goals

Assuming an Identity in the New Year

/ inkspeare

I have to become before I become. As I wrote a few things that I want to accomplish this year, the thought crossed my mind. I may develop a detail plan, but it truly does not mean anything unless I start modeling behavior, acting as the person I want to become in order to achieve the target goal. I have to become, in my mind and in my doing, the person I want to eventually become. To illustrate, I will use a simple example, a common goal that most people set – to save x amount of money by a certain day. In order to do that, I have to act as a saver. I have to become/model the behavior of a saver, a person who saves money. I have to act/be what I want to become in order to achieve what I want to achieve. That is just a simple example, but depending on how many layers a goal might have, that will determine how many identities I might have to assume in order to make it real.

As a writer, writing characters, identities, personality traits … become second nature. Eventually, by repeating a specific behavior that is required to achieve a specific result/outcome will become second nature as well. Just as a character grows and develops throughout the pages of a story, so do we, when we model what we want to become. With each layer, each modeled behavior, we grow from one initial step to the next, and so on, just as a character grows/evolves from chapter to chapter or a series.

Depending on the complexity of a goal, that is how many identities one might have to assume. Going back to the example of saving money, I will evolve it to a few more layers, let’s say, saving x amount (first layer) to pay debt (second layer) in order to build wealth (third layer) for a safer future (fourth layer). There are a few layers on this financial goal.

Goal layers – Identity/behavior

Saving money = Saver

Debt free = Frugal person/conscientious of spending

Build wealth = Spend less than you earn/Financially literate

Safer future = Wealth manager/manage money wisely

In each level of progress, a new identity emerges that the previous identity will support; it all interrelates and works together, but without “acting out the part,” without becoming or modeling the appropriate behavior, nothing will happen. Many times, we become overwhelmed by looking at the outcome first, but in reality, it is much manageable and real when we just look at the first step/ the first behavior, and let it evolve from there.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2 (NKJV)

“And have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him.” Colossians 3:10 (NKJV)

Photo by M.A.D.

Perfect Timing

/ inkspeare

Although we had a mild winter, for some reason, it feels a long one. We had a bit of a cool down this week, and even frost overnight. I am glad that I did not jump ahead and planted any veggies, otherwise the timing would have been wrong.

In life, perfect timing seems to be an important issue, more than money or drive. How many times people have had all the money and resources, but it was just not the “right time?” Whatever the project or venture, it did not come to fruition. Immediately, we tend to label it as failure, and even label ourselves as such. What was important for us were results. We forget quickly about the journey, all the effort, work, and focus we put into a project. As if that doesn’t count at all. We only see that we failed. Simply put, results were more important than the journey itself. By disregarding our journey, we forget the lessons learned, and sometimes, the lesson is more important than the result we were hoping for, but we fail to see it because we are too focused on the outcome. After all, we labor hard for something, right? Most people do. We trade something for something else. Time for money, money for things … In the meantime, we forget all that we learned, and how it shaped us. Because we are so conditioned to trade something for something, when we trade our hard work and effort, our mental focus, even emotional energy, and something does not materialize at the end, we blame and label ourselves as failure, and even punish ourselves deep in our hearts. We end up feeling frustrated, tired, lost, and another mental game starts. We think that there must be something wrong with us because we start comparing ourselves to others who have obtained the results we wanted and worked so hard, even sacrificed for, but never materialized. Once we jump into that rollercoaster, our self-esteem is (naturally) going to suffer; then, our trust and believe in ourselves are lost.

What is perfect timing? Many define it as being in the right place at the right time, other people as a kiss from Lady Luck. I define it as learning to be quiet enough that I can see the picture, appreciate the lesson, and wait for the direction that God has for me. I view perfect timing as God’s timing, separate from my human perception of how things should be and end. Learning that has made a difference in my life and how I define success and failure. Perfect timing is God’s speed.

A Better New Year

/ inkspeare

The Holiday festivities are over, and the New Year is here – and we all wish that 2010 will be a better year.  2009 was a rough year for many, for our Country.  Despite all the challenges, we start 2010 with hope – hoping for the best.

I had my share of good news on the farmhouse.  The survey has been completed and so far so good; the affidavits all taken care of.  Now it is a matter of getting everyone to sign and proceed to closing.  Then, the restoration will begin, which I think is the exciting part, along with moving to a different part of the country and starting a new simpler life.  We will have to get used to the southern accent (which I love), and many of the small town living customs.  It is all good!

A friend of mine mentioned to me the other day that she will not plan for 2010.  Instead, she will receive every day and enjoy what the day brings.  I think it is a wonderful idea!  I will try to do the same, although we all know how difficult that has proven to be for me.  The thought of not planning is a bit unsettling for me.  So far, I have managed to make lists and timeframes for pretty much everything, and it is not even the 10th of January.  Managed to straighten and clean all my files, created a budget plan, logged all my goals and timeframes for this year, organized the office, and reviewed my decluttering schedule … It goes on and on.  This is why I thought my friend’s idea was a magnificent one.

Well, I am determined to make the best of every day of this year.  The New Year is here, and the clock started ticking …