The other day, I had a conversation with my sister that made me think about time, mortality, and my perception of these. She watched a video in which a former supermodel now in her sixties, said that if she were to live until her eighties, she will have about 20 more summers to enjoy. Being about her age, the realization that 20 summers is not too many hit me. Imagine writing these numbers down and crossing each one as time goes by and realizing that 20 is such a finite number and thus, the fragility and brevity of one’s existence. Overwhelming on paper for sure.
Time is aloof. It is long, it is short, it is real, but also measured by our kind, by our humanity. It is freely given; it is used and misused. It is ignored when we think we have much of it but wanted when it seems scarce or limited. It is a blessing but a curse for many. Perception defines it, for every person differently; we give it meaning. It is constant but forgettable. It is natural but also, supernatural and mystifying.
Summers come and go. I never thought about them as a finite number. When I think of what I did last summer, much of it eludes me. Did I enjoy it? Did it just go by as any other season? For some reason, when you start numbering your summers, your life seems to have gone faster, time seems to speed up, and the realization of how fragile one’s existence is, and how special it is as well, certainly puts many things into perspective. Memories are markings of the passing of time. I guess that my point to all of this rambling is that time is a gift, a blessing we are given, and our days are not guaranteed. No one knows for sure what this day will bring, or if it will be the last, so in that sense, would a number even matter?
For us time is linear, but also, it is more than that. Just think of everything that happens at once in your life, with all your interactions, and the people in your circle and beyond, all around you, all interconnected in some supernatural and natural way. Live well the blessing of a new day and be grateful for the time that has been given to you; it is all a gift from above. I am certainly looking forward to this summer.
Ten years ago, we moved to rural Virginia and fixed up a dilapidated farmhouse. I ended up naming it Black Crow Cottage, for the many crows who live and play here, one of my favorite birds. I love crows, and I love their song, so when I saw that we had so many around, it was natural to name the farmhouse just that. Over the years, we have done a lot of work on the place. We made it livable; we gave it its soul back. This old farmhouse (circa 1910) has given much to us as well. For those stopping by and visiting this blog for the first time, here’s a picture of the way it looked when we bought it. For more on the whole process you can visit my older posts under Fixing an Old Farmhouse or Restoring an Old Farmhouse.
The old farmhouse as it was, dilapidated, covered in weeds, almost destroyed.
After all this time, we got to know the old farmhouse better. We were respectful of its past but also lived in it knowing that it could be our home in our golden years. Knowing this, we experienced the house and all it had to offer but realized that there are many things that we need to change for making it a permanent residence. This is what this post is all about, the changes that we know we have to make, now that we have lived in it for a decade. Also, we have decided to give it a refresh and paint the entire place, while we rethink the layout. In addition, we love the tight small community in which we live. After the monstrosity data center ordeal that we all lived through, it has been more apparent how special this community is.
Our initial layout served us at the beginning but now we realized that we need a bedroom downstairs. The stairs to the second floor are very narrow and steep (I cannot fit my entire foot on the step). After hurting my knee during the summer, I realized how important it was for us to have a bedroom downstairs. The original layout had a bedroom downstairs, where we set up the living room in order to make the old living room a dining room. The kitchen was an eat-in kitchen. For long term living, the old set up was much more suitable, so we are reverting to the old set up. Recently, we repainted both rooms and switched the living room to where the dining room was, eliminated the dining room, and now, we are in the process of converting the old living room into a bedroom. We are reverting to the way things used to be and functioned in this old farmhouse.
Below, is a progression of the stairwell during all this time, from the beginning until now. We changed the color and added a much-needed longer railing.
The living room is now where the dining room was. Our family is spread out so we really did not need a large dining room. This is a progression of the old living room, which will become a bedroom, and the new set up for the living room as it is now, located where the dining room was.
The kitchen is in the middle of a refresh right now, we need to paint, and half of it is done. Due to the recent cold temperatures, we stopped painting. The temperatures here have been in the 30s during the day, and in the teens or single digits during the night, sometimes, even a below zero negative wind chill. It has been unusually cold. Here is a progression of the kitchen from its awful early stages when we bought the farmhouse, until now. We still have some work to do, which will continue during this year.
The back room will remain the mudroom/cat room, and it will be repainted. The upstairs will remain a bedroom, and an office, but will be repainted. However, this area has experienced an increase in energy bills, as well as many other counties have, and we are planning to do some energy efficient changes in the future, which will include encapsulating the crawlspace, new roof and insulated siding, as well as closing the second floor by adding a door/wall at the end of the stairway, which can be closed during winter to keep the heat mainly downstairs. This type of farmhouse construction used to bypass insulation and in order to insulate it, a frame has to be built around the entire house (costly) to allow for insulation. It cannot be insulated in the usual way because there is no space between the outside wall and interior wall, thus preventing the airflow and creating mold problems in the future. Since the majority of the heat escapes through the roof and crawlspace, addressing those areas should take care of the issue, as well as using a new pre insulated siding. Those are costly projects that will be planned in the future. For now, adding a wall/door to the upstairs should improve energy consumption considerably, followed by crawlspace encapsulation. We also use a pellet stove for heating, which is very energy efficient.
