The above picture inspired this post. Accidentally, I broke part of the morning glory plant growing by the side entrance. It had a lovely flower, so I placed it in water, near the kitchen sink, and by the window. I figured it would last a day, two at most. However, by the next day, the flower did not open and fell when I touched it. The plant seemed alright, and it would perk up in the morning and go to rest in the afternoon, just as Morning Glory does, so I let it be. By the end of the week, a new little flower developed at another part of the vine. It is the flower in the picture. I was surprised by this, as this little flower developed beyond my expectations.
It happens with our lives as well. We are full of expectations, plans, dreams, and many hopeful things and thoughts that many times, do not come to fruition or developed as we expected; however, life goes on. It is a journey. It continues beyond our expectations, and whether we were able to grow the flowers we intended to or not, our journey always comes with new offerings, new flowers, because there will always be life beyond expectations. Our journey is full of “flowers;” some open fully and on time, some never bloom, other bloom halfway, other for a very short time, but other open and bloom when we least expect it. Those are the ones that take our breath away.
When I decided to live in a more present and simpler way, one of the effects that happened almost as a natural reaction was for me to rid of excess in my life, material and other. After evaluating much of my life in a systemic way, I started to let go of stuff first, and eventually, of every other thing that did not fell into balance with my life’s systems. Stuff was a significant area for me, years of accumulation, of excess. This act of letting go opened my eyes to many areas, and I became aware of how possessions dictate on one’s way of living, how people identify with their possessions, and ultimately, how one’s identity can be reduced to one’s possessions, by ourselves and by the perception of others as well. Our living is reduced to maintaining such possessions, and in a way, the stuff that was supposed to enhance living, ends up diminishing it.
I remember attending a funeral when I was much younger, and as I approached the widow to give her my condolences, I decided to wait aside until she finished her conversation with a couple. Without intention, I overheard the man asking this grieving widow how much she wanted for her late husband’s car. Obviously, it was not the time and place to ask that question. This scene stayed in my mind until today. It made me realized how people see other people after death, and how inconsiderate a person who is materially oriented can become. On a more recent observation of human behavior, I observed how a man who owned many vehicles was reduced to his possessions after he died. The next day, there were many takers looking to buy his vehicles. One of them, even checking out a motorcycle during the family service which was at the home of the deceased. This reminded me of the first incident that happened many years ago, its similarity, and made me think of how I would like to be remembered when I go to meet my maker. I am sure that most of us have heard stories about family feuds after a patriarch or matriarch dies, and of siblings fighting for an inheritance and relationships being broken for the same reasons. It happens in the closest of families.
I am not a minimalist, and I can appreciate beautiful things, but I don’t want my identity to be based on stuff, neither how other people might remember me by. When we approach the relation to our possessions as stewards of the material blessings we receive instead of owners or collectors, we become more grateful, but also more generous. We also learn to see people for their true essence and not their status or material abundance, and as a default, we end up having better human to human interactions once we remove the material filter.
I think that younger generations are lacking something that was very important for older generations – role models. Our society has decline in this sense, and instead, a younger generation is filling that void with role models found in Hollywood celebrities and even AI, wherever they can find the ideal, even when it may be a bit removed from reality. If you had an influential and positive role model in your life, count yourself blessed. When we are young, we might not recognize the significant influence of a role model in our life, but later on, in hindsight, we realize how blessed we were.
I had two strong role models in my life, both women, and they contributed much to the woman I am today. One of them, my grandmother, the strong, courageous, and righteous woman who raised me. I can honestly say that she was the living image of the woman in Proverbs 31. I learned so much character and wisdom from her (and much more) throughout my childhood and my early younger years, but her teachings lasted a lifetime.
As a young and married adult in my 20s, I met my second role model, a Jewish woman who introduced me to business concepts, an area of my life that had no previous exposure as far as learning. I value her teachings to this day because she inspired in me a learning for such things and gave me a view of myself that I never had before in that sense. She inspired me to dream more, for the first time.
These women, very different but similar in character, and from very different cultures, upbringing, religious views, education, and socioeconomic backgrounds, shaped much of my thinking in a positive way, and I am so grateful for having them in my life at an early age. When I think about what I consider a scarcity in role models these days, I see a correlation with the erosion of our value system as a society. Times may change, technology may modernize and influence the way we do daily living, but core values should remain and not get lost within a rapid changing culture. These are basic rules of engagement, of humanity and societal goodness that we ought to pass on to the next generation.
