destiny

The Why to What?

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As I savor the last piece of my magical box of Turkish Delight, I happen to be thinking about a post I read earlier.  The post was about “what you really really really want,” and you can read about it in Ollin Morales blog – Courage 2 Create.  Well, right now what I really want is another box of Turkish Delight, but pondering about this issue prompted me to write this post.  I like to read books about positive thinking/attitude, setting goals … and so on.  Most of these books talk about how important and crucial it is to know your why, because without knowing your why, it will be very difficult to achieve your goals.  The Why is the real reason or motivator for you to do something or achieve what you want.  Thinking about Ollin’s post, I realized that the Why doesn’t matter so much if you don’t know or have a clear definition of “what you really really want.”  In other words, you have to know the What to be able to ponder and establish your true Why.

Unless you know your true What, your Why is useless.  To add to the dilemma, many times, you might think that what you want is a certain something, to later find out that you really didn’t want that at all, or maybe had to tweak your want a bit to realize that your Why was totally out of zinc with your What.  I don’t blame you if your head hurts by now, but life is complicated sometimes, or at least, our perception of it.  I have found that many times, my What (s) were totally wrong, and my Why (s) did not take me there; however, I found that it was all a process for me, and one that I had to undergo to be able to find my true What and Why.  Sometimes, the journey is a What in itself, and later, it becomes the Why, at least temporarily until you realize your true What and Why.

Don’t forget to check out Ollin’s post; you can find it by clicking here – http://ollinmorales.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/and-you-cant-pull-me-down/

 

 

The Theory of Possibility

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Deutsch: Ein Glas Milch English: A glass of mi...

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Revisited

The Theory of Possibility

 

I have adopted the philosophy that no one is 100% right – there are many possibilities and sides to a story or to a belief.  This has made me a better person.  I don’t have to judge and I don’t have to shove my beliefs up the throats of others; instead I agree to disagree and to value other points of view.  I am happier now.  I don’t have to turn blue to prove a point; instead, I just express it and let it go to do what it needs to do.

One day, I went to reach for a glass of milk but decided to drink peach juice instead.  It was a change that took a split of a second but got me thinking.  I was sure I wanted milk but instead ended up grabbing the peach juice.  What followed was enlightening, at least to me.  I understood that this world is made entirely of possibilities.  I understood that everything, absolutely everything is possible.  It takes a matter of less than a second for a possibility to become reality.  This changed my view of things.

I will go back to the milk and juice to illustrate the point.  In my mind, I wanted milk and went straight ahead to the refrigerator to get it.  From my point of view it was already something I would do, saw myself doing, but never materialized – it was a possibility.  Instead, another possibility presented itself – the peach juice – a possibility that was not in my mind a few seconds ago, when heading towards the refrigerator to get some milk.  This sudden change puzzled me to the point that I am writing this article.

Going back to the example, the second possibility became my reality, not the first and intended one.  I changed my mind in the split of a second, whether conscious of it or not, but it ended up shaping my reality.  This in my opinion was a powerful message.

Possibilities abound, they are just multidimensional, and so are we when we think of it in that sense.  Multiple realities – can that be possible?  You be the judge – I don’t judge anymore.

Vulcan Logic vs. The Secret

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Vulcan (Star Trek)
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This week I am revisiting some articles I wrote sometime ago.

Revisited – Vulcan Logic vs. The Secret

While watching a Star Trek movie the other day I heard Spock say one of his Vulcan logical statements:  “If you remove the impossible, what remains – even improbable, must then be the truth.”  When you look at the statement it truly makes sense.  This Vulcan philosophy presents a good logical explanation which can be applied to mostly any situation.  In our minds there is always a definition for what we consider impossible to be or to accomplish, and for every person this is different, given their current status, beliefs, cultural background, and financial/social position.  Therefore, everyone defines the impossible in their own way.  This presents a curious question:  what is truth for each one of us?  If we define the impossible in a unique perspective to our present situation, then by the same thinking process we must define truth in the same way.  According to Vulcan philosophy, “what remains must then be the truth” – when we eliminate the impossible – even if it is improbable.  This match of the Vulcan philosophy with our human way of defining the truth according to our own unique experience presents another interesting predicament:  logic vs. faith.

