Goal setting

What Motivates You?

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Everything is a system that interrelates.

The first month of a new year is when many people look for motivation in order to set new goals and have a “fresh start.” Although goal setting is a healthy practice, when we do not feel motivated enough, this practice might seem daunting or even hopeless. What motivates us?

Motivation – To stir to action; provide with a motive. (American Heritage Dictionary)

Enthusiasm for doing something; the need or reason for doing something; willingness to do something, or something that causes such willingness. (Cambridge Dictionary)

Both definitions above point to a need, a reason, a motive, to create the enthusiasm to move into action. In other words, without motive there is no action. What motivates us? What stirs the hope that causes us to set goals and a plan? Sometimes, we confuse our goal with our why, or vice versa, and sometimes we focus so much on the reason or the goal that we miss an important point – that we are a system, and everything is a system that interrelates.

It is no wonder then, that we feel defeated, tired, and guilty when we fail to perform, or we do not achieve our goals. We blame and chastise ourselves and we end up feeling defeated, sad, depressed… When we see and realize the complexity and beauty of our being, it becomes harder for us to be so harsh with ourselves and with others, but also, we learn to view ourselves and others with kindness, but most important, as a part of everything else. It is with this new vision that we can find the motivation to dream again, to desire again, to strive and understand the why that will determine the goals that we want to achieve. Suddenly, the why and the goals are just a small part of a bigger existence.

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:14

The Life that We Dream

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“I’m standing here in summer sun, where rabbits hide, and small quail run… I listen to the prairie’s song in every breeze that comes along.” – Betty Lou Hebert, “Prairie Gentian.”

In our youth, we imagine life turning out a certain way; we are full of dreams and less experienced. We set out to conquer the world. As we mature, experiences, good and bad, have placed some weight on us, influenced our desires and dreams, and our footsteps hold firmly to the ground. Steps become steadier and more careful, less rushed, and bit more planned. Some of us find ourselves living the life we dreamed, while some of us might not, and others might be half-way there. For many of us, the life that we dreamed once might not be the life that we want to live now. Whatever the case might be, dreams remain. The adage, “When you stop dreaming you stop living,” might have a bit of truth.

From small dreams to larger dreams, it all seems to propel us forward in life, whether we want a fancy life or a simpler life. There are setbacks, new dreams, and things don’t always turn out the way we dreamed or planned for, but this doesn’t diminish the preciousness of life, and each day presents a new opportunity to dream again; each day, an opportunity to do a bit better than we did yesterday. After all, and on the way to a dream, we become our own judges, that is, in relation to our dreams in life.

What does a 90-year-old person dreams of? Maybe what we all seem to take for granted – to enjoy another day. What does a person with a terminal illness dreams of? Maybe for one more day amongst friends and loved ones. A person contemplating suicide? Perhaps for a better day, each day. In the end, no matter what one’s dreams were about or how these turned out, we seem to ask for one more day. In perspective, that is all we have, one day at a time.

Photo by M.A.D.

A New Page

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New Year, new page. The arrival of a new year is an exciting time. It signifies a new beginning, a clean slate, a new page, a new opportunity to do the things we could not accomplish the past year; it is a chance to do better. We reflect on the past year and make new goals, new plans. Dream new dreams. Look into the future. A new year is full of new expectations and good wishes. Overall, we welcome a new year with a sense of hope and joy. There is something special about receiving the new year – a sense of renewal. I thought about it the other day, as I looked back at all this year brought into my life, and also, at what it took away. I realized that every single day offers this same opportunity of renewal. When we first open our eyes each day, it is a new slate, the chance of a new beginning, to do better than yesterday. Until next year.

Happy New Day! Happy New Year!

Inkspeare

Photo by M.A.D.

