future planning

The Well is Almost Dry in Every Sense of the Word

/ inkspeare / Leave a comment
In memory of Dolly (Photo by M.A.D.)

When I set out to write this blog, many years ago, definitely more than a decade ago, I wanted to write about my journey as an indie author, my journey from the Jersey shore to the Virginia countryside, and my journey fixing up a dilapidated farmhouse. Today, I am writing about all of this and my view/feelings about it.

It has been a very dry year; the Southside is still under severe drought, a step down from extreme drought. Other counties have seen rain and with it some relief; however, Southside VA has seen a few drops here and there. The clouds roll, the thunder roars, the wind follows, but the rain never falls. My water well has seen the effects of the low or already dry creeks around here. Months ago, an older Amish man mentioned to me that his son was having trouble with the well that was used for the cows. It has become drier since then. The garden is very dry, and we hardly had any blooms this year; some plants died, as these cannot be watered properly. Last year, I collected a wheelbarrow of grapes; this year, only a bowl.

This year’s grapes (photo by M.A.D.)

The drought started officially last autumn, but this writer’s inkwell has been drying for a while now, as far as my work in progress goes. Yes, as far as my novels, I cannot seem to unlock the gate that will let the flood through, and although I have plenty of ideas for other novels, it is the current work in progress that has become stale. I am not sure why and neither do I have a logical explanation that will appease my soul, other than I have realized and come to terms in accepting my dislike and disdain for Amazon, which is my only platform for publishing at the moment. I believe that it has deteriorated and degraded in a way that is plain and simple disrespectful not only to the craft, but to the millions of serious authors who trusted it with their works from the beginning. The gatekeeper failed writers, or maybe it was set up to “fail for profit” since the start. AI only adds another layer to the madness and chaos.

My love of writing has not been altered; only the venue to bring it to life has, and until I make peace with it, or step away to embrace another venue, I don’t know if my current work will see the light soon. I don’t even know if it will make a difference, after all, Amazon is still the number one venue for independent authors, even when more and more indie writers are leaving this venue. As of today, I don’t have an answer; time will tell. I will tend to my writing, as if it was my secret garden, even if I don’t decide to publish right away.

My love affair with this old farmhouse continues, and we (my husband and I) continue to make it better year after year, following the initial vision we had for it, but also making adjustments to the plan as needed. For example, converting part of the downstairs into a bedroom, a necessary endeavor after realizing that the stairs were too steep and difficult to climb when I injured my knee last year. It will be needed in the future as well, that is, if we age in place. Other important issues have derailed some of the work, such as an almost-dry water well, and the need to hook up to public town water in the near future, as well as new neighbors who do not understand private property boundaries, and continue to use part of our property as a football field, central park, or a parking lot, which has prompted the need to install a fence due to obvious liability reasons, making this, another big ticket item that has derailed the previous plans. The downstairs bedroom will be finished this coming weekend. On a positive note, all this increases real estate value. A time for everything and everything in its time seems to be my motto now. Either or, I will be glad to welcome a very wet and stormy autumn if we are blessed with it.

As far as this blog, it will continue its initial purpose, but also, it has become a very dear part of my journey, and a priceless way to connect with the rest of humanity. Human connection is one of the most beautiful gifts from God, and so is creativity. I will end this post with a few pictures I took this summer, moments that captured my attention for a bit.

Baby deer has grown quickly. He was born near the blue shed (Photo by M.A.D)
Mama deer teamed up with another mom, and both are raising their babies together. I guess it is a smart way to assure that either baby is safe or taken care if something happens to either one of the mothers. (Photo by M.A.D.)
Marigolds were the only flowers that bloomed in large quantity and were definitely a lifesaver for butterflies. (Photo by M.A.D.)
I decided to move the hummingbird feeder to the porch, and now humans and felines can enjoy the show. Also, it keeps the nectar a bit cooler. (photo by M.A.D.)
Always very happy to see one of these around – stik bug (Photo by M.A.D.)
And one of these as well (Photo by M.A.D.)
The old farmhouse today, and a work in progress (photo by M.A.D.)

Love and Light

Perfect Timing

/ inkspeare

Although we had a mild winter, for some reason, it feels a long one. We had a bit of a cool down this week, and even frost overnight. I am glad that I did not jump ahead and planted any veggies, otherwise the timing would have been wrong.

