evolution

Planning Your New Year – Resolution Solution

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The New Year is around the corner, and we start thinking about new goals, plans, starting anew, and the inevitable – all the goals that we set and did not accomplish.  We feel guilty, and at our worst, as failures.  So we take the pen and paper and start all over again, sometimes repeating the same goals – promising ourselves:  “this year for sure …”  I’ve been there.

Setting goals and naming things that we want to accomplish should not be a painful or shameful process.  It should be a guide, a road map of what we want to do and where we want to end up.  But goals should be realistic and measurable.  Just saying: “I want to lose weight” is not enough.  Instead, go thru a series of questions like:  how many pounds, how, when will I schedule the how, and most important – why?  Why do I want to lose the weight?  Your motivator is your best weapon.  If you don’t know your why, most likely, another year will pass, with no results.  This formula should be applied to every goal or project that you plan for the New Year.

Take a planner or your PC and schedule in your goals, daily, weekly, or however you figured out that you will work at them throughout the entire year.  If you have a reminder every day of your goal schedule, then it is likely that you will work at them with more enthusiasm and determination.  Set an automatic reminder in your PC.  The list of goals written on December 31st is not enough – it has to be planned.

Start thinking realistically of the things that you want to accomplish this coming year; make your list, but don’t stop there – map out a schedule to make them real.  At the end of the year, even if some of them did not work out, most will – and you will feel better and more productive.  I find that by doing this, by the end of the year I see that I have crossed out a good part of my list.  Some goals are still there, but I am a few steps closer to them, and I can always continue to work on them.

One thing that I have observed in some people if that they take their goals as written in stone and will not deviate, even when there is a need for some modification.  Many times a goal is missed just because of this, which is ironic.  In addition, goals should be taken as a guide to where we want to be and not as a horse blinder that will prevent us to enjoy the scenery in the process.  It is good to set some goals but it is also good to leave some room for flexibility, change, and modification.

Happy New Year Planning!

When Quitting is the Right Option

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I used to obsess about stuff – a book, a project …  By obsess I mean, that when I started something I had to finish it, no matter if I was enjoying it or not – in my mind, if I started, I must finish.  I read many books that I disliked or bored me to death, just because I started them.  Some people may think, “well that is not so bad; I wish I could finish stuff.”   It is bad when it sends you thru the path of a wrong career, and in the middle of your studies, you know it is the wrong path, but you keep on, because you started and must finish.  It is bad, when you doubt your instincts, your inner voice, because you must finish what you started, even when you know that may not be the right thing or path for you.  It is bad, when something that you enjoyed when you started it, does not fit your goals or persona anymore, but you must finish because you never leave things unfinished.

There are many instances when quitting is the right option, and maybe the only option, if you want to move ahead.  When something does not lift your spirit anymore and becomes a burden, maybe it is time to take a look and ask why?  Answering why is important because it will let you know if it is just a temporary stale situation, or if you have gone on the wrong direction, and must adjust your step, or stop walking on that direction entirely.  Sometimes, it is just a matter of perspective, and there is no need to quit; other times, quitting will be necessary for growth.

When I realized that doing something just for the sake of doing it, without meaning, without direction, without desire or passion, or without love, that is when I stopped reading the book that bored me half way, working at the wrong career, and just doing things that killed my spirit.  However, before you quit, you have to know your new direction, you have to know where you are headed, and be sure of the why; otherwise, you may regret it.

So, when is quitting the right option?  When you know that continuing in that path will only hurt your spirit, your self, your soul, and when you have the answer to the question Why? … and when you know that you have a sense of where your next path begins – even when sometimes, you may not know right away where it will take you.  However, before you quit, you must first turn around, and STOP!

Pairing Down to Discover Yourself

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The Queen of Hearts, from a 1901 edition of Mo...