Sometimes, nature gives us a glimpse of its perfection, and at the same time of its wisdom. Mama deer left her baby near the blue shed, where she felt it would be safe from predators. The fawn must have been born recently because its legs were still a bit unsteady. There was shade in the morning but was very hot under the sun by the afternoon. An entire day, no water, only sleeping and aware from time to time. I knew that Mama deer would return in the early evening as it is normal for female deer to do this when fawns are very little. I monitored the heat situation from my kitchen window, just in case, but trusting that Mama deer always knows best. Indeed, she does. Newborn fawns need a lot of heat in the first hours of life because their body temperature is not well regulated yet. She knew that the metal shed would provide sun protection for a good part of the day, but also much necessary exposure to the heat the fawn needed. I observed the fawn at several intervals during the day, and as instructed by its mother, the little one did not move from the space no matter what was going around. My husband avoided the area while doing outdoor chores. By the evening, Mama deer returned to check on her baby and feed him, she was around in the early evening, monitoring the fawn from a distance, but as soon as it was a bit dark outside, she reunited with her fawn. The next day, early morning, I saw her in the backyard feeding her baby. She has left him in the surrounding woods near the house a few times, for what I can tell by seeing her return in the evenings, and by now, the fawn is able to be with her during the day.
Mama deer feeding her baby early morning, the next day (Photo by M.A.D. taken through the kitchen window)
The way of nature is wisdom in itself. Sometimes, where we find safety and security is in the familiar.
We are conditioned and bombarded with messages from the second we arrive in this world, positive and negative, messages of becoming a success and live up to our unlimited potential. These messages may be subtle or direct, and they become ingrained in our minds and hearts so deeply that we spend the rest of our lives chasing the success we were told and promised if we did all the right things. It happens in every culture on this planet, but here, we call it the American Dream.
People sacrifice everything in the pursuit of this promise, and when they see that some poor soul rose from the ashes and achieved what they have dreamed of, well, it serves as a reinforcement that they are in the right path, that no sacrifice is in vain. They say, “I too, will succeed.” But what happens when you have done all the right things, taken all the right steps, followed the rules, sacrificed much, and success has not materialized how you visualized it? It puzzles you, it shrinks you, it demoralizes you because deep inside you know well that you gave it your all, and more so.
Have you ever thought of something, that the piece of the puzzle that refuses to connect, to finish your picture of success has nothing to do with you? That there is nothing wrong with you, that it is not you? That you are living in an imperfect system that failed you, and not the other way around? You did not fail. You are not a failure. You did everything you learned you were supposed to do, you followed every rule, you sacrificed much more than you should have, and you gave more than one hundred percent in the pursuit of your dream. If you can honestly answer, “Yes, I did all that,” then you did not fail. You did not fail yourself, you did not fail your loved ones, and you did not fail “the system,” but the system failed you. A system that has not evolved with each new generation but that has eroded in every area possible, and has become obsolete, slowly.
Each one of us has a different journey to follow, and one doesn’t fit all. If today, you are feeling exhausted, drained, demoralized, and even without faith, don’t blame yourself for your “material failures”. There is much more to your journey here than the material success that you were sold into since you arrived at your earthly living. The One who designs everything designed your journey, and with it, it gave you the freedom to choose. Every new day that you receive only means that your journey has not ended, that there is still more to come, and that you are certainly more important in this journey of yours than the imperfect and incomplete image of success that you were presented with and sold when you didn’t know better. But now you do. You are finally free. It is not you, and you are not a failure. So, pick up your journey and invite your Designer, your Maker, your Creator into the rest of your life. But this time, knowing fully that it is not you, that you are not a failure, but a victor in Him.
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” Proverbs 16:3
Sometime ago, I went to sign in on one site and had to verify that I wasn’t a robot. Instead of the usual pictures that one can hardly see, I was presented with a squiggly made-up word that I could hardly tell what it was for sure. After two attempts to decipher the squiggly words, I decided to use the sound button to listen to the pronunciation. Well, that did not help. What I heard was a cacophony of AI robotic voices, all at once but not in sync, a screech from hell, impossible to understand. It truly was creepy. The experience prompted this post. I thought, is this ridiculous enough? A robot verifying if I am human and not a robot. I found it a little bit ironic.