These are mainly the issues that we will be dealing with to make this farmhouse a place where we can live for many years to come with God’s blessing. I will be sharing the progression in future blog posts. I hope this helps those of you who are going through a renovation of an older home, of how important it is to consider issues that will be relevant in the future, especially if planning to live in it for many years or if it may be a forever home.
When life does not seem to go as expected and might feel as if we are being tested beyond our strength, it may seem as if we are hanging from the last thread. The thread seems to unravel more and more with every feeling, emotion, and physical/mental response we experience during times of turmoil, sadness, and desperation. Sometimes, the intensity of what we are experiencing is so difficult to endure that exhausted as we feel, we might as well let go of that last thread. Some people do. Others see a little bit of hope on that last bit of strength and hold on for dear life, praying for better days or a miracle, and somehow, it happens. As long as you don’t let go, it happens. You are made stronger as you hold on tight; you are renewed as you pray every single day, and sometimes, even every single moment of the day. Somehow, you are lifted up, changed, renewed and refreshed, and you see the light around you. Where there was darkness, now there is light, and you can begin to see it.
Because that act of faith, of holding on, of praying, you were lifted up and made anew. Something changed. You experienced the love of God, a miracle. Holding on tight to the last Thread? Don’t let go; pray. You are being sustained by the love of God, who heard you pray, and your miracle is about to happen.
A couple of weeks ago I watched an interview about AI and its ramifications so far, and possible impact in a very near future. Because artificial intelligence is developing and learning at a very accelerated pace, the person being interviewed believed that there is a small window of opportunity now for humanity to “take control” of AI before it basically controls us and everything around us, our entire world/existence. He said that in a very short time we would not be able to clearly distinguish between AI and reality, so we should not miss the small window of opportunity right now to understand it better and take charge of it.
All this sounded very science fiction to me, but also, a very real possibility. It made me think about the world, our humanity, and role in it, as well as our “sacred space” in this world; we each have one. If this were to happen in a not-so-distant future, where would the last analog space be? As long as we remain human and we treasure our humanity, that last analog space would be within us; it will be inside us, the essence that makes us who we are, our soul. It is up to us to care and cherish that sacred space, where the divine meets us.
Every New Year’s Eve, my husband and I watched the New York City celebrations on TV. It is something that has become a tradition and we enjoy very much. This year, as I watched, I realized something that although in plain view, escaped my mind before, and I did not give it a second thought. As I watched the crowd, I saw a sea of diversity, people from every ethnic background, color, race, age, gender … They were all celebrating together, smiling, dancing, hoping. At that time, these people were one in experience. I thought of it as one of the most beautiful things one can witness in a lifetime, the oneness of us.
The human race is so beautiful. The more I focused on each face on the crowd the more I felt this internal connection of belonging to something greater than myself. I saw hope reflecting; I saw such beauty in God’s creation. We are all different, but one race. We might look different, speak different languages, have different cultures, but we are one race. There is such beauty in that. In this climate of division and hate, let us realize that we came from one Creator who loves us all the same. Some of us might have fallen in darkness more than others, but we are loved the same. If only we could realize the mystery of His creation, that we have the breath of God in us, His light, and that just because of that, we are one in many, but also the wonder of being, of existing as part of His creation. If we could understand that each one of us was meant to be, we would feel more connected, and maybe we would understand that God does not make mistakes, or garbage, or less than … that would be denial of His own nature. We are all in this together and we are part of something beautiful, of something holy.
I leave you with a poem that I wrote years ago and came to mind as I wrote this post.
Where did the year go? For me, it was truly a whirlwind that swept me in many directions, expected and unexpected, some good, some not so good; however here I am, thankful for it all, and looking forward to next year experiences, whatever they might be. It is life; it means I am alive and open to God’s plan for my life. This is my last post for the year, and I was not sure of what to write to end the year. I did not want it to be another holiday post, so here I am, winging it. Just think of it as a conversation from the heart.