As humans we tend to have faith, to believe in the impossible or the improbable.  We put our faith in God, The Divine, and even in ourselves.  Atheists will put their faith in themselves or in some cases, science – for the sake of argument.  Most of us are familiar with The Ancient Law of Attraction, made known most recently by Rhonda Byrne and her bestseller “The Secret.”  According to this law, you can attract anything that you desire – positive or negative – to your life.  What you think, believe, speak and focus on, that is what you will attract.  It will materialize into your life because you are sending those vibrations back into the Universe; therefore, the Universe will respond back to you according to the energy sent.  So if you are a negative and fearful person you will encounter negative and unpleasant situations in your life.  The opposite is true if you are a positive person.  In simple words, it means, “what goes around comes around” – you get the idea.  According to the law of attraction EVERYTHING is possible.  This is an opposite view to the Vulcan philosophy and our human nature.  The Vulcan belief recognizes the impossible (we do to), the Secret philosophy or Law of attraction recognizes that anything and everything is possible.

We can do a reconciliation of this huge gap in beliefs by using the element of Faith to build a bridge.  Faith can be defined as the belief and certainty of what has not yet become.  By believing the impossible or the improbable to become true we are refuting Vulcan philosophy and human nature and accepting the law of attraction.  However if our faith is based on a negative perspective, then the impossible becomes reality.

Therefore, Logic, Human Nature, Faith, or Law of Attraction it is all up to you – what we may call Free Will – but that is another article.

Dreaming Your Reality

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Many times, we entertain fantasies of dreams and goals for the future, and we take them as far as we can in our minds.  The sad part is that as soon as we come back to reality, this is where it stops, and we delegate them to the file drawers of our mind, until we decide to fantasize again.  Why do we do this?  Is it because we think that there is no way we can reach our dreams and goals?  Or is it that the daily grinding puts a lid on our dreams?  Is life making it impossible for us to reach our dreams?  Living should be part of attaining those dreams; instead, we act as if by living the daily routine, we are removing ourselves from those same dreams and goals.  We end up adopting an “impossible” way of thinking, and instead, we replace our dreams with fantasizing about them.

The first step to achieve our dreams is to remove the word impossible from our vocabulary, and our minds, and from our belief system.  Let us adopt a different thinking.  What was one impossible becomes probable, then, it becomes possible, until it becomes a reality.  Many inventions have followed this path.  If we adopt this way of thinking, we will reach our dreams, turning them into probabilities, possibilities, and finally into reality.  This doesn’t mean that it will be an easy journey – it is different for every person and each person needs to learn the lessons in the process.  For some, it is faster than for others; it may even take an entire lifetime, for some.

When we give room to self-doubt and self-limiting assumptions, we are saying the word impossible, over and over, and we start to believe it.  Therefore, the next step is to remove the self-doubt and self-limiting assumptions that we entertain daily.

You can dream, but you have to be proactive at your dreaming.  To put it simple, you can dream that one day you will win the lottery, but if you never play a ticket, you are self-limiting yourself.  You are not acting on your dream.  What would someone think if you told them a hundred years ago that one day you would send them mail that will take seconds – you would probably use another way of expressing yourself, maybe by saying that you will one day send a letter that will take an instant to arrive.  They would have told you that time traveling is impossible or that you are going nuts; maybe even commit you.  An email makes this impossible possible.

This is just an example to illustrate that your dreams are not impossible; it is up to you to dream them into reality.  When you start working towards your dreams, step by step, little by little, as you make progress, they will start to look more real, more possible.  And don’t forget to send the naysayers an email when you get there.

When Quitting is the Right Option

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Stop

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I used to obsess about stuff – a book, a project …  By obsess I mean, that when I started something I had to finish it, no matter if I was enjoying it or not – in my mind, if I started, I must finish.  I read many books that I disliked or bored me to death, just because I started them.  Some people may think, “well that is not so bad; I wish I could finish stuff.”   It is bad when it sends you thru the path of a wrong career, and in the middle of your studies, you know it is the wrong path, but you keep on, because you started and must finish.  It is bad, when you doubt your instincts, your inner voice, because you must finish what you started, even when you know that may not be the right thing or path for you.  It is bad, when something that you enjoyed when you started it, does not fit your goals or persona anymore, but you must finish because you never leave things unfinished.

There are many instances when quitting is the right option, and maybe the only option, if you want to move ahead.  When something does not lift your spirit anymore and becomes a burden, maybe it is time to take a look and ask why?  Answering why is important because it will let you know if it is just a temporary stale situation, or if you have gone on the wrong direction, and must adjust your step, or stop walking on that direction entirely.  Sometimes, it is just a matter of perspective, and there is no need to quit; other times, quitting will be necessary for growth.

