This post is about when someone acts unexpectedly and it puzzles you, especially, a stranger. The story I am about to tell happened to me and my husband at the grocery store. I thought it would be a good idea to share it because there are several factors at play.

Background – As a household of two, my husband and I budget monthly, and we budget an amount for groceries. We do grocery shopping once a month, most likely, every 4-6 weeks, and that includes food and necessary household items. During that time period we will revisit the grocery store, if necessary, for milk, eggs, bread, and fruit, only if these items are gone, usually an extra trip during the 4–6-week period. Logically, and because we shop when all the food is gone, when the time comes our shopping cart looks full, like a lot of food for only two people.

The story – While we were in the process of checking out at the grocery store, the customer behind us said loudly, “Are the two of you going to eat all that food?” The tone was a bit condescending. It took me by surprise, especially the tone of voice. I took notice of the cashier’s expression, which was a bit surprised by the comment. I answered, “I’m sorry, what was that again?” The customer said, “I asked if all that food was for the two of you.” His voice still a bit loud, and I detected frustration. At the time, my husband was busy putting bags in the shopping cart, but we glanced at each other. At this point, I realized what was going on, and I had a few choices in which way to react.

*I could ignore the person and remain silent.

*I could reply, “None of your business,” and most likely get into an argument.

*Or, I could give this frustrated man a free and quick grocery shopping education.

I chose the third option because I heard the frustration in his voice and saw it in his eyes. There is a fine line between frustration and anger, sometimes, frustration reflects as anger. I placed my hand on his shoulder, smiled at him, and said, “Oh yes, this is our grocery shopping for the next 4-6 weeks, about a month and a half worth.” He replied, still in a loud voice, “So you are telling me that the two of you won’t set foot on this store for a month?” I answered, “Well, only one more time or so, for milk, bread, eggs, or maybe fruit, but not for the rest.” His demeanor immediately changed. He said, “Is that right?” He looked a bit puzzled, and as if wanting to know more. He glanced at the groceries, then at me. I said, “It is a lot cheaper this way, and as you see, everything here requires cooking, nothing easily precooked.” The cashier said, “Yes, all of it has to be cooked.” Then I proceeded to explain to him our simple method. The cashier joined in the conversation agreeing and making suggestions. The man listened quietly. This is basically what I told him.

*We always shop with a list and follow the list. The list is the result of checking what is gone in the pantry, which is pretty much everything because we consume before we buy again. I showed him the list I was still holding.

*We only buy items that have to be cooked. It is cheaper to cook than to buy pre-packaged or ready to eat items. And because we rarely go out to eat, we rely on cooking our food.

*I told him that this amount of food was for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, plus snacks, and that it would last 4-6 weeks if portioned well. I explained to him that the amount we budget comes out to about $50 a week for two people for four weeks, and about $35 give or take a week, if divided in 6 weeks.

*I also added that my husband takes his lunch and snacks to work every day, and he doesn’t buy lunch at work.

*While showing him the list, I told him that if an item that is less expensive but offers the same nutritional value as the one item on my shopping list, I switch to that item.

*I explained that pretty much it comes down to sticking to your list and switching some things around, cooking most of your meals, and being mindful of portions, and what was left in your pantry before buying again. I also told him that having the supermarket discount card was very helpful, and saved me more money, including clipping some electronic coupons on their website, of items I was sure that I would buy before heading to the store.

*I told him, it doesn’t happen by magic, you have to put work and effort into it.

That was pretty much it, in our now friendly conversation, and during that time the man seemed curious, and expressed interest in what I was saying. He would reply, “Oh, really?” “That is a good idea; I bet you save a lot of money this way.” When the cashier had our total ready ($214) I asked him to take a look at the screen, and he did. I told him, “See? Like I told you, around $50 or so a week, for a month, give or take, or much less if I make it last two more weeks, which I do.” He said, but this time in a friendly and excited tone, “Wow, this is cheaper than a family of four eating one time at a restaurant.” The cashier said, “Yes, it is, but you have to cook.”

I checked out and said my goodbyes. I heard the man said to the cashier, “I can’t believe it; that is a lot cheaper, and a lot of food.” I heard her ask, “Do you have a customer savings card? My husband said, “You talk a lot.”

My take – I hope that man benefited from the little he was able to see and learn that day. I learned a lot. There is a lot of stress and suffering out there. People are truly having hard times, and everything is very expensive. People are truly hurting, and sometimes it takes a toll on them, and it reflects on their interactions with other people, even with strangers at a grocery store. Sometimes, we have to choose how to respond, even when it is a bit harder to do so. We also have to look for choices and alternatives to our situation(s) when we are struggling. Anger and blaming others will not solve our problems, neither, judging without knowing the entire story. The pain out there is real; you can see it in people’s faces. Giving a little “grace-period” in our interactions help.

As a writer, these instances help me learn about behavior and help with character building and developing in future novels. By the way, today I checked my grocery store email; I have $14 earned from this trip that will automatically be discounted on my next shopping trip. I hope some of these grocery tips were truly helpful.