She stared at me, her semblance a bit familiar. She seemed a bit tired, a gaze serious enough for me to notice her. Her features spoke to me of olden days, her faint smile, of recognition. A kin allure of something once shared. I studied her face. She glanced back, truth or dare. Not until I journeyed deep into her eyes, did I truly see the woman in the mirror.
The other day, I was minding my daily grind and an idea for a new novel came to mind, a good one, I thought. The idea presented itself as the beginning and ending of the story, nothing in between. I was busy, so I decided to write it down later on. Later on never came, and the whole idea went out of my mind; I simply cannot remember it. When it is gone, it is gone for good. This is something that I find happens more often as I age. Before, in my younger years, I would put the thought or idea on pause, and come back to it later. Not so anymore. That is why now it has to be written when it presents itself, otherwise it is lost forever, and forever is a long time.
As we age, our memory is a bit less reliable than it was in our younger years. We are not as quick and sharp as we used to be, and that happens to every person, to some more than others. After researching this topic for my own benefit, I decided to write this post. No matter how old we are, it is good to exercise the mind just as we exercise the body. It is common knowledge that exercising the body improves the mind function, and so does eating a healthy diet; so is leaving habits like smoking, alcohol, drugs, sugar …. Beyond that, what can a person do to improve brain function? Getting enough sleep and rest is another item in the commonsense bucket. Aside from those mentioned above, experts recommend social contact, mental activities that exercise the brain such as word puzzles, painting, drawing, manual dexterity activities, reading, jigsaw puzzles, learning something new … Eating nuts and seeds seems to be beneficial, and so is my favorite treat, dark chocolate. There are other foods that appear to boost your brain, and vitamins such as B6, B9, B12, are also beneficial. Some supplements are specific to brain health, and there is difference of opinion about that. Meditation and keeping a diary seem to help as well. All of the above things I do already, although I have to work on the “sweet tooth” a bit more.
All this information most of us know it by heart; it has been repeated over and over. I find that most times, I forget things when I am on automatic pilot and not being mindful of what I am doing. When I pay attention and focus on what is at hand, I feel more alert and conscious, even organized and with less brain fog. I guess use it or lose it is appropriate in this case. Long gone are the days.
I find myself at “that age,” when I finally feel that a bridge has been crossed, and the perspective from the other side of the bridge is very different from the side left behind. I can surely say that life takes a different meaning from that point of view. The things I wanted then are very different from the things I want now. One of “those things” that I have learned is to stop trying to “fix” people. What I thought in my younger years that people needed to hear, was not necessarily what needed to be said. Advice should not be given unless it is requested. Pretending to know what people need in their lives, how they should live or fix their problems, even when it is meant with a good heart, is wrong, especially when the advice isn’t requested. When we are young, we want to change the world and we might take that feeling and desire and translate it to offering wisdom from our “fresh” point of view, especially when the person is happy and satisfied with how a life is being lived. Why assume another person’s life is broken? Because it is not suitable to our standards? Why assume that our way is the only way, and the other person needs anything from us to be fulfilled, not left behind? Why “fix” their existence?
With age comes maturity. Many steps have been taken and the soles of one’s shoes are worn enough. I’ve stopped giving advice that is not solicited. I’ve stopped thinking that I have the right answer. I’ve learned that there is no need to prove a point, unless someone asks for my opinion. I’ve learned to love and shut up, to enjoy my way while accepting other people’s right to live their way without harming others, even when I don’t share their opinion of how they handle situations. There is a modern say, “You do you.” In a way, I understand it. It is not to say that I don’t care about what goes on, consequences, moral issues, the illnesses of a society … all of that is real, and needs to be addressed, first, in our life and circle, then by supporting the agencies that fight against the injustices and crimes committed in society, however, that is another subject, and very different from the topic of this article.
Crossing the bridge gave me a sense of peace and understanding of having been once at the other side. With peace comes understanding, with understanding, acceptance, with acceptance comes the realization that what I thought was good for me is not necessarily good for another in their own journey. Although many suggestions and opinions come from a place of love and genuine concern; however, it is not a “one fits all” reality. I might be hot-tempered at times, maybe somewhat opinionated, still dreaming of a better world, but no longer do I give or take unsolicited advice. The bridge has been crossed.
“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye but do not notice the log that is in your own eye.”
Matthew 7:3 ESV
I am fascinated by Death, as a character. I like Death as a neutral being, for lack of a better fitting word. Death has been misrepresented, or ill-presented. Death is the elephant in the room; no one wants to think or talk about it. When we think of Death, we do it in a negative way. Death is unfair, scary, sad, a punishment, evil … . We try to cheat Death; we want to live as long as we can. We become healthier, exercise, eat well, take vitamins … just to live longer, to avoid meeting with Death. We cling to youth in many ways (creams, Botox, plastic surgery …) because by growing old we think we become closer to Death, and that scares us.
In movies, the hero cheats Death, saves others, and beats Death. We dream of vampires, eternal life, and we rather turn into a werewolf than face Death. It is only when the Vampire or the Werewolf (or any other creature) represents the threat of death that we destroy it, and we cheer – ah, we are safe. We put people on Death row for a long time, as if the wait prolongs the suffering. Death doesn’t even have a face; it is represented as the ripper covered in a black-gray tunic who appears unexpected, uninvited, carrying its weapon of destruction. Even in suicide, the person does not embrace Death; instead, the person escapes life. However, Death doesn’t destroy at will (but we do); it doesn’t seem to have one. Death doesn’t take lives by choice (we do), and it doesn’t seem to enjoy its duty. Death only is, and it is always on time.
So this morning, as I pondered on this character who is so misunderstood and hated, I wrote Death a poem. Here it is, and I hope you enjoy it or at least that it gives you a different perspective.
Requiem
I do not belong
Nor do I seek.
Nor Heaven nor Hell
I wander the Earth.
Who am I?
Human at best?
Hint of divine?
Of evil a speck?
Of grace and humankind
The Earth is tired.
The ice a blanket throws
Blue hearts, frozen desires.
Divine, Evil, Human, morass.
Tired Earth Dooms Day awakes.
Melting core, frozen bones, at last
The apocalyptic boom, the end.
Nor who, nor what
Serving the times, perpetual task.
No will, no cry
Angel of Death, on time I am.
Inkspeare 