Ponderable

The Stages of a Simple Beginning (Starting Over)

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Morning Glory (photo by M.A.D.)

Ever had to start over, either by a conscientious and premeditated choice or by a forced circumstance? It is like the Spring that comes after the death of Autumn and the coldness of Winter. The difference between the two circumstances is the degree of trauma or excitement. Either way, one has to start somewhere. So, where to start? Obviously, safety is most important to consider. Once a person has a safe haven where primary needs are met, such as food, shelter, income, and other basic needs, only then a person can start recovering and dreaming again, but not until one has grieved the past. Grieving the past is the one thing that should not be avoided, the sooner the better, and the faster a person can recover from whatever circumstances caused a “starting over” situation. Even in a planned and voluntary fresh start, I have to leave things behind, a form of grieving. Only then, forgiveness is possible, of others and myself. Only then, I will be able to move forward towards a new day, a fresh start, a new beginning. The simpler the start, the better.

Simple beginnings hardly are simple. I have to find balance again, the old is gone, and the new, well, it has not fully arrived yet. I am in a suspended state for a brief time, a time where everything or mostly everything is new, unfamiliar, and unpredictable to some degree. Sometimes, one has to find oneself before charging to a brand-new future; a new present has its own challenges, some easier than others, depending on the circumstances that catapulted the change. Even when the change is planned and executed carefully, the unpredictable shows up.

When embracing a new beginning, a slow pace at first helps me see with more clarity the road ahead, even during sudden change. I might not be able to control circumstances, but I can slow down in the way I react to change; I can always control the part that is me. It all starts with me, and of course, faith. Hope will follow soon enough, and with hope, new dreams and possibilities. Once I start dreaming again, I have begun again.

As writers, many times we place one of our characters in such a predicament of starting over, and by not rushing a character through all the stages of a simple new beginning, we are building the character’s credibility and ultimately that character’s truth. When we don’t rush ourselves, and we go through the same stages, we start regaining confidence, believing in ourselves once more, finding our truth. But life is not fiction, even if we deny reality and try to live in our own fantasy. Eventually, the fantasy dissolves and we are left with the possibility of change, of making the decision of a simple new beginning, even when that might be just as simple as embracing a brand-new day, as it is for many. During that time, kindness to ourselves and others on the way will make the most significance.

When we focus on our differences, we don’t see need, and we miss an opportunity for kindness. Kindness with promotion cheapens it. Kindness without forgiveness cancels it.

A Robin’s Tale

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Robin (Photo by M.A.D.)

Since childhood, we are conditioned to see things as useful, utilitarian, and with a purpose. We learn it from our parents, at school, and later on, from all the messages we receive from society. The messages tell us that things must have a purpose, a use, to be valuable. We learn to equate utility with value, and eventually, with how good or bad things are. It is a subtle message, one that can hardly be spotted in our minds, in the way we view and judge things/people/life.

The robins are back, a sign that the lovely weather of spring days will soon arrive. Although they have their place in nature, it is not obvious to me how they impact an environment. At first glance, they might not seem “useful” at all, but for me, it is a sight that besides beauty, it brings me joy, peace, and relaxation. For me, they are valuable. Things don’t have to always be useful to be valuable. The mere existence of those pudgy birds is enough. God made them perfect.

Sometimes, we judge ourselves, we measure ourselves with the same ruler. We judge our value according to how “useful” we are, to how much we do in a day, how successful we are in life, how much money or possessions we have, or not. We go a step further and we compare ourselves to other people, whom we also judge, and we mentally and emotionally assign ourselves a “place” in the timeline of success. We think that we are in a lesser position than we should be, or that we are not enough according to those imaginary standards.

The same God who created the robins created us with value to Him. As part of His magnificent and perfect creation we have a valuable place in it, whether we see it or not. Maybe if we can accept our being, the immense value we have to our Creator, we might not be so harsh unto ourselves, and maybe, we will start seeing ourselves and our brothers and sisters with the loving eyes of our Creator, who is the perfect source of it all, including us, and the robins.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well.”

Psalm 139:14

De-evolution?

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I have a dream; that one day, people in this country, from the top down, will have manners and decorum once more. I don’t know what has happened, and I never expected to see it in my lifetime, but people have become uncivilized. When I see how people who have higher positions in our government talk to one another, the type of crass language, cursing, and simply, the kind of less than civilized behavior they display, I have to ask myself what happened to an older generation that once viewed decorum and manners as something of value, moral value, the same generation that equated such public display of inappropriate and vulgar behavior to a lack of intelligence. We behave as cavemen who cannot control a single emotion, whose brains are still in development, from an evolutionary point of view.

My goodness, what has happened to us? Our demeanor is not better than that of medieval characters who believed in fallacies, myths, and superstition, and execute faulty reasoning. It is 2026, and with all the accessible knowledge and technology we have, it seems as if we are de-evolving, going back to a primal state; pretty soon, we will be pounding our chest and howling.

“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18 ESV)

The Mystifying Nature of Time

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The other day, I had a conversation with my sister that made me think about time, mortality, and my perception of these. She watched a video in which a former supermodel now in her sixties, said that if she were to live until her eighties, she will have about 20 more summers to enjoy. Being about her age, the realization that 20 summers is not too many hit me. Imagine writing these numbers down and crossing each one as time goes by and realizing that 20 is such a finite number and thus, the fragility and brevity of one’s existence. Overwhelming on paper for sure.

Time is aloof. It is long, it is short, it is real, but also measured by our kind, by our humanity. It is freely given; it is used and misused. It is ignored when we think we have much of it but wanted when it seems scarce or limited. It is a blessing but a curse for many. Perception defines it, for every person differently; we give it meaning. It is constant but forgettable. It is natural but also, supernatural and mystifying.