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It started with a desire to de-clutter my surroundings and get rid of everything – this is when I knew that I was headed towards simplifying my life and spiritual transformation.  A friend once called me  “the queen of everything” since I loved everything charming and cozy and my home was resembling “The Brass Lantern” – a local store that is filled with the most precious trinkets and magical things, a favorite of both.

The desire for simplifying started in my closet, and moved on to the entire house, luckily coinciding with our decision to move to Virginia, to a simpler life, which made it easier to get rid of much stuff.  The result was – being able to pack everything we own in a medium size hauler, the kind you use for transporting one car, I think an 8×16 or so.  I was happy with that, but during the de-cluttering, I found myself longing for true purpose and undergoing a spiritual search – I’m still working on that.

During the process, I found a few things about the stuff I owned and its relation to the person I was becoming.  First, I was amazed at the amount of stuff I had, although my home has always been very organized and neat.  I learned  that you can have tons of clutter neatly organized.  Eddie has always been a minimalist, and I guess his love for me tolerated my insanity.  However, he discovered that he was getting attached to stuff, and had some issues with letting go of some of it.  My insanity silently had made its way to the minimalist I married over 24 years ago.

Second, I learned that much of that stuff was not me anymore, but I kept it throughout the years.  In a way, I had outgrown my possessions, and the stuff did not suit the persona anymore.

Third, knowing what I knew now, and the evolution I was undergoing – from Queen of everything to Princess of Bare to Basics – made it easier to get rid of much of my stuff – a ton of it.  Understanding that it was better to live surrounded by the things that I truly loved made it easier as well.  I only kept what I loved and had meaning and let the rest go.

If you find yourself on this path, it makes it easier when you approach the path to a simple life from the point of view of the new you and the relation of that persona to the things you own – this will lead you to keep the things that you truly love and are meaningful and get rid of the rest.

There is one organization that is in need of donations and you can schedule a pick up online – The United War Veterans Council (UWVC).  Their website to schedule a pick up is http://www.uwvcpickup.org/  and you can also call this number 1-888-821-UWVC(8982).   In that way, your pairing down serves a purpose as well.

Simply Human

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"Skeleton of human (1) and gorilla (2), u...

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The title of this post came to me after opening the lid of the trash can in the kitchen – the brand is simplehuman.  When I glanced at it, this question came to mind, What is to be simply human?  We belong to the human species on this planet, and we live among many other species.  Just as elephants are pachyderms, we are human.  Unfortunately, over the years, the term human has been associated with mistake, error, shame, and a negative connotation.  When we make a mistake we tend to say, “Well, I’m only human or I am simply human.”

I have said that in many occasions, and it wasn’t until today that I got to think about what I was saying.  By saying the phrase, I was giving a negative meaning to my species.  Not on purpose, I was saying that being a human was being less than … far away from perfection, and I was using the word human as a crutch.  A crutch to justify mistakes and not performing up to my potential.  I think that the reason we think of ourselves, as humans, as something far away from beauty, has to do with a philosophic and religious influence throughout the ages, starting with the original sin and Adan and Eve story.  It also has to do with us comparing ourselves to the perfection of divinity.

On the contrary, implying that God or a Creator (if you believe in such) made a beautiful species, capable of many great and not so great deeds, would liberate us of the “simply human” negative connotation.  If you are an atheist, you may see the beauty of our species, and the greatness of our kind.  We can learn that there is no need for excuses in our journey to achieve our potential, and for many who believe, like me, on a divine purpose, to fulfill such.  Whether you believe in God or not, you may find yourself thinking of your humanity as an excuse.  It doesn’t matter if you are an atheist or if you believe in a Creator, you belong to the human species, and this puts you on the same level as any other human being.  What you do with your life – with your human existence is up to you.

Today, thanks to my trash can, I stop saying that I am “Simply Human,” because I know I am much more than that.

The Power of Change

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I have met people who do not like change.  They simply don’t like things around them to be different, whether change is for the better or not.  There is risk in change – the unknown.  For some people, this is scary; simply put, they prefer the known to the unknown.  The known comforts them.

