existence

Think, Speak, and Do, but Love

/ inkspeare

Some people may not agree with me on this, but our entire existence is based on three words – Think, Speak, and Do.  These words shape our present, and with it, our past and future.  I have realized that where I am is a result of those three words.  What I think, and how I think has much input in how I conduct myself and in the way I choose to live my life.  What I think, is in part shaped by what I read, see, and entertain in my mind; however, my interpretation of it also bares weight. Visualization is rooted in what I think, so I better think positive to visualize a great future or outcome.  However, it goes deeper than that, because what I think and visualize NOW is what really counts.

What I speak, what comes out of my mouth, also shapes my present.  If I speak negativity, I should not expect positive results.  When I call myself dumb or idiot it is shaping the image that I have of myself and the one that I will present to the world.  The words that I utter, aloud or silently, are powerful.

What I do, the actions I take, are highly influenced by what I think and what I have spoken to myself or to others.  Action is always preceded by thought.  However, many times, it may seem as if we do the opposite – Do we really?

If I think and speak positive, I must still take action to be able to enjoy all the great opportunities coming my way, and grab them as they present themselves.  Think, Speak, and Do interrelate to shape my life.  However, there is a word that will change greatly what I think, speak, and do – LOVE.

When I think, speak, and do with Love, things take a different meaning.  Doing things lovingly really makes a different in how I view my day, my life.  This is why we hear people say, “Do what you love and you will be successful, the rest will come …”  This is why when I like something very much I say – “I love chocolate or coffee …” It is why we can say to our loved ones “I love you.”  I can think, speak, and do all the positivity until I am all pumped up to take on the world, however, if I don’t use a genuine loving approach, I can only go so far.

There was a time when I worried much about all kinds of things – career, money, knowledge, long to do lists, information, image … the list goes on and on.  One day, out of a series of unfortunate events, I realized that all it matter was how I dealt with that big four letter word during my existence – LOVE.  Now, I still care about those things, but in a loving way.

Memories of Sandy, the Black and White Pig

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Pig in Sno village

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Lately, Sandy has popped in my mind.  Sandy was a black and white pig with whom I had a childhood friendship.  I saw him grow up since he was a baby pig.  I have memories of conversations with Sandy; early in the morning I ran to his pen and talked to him.  The funny thing is that he seemed to listen, or at least I thought  he did – we had an understanding.

One morning, I went to say hello as usual, but Sandy wasn’t there.  I ran screaming to my grandmother, who told me he must have gone out at night.  I believed her.  The next day, I went to the local country store who was a few steps from home.  I used to run there barefooted at times – out of childhood laziness.  Since I knew the shop owner, I went thru the back entrance, sometimes.  That day, I did.  There, laying on the floor I saw my Sandy – he was dead, but I knew it was him.  I started screaming and crying, and they had to take me home.  They told me it wasn’t him, but I knew him well.  Those memories are so alive in my mind, and as I write this post, tears are flowing.

I write this post, first, because I realized that after more than 40 years, I have to let go of Sandy, and keep only the good memories.  Second, to let you know that you may have your own Sandy (whatever that may be), that needs closure – even when you don’t know it, or have not known it for many years.  If one day, you find yourself reminiscing about your own Sandy, don’t discard your memories as foolish, they popped up for a reason.  Reminisce and take care of some doors that have been left open for years.  Oil up the hinges and close them gently.  As artists, we don’t know what may hinder our creativity.

Today, as I write this post, I think of my beloved Sandy in a different way.

Is it Fear of Failure or Fear of Success?

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Figure 20 from Charles Darwin's The Expression...

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As artists/writers we have heard how important it is to learn to deal with rejection.  Simply, it is part of the path we take.  Many books have been written about rejection.  We recognize rejection as part of the growth process and almost embrace it.  However, we are not so happy with the concept of failure.  We avoid failure, we fear it, and we want no part of it.  The fear of failure is paralyzing for some people, for others, it may be the fuel that propels them to keep excelling at what they do – we react differently in various circumstances.  These people, whether paralyzed or excelling, have something in common – the fear of failure.  However, there is a third group, which I am very aware of, simply because I found myself in that group once.

This third group thinks that they are afraid of failure; however, this is not the case.  The real fear has been disguised as fear of failure, but on the contrary, it is not failure what this groups fear – it is success.  Fear of success can be as paralyzing as the fear to fail.

Fear of success may be a personal issue and rooted in your childhood, or on any other phase of your life.  It is very hard to spot, and that is why it may hide itself as fear of failure or even of rejection.  Fear of success may involve being afraid of new things or new responsibilities, or even of the spot light and recognition that comes with success, in many cases.  The issue is personal.  If you think that you are afraid of failure, ask yourself why.  Ask again, and again … until you can’t ask no more; the answer may surprise you, as it did me.

Once in the open, your fear has no where else to hide and you can look at it straight, understand it, accept it, and move on.  Once you do this, it will never have the power to paralyze you, because it has been exposed.

So, is it fear of failure or fear of success?

The binding of Age

/ inkspeare
Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909.

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If you grew up as I did, most likely, you will have the imprinted belief that as soon as you hit 40, you are going down hill.  I have seen a few over the hill greeting cards that seem to cater to that frame of thought.  Believing that this is the case, is a very dangerous thing because it binds you to certain expectations throughout your life.  Certain things should have happened before you turned 45, and if they have not, most likely you will abandon certain goals, and will end up feeling a failure.  What a sick belief!

The truth is that no one knows how long they will live and most people may live to their late eighties.  In this case, being 40, for example, is having half or more of your life to live.  This is not the time to abandon goals or feeling as a failure; on the contrary, it is the time to make them real and with more “gusto” since you have already enjoyed many years of being traditionally “young.”

