inspiration

Finding My Way Back, an Update (and books and roses)

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Finding my way back to my book in progress, The Girl Who Could Not Love, hasn’t been easy. I stopped. I tried. I stopped once more. I had to put it aside for some time despite wanting to continue writing it. Something was not right. It lay dormant, and eventually, I knew I had to come back to it. It has been on my mind all this time, morning, night, and in between; however, distant, but calling me. It is the book that begs to be written to a hesitant writer that has finally surrender to it. Whether to answer the call or not, is not important anymore; it is why. Why is this story haunting me? Why the fight between pen and heart? Why do I want to write this story? Why won’t the story quit? Why won’t I quit?

While reading Never Too Late (or was it Shine On? I read them back-to-back) by Claire Cook, I thought about something she mentioned. It is to ask yourself in the reinvention journey, but in her case while writing a book, what stands in the way of my protagonist? I asked that question about my novel, and my protagonist. The answer, me. I was standing in the way. So, I had to ask myself the question, and I got my deep-rooted answer. I am working on it.

In the meantime, I have been reading up a storm, some of which are these. I am currently reading It’s Rising Time by Kim Kiyosaki. I am enjoying this book very much. I like the writing style of Kim Kiyosaki; it is straight and to the point. So far, I think that this is a book that every woman should read. Next on the agenda is Life Glows On by Claire Cook. Her non-fiction books are straight from the heart and fueled by her experience, as a woman who reinvented herself.

Photo by M.A.D.
Photo by M.A.D.

The garden always calls this time of the year. About two years ago, I planted two tiny rose bushes. One of them, the red rose bush, has grown considerably when compared to the other, a pink rose bush. I planted these at the same time, and they have grown under similar conditions. Both were labeled miniature rose bushes. Just as people, they continue to grow at a different pace. Just like writer’s stories, they bloom and develop at different stages.

To the left, near the duck, the pink rose bush, and on the right, the red rose bush. Photo by M.A.D.
Red rose bush. Miniature? Not so much, but spectacular. Photo by M.A.D.

Miniature or not, both rose bushes have their own enchantment.

Perfect Timing

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Although we had a mild winter, for some reason, it feels a long one. We had a bit of a cool down this week, and even frost overnight. I am glad that I did not jump ahead and planted any veggies, otherwise the timing would have been wrong.

In life, perfect timing seems to be an important issue, more than money or drive. How many times people have had all the money and resources, but it was just not the “right time?” Whatever the project or venture, it did not come to fruition. Immediately, we tend to label it as failure, and even label ourselves as such. What was important for us were results. We forget quickly about the journey, all the effort, work, and focus we put into a project. As if that doesn’t count at all. We only see that we failed. Simply put, results were more important than the journey itself. By disregarding our journey, we forget the lessons learned, and sometimes, the lesson is more important than the result we were hoping for, but we fail to see it because we are too focused on the outcome. After all, we labor hard for something, right? Most people do. We trade something for something else. Time for money, money for things … In the meantime, we forget all that we learned, and how it shaped us. Because we are so conditioned to trade something for something, when we trade our hard work and effort, our mental focus, even emotional energy, and something does not materialize at the end, we blame and label ourselves as failure, and even punish ourselves deep in our hearts. We end up feeling frustrated, tired, lost, and another mental game starts. We think that there must be something wrong with us because we start comparing ourselves to others who have obtained the results we wanted and worked so hard, even sacrificed for, but never materialized. Once we jump into that rollercoaster, our self-esteem is (naturally) going to suffer; then, our trust and believe in ourselves are lost.

What is perfect timing? Many define it as being in the right place at the right time, other people as a kiss from Lady Luck. I define it as learning to be quiet enough that I can see the picture, appreciate the lesson, and wait for the direction that God has for me. I view perfect timing as God’s timing, separate from my human perception of how things should be and end. Learning that has made a difference in my life and how I define success and failure. Perfect timing is God’s speed.

