Think, Speak, and Do, but Love

Some people may not agree with me on this, but our entire existence is based on three words – Think, Speak, and Do.  These words shape our present, and with it, our past and future.  I have realized that where I am is a result of those three words.  What I think, and how I think has much input in how I conduct myself and in the way I choose to live my life.  What I think, is in part shaped by what I read, see, and entertain in my mind; however, my interpretation of it also bares weight. Visualization is rooted in what I think, so I better think positive to visualize a great future or outcome.  However, it goes deeper than that, because what I think and visualize NOW is what really counts.

What I speak, what comes out of my mouth, also shapes my present.  If I speak negativity, I should not expect positive results.  When I call myself dumb or idiot it is shaping the image that I have of myself and the one that I will present to the world.  The words that I utter, aloud or silently, are powerful.

What I do, the actions I take, are highly influenced by what I think and what I have spoken to myself or to others.  Action is always preceded by thought.  However, many times, it may seem as if we do the opposite – Do we really?

If I think and speak positive, I must still take action to be able to enjoy all the great opportunities coming my way, and grab them as they present themselves.  Think, Speak, and Do interrelate to shape my life.  However, there is a word that will change greatly what I think, speak, and do – LOVE.

When I think, speak, and do with Love, things take a different meaning.  Doing things lovingly really makes a different in how I view my day, my life.  This is why we hear people say, “Do what you love and you will be successful, the rest will come …”  This is why when I like something very much I say – “I love chocolate or coffee …” It is why we can say to our loved ones “I love you.”  I can think, speak, and do all the positivity until I am all pumped up to take on the world, however, if I don’t use a genuine loving approach, I can only go so far.

There was a time when I worried much about all kinds of things – career, money, knowledge, long to do lists, information, image … the list goes on and on.  One day, out of a series of unfortunate events, I realized that all it matter was how I dealt with that big four letter word during my existence – LOVE.  Now, I still care about those things, but in a loving way.

Why I Don’t Care About Winning an Argument

I-disagree-with-u

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There was a time when I used to get blue in the face defending an argument; I don’t anymore.  Why?  Because first, I am not a lawyer nor do I enter any debating contests; therefore, it doesn’t make a difference to me.  Personal arguments do not take my energy anymore and this is why.

  1. People’s beliefs vary – In the old days, I was trying to convince people of accepting or adopting my belief.  The agenda was set wrong since the beginning.  Instead of inviting people to ponder or take a look at my point of view, I wanted to convert them to it.  Wrong!
  2. I have learned to agree to disagree – Instead of preaching my point of view until air from my lungs is exhausted, and they collapse, I have learned that it is alright to disagree, and it is healthy as well.
  3. It doesn’t change me – Learning to disagree and accepting disagreements does not mean that I have lost or have become weak.  On the other hand, understanding where the other person is coming from, makes me stronger and open-minded.  Agreeing to disagree does not change my core of beliefs, so there is no need for defensiveness.
  4. It is healthy to ponder others points of view – When you learn to appreciate the differences in others people’s arguments, you are allowing your mind to expand and look at other possibilities beyond your own.  You are freeing yourself out of your own box, and can benefit from this mental exercise.
  5. You are totally free – You are allowing yourself to consider other points of view, and there is no need to waste energy defending yours.  This may result on strengthening your own beliefs, or in allowing the freedom of changing them, if you discover new information that contradict your beliefs.

I have learned that there are more colors to an argument besides blue, and welcome all kinds of points of view.  Now, instead of preaching my point or trying to convince the other person that my way is the right one, I choose to expose my feelings in a non treatening way, providing information, and letting that person know why there are features and benefits (for me) to my point of view.  Now, instead of arguing, I sell.

Me Who, What, Huh?

A Jolt can with the text "America's most ...

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I guess it happens in your early forties, but suddenly, you find yourself questioning everything around you – the universe, society, career, friendships … and how you have lived your entire life.  The only thing not being questioned is family – because you are stuck with it.  Somehow, nothing seems to make sense, or at least, have the same meaning it had.  It could be a dramatic experience for many, or an exciting period in your life.  You can analyze everything to exhaustion and become depressed, or you can just enjoy the sudden jolt of enlightenment that seems to break you in  halves.

Eventually, like everything, it will pass, and you will emerge once more.  Depending on what you made of the experience, you will emerge strong or vulnerable – but no matter what, it is still you.  I am convinced that midlife crisis happens for a reason – it is necessary to ground you once more,  just as the “terrible twos” or the “challenging teens.”  Will it happen around your sixties, eighties …?  Who knows.  Me Who, What, Huh?

No Guilt, Just Happiness

A smiley by Pumbaa, drawn using a text editor.

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Have you ever felt so happy that your heart overflows?  Have you ever felt guilty for feeling happy?  Sounds like a contradiction, but it happens.  Many times we don’t know how to accept the happiness in our lives and give thanks for it.  Sometimes, we think that it is temporary or that we might put a jinx to it if we enjoy it for long.  What is wrong with this picture?  Everything.

Many times we think of the old adage that said – “After much laughter, there comes the tears.”  I thought of this adage and how sick it is to think that happiness is something that we have to grab fast because it will disappear and be replaced by some sad moment and suffering. 

This adage is an example of the power of words in our feelings, and in entire cultures.  Words are passed from generation to generation.  They build stories, they become tools for educating entire families, cities, countries … civilizations.  They become sacred or heresy; they become anointed with the same feelings they have provoked in people.  But they are just words, and we choose to give life and meaning to them.

The truth is that there are happy moments and sad moments – and we should embrace both to grow as humans and spiritual beings.  Our Creator made us to enjoy our lives and be happy.  (This is a personal belief).  However, even when you do not believe in a Creator, a God, or whatever you choose to call it – him – her …. one thing remains true – It is silly not to enjoy a happy moment or a happy life.  It is silly to feel guilty about pure happiness, and moreover, to let a silly adage cloud a perfect day!

Be happy!