Sometimes, we take our humanity for granted; we don’t know if we will lose it one day. Will we ever merge with machine? I certainly don’t want to be around when we become one and the same. I am not referring to medical advances that help humans function due to a condition or illness, but of a complete merge of human and machine/software/whatever artificial that might be, at the brain level, where one absorbs the other. Symbiotic? I don’t think so. Sounds too sci-fi? Maybe, but I don’t think impossible. The reality is that technology is evolving rapidly, too fast. If you have not heard the speech of Geoffrey Hinton, also known as the Godfather of AI, (for his important and pioneering work on its development), at the World Economic Forum, or even any of his latest interviews, I invite you to listen to it. It is very eye opening. He has already warned the world of the existential threat that AI poses for humanity and what he thinks is a smart solution now, because we are running out of time. His credentials are impressive, and I invite you to know a bit more about him, so you can appreciate and understand who the one is warning us. I won’t spoil it for you with details on this blog post, but seriously, listen to him talk about this topic – he knows.
The day we lose our humanity, the same humanity given to us by our Creator, with it we will lose our essence, our kindness, our empathy, what makes us different, what we are. We will lose our divine connection. Isn’t it ironic? But Jesus said,
“I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” John 14:6
I know that God looks after us during our entire life. Life’s little clues are proof of that, at least for me. Life’s clues are meant to steer us in the right direction, and to keep us out of heartache and trouble. They are always there, if one cares to see them. These clues always come at the crucial moment, before our mind is made up about a situation. They come as a series of visual clues, information we come across without searching for it but captures our attention somehow, strong enough to notice it. Clues also come as a comment from an unusual source, a stranger, or even as a comment from someone we know, but has no knowledge of the situation. Sometimes, it is the right word that you keep seeing over and over, everywhere. It is usually a subtle hint that we seem to notice but ignore many times. When we ignore these clues, in hindsight we see that these warnings were there, but we chose to disregard them. The effects of a wrong decision can last a lifetime. The longer you live, you learn to recognize these clues and to attune your perception, and you understand that a piece of information, however it may present itself, is there for a reason.
As a Christian, I see these clues as part of my daily communion with God, and seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance in my life, but there was a time when I was not completely connected spiritually. Now, I realize that God did care and sent those clues for me to see. Whether you are a Christian or not, or spiritually connected with your Creator or not, pay attention to those little life’s clues that are meant to save you disappointment and heartache in the long run; they are put there by your Maker who loves you and has your best interest in mind. Every time we say a prayer we become more receptive, aware, and perceptive. The more we strengthen our spiritual connection the more aware we become.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God: I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
From time to time, the muse taps my shoulder, and let’s me know that it is time to write a little poem. Sometimes it is a holiday poem, about nature, or even a satire, and sometimes it is about the Golden Man, a character I created a few years ago. Think of him as a social character.
A Golden Man’s Cuisine
The Golden Man forgot his quest,
in pomp and circumstance now, he bathes.
Who are those people under my feet?
Must be the ants, and they don’t eat.
Bring me some wontons, bring me kababs; the ants can starve.
Ever had a conversation with someone that becomes exhausting and it goes nowhere? Every word said needs to be analyzed or contested, if not enlightened by some not needed piece of information. By the end of the conversation, which one welcomes, there is this feeling of exhaustion and drainage. I have met many people like that, and it is very difficult to have a conversation with them because their focus is to debate anything and/or everything that is said. It is not a pleasant exchange, but futile, even when no attempt to re-establish a point is made.
Life is not a battle or debate. Instead, it is an interaction, an open exchange of ideas between people, whether explicit or not, through words and actions. There is no need to approach a conversation with our backs against a wall, ready to fire back. Unless it is an intended discussion were points and opinions are to be debated, there is no need to be defensive or pedagogical. I have seen people become easily agitated or stressed out in normal circumstances, and part of it is their approach at viewing existence as a constant battle, where every social exchange has to be a debate; a battle against what?
People are different (thank God), have different ideas, ways to approach living, and they come from different backgrounds/cultures. One culture does not define planet Earth; all are part of the beautiful human race. We seem to miss that point. It may sound pollyannaish, but life is not meant to be a constant battle or war of the words. The old advice of “let’s agree to disagree” alludes to this type of interaction, and maybe one more appropriate would be to “live and let live,” as the song says. All in the right context.
Writing characters in depth, may sometimes, become exhausting, and many times, reading them as well. It depends on the context and also on how well the writer has experienced/observed the emotions attached to these characters. I don’t think a character should ever be rushed. I think as writers, we should play with them a bit and see what they are all about before we commit to write them. Others, write themselves.
Inkspeare 