When I realized that doing something just for the sake of doing it, without meaning, without direction, without desire or passion, or without love, that is when I stopped reading the book that bored me half way, working at the wrong career, and just doing things that killed my spirit.  However, before you quit, you have to know your new direction, you have to know where you are headed, and be sure of the why; otherwise, you may regret it.

So, when is quitting the right option?  When you know that continuing in that path will only hurt your spirit, your self, your soul, and when you have the answer to the question Why? … and when you know that you have a sense of where your next path begins – even when sometimes, you may not know right away where it will take you.  However, before you quit, you must first turn around, and STOP!

Pairing Down to Discover Yourself

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The Queen of Hearts, from a 1901 edition of Mo...

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It started with a desire to de-clutter my surroundings and get rid of everything – this is when I knew that I was headed towards simplifying my life and spiritual transformation.  A friend once called me  “the queen of everything” since I loved everything charming and cozy and my home was resembling “The Brass Lantern” – a local store that is filled with the most precious trinkets and magical things, a favorite of both.

The desire for simplifying started in my closet, and moved on to the entire house, luckily coinciding with our decision to move to Virginia, to a simpler life, which made it easier to get rid of much stuff.  The result was – being able to pack everything we own in a medium size hauler, the kind you use for transporting one car, I think an 8×16 or so.  I was happy with that, but during the de-cluttering, I found myself longing for true purpose and undergoing a spiritual search – I’m still working on that.

During the process, I found a few things about the stuff I owned and its relation to the person I was becoming.  First, I was amazed at the amount of stuff I had, although my home has always been very organized and neat.  I learned  that you can have tons of clutter neatly organized.  Eddie has always been a minimalist, and I guess his love for me tolerated my insanity.  However, he discovered that he was getting attached to stuff, and had some issues with letting go of some of it.  My insanity silently had made its way to the minimalist I married over 24 years ago.

Second, I learned that much of that stuff was not me anymore, but I kept it throughout the years.  In a way, I had outgrown my possessions, and the stuff did not suit the persona anymore.

Third, knowing what I knew now, and the evolution I was undergoing – from Queen of everything to Princess of Bare to Basics – made it easier to get rid of much of my stuff – a ton of it.  Understanding that it was better to live surrounded by the things that I truly loved made it easier as well.  I only kept what I loved and had meaning and let the rest go.

If you find yourself on this path, it makes it easier when you approach the path to a simple life from the point of view of the new you and the relation of that persona to the things you own – this will lead you to keep the things that you truly love and are meaningful and get rid of the rest.

There is one organization that is in need of donations and you can schedule a pick up online – The United War Veterans Council (UWVC).  Their website to schedule a pick up is http://www.uwvcpickup.org/  and you can also call this number 1-888-821-UWVC(8982).   In that way, your pairing down serves a purpose as well.

Think, Speak, and Do, but Love

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Some people may not agree with me on this, but our entire existence is based on three words – Think, Speak, and Do.  These words shape our present, and with it, our past and future.  I have realized that where I am is a result of those three words.  What I think, and how I think has much input in how I conduct myself and in the way I choose to live my life.  What I think, is in part shaped by what I read, see, and entertain in my mind; however, my interpretation of it also bares weight. Visualization is rooted in what I think, so I better think positive to visualize a great future or outcome.  However, it goes deeper than that, because what I think and visualize NOW is what really counts.

What I speak, what comes out of my mouth, also shapes my present.  If I speak negativity, I should not expect positive results.  When I call myself dumb or idiot it is shaping the image that I have of myself and the one that I will present to the world.  The words that I utter, aloud or silently, are powerful.

What I do, the actions I take, are highly influenced by what I think and what I have spoken to myself or to others.  Action is always preceded by thought.  However, many times, it may seem as if we do the opposite – Do we really?

If I think and speak positive, I must still take action to be able to enjoy all the great opportunities coming my way, and grab them as they present themselves.  Think, Speak, and Do interrelate to shape my life.  However, there is a word that will change greatly what I think, speak, and do – LOVE.

When I think, speak, and do with Love, things take a different meaning.  Doing things lovingly really makes a different in how I view my day, my life.  This is why we hear people say, “Do what you love and you will be successful, the rest will come …”  This is why when I like something very much I say – “I love chocolate or coffee …” It is why we can say to our loved ones “I love you.”  I can think, speak, and do all the positivity until I am all pumped up to take on the world, however, if I don’t use a genuine loving approach, I can only go so far.