Summers come and go. I never thought about them as a finite number. When I think of what I did last summer, much of it eludes me. Did I enjoy it? Did it just go by as any other season? For some reason, when you start numbering your summers, your life seems to have gone faster, time seems to speed up, and the realization of how fragile one’s existence is, and how special it is as well, certainly puts many things into perspective. Memories are markings of the passing of time. I guess that my point to all of this rambling is that time is a gift, a blessing we are given, and our days are not guaranteed. No one knows for sure what this day will bring, or if it will be the last, so in that sense, would a number even matter?

For us time is linear, but also, it is more than that. Just think of everything that happens at once in your life, with all your interactions, and the people in your circle and beyond, all around you, all interconnected in some supernatural and natural way. Live well the blessing of a new day and be grateful for the time that has been given to you; it is all a gift from above. I am certainly looking forward to this summer.

Photo by M.A.D.

The Last Thread

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One Day at a Time

When life does not seem to go as expected and might feel as if we are being tested beyond our strength, it may seem as if we are hanging from the last thread. The thread seems to unravel more and more with every feeling, emotion, and physical/mental response we experience during times of turmoil, sadness, and desperation. Sometimes, the intensity of what we are experiencing is so difficult to endure that exhausted as we feel, we might as well let go of that last thread. Some people do. Others see a little bit of hope on that last bit of strength and hold on for dear life, praying for better days or a miracle, and somehow, it happens. As long as you don’t let go, it happens. You are made stronger as you hold on tight; you are renewed as you pray every single day, and sometimes, even every single moment of the day. Somehow, you are lifted up, changed, renewed and refreshed, and you see the light around you. Where there was darkness, now there is light, and you can begin to see it.

Because that act of faith, of holding on, of praying, you were lifted up and made anew. Something changed. You experienced the love of God, a miracle. Holding on tight to the last Thread? Don’t let go; pray. You are being sustained by the love of God, who heard you pray, and your miracle is about to happen.

The Last Analog Space

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A couple of weeks ago I watched an interview about AI and its ramifications so far, and possible impact in a very near future. Because artificial intelligence is developing and learning at a very accelerated pace, the person being interviewed believed that there is a small window of opportunity now for humanity to “take control” of AI before it basically controls us and everything around us, our entire world/existence. He said that in a very short time we would not be able to clearly distinguish between AI and reality, so we should not miss the small window of opportunity right now to understand it better and take charge of it.

All this sounded very science fiction to me, but also, a very real possibility. It made me think about the world, our humanity, and role in it, as well as our “sacred space” in this world; we each have one. If this were to happen in a not-so-distant future, where would the last analog space be? As long as we remain human and we treasure our humanity, that last analog space would be within us; it will be inside us, the essence that makes us who we are, our soul. It is up to us to care and cherish that sacred space, where the divine meets us.

Beauty of the Human Race

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Every New Year’s Eve, my husband and I watched the New York City celebrations on TV. It is something that has become a tradition and we enjoy very much. This year, as I watched, I realized something that although in plain view, escaped my mind before, and I did not give it a second thought. As I watched the crowd, I saw a sea of diversity, people from every ethnic background, color, race, age, gender … They were all celebrating together, smiling, dancing, hoping. At that time, these people were one in experience. I thought of it as one of the most beautiful things one can witness in a lifetime, the oneness of us.

The human race is so beautiful. The more I focused on each face on the crowd the more I felt this internal connection of belonging to something greater than myself. I saw hope reflecting; I saw such beauty in God’s creation. We are all different, but one race. We might look different, speak different languages, have different cultures, but we are one race. There is such beauty in that. In this climate of division and hate, let us realize that we came from one Creator who loves us all the same. Some of us might have fallen in darkness more than others, but we are loved the same. If only we could realize the mystery of His creation, that we have the breath of God in us, His light, and that just because of that, we are one in many, but also the wonder of being, of existing as part of His creation. If we could understand that each one of us was meant to be, we would feel more connected, and maybe we would understand that God does not make mistakes, or garbage, or less than … that would be denial of His own nature. We are all in this together and we are part of something beautiful, of something holy.

I leave you with a poem that I wrote years ago and came to mind as I wrote this post.

One in many

On this day I shall wish

many blessings, harmony

When the night gives in to day

and the day nestles the night,

we will be as one in many.

Shine your light for it will be

as the beacon one will see

Always seek your love to give

without measure, plenty and free.

As you give you will receive,

one in many it has been.

Me, You, It, one and the same,

Love, One Source, is One in many.

As you wish it will be done,

may you wish, joy, peace, and love

For it returns the wish to wisher,

two ten fold, as one in many.

***

Because Sometimes, Change is Good

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Where did the year go? For me, it was truly a whirlwind that swept me in many directions, expected and unexpected, some good, some not so good; however here I am, thankful for it all, and looking forward to next year experiences, whatever they might be. It is life; it means I am alive and open to God’s plan for my life. This is my last post for the year, and I was not sure of what to write to end the year. I did not want it to be another holiday post, so here I am, winging it. Just think of it as a conversation from the heart.

Sometimes, we let ourselves be influenced by others, whether that be media, friends, family, acquaintances, influencers, groups, religion, politics … You name it. Everyone has anything to say about how we should live and plan our existence, but when we think about it, nobody really has the answers. Life is given to us to experience and fulfill it, one day, moment, second at a time. When you think about it, it is beautiful. We were presented with this gift that we did not ask for, and we have the freedom to live it. Whatever things are thrown in the package, it is all ours to make something of it. We are all one big conglomerate in the human race; we all want to live a happy and peaceful, joyful life. We are more similar than not. Hate is a disease, it is sickness. Love is a cure. We decide. We might be influenced, negatively or positively, but we decide. We decