blessings for you and yours.

Sweet November

Ahh, it is that time of the year when everything around me is changing, and there is so much color around me; I love it. Although we had little rain during this summer, nature managed to delight us once more here in Southside Virginia, and at least we have had some vibrant colors around. The heaviest of the Asian ladybugs and Boxelder tree bugs invasion is over. I can be at peace now and enjoy the rest of Autumn. I am still trying to become used to the yearly arrival of those critters; hasn’t happened yet. During those days, I long for the Jersey shore. But sweet November is here, and with it, the anticipation of the holiday season and all its blessings. There is so much to be thankful for, even in our most desperate days. God never abandon us, even when we think that He has, even when He feels so far, in our limited human perception. I am thankful that He is always around.

A Season of Letting Go

Photo by M.A.D.

As I sit and write this post, I can see leaves dancing in the air. There is a tree that lets go of its leaves very early in the season. In August, it sheds a few leaves and by the end of September, it is almost if not bare. It is the only tree around here that loses its leaves early. It is one of the trees we saved when we set out to clean up this place. It was growing in the middle of overgrown bushes and weeds. We removed everything around it and decided to keep it. Today, it has grown more than twice its size and it is a favorite of crows and other birds. Deer love to eat the berries that fall on the ground early summer. I don’t know what kind of tree it is, and it really doesn’t matter. It looks pretty and is useful to the wildlife; it does what it is supposed to do.

Are we as that tree? Do we do as we supposed to do naturally, or do we let outside forces influence us to the point that we lose our inner strength and end up doing something that does not feel natural to us? Are we able to shed our leaves, to let go of every regret, ill preconception, judgement, and negativity? Sometimes, it is possible, but when our inner strength is lacking, we need a savior. We need a savior to remove all the weeds and thornbushes that surround us; we need help.

When our leaves are too heavy to carry, and we are surrounded by weeds, our Savior is just a prayer away. He will clean up around us and help us shed that what is too heavy for us to carry around. Just as the tree is transformed in a season, and renewed the next, so are we when we call upon Him, our Savior Jesus.

Rather, the Patience of a Gardener

If you visit this blog from time to time, you know that I love plants and nature. I have been restoring a derelict farmhouse and its abandoned grounds, where there used to be a garden that was eaten up by weeds. Weeds? By other native plants, I should say. I thought about that the other day and realized that God didn’t make weeds; instead, he created all kinds of beautiful plants, and we decided to call them weeds, but He did not. I have learned to incorporate some of these “weeds” in my garden and let them be beautiful.

However, this DIY journey has taken years and patience. There is much to be done yet, and I have an impatient spirit sometimes, but I have learned to listen to what this old farmhouse wants, and to what the land is asking for. Most of the time, I have listened well. It is when I have become too restrictive and “boxy” that I have made some mistakes, in the garden that is. Although it might apply to my life as well.

Living a simple life, as well as creating a dream of this old farmhouse and its garden requires quite a bit of patience, and endurance I might add, or I should say quite a lot. Many people find it too much work, inconvenient, and would not put up with it. Exactly the reason why the unpolished gem sat on the market for some time until we picked up the loupe and found it. Have we polished it or has it polished us?

A gardener waits and waits, and … A gardener endures the seasons patiently. A gardener changes with the seasons. A gardener watches the death of a garden and awaits its rebirth. A gardener is not afraid of trying a new approach. A gardener plants in faith, and harvests in gratitude.

In hindsight, it has been like writing a story without an outline. It is mostly how I write as well, so in a way, it has become a natural endeavor; however, it requires the patience of a saint (as the adage says) but I rather have the patience of a gardener.

The Warmth of Wood

This is the perfect time of the year to tackle some final projects around the farmhouse. There’s a chill in the air but it is not too cold and most of the insects have gone to rest. We have been busy cleaning up the premises and cutting out some trees. My husband decided he wanted to tackle the Monster Tree and the remainders of The Old Tree. Those were two projects that had been waiting for a while. The cleaned good wood from those trees will be put at the entrance of our driveway so people who need it can use it this winter. Free wood is always on demand around here. It will do good for sure, especially now that the price of a cord of wood is going up. My husband cut it down to a good size so it can be cut into pieces much easier. I am glad these projects are almost done, just a few more big logs left to downsize. The warmth of wood is the best heat. I am not a fan of forced air heating, although this type of heating is very convenient. A pellet stove is the closest thing to a warm fire, and that is what we use; however, we are planning to install a small wood stove in the near future. At this time of the year, things seem to slow down around here. It is a good time for reflection and planning. One looks towards the next year with renewed strength, hope, and certainly faith. In the meantime, we will continue to catch up with some outdoor projects before the coldest weather arrives, and plan for other projects next year.

Getting rid of the Monster Tree is bittersweet. Many birds landed here, and I was able to see them through the kitchen window; however, the tree was dead, covered in honeysuckle, which I loved to look at, and I also enjoyed its scent through the kitchen window. It also had poison ivy growing through it. I knew it had to go, but it was here where I saw my first mixed flock of birds, a wonderful experience and sight.

The Old Tree was downsized at the beginning of this year by a professional crew. It was a threat to the house due to its proximity, and it was showing signs of decay. It is a very old tree, an old giant that refused to give up. I thought of it as a beautiful tree; however, it was bringing too many insects to the side entrance, and it was showing signs of disease and root damage. After we downsized it, the tree sprouted new branches right away, which by now were reaching new heights, so my husband decided to cut it down. I will miss it.

The cleaned-up wood from those trees is up for grabs. Their last contribution.

As this year’s projects wrap up, so does this year, and I want to take the opportunity to thank you for visiting this blog, as this will be my last blogpost for the season.

I wish you all a beautiful Holiday Season and a Merry Christmas full of love, joy, and many blessings. May the New Year be one of the best for you and yours. May God bless you.

Inkspeare

When Birds Depart

Photo by M.A.D.

I’ve been noticing that most of the birds around here are gone. We enjoy a variety of birds during spring and summer, and lately, I have been missing their songs and chirpings. For some reason, this departure seems earlier than usual to me, and I am wondering if this will translate into an early winter for us. Nature knows best, and it certainly has been quiet around here, except for the crows and night critters, which are very loud. The Katydids are gone for sure. I enjoy their songs every late summer, and surely miss it.

This year, we are preparing earlier than usual, getting things ready for the cold weather. Winter will certainly be more expensive this year, and we have to make some adjustments. The price of heat pellets has gone up about $2.00 more per bag. There are 50 bags to a ton, and we go through 3-4 tons a winter depending on how cold it is, and how long the cold temperatures last. One winter we went through 5 tons. It was an early winter that lasted longer. The energy companies are already letting customers know of their increase. Budgets will have to be adjusted and readjusted more than once to accommodate a cost increase on pretty much everything. Non-essentials will be eliminated, and essentials will be monitored well. Instead of value for the money, value per use will be more important. It will be an experience for the new generations, a memory trigger for older ones. Seasons come and go in nature and in life. Every season has its worries, but it also has its blessings. Let’s focus on the later. Focusing on the blessings certainly changes perspective and balance expectations.

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:”

Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV

Community Solar Farm?

These days it is all about solar. Last week, while researching my neighborhood news I came across an article about a community solar farm in our area. I find solar farms hideous, unsightly, and not as good as people claim these to be. For the landowner, it means good rental income for the next 30 years, for the rest of the people, just plain ugly. The article claims that the project will be a small solar farm, concealed by vegetation and remotely operated, no onsite engineers. Let’s hope so. The article claims that Dominion Energy customers will benefit from it, lowering their energy bills. I am not a customer, and we are serviced by a cooperative in the neighborhood, but it might be affiliated somehow. I feel sorry for the neighbors who will have to look at it. It will be located next door to the MVP, another hideous project, halted twice and still in the courts, that will bring no meaningful benefit to our community. I dislike when pretty little towns want to become like big cities, bad fit. Solar farms are popping up all over Virginia. Our little town has approved about 8 or so lately. I saw an interview (on another town) where a poor woman was almost in tears because her home was surrounded in all four sides by acres of solar panels, and she happened to be in the middle, no buffers between her property line and the solar panels, and she demonstrated how she could stretch her hand from her property line and almost touch the panels; these were that close. Once she was surrounded by farmland, and beautiful vegetation, which gave way to this nightmare. Imagine, who would ever want to buy her home? There are many stories of property owners being affected by this. I admit that I did not know much about the topic, so I decided to do a bit of research to educate myself; after all, we will have a small one on almost 57 acres of land nearby. The owners, not local people, but out of state people, who bought the land. Recently, about last week, another 58 acres came up for sale next to it, and these were scooped up right away; I hope not by the same owners.

After researching a bit, it seems to me that solar farms are not as green as these might appear. The panels last about 30 years and during that time, the metals and materials used during manufacturing degrade and end up on the soil or water sources, contaminating these, and posing a risk, if not properly monitored. After 30 years, the solar company is supposed to dispose safely of these panels and clean up the land. Solar panels require a lot of cooling off thus requiring a significant amount of water. We all have wells around here and are very happy with our wells. I hope we do not have to convert to water lines/sewer because we do not welcome the extra expense, and you know how expensive your water bill is. A few weeks ago, I saw a survey company marking utilities in the area. I asked one of the workers, “what are you doing and why?” He truly did not know the answer. He said that he only worked for the survey company and did not know any more information. They were marking utilities as far as route 29, which worries me a bit. As I write this post, I can see the orange and blue markers at a distance, orange is for communication lines… and blue is for water lines.

In addition, the mirrors in the solar panels cause injury to birds, burning their feathers. So much for green energy – soil and water contaminants, which leaves the land not good for future crops, large water requirements to cool down and operate the solar farm, acres of flora destroyed, fauna injuries … In a nearby town, Amazon is planning to set up a Mega Solar Farm, one of the largest. The happy landowners will certainly benefit from it, maybe the next 30 years. Let’s abandon agriculture in the name of solar energy, it surely will taste good in a possible famine. As you might be able to tell, I am not a fan.

Something for you to learn about. I was very happy when the land where this community solar farm will be located changed zoning from R-1 (residential 1) to A-1 (agricultural). For me, it meant more farm use and less dwellings. Little did I know that this change meant that the land use is just one step away now to become industrial zoning. But what do I know? I rather have a stinking cow farm next door than an apartment building, a factory, or a solar farm, so I might not be the best judge or advocate; I’m bias. Well, at least solar farms are quiet, and if properly concealed, I might not even notice it. That is until the future tells a different story on health hazards. Right now, according to WHO – World Health Organization – (and who trust them these days?) there is not sufficient scientific data that solar farms affect health in any way. There is some information on people who suffer from electro sensitivity, which means that the radiation that devices/signals such as Wi-Fi, 5G … emit affect these people severely, even might shorten their lifespan, but nothing concrete.

I even question if it is wise or safe to have a solar farm next to a gas pipeline, but that’s me. Our little town proudly displays a sign that reads “Bird Sanctuary.”

Welcome home solar farms, welcome home.

The Simple Life – Simple Grocery List During Hard Times

As a follow up to the previous post, I thought that this topic would be of some practicality. I’ve met all kinds of people in my lifetime, rich people, poor people, and people in between. Each person views the world/life in a different way. Their life situation determines how they see the most basic things. Some people might consider eating steak daily, or an iPhone, a necessity, while for others it is a luxury. Their views are different according to their experience. For some people, “hard times” might be lacking the luxuries they are accustomed to enjoy, but for other people, it might mean lacking the basic necessities such as food, water, electricity … At the grocery store, I have seen people putting a basic staple back on the shelf, the shopping cart containing only a couple of necessary items. I’ve also seen the frustration in their faces. What would you do if you had to come up with a small grocery list that would give you the most for your very limited budget, last longer, and provide basic nutrients? Would you know what to buy or how to make it last? Would you even know where to start?

When having a very limited budget sale price is important, but also, brands and organic products might have to be passed by if the cost is much more than you can afford at the moment. Price per ounce or servings might become important instead, and knowing shelf life might be necessary, in case you cannot shop in a longer period of time. Knowing how to preserve and make last what you bought might also be important. During hard times, your brain will be rewired differently, and you will start thinking in ways you have never thought before. Words such as ration, preparedness, long-lasting … and other words will become familiar words. Suddenly, your vocabulary has been expanded, and so has your old world.

Once I met a very educated elderly lady who had been very prosperous. Her world change one day when her country became a communist country. She was left with nothing. Her nephews and other family members were shot against a wall, and she had to escape her beloved country in a cargo boat, thanks to a captain she knew and was her friend. She left her country with only the clothes she had on, and her daughter, hidden on that boat. I will never forget the lessons I learned through that lady.

Your world, your situation can change in a short period of time (there is no blame here). When life changes and hard times come, how you respond to change is extremely important. I also met a rich gentleman who once told me that his kids only received one gift for Christmas. He wanted them to appreciate what they had and see the season for what it truly was. I met many people for whom the only source of food was the local food pantry and not the supermarket. All of them beautiful souls in very different circumstances.

What would you do if suddenly, food became an important challenge in your life? You would probably go back to simple basics. Here is an example of a very simple, basic, and long-lasting food and basic essentials list. Although this list is very basic, I know that for some people it might seem a long list (26 items), depending on the circumstances. The list requires for you to know how to cook, combine meals or ingredients, and ration meals. Also, assuming you only can purchase one of each, or what your budget allows.

  • milk (any kind). Powder milk is long-lasting. A source for calcium, vitamin D, your dairy.
  • butter or oil (your fats, also for cooking.
  • flour – for many uses (any kind of flour, and also will last)
  • rice or pasta – a little fills you up.
  • beans – good source of protein; you need protein to live.
  • bread or crackers – fills you up, carbohydrates/sugar give you energy. Can be used for breakfast, lunch or dinner. You can also make your own bread or crackers by using flour.
  • eggs (liquid or powder too, powder will last you longer). Source of protein. Can use any time as a meal.
  • salt – for flavor, cooking, and medicinal. Also supplies iodine which you need to survive.
  • pepper – for flavor.
  • cheese – (your dairy and protein). Any kind will do in an extreme situation, even powder cheese or Velveeta cheese, which are long-lasting.
  • coffee or any powder drink – Although not essentials, (you can drink water if needed) some people need their caffeine, and many powder drinks provide sugars and are enhanced with vitamins or minerals.
  • meat, fish, or poultry – for extra protein, but if you cannot afford these, an alternative is canned meat or peanut butter. Peanut butter is long-lasting and does not require refrigeration. It will provide fats, sugars, and protein for your body. It is also affordable in comparison to other items.
  • fruit – for vitamins and antioxidants.
  • tomato sauce (or canned tomatoes, puree) – for cooking
  • sugar or honey – for cooking or if you cannot go without it for flavoring meals.
  • canned veggies – if you cannot afford more expensive veggies these will do.
  • apple cider vinegar – for cooking, but also aids in digestion, and also for cleaning.
  • baking soda – for baking, but can also be used as a toothpaste, for acid and indigestion, or even cleaning your home.
  • bar of soap – for bathing, but also cleaning and laundry.
  • toilet paper
  • toothpaste
  • pain relief pills/alcohol/hydrogen peroxide/Vaseline – first aid as needed. Hydrogen peroxide can also be used to clean your teeth.

If you can afford a bottle of multi-vitamins that will help provide what is lacking in your diet.

One can make bread, crackers, tortillas, cookies, cakes, pancakes with flour.

Anything in powder form or canned is longer-lasting.

Pets, kids, and people with special diets or medical conditions will require other food items, meds …

When in need, your local food pantry, church, or community action center can be of much help. They can also direct you to other services.

I hope this list is helpful, however, when in need, I will also add a prayer to your Creator. I hope you enjoyed this post.

Love and light.

“I shall walk in a wide place, for I have sought your precepts.”

Psalm 119:45

October Fright

October is almost here, and with it, the Halloween decorations start appearing in stores and homes. When I was a child I loved Halloween, and as an adult, I enjoyed making elaborated candy bags for the neighborhood kids, as many as a hundred bags, and many times, all of them went before 8 PM that day. I enjoyed seeing the little kid’s costumes, and in the back of my mind I always picked a favorite – the winner for the day. I dressed up for work on a few occasions – alien, ninja, enchantress … Although I don’t celebrate Halloween anymore, (my views of the celebration have changed considerably), I think most people enjoy dressing up for it, and enjoy the day with their kids. In lieu of it, I have decided to post a few four-line poems, quartets.

White Lies

Coward surrounded by white

Eagles left behind.

Rotten soul hiding behind the mask,

slowly decaying, festering in lies.

***

A Broken Touch

Not Midas, nor gold

Broken is the old man’s touch.

Chaos, disarray, disdain …

IT brings forward a broken world.

***

The Boogie Man

Everything he touches crumbles,

taste of decay and desolation.

Lonely soul awaiting fate

Days run short, darkness engulfs him.

Photo by M.A.D.