Ponderable.
What is the point of belonging if I cannot be me?
Things That Make Me Go Uh?
inspiration
Reign of Terror
Here’s a little seasonal Halloween poem, Reign of Terror.
Reign of Terror,
the sick becomes sicker
the hungry hungrier.
Twenty million reasons
away into the night fly
while the land into the dawn cries.
Happy October!
The Sum of Your Life
Ever met someone who has gone through many vicissitudes in life? Somehow, knowing some of the details allows one to understand better the character of that person. I have met people who have been through many sad experiences in life and somehow, they seem to have a good and grounded personality. I am dumbfounded by the ones who have had a pretty good life since childhood and still manage to complain about how unfair life is and how it should be better. The first group of people is usually more grateful, and the later seems to be somewhat unhappy and in perpetual discontentment. It puzzles me. Does the sum of one’s life determine character? I think it determines the level of growth and maturity.
As a writer, I treasure the moments when I get to know someone a bit better in the details of a conversation, even if it is a brief conversation with a stranger. I know that I will never experience many situations in life that other people might have but knowing and interacting with people will make for better character building in writing. I always thought that psychologists could be good developers of characters if not writers because they have access to a range of human emotions and behavior.
Knowing the details or a bit more of the sum of someone’s life allows me to be less judgmental of others and more sympathetic. Think about the sum of your life up until now, how has it influenced the development of your character/personality? If you are “here-now” and are able to go back in time to answer this question honestly, consider yourself blessed.
Happy Autumn!
Survival Mode
The topic of survival is one that I have included in my novels. It is interesting to see how survival can bring out the best or worst in people. It separates heroes from the not so good characters. So is in real life, although I believe that there is redemption for everyone. When a person is in survival mode, it forces the individual to act one way or the other; it brings about the truth of that person. In other words, you cannot fake it when you are in survival mode. It forces you to be what you already are. It shows a person’s true colors.
I will venture to say that in today’s USA, many people are in survival mode, probably more people than we realize. Younger generations are having a tough time keeping up with a very high and unrealistic cost of living and many people are working two plus jobs and hardly making it. Young couples simply cannot afford giving birth because hospital care is simply unaffordable. Food prices, daycare costs, and rent or home prices are truly out of reach for most of the younger generation. It is simple very different from what it was for other generations. In simple words, this generation is being hit from all angles. Most politicians fail to see the struggle, or they are simply not in touch with reality out there. People are struggling to keep a roof over their head and put food on the table, even the most frugal people. Most of Americans are in survival mode. Many people are truly doing all they can, working all they can, and cutting costs as much as they can, and they are still not making it. The disparage and disproportion between wages, education, and labor is ridiculous. The middle class is slowly disappearing in this country. It is easy to put a blindfold and label a generation of being lazy without considering all factors and influences at play.
I have always been an observer by nature. How many times have I witnessed someone at the supermarket leave just a few groceries because the card did not take? How many times have I heard a mother tell her child, “Sorry honey, we don’t have enough for “this” today;” “this” being a food item, not a toy? How many times have I witnessed someone staring blank at the insane prices in the meat isle at the supermarket, a hopeless stare followed by bypassing the product section, or even putting groceries back? I can tell you more examples, from couples quietly arguing about food, to older people with less than five items in the food cart, oh, so much more. Food is a basic need, and people can’t even eat in what we call the richest country in the world. Many people are in denial, but that is just a coping mechanism when you are or are about to be in survival mode.
If you have ever been in survival mode and have come through, you know well that there is a lesson to be learned from all of it, and most likely, you recognize that lesson. Most likely, you come out with a sense of gratefulness, stronger, and wiser. Most likely, you have learned about yourself, your true self, and the things that are not to be taken for granted anymore. Most likely, there is a sense of renewal and hope, of clarity and inner peace, and a healthy dose of pride after surviving the event. Having experienced survival mode at one time in my life, I can say that faith is an important component to make it through, that is, faith in yourself, and faith in a higher power. Don’t forget to count your blessings because they are many, in any circumstance.
It is About Focus and Faith
While researching, I came across the following quote, which inspired this blogpost.
“Dictatorships are one-way streets. Democracy boasts two-way traffic.” Alberto Moravia
While reading the above quote, these poetic lines came to mind.
A People’s Will
Soaring above, keen eye, unsteady flight
Eagle must rest on steady land.
Time to choose,
One way street or two-way traffic.
Alberto Moravia was an Italian writer, whom I am not familiar with or have read any of his works; however, this quote stuck with me. It inspired the following.
Many times, people become discouraged by the current political environment. It might affect people in many different ways, whether mentally, emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. There are many things we cannot control directly; however, we can always control how we react to certain issues, events, and our environment. When we focus on what we can control in our daily lives, our focus change, and so does our response and attitude. What I write here, I have applied myself.
Here are examples of controllables. These controllables apply to many of the issues that we might be experiencing under less than pleasant conditions.