Sometimes, we let ourselves be influenced by others, whether that be media, friends, family, acquaintances, influencers, groups, religion, politics … You name it. Everyone has anything to say about how we should live and plan our existence, but when we think about it, nobody really has the answers. Life is given to us to experience and fulfill it, one day, moment, second at a time. When you think about it, it is beautiful. We were presented with this gift that we did not ask for, and we have the freedom to live it. Whatever things are thrown in the package, it is all ours to make something of it. We are all one big conglomerate in the human race; we all want to live a happy and peaceful, joyful life. We are more similar than not. Hate is a disease, it is sickness. Love is a cure. We decide. We might be influenced, negatively or positively, but we decide. We decide how to act, react, and what to let into our life, what we give our attention to, and how we live day by day. In the end, we only have this day, and sometimes, not even a full one; our seconds are in the hand of our Creator, but so are our blessings. Does it really matter if someone else has more than you? or if you did not meet your goals this year? Does it? When I think about it, and in the big scheme of the journey, it truly does not. I don’t know how long my journey is, no one does, so why not choose love over sickness, inner peace over discontent, gladness over bitterness, and hope, especially hope. The journey is meaningless without hope, and faith.
I hope that you embrace the holiday season and next year with hope, faith, and at peace with yourself, the rest will come when it needs to come. When God made you, he knew who he made, but also, your journey. Your journey is not meant to be stationary; it is meant to be full of change, and change brings growth, knowledge, and understanding, and with understanding comes kindness, and with kindness, love. In that sense, change is good.
I wish you and yours a joyous holiday season and may next year be filled with the kind of blessings that only come from above, the best kind, in my opinion. Merry Christmas! God bless you all.
Love and Light,
Inkspeare
For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6 NKJ)
I was not expecting snow so early this year here in Virginia, USA, but we got a few inches. The temperatures have been cold, hitting in the 20s at night and even in the teens once or twice. Last year, we only had a dusting. The old 1910 farmhouse (Black Crow Cottage) is cold in the winter, a given of homes built early. These homes were framed different and without insulation on the walls; by the way, to insulate is not recommended due to the risk of trapping moisture in the horizontal boards and thus causing mold issues. A frame around the walls would have to be built in order to insulate the home, thus leaving space for the air flow. This is something to keep in mind if you ever decide to buy and fix this type of home. You can see pictures of this type of framing in my older posts under the categories of Fixing an old farmhouse or Restoring a farmhouse.
Snow always makes the news around here, even a few inches, and many businesses close operation for the day. People seem to love it when it snows. Moving here from Jersey, it is a contrast. I remember driving to work on a nor’easter on a few occasions, or we would have a delayed opening. Crossing a bridge under heavy snow is an experience, but under heavy fog, it is just out of this world; the feeling is one of flying in the sky inside a car. Not that I recommend this, but when you had to be there, you had to get there. Everything is more relaxed now as far as the job environment goes, for what I can see. Here are a few pictures to welcome the season.
This is why I love crows so much. There are no birds around, the snow is falling heavy wet, and there is Rebel poking the snow and playing, pulling out leaves. I named this crow Rebel because I observed him being a bit different from the siblings when Mama Crow was training them on how to eat. He would be the last one to learn to peck on his own, and Mama Crow would come to the rescue from time to time, I guess when she could not take the yelling for food anymore. Even the siblings, two of them, would feed him at times. When two families of crows would mingle, he would be the one going his own way, minding his own business. One sibling seemed to bully him at times, once he had learned how to peck the ground for food. When I took this picture, he was alone, none of the crows where around. Later on, he flew back to where they usually live, in the woods behind my house.
Sometimes, my husband comes up with out of the blue projects; this is one of them. I don’t know where he gets the time, but he does. I want to share it with you because it is a simple and cute Christmas ornament for the outdoors that requires a few recycle materials, in this case, it is several wire hangers. Yes, the kind of hangers that you get from the cleaners. Most people dislike these and throw them away. He made a lovely Christmas tree. Somehow, he attached the hangers together with wire, spray painted these with silver paint and bent the part that hangs to be able to use it for ornaments, in this case he added silver bells. He also wrapped the tree with mini lights. Here are the pictures, and maybe you will be inspired to make one for your patio or porch. I will be putting this one on the porch, near the door.
This is the frame before adding the bells and lights.
Here it is decorated with bells and lights. If I was going to put it out on the ground instead of the porch, I would use the remnant of a hanger to make u shaped pins and pin it to the ground with those.
As for me, I continue my tradition of eating a Christmas tree mini cake, and of course, a chocolate Santa or a reindeer to kickstart the holiday season.
I hope that you enjoyed this little Christmas project.
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Jesus taught us to love.
He blessed the children. He fed the hungry. He healed the sick. He spoke peace not war. He forgave his enemies. He forgave sins. He loved all, including the outcasts. He liberated the oppressed. He gave his life for all, the greatest act of love. What is not of Love, is not of God.
Inkspeare 