Age is in your mind;  it is a matter of how your mind is set and of how it has been programmed all these years.  Yes, there are some physical changes on the outside, but the “you” inside the shell knows better.  No one likes wrinkles or the physical changes that come with age; if they did, plastic surgery and beauty aides would not exist.  I myself, am not a fan of wrinkles.  However, I have met young people who act as 90 year olds, and 80 year olds who act as if they were 25.  For those 80 year olds that still see a bright life ahead of them, age is just a number, and age does not bind them to any “society expectations” – they are the masters of their lives.

The Power of Change

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Cover page cuverture Turning the Tide On Clima...

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I have met people who do not like change.  They simply don’t like things around them to be different, whether change is for the better or not.  There is risk in change – the unknown.  For some people, this is scary; simply put, they prefer the known to the unknown.  The known comforts them.

I welcome change, whether good or bad, if there is such a thing as bad change.  I believe that when we see our circumstances to be changing for the worst, it is just a matter of perception.  Change always bring something new and different.  With this, it brings the opportunity for new challenges, growth, and new lessons.  It brings the chance – requested or unrequested – of creating something new of the experience or change.  In a way, change is creation.  Change is always forward, even when it is perceived as a step backwards.

Some people may disagree with me on this.  For example, if you were to lose everything you own, you would perceive this as a negative change in your life.  However, this could be the best opportunity for you to start anew, to create a second life, an exciting opportunity.  Yes, no one thinks of being in that situation, and I don’t know of anyone that would consciously welcome it; however, many people in today’s economy have gone thru similar change.  The perception of this change is what will make them powerless or powerful individuals.  This is the power of change.

Designing Your Life Map

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A treasure map

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I have to admit that I love lists.  Yeah, I make all kinds of lists.  Therefore, to me, goal setting comes natural, it’s been like that for long.  I find that most things that I put in writing somehow get done, or play it that way – even when I think I have forgotten about them.  One thing that I have indulged on recently, is creating a life map.  This is not with the purpose of tracking or carving each step on stone, but more as a fun way to visualize the things that I would like to carry out and showcase my interests at a particular stage of life.  We all know that interests change and it is important to allow these changes.

Your life map can be an inspirational tool and it can include pictures or take the shape of an actual map that you create – this is the fun part.  It can also follow a timeline or a series of steps – just as a treasure map would.  I find it makes goal setting more interesting and helps you focus as you look at it everyday and see the big picture plastered in front of you.  It is the inspiration to do what you have to do everyday – what you know you have to do – even when people around you may not understand it as you do.

Next time you sit down to check or write some goals , try this method and see how you like it.

Turning Point

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LesCorsetsLeFuretParis18cutB

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It took some time to master the courage to follow my dream of writing – and going through many jobs as well.  There are three things that I love – Writing, Real Estate, and Art – of this I am sure.  Writing is me, Real Estate is pure beauty, and Art is an outlet.

When I decided to write, my goal was to write my first novel.  I am happy to say that I did that and I started my second novel.  During that time, I got distracted doing other assignments – all related to my love of writing –  however, this has taken me away from my dream of becoming a novelist and it has taken all my time, leaving me with little time to write my next novel.

It dawned on me that  I had deviated from my dream and that I was at a turning point – I realized that I had to turn back.  Many times, we set sail on the right path to later discover that we have deviated from it doing something similar to what we were set out to do in the beginning.  Once more, we find ourselves mustering the courage to turn back, and setting up the sails to a different wind.

Roses by Magic

/ inkspeare
A rose bush.

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Sitting at my computer for long hours is a bit tiring, so I try to walk around the house, for short breaks or to get some  coffee.  Today, I glanced outside thru the screen door that leads to the backyard.  I was pleasantly surprised to see the rose-bush full of dark red roses – a magical blanket of red.  When did it happen?  As if by magic, the rose-bush that was just sticks a few weeks ago, turned into a marvel of nature.  Although I was not paying attention, the change did not happen from one day to the next – it took some time; slowly the lush leaves appeared, and later, the breathtaking roses.

This gave me some insight.  I thought, sometimes, we worry so much when we are following our call, specially when we don’t see results right away.  We tend to shrivel, to dry, and forget that the growth happens slowly; and just as those roses one day appeared in all their splendor, so it will happen if we continue our path and let growth and bloom happen naturally.

On Being Your Own Cheerleader

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Many times, people find themselves in a sea of uncertainty about their dreams and goals.  Many times, the uncertainty comes from outside sources – from the naysayers that have managed to bury the seed of doubt in the dreamer’s heart.  If you are a dreamer that is working hard towards the goal, it is up to you to toughen up and grow some roses in your heart – their thorns will suffocate the weed that is trying to grow from the seed that naysayers planted there.

Many times, you will have to be your own cheerleader, maybe even the only one.  When others fail you, you can always count on you.  But when you feel as if you have failed yourself, it is because you have let many weeds grow in the garden of your heart.  Start weeding out and you will find again your dream.

Technology – Big Brother or Big Sister?

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Security camera at London (Heathrow) Airport. ...

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Much has been said about Big Brother, surveillance, and the intrusion of others in our private lives.  However, must of us embrace technology, and the latest fun and new gadgets in the market.  We play with them, we love them, get mad at them when they don’t work properly or when we don’t know how to use them, can’t live with them, can’t live without them …

From chips in cell phones that can track our every move, to surveillance cameras in the streets, to chips that can store our likes and dislikes and cater to our whims by sending just the right advertising piece, … we are being watched, like it or not.  However, it is not the feeling of distrust that Big Brother suggests, but more like the Big Sister that protect us, likes us, and to whom we look up to.  We embrace her, we play with her, we love her, and we get mad at her sometimes, but soon we forget.  Technology has become our Big Sister.