Faith Moves Mountains

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Faith moves mountains. Jesus said that (Matthew 17:20). It is truth for Christians, or it should. Why is it so hard to believe what seems impossible? Maybe because of our human nature. We tend to focus on the problem more than the outcome. Faith is defined as “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) That seems to go against our human nature, yet we have all the capacity for hope and conviction. It is in our darkest hour that we put that truth to the test. Our mountain suddenly seems insurmountable compared to our conviction at the moment; however, hope can only grow, and grow bigger than a mountain. Our assurance doesn’t come from our own human effort, but from the One who said that a little faith moves mountains.

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20-21

Whatever our mountain, let’s climb it with hope and conviction, eventually, it won’t be in our field of vision; it would have moved from the horizon.

When Miracles Leave a Trail

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Photo by M.A.D.

Ever been in a situation where no matter how much you analyze it there appears to be no solution? In those instances, one hopes for a miracle, and many prayers after, a miracle takes place. Most likely, one recognizes and appreciates the miracle, however, many times, it takes a while to comprehend the full impact of that miracle and all the backstage work (godly work) leading to it. Sometimes, it takes time to see the whole miracle as it unfolded. It is then, when we start discovering little pieces of information that come to us bit by bit, leading us to understand and comprehend the magnitude of a miracle. It is this trail of awe that makes us see in full completion the experience of it. If gratitude and awe were strong before, the trail of a miracle not only humbles us, but plants a seed of hope, faith, joy, and peace within.

One realizes that human reasoning has its limits, and when reached, faith and hope take over. If you have experienced a miracle, a happy resolution to what seemed like a hopeless situation, pay attention to the trail that it leaves, and your perspective (more so) will be changed.

Finding Courage in the Midst of Uncertainty

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If you are like me, you want to know as much as possible about a subject before jumping to conclusions or making decisions. I detest half-answers or uncertainty. However, life is a mystery in certain ways, and we don’t always have all the information when we need it. It is part of what makes life worth living, in a way, full of challenges and mystery, usually when you least expect it; call it the lessons of life, sort of.

Uncertainty brings with it not only lack of information, but sometimes, half-truths, bad timing, and sometimes even fear of the unknown. How do you find courage in the midst of all that? How do you navigate through uncertainty in a sea of half-truths, unanswered questions, and lack of information when you want answers fast? Uncertainty drags the soul towards fear. Courage is found through hope, and hope through prayer. Prayer is the best tool when uncertainty lingers in your life and the dawn seems to take longer that you had hoped. Finding courage in the midst of uncertainty is just a prayer away.

We Are a People …

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We are a People…

We are a people of strength,

because we are a people of faith.

We are a people of courage,

our faith rests in the Lord.

*

We are a people of kindness,

our love comes from above.

We are a people of joy.

In God we trust alone.

*

In good times, in bad times,

we are a people of soul.

For when darkness clouds our day,

It is He who restores our soul.

The End of the Road is Just a Bend in the Journey

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Thirteen years or so ago I decided to follow a long-lost dream, publishing my first book. Around the same time, I started blogging about my journey as an independent writer, as well as capturing and renewing the dilapidated soul of an old farmhouse while moving to another state. While the transition took some time, my intention remained the same. My intention was at that time, to not only share the journey but to inspire other fellow writers and readers, and to share what I had learn over the years.

Time does go by quickly, and in retrospect, I think that I accomplished what I set out to do and more; however, the journey continues, and with it the desire to inspire others through a few written lines on this blog, and my novels. This journey brought into perspective sweet challenges, tons of education and effort, as well as understanding myself as a writer, and on that last one, I am still doing so. On the home front, the soul of an old farmhouse has been restored, and now it must be refined. The writer feels the same way. For the DIY lover, this blog is a friendly place as well. I have made my best effort to maintain it simple and honest, not fussy or too “crafted.”

During this journey, I published five novels, and I am currently writing the 6th. The pace has been dictated by the story, and I have tried to be the best steward of words I could be. It hasn’t been easy, but I hope that throughout the years, if you have visited this blog, that you have found at least a bit of what you were hoping to find in it. Many of you have been around for as long or longer than I have, and it has truly been a pleasure to not only share this tiny dot of cyberspace but to read many of your blogs and comments as well. It has been my delight, and I hope that I have reciprocated in some way.