There was a time when I worried much about all kinds of things – career, money, knowledge, long to do lists, information, image … the list goes on and on.  One day, out of a series of unfortunate events, I realized that all it matter was how I dealt with that big four letter word during my existence – LOVE.  Now, I still care about those things, but in a loving way.

Memories of Sandy, the Black and White Pig

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Pig in Sno village

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Lately, Sandy has popped in my mind.  Sandy was a black and white pig with whom I had a childhood friendship.  I saw him grow up since he was a baby pig.  I have memories of conversations with Sandy; early in the morning I ran to his pen and talked to him.  The funny thing is that he seemed to listen, or at least I thought  he did – we had an understanding.

One morning, I went to say hello as usual, but Sandy wasn’t there.  I ran screaming to my grandmother, who told me he must have gone out at night.  I believed her.  The next day, I went to the local country store who was a few steps from home.  I used to run there barefooted at times – out of childhood laziness.  Since I knew the shop owner, I went thru the back entrance, sometimes.  That day, I did.  There, laying on the floor I saw my Sandy – he was dead, but I knew it was him.  I started screaming and crying, and they had to take me home.  They told me it wasn’t him, but I knew him well.  Those memories are so alive in my mind, and as I write this post, tears are flowing.

I write this post, first, because I realized that after more than 40 years, I have to let go of Sandy, and keep only the good memories.  Second, to let you know that you may have your own Sandy (whatever that may be), that needs closure – even when you don’t know it, or have not known it for many years.  If one day, you find yourself reminiscing about your own Sandy, don’t discard your memories as foolish, they popped up for a reason.  Reminisce and take care of some doors that have been left open for years.  Oil up the hinges and close them gently.  As artists, we don’t know what may hinder our creativity.

Today, as I write this post, I think of my beloved Sandy in a different way.

Is it Fear of Failure or Fear of Success?

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Figure 20 from Charles Darwin's The Expression...

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As artists/writers we have heard how important it is to learn to deal with rejection.  Simply, it is part of the path we take.  Many books have been written about rejection.  We recognize rejection as part of the growth process and almost embrace it.  However, we are not so happy with the concept of failure.  We avoid failure, we fear it, and we want no part of it.  The fear of failure is paralyzing for some people, for others, it may be the fuel that propels them to keep excelling at what they do – we react differently in various circumstances.  These people, whether paralyzed or excelling, have something in common – the fear of failure.  However, there is a third group, which I am very aware of, simply because I found myself in that group once.

This third group thinks that they are afraid of failure; however, this is not the case.  The real fear has been disguised as fear of failure, but on the contrary, it is not failure what this groups fear – it is success.  Fear of success can be as paralyzing as the fear to fail.

Fear of success may be a personal issue and rooted in your childhood, or on any other phase of your life.  It is very hard to spot, and that is why it may hide itself as fear of failure or even of rejection.  Fear of success may involve being afraid of new things or new responsibilities, or even of the spot light and recognition that comes with success, in many cases.  The issue is personal.  If you think that you are afraid of failure, ask yourself why.  Ask again, and again … until you can’t ask no more; the answer may surprise you, as it did me.

Once in the open, your fear has no where else to hide and you can look at it straight, understand it, accept it, and move on.  Once you do this, it will never have the power to paralyze you, because it has been exposed.

So, is it fear of failure or fear of success?

The binding of Age

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Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909.

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If you grew up as I did, most likely, you will have the imprinted belief that as soon as you hit 40, you are going down hill.  I have seen a few over the hill greeting cards that seem to cater to that frame of thought.  Believing that this is the case, is a very dangerous thing because it binds you to certain expectations throughout your life.  Certain things should have happened before you turned 45, and if they have not, most likely you will abandon certain goals, and will end up feeling a failure.  What a sick belief!

The truth is that no one knows how long they will live and most people may live to their late eighties.  In this case, being 40, for example, is having half or more of your life to live.  This is not the time to abandon goals or feeling as a failure; on the contrary, it is the time to make them real and with more “gusto” since you have already enjoyed many years of being traditionally “young.”

Age is in your mind;  it is a matter of how your mind is set and of how it has been programmed all these years.  Yes, there are some physical changes on the outside, but the “you” inside the shell knows better.  No one likes wrinkles or the physical changes that come with age; if they did, plastic surgery and beauty aides would not exist.  I myself, am not a fan of wrinkles.  However, I have met young people who act as 90 year olds, and 80 year olds who act as if they were 25.  For those 80 year olds that still see a bright life ahead of them, age is just a number, and age does not bind them to any “society expectations” – they are the masters of their lives.