In life, perfect timing seems to be an important issue, more than money or drive. How many times people have had all the money and resources, but it was just not the “right time?” Whatever the project or venture, it did not come to fruition. Immediately, we tend to label it as failure, and even label ourselves as such. What was important for us were results. We forget quickly about the journey, all the effort, work, and focus we put into a project. As if that doesn’t count at all. We only see that we failed. Simply put, results were more important than the journey itself. By disregarding our journey, we forget the lessons learned, and sometimes, the lesson is more important than the result we were hoping for, but we fail to see it because we are too focused on the outcome. After all, we labor hard for something, right? Most people do. We trade something for something else. Time for money, money for things … In the meantime, we forget all that we learned, and how it shaped us. Because we are so conditioned to trade something for something, when we trade our hard work and effort, our mental focus, even emotional energy, and something does not materialize at the end, we blame and label ourselves as failure, and even punish ourselves deep in our hearts. We end up feeling frustrated, tired, lost, and another mental game starts. We think that there must be something wrong with us because we start comparing ourselves to others who have obtained the results we wanted and worked so hard, even sacrificed for, but never materialized. Once we jump into that rollercoaster, our self-esteem is (naturally) going to suffer; then, our trust and believe in ourselves are lost.

What is perfect timing? Many define it as being in the right place at the right time, other people as a kiss from Lady Luck. I define it as learning to be quiet enough that I can see the picture, appreciate the lesson, and wait for the direction that God has for me. I view perfect timing as God’s timing, separate from my human perception of how things should be and end. Learning that has made a difference in my life and how I define success and failure. Perfect timing is God’s speed.

Flipping the Switch

/ inkspeare

Starting to live a simple life has not been easy.  Mostly, because it has been a slow process and one that has been the result of some good and not so good events.  It has been ticking, and finally the pieces are starting to fall in place, slowly, one by one.  It is a process of shedding, not only the material, but of the feelings attached to those material things.  It’s been a time to shed emotions, and of retrospection; a time of discovery, and of realization.  It has also been a time to do just the opposite of what had been expected and go against the current, of letting go.  That has been the spiritual side of it, although the material part has had its own challenges.  

Once you see the material for what it is, it becomes less important, little by little, step by step.  What used to be hard to get rid of, one day becomes easy, the feelings attached are still there, but you realize that the feelings will always be there, and they don’t need the physicality of an object to be brought to memory.  Most of it is crap, from shoppaholic days, or the result of some old empty void being filled at the time.  Once acknowledged, it is free to let go, and so is all the stuff that goes with it.

There are catalysts in our lives that act as switches, to turn us on to achieve our next level as evolving human and spiritual beings.  These catalysts can take the form of persons (even the ones that may hurt you), events, and things.  So however we have arrived to the start of living a simple life – I thank the persons (good and bad), the events, and the things, which have made it possible.  

Once the switch has been flipped, the rest of our life – the simple life – follows.

Flip the Switch

A Better New Year

/ inkspeare

The Holiday festivities are over, and the New Year is here – and we all wish that 2010 will be a better year.  2009 was a rough year for many, for our Country.  Despite all the challenges, we start 2010 with hope – hoping for the best.

I had my share of good news on the farmhouse.  The survey has been completed and so far so good; the affidavits all taken care of.  Now it is a matter of getting everyone to sign and proceed to closing.  Then, the restoration will begin, which I think is the exciting part, along with moving to a different part of the country and starting a new simpler life.  We will have to get used to the southern accent (which I love), and many of the small town living customs.  It is all good!

A friend of mine mentioned to me the other day that she will not plan for 2010.  Instead, she will receive every day and enjoy what the day brings.  I think it is a wonderful idea!  I will try to do the same, although we all know how difficult that has proven to be for me.  The thought of not planning is a bit unsettling for me.  So far, I have managed to make lists and timeframes for pretty much everything, and it is not even the 10th of January.  Managed to straighten and clean all my files, created a budget plan, logged all my goals and timeframes for this year, organized the office, and reviewed my decluttering schedule … It goes on and on.  This is why I thought my friend’s idea was a magnificent one.

Well, I am determined to make the best of every day of this year.  The New Year is here, and the clock started ticking …