So now what? I am at peace with the pen, my pen that is. I don’t know what the future might hold, but I hope that I can continue to share this journey, and if along the way I am able to inspire a soul, then, I have been of service. For now, part of my work is done, but it is not the end of the road.

Unexpected Beauty

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Sometimes, beauty takes you by surprise and makes you gasp and smile. I took the first two pictures this morning: something unexpected but delightful.

The sun had come up and it illuminated this tree at a perfect angle because it looked as if the raindrops were dangling and glistening like tinsel. A magical sight from my favorite chair. I had to run and grab the camera before it was over. This oak tree is on my closest neighbor’s property. It keeps its dry leaves until the spring. What a lovely sight.
This is just the reflection of a drop of water that is on the outer side of the window glass. As I was going down the stairs, I noticed what I thought were shards of glass on the window. As I got closer and attempted to grab them, I realized it was just a reflection. I thought these were beautiful to look at, and I had never noticed them before. I went downstairs quickly and grabbed the camera once more. What a treat. I know, the window needs cleaning on the outside, but it is winter.
I took this picture the other day. The garden has gone to sleep, and we have had temperatures on and off in the 20s at night and even hit 6 degrees one time, but this plant refuses to go to sleep and keeps flowering. It is the only one in the garden that is still offering its colorful beauty, that is, besides the forsythia plant next door that always blooms in December. A lovely sight.
Every winter, I look forward to seeing this Forsythia bloom in December. So far, this plant seems to prefer winter blooms and not blooming in the spring. For the past four years, I have noticed her early blooms and enjoy it.

Hope you enjoy these pictures.

A New Outlook Must Follow Leaving Behind

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Photo by M.A.D.

As a new year starts, a time for reflection continues, and new beginnings, new goals emerge. New plans are taken into consideration, and a new array of possibilities. For many of us the start of a new year represents a new slate, an exciting journey. We plan, we dream, we ponder, reconsider, and evaluate. We measure ourselves throughout the year left behind. Sometimes, we chastise our self, and other times, we are very pleased with our performance. It is also a time to reflect and leave behind that which does not fit us anymore – the old self that we have been carrying around for years for whatever reason, sometimes, even unaware of its presence. The shadow that once was but remains in our subconscious.

The old self manifests in old habits that don’t serve us anymore, dislikes that we force ourselves to like because we once did, old hobbies that we do not seem to enjoy anymore but think we do, objects that are meaningless to us but we keep, and even beliefs and frame of thought that does not serve us and that we have outgrown by time and experience but seem to have lingered in our lives and mind. Whatever it may be, material or unmaterial, it is better to leave it behind, and make room for new experiences. Sometimes Old Self is heavy and tiresome, even adding mental and emotional weight and clutter that we certainly do not need if we want to live a good life.

As I have pondered and evaluated over the past few weeks, I have found many things that are just not fit for me anymore, material and not, even just present in my life by habit through the years, but not serving the person I am today.

Your life, your space, your mind, should reflect the person you are, not the one you were or even the one you aspired to be once but are not. Life is ever changing, evolving, and sometimes, it turns out better than what we planned for that Old Self. Other times, we might feel that we have not measured up to our expectations, and regret might set in. When that happens, I am reminded and uplifted by this beautiful scripture. It is not critical, judgmental, or demanding. It is simple, sweet, and full of hope and possibilities.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

Mathew 5:16

Assessing Your Strength and Building a Stronghold

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Photo by M.A.D.

I wrote this blogpost as a second part to the previous post.

After a devastating life event, how do you come back to living?

A devastating event will be different for every person, as well as its lasting effects, physically, emotionally and psychologically, as well as materially. When your life has been uprooted and turned upside down and around, how do you recover? During a life storm, everything is taken out of place, including your center, your sense of self and well-being, especially, your sense of self in relation to your Creator.

The recovery and healing process and timeline, assuming that you want it, will be different for everyone, but there are key steps that you can take to start and continue on your way up.