I can control,
A healthy diet and exercise
All my decisions
How I decide to start my day and end it
My thoughts
My spending
My relationship with God
My reaction to the people I interact with, or whom I choose to include in my circle
How I choose to view each challenge/problem
How I manage all my resources
How I choose to live my life
My degree of gratitude each day
What I give my time and effort to
The battles I choose to fight or not
How I view my space, my home, my possessions, with gratitude or not
How I value my life
The priorities and values I set daily
How I manage my time and money
My dreams
My expectations of myself, others, and life
The guilt I put on myself and others
What I let into my mind and space
The physical things I surround myself with
How I treat myself (level of respect, love and understanding) as well as others.
These are only a few controllables, but in my opinion and experience, the most important ones, and the ones that will help center our focus when times are not what we expect or desire.
On Creativity and Stereotypes
Must every criminal or drug lord last name be Diaz on TV shows? I am truly tired of it. Writers please, if you are creating a Hispanic/Latino character, there are more last names other than that one, I assure you. Show a little more creativity, please? Examples of these shows are Law and Order, The Closer, Major Crimes …
Why is this so bad? We learn in many ways, but one of these is by repetition and association. When we hear something over and over, we make a mental association, negative or positive, whether we realize it or not. Stereotypes have existed for as long as we have, I guess. Society has accepted many of these and therefore, help perpetuate these stereotypes. As writers, we owe to ourselves to put out our best work and not perpetuate many of these stereotypes. Sometimes, that will mean going against the grain or mainstream, but most of the time, it is taking the care and time to educate ourselves as much as we can on a topic, subject, culture … We can only do our best, and laziness falls short of it.
Yes, my last name is Diaz, and I assure you that I am not a criminal, I don’t use or deal drugs, and I won’t harm you in any way. So fellow writers, let our creativity shine, and let us break the chains that held our pen captive for so long.
Lost and Found
She stared at me, her semblance a bit familiar. She seemed a bit tired, a gaze serious enough for me to notice her. Her features spoke to me of olden days, her faint smile, of recognition. A kin allure of something once shared. I studied her face. She glanced back, truth or dare. Not until I journeyed deep into her eyes, did I truly see the woman in the mirror.
Ten Things I Would Tell My Young Self if I Could Go Back in Time
Rainy days make good thoughts. Sometimes, I go back in time and observe the younger version of me, through my memories. I can truly detach and see her with kinder eyes, every step, dreams, goals … through good times, not so good times, and even scary times. In times of wisdom, confusion, loss, fear, naiveté, and even doubt, of happiness and growth … In moments of pure bliss and in times of desperation but always striving for more. Then I think, if I could only go back and tell her; hence, the title of this blogpost. Although there is much more that I would tell her, here are ten things (me-truths) I would definitely tell her (in no particular chronological order).
You are never too little or too much; God made you with value for Him.
Life is not a race against time; it is a celebration of time, slow down a bit.
What you truly think of yourself is more important than what other people think of you; really, it is.
It is perfectly ok not to achieve the ideal of perfection because it is a lie.
Most so-called experts make it up as they go.
One day, you too will be old, in the blink of an eye.
Evil-intentioned people do exist in real life.
Religion is man-made, but Jesus is not.
Never hand off your agency to another; never!
God will never abandon you, no matter what.
What would you tell a younger version of you?
Reflections: One Day at a Time, One Step at a Time
One day at a time, one step at a time.
Life would be much more pleasant if we would live in that way. This is a lesson I learned later in life. In my younger years, multitasking and the idea of a “superwoman” who thrived on a crammed schedule and did everything to perfection was idealized. Many of us, gender aside, followed that way of living in our everyday interaction. I remember feeling “guilty” if I had “free time” to myself and even worrying that I were to become lazy if I indulged on even an hour of “unproductive” being. The years passed by, and I had become entrapped in one of the biggest lies Society sold me. When I think about it, that way of life was very materialistic in essence, even when I never saw myself as a materialistic person, on the contrary.
Today, I repeated this question, what is truly important to me? Throughout the years, the answer has been narrowed to include the issues at the core of my true values and loves. Today, I finally understand the meaning of living one day at a time, one step at a time, and from that realization, a sense of peace within that recognizes that life is not a race, and I don’t need trophies or crowns to validate my existence; God has already done so when He made me. It is beautiful to achieve dreams and to celebrate our achievements and of others as well, but not at the expense of living. The mere existence of achieving without the joy and beauty of living is contraindicating. Maybe Hans Christian Anderson understood this well.
“Just living is not enough, said the butterfly, one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” Hans Christian Anderson
Love and Light
Oval Circus
Oval Circus, a poem.
The false king,
in the oval circus vested
the wisdom from his jester
of his buffoon, discernment.
*
Countless clowns,
upside down crosses
the false king
amok runs his horses.
*
Puppets and pawns ignore disbelief
the circus on fire
the tarp breaks apart
the herald, breathes fire.
*
Paupers and peasants
observe with regret
the noise becomes louder
a voice screams, you’re jested!
Inkspeare 