The Influence of People in Your Life

Influence – to affect or change how someone or something develops, behaves, or thinks. (Cambridge Dictionary)

We are in the information era; however, I think we are a bit further along than that. We are in the influence era. Although we have always been influenced by others, whether family, friends, education, marketing, politics, religion … it is now when “influencers” are found everywhere, at every level of society, and even recognized as an occupation, that is, thanks to the development of the internet, and with it, social media venues. However, artificial intelligence is adding another layer to this era of influence, and this is only the beginning. I think that all markets will be changed by this in a significant way. In my opinion, we are entering a new era.

Aside from this, we have always been influenced by something or someone, directly or indirectly. The adage, “Birds of a feather flock (fly) together”, speaks of this influence. Who we allow in our close circle, whether we realize it or not, will influence us in a positive or negative way. Even when we think that we are strong enough to remain neutral in our relationships, there is always a part that is influenced by the other person(s). Sometimes, by the time we realize the type, depth, and degree of such influential forces, some damage has been done. Whom we have listened to, walk with, and entertained in life, those influences, have molded some of our responses/decisions, and views in life. Sometimes, an influential relationship will be beneficial, other times, the opposite, and years of such relationship(s) will affect, change, our development. It is usually after a long period of time that we begin to realize how a particular relationship influenced our outlook and behavior as well, and down the road, many of the results we observe in life due to choices we have made. This is not to blame others for our own choices, but to recognize the power of influences in our daily living. I have heard many times that “you become who you befriend.” You can develop a positive outlook or a “poor and doom” mentality. The other day, I was listening to someone talk, and every other word was can’t, never … words along those lines. I understood what was being said behind the scenes.

We are social beings, we tend to form groups, and we have a basic need for belonging. How that need is filled is up to us, as adults, that is. When I watch the news, and I see so much turmoil, hate, irrational behavior, verbal and physical attacks, and other less than civilized behavior, I see “influence” at play. When there is extreme polarity, taking sides becomes harder for the observer. The least of two evils might not be enough. Values are there for a reason, a sort of compass, but those values are subject to influences throughout our life. White or black might not be enough, and gray seems a forced compromise sometimes.

Blaming others (influencers) for our choices is denying personal responsibility and eventually, hindering our growth as human beings; it diminishes our humanity, and in a way, our ability to recognize influential forces in our lives, including our own. We reject our free-will, our most precious gift and essence.