Breaking a Lifetime Tradition

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December is almost here. For me, it always meant a time for reflection, introspection, rating of my performance, and goal setting or resetting. Over the years, for most of my adult life, and even younger, I followed the tradition of setting New Year goals. I enjoyed the process. Hot cocoa at hand, pen and paper, I would sit and think of the present year, review past goals, and silently rate my performance. I was good at keeping what I set to do, and I accomplished most goals. However, I was disappointed for what I didn’t do. It felt as if I came short of something. It always left me with an incomplete feeling, and even a bit of sadness. Then, I would decide if to include those unmet goals for the new year along with new ones. I would finish my cocoa, and be ready for a fresh start.

I changed all that. I don’t set goals quite like that anymore. Call it wisdom in aging, or whatever, I don’t rate my performance anymore. Instead, I’ve decided to think of the “meaningful thing” that I would like to do for the new year, whether it is only one thing or more. As far as planning for it, the only planning I will do is to make sure that everyday I try to take a step in that direction, and leave the lists, rating, and self-judging to the side. Discarded are the breaking into small manageable goals rituals, as well as written tasks, along with the self-reviews. Either I am on track to do a meaningful thing (to me) or I am not. Breaking a lifetime tradition is never easy, but it is as simple as that.

A Year of Reinvention

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December is approaching and I dance with the idea; it is my favorite month.  Many a reason for it – the holiday season, the end of the year, a beginning to a brand new year is near, the festive air, crisp cold, the towns getting dressed up, the spirit throughout, flurries … and much more.

For me, it is the time to review this year and meditate about what when on, the goals I achieved, the ones I did not, and time for reflection, much reflection.  It is a time to pick up my journal, a new calendar, and think of how I can make next year better.  Although it is always a bit disappointing to stare at the goals that did not come true, on the other hand, it is rewarding to look at the ones that did become real.  Somehow, it makes me happy to see that I worked towards something throughout the year, something that when I put it on paper on December of the previous year, may not have seemed so real or attainable.  I invite you to try this, even if it is one or two things in your list.  I have learned to call them predictions for the new year, predictions of the things that I will carry out on that year, or at least, that will take me a few steps closer to a goal.  It is a practice that I started years ago, and it works for me.  Looking at the end of the year, I can see where my heart was at the end of the previous one, and how I evolved on the issues that seemed important to me, and the things that I wanted in my future.  Sometimes, I am pleasantly surprised to know that I made it through that year, and most of the things on that list, were accomplished.  Other times, I see that half of them were not, and then, I can ponder why – this always leads to some insight, sometimes, realizing that in truth, it was not what I wanted, but I thought that I wanted at that time.  This is why I call it my time for reinvention.

Reinventing myself small steps at a time works for me better than setting out sails for a huge journey, which can seem daunting, exhausting, and many times an illusion.  Setting goals every December, and working on those throughout the year, keeps the journey real, and manageable – less intimidating.  It is part of the big journey.  In retrospect, it is very hard to feel that I “wasted a year”  if I go back and see all the progress that I made, and how I worked towards the goals that were on that list – even when I may have not hit the mark with a particular item in the list.

I am ready to make my predictions for the new year, and work hard to make them true.  Do you plan or set goals for the new year?  Feel free to share your method.

Designing Your Life Map

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A treasure map

Image via Wikipedia

I have to admit that I love lists.  Yeah, I make all kinds of lists.  Therefore, to me, goal setting comes natural, it’s been like that for long.  I find that most things that I put in writing somehow get done, or play it that way – even when I think I have forgotten about them.  One thing that I have indulged on recently, is creating a life map.  This is not with the purpose of tracking or carving each step on stone, but more as a fun way to visualize the things that I would like to carry out and showcase my interests at a particular stage of life.  We all know that interests change and it is important to allow these changes.

Your life map can be an inspirational tool and it can include pictures or take the shape of an actual map that you create – this is the fun part.  It can also follow a timeline or a series of steps – just as a treasure map would.  I find it makes goal setting more interesting and helps you focus as you look at it everyday and see the big picture plastered in front of you.  It is the inspiration to do what you have to do everyday – what you know you have to do – even when people around you may not understand it as you do.

Next time you sit down to check or write some goals , try this method and see how you like it.