I welcome change, whether good or bad, if there is such a thing as bad change.  I believe that when we see our circumstances to be changing for the worst, it is just a matter of perception.  Change always bring something new and different.  With this, it brings the opportunity for new challenges, growth, and new lessons.  It brings the chance – requested or unrequested – of creating something new of the experience or change.  In a way, change is creation.  Change is always forward, even when it is perceived as a step backwards.

Some people may disagree with me on this.  For example, if you were to lose everything you own, you would perceive this as a negative change in your life.  However, this could be the best opportunity for you to start anew, to create a second life, an exciting opportunity.  Yes, no one thinks of being in that situation, and I don’t know of anyone that would consciously welcome it; however, many people in today’s economy have gone thru similar change.  The perception of this change is what will make them powerless or powerful individuals.  This is the power of change.

Turning Point

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It took some time to master the courage to follow my dream of writing – and going through many jobs as well.  There are three things that I love – Writing, Real Estate, and Art – of this I am sure.  Writing is me, Real Estate is pure beauty, and Art is an outlet.

When I decided to write, my goal was to write my first novel.  I am happy to say that I did that and I started my second novel.  During that time, I got distracted doing other assignments – all related to my love of writing –  however, this has taken me away from my dream of becoming a novelist and it has taken all my time, leaving me with little time to write my next novel.

It dawned on me that  I had deviated from my dream and that I was at a turning point – I realized that I had to turn back.  Many times, we set sail on the right path to later discover that we have deviated from it doing something similar to what we were set out to do in the beginning.  Once more, we find ourselves mustering the courage to turn back, and setting up the sails to a different wind.

Roses by Magic

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A rose bush.

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Sitting at my computer for long hours is a bit tiring, so I try to walk around the house, for short breaks or to get some  coffee.  Today, I glanced outside thru the screen door that leads to the backyard.  I was pleasantly surprised to see the rose-bush full of dark red roses – a magical blanket of red.  When did it happen?  As if by magic, the rose-bush that was just sticks a few weeks ago, turned into a marvel of nature.  Although I was not paying attention, the change did not happen from one day to the next – it took some time; slowly the lush leaves appeared, and later, the breathtaking roses.

This gave me some insight.  I thought, sometimes, we worry so much when we are following our call, specially when we don’t see results right away.  We tend to shrivel, to dry, and forget that the growth happens slowly; and just as those roses one day appeared in all their splendor, so it will happen if we continue our path and let growth and bloom happen naturally.

Me Who, What, Huh?

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I guess it happens in your early forties, but suddenly, you find yourself questioning everything around you – the universe, society, career, friendships … and how you have lived your entire life.  The only thing not being questioned is family – because you are stuck with it.  Somehow, nothing seems to make sense, or at least, have the same meaning it had.  It could be a dramatic experience for many, or an exciting period in your life.  You can analyze everything to exhaustion and become depressed, or you can just enjoy the sudden jolt of enlightenment that seems to break you in  halves.

Eventually, like everything, it will pass, and you will emerge once more.  Depending on what you made of the experience, you will emerge strong or vulnerable – but no matter what, it is still you.  I am convinced that midlife crisis happens for a reason – it is necessary to ground you once more,  just as the “terrible twos” or the “challenging teens.”  Will it happen around your sixties, eighties …?  Who knows.  Me Who, What, Huh?

Shakespeare a Day 17

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“This above all; to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” – Hamlet

True words, as it is hard to be false to the world when we are true to ourselves.  When we experience many back stabs in the course of our lives, we might tend to become a bit skeptical about trusting people; however, this is not the way to live fully, as it denies the essence of Love.  By being true to yourself and putting out the best of you, the ball ends up on the other’s court – even when you experience deceit, you are at peace with yourself.  In this world, the good and the bad coexists, and sometimes, wolves wear sheep’s attire – the only weapon against that is the satisfaction of being true to yourself.