  • First, acknowledge the situation, what has happened, how it happened, but don’t linger on the why looking for blame. Just acknowledge it for what it is at the moment. Know that stagnation or the present condition are not forever unless you decide so.
  • Decide that you want your life back. You want to own your life again, and not be a victim of the circumstances.
  • Acknowledge that you need help, and that help doesn’t equal weakness or handouts. Help can come in many forms: as faith in a higher power, help from above, from a friend or family, from community resources or private resources …
  • Assess your strength. What is good right now? What do you have that is an asset to your healing and recovery? Whether it is in character, spirituality, people, or material resources, make a list of each blessing and look at it. You are not alone. You will feel better.
  • Start visualizing your stronghold, your safe place; it is unique to you. See it in your mind, but also in your heart, no matter how impossible or far away it may seem right now.
  • Start building your stronghold one brick at a time.
    • Brick 1 – Faith, in God and yourself. You need to strengthen it because this block will be the foundation to build over it.
    • Brick 2 – Velocity. Take it one step at a time. Learn to manage the little things first. When you are hurt and vulnerable, anything seems like a huge crisis, unsurmountable, and sometimes it is; however, when in pain, smaller issues are magnified.
    • Brick 3 – Strive for balance. When the weight is out of place, it is easy to feel off balance. Know that a sense of balance will come back as you start managing smaller issues and details one by one. It will strengthen you to keep on going and feel equilibrium. During this time, talk to God; He listens.
    • Brick 4 – Live with intention. By now, you feel a new sense of purpose and desire, even if that is only to come back to the living. Make your days count for you and your loved ones. Live intentionally each day. After all, each brand-new day is a gift the second you open your eyes. Do the best you can with what you have.
    • Brick 5 – Use any resources available to you wisely and carefully. Plan the application of these resources in your life. Don’t waste or overuse these. Develop a sense of responsibility in their inception.
    • Brick 6 – Become selective. Choose carefully the things and people you will give your full attention. This might seem common sense, however, how many times have we placed our attention on things and issues that will not benefit us, whether it relates to time management, frivolous pursuits, unfruitful projects, toxic people, toxic behavior or habits, unhealthy thoughts … Actively choose what enters your space, your sanctuary, your new stronghold. But also, what you will go after from now on, your pursuits.
    • Brick 7 – Build your financial security. This starts with an honest appreciation of your everyday blessings, whether material or immaterial. Be grateful for what you have now and learn to manage it well. Not until that will you be able to define financial health (or any other type of security) for you. However, during that time, you should be working on a few simple skills.
      • Keeping your expenses as low as you can so you can do as much as you can with what you have.
      • Managing your money/resources better. Budgeting.
      • Being intentional with every purchase and on/or below budget.
      • Eliminating your debt one step at a time. It will take time. Stay away from new debt.
      • Building savings slowly. Set an amount, even if low, to start. Savings never stop.
      • Defining your standard of living according to the needs of the stronghold you set out to build. That is why your definition of financial health is important. It will help you discard anything that does not fit in your safe stronghold, whether expensive habits, behavior, or unnecessary purchases. You cannot build a new stronghold while living in an old one that crumbled.
    • Brick 8 – Don’t focus on other people’s strongholds, mind your own. Their blessing is their blessing, yours is yours. It is easy to become distracted by other people’s wants and achievements. It is good to celebrate those and admire, even having someone successful as a mentor. However, when you take your eyes off your stronghold for too long, you will end up neglecting it and even devaluating it. Focus on continuing to build your safe place. Admire others, dream, but don’t neglect your own. This ties back to gratitude.
    • Brick 9 – Realize that stuff and money do not make you rich or more valuable, and it certainly does not make you secure. You do and are with the help of God. When you realize where your true sense of security comes from, that is when you will have built your stronghold. You might have started building it from the outside, in the material, little by little, one small step at a time, one small achievement at a time, however, you will continue to build and improve it on the inside, inside of you, and that is a lifetime’s endeavor.

You are your stronghold and in it reside God’s strength, love, and blessings, because you placed Brick 1 as the foundation.

Disclaimer: I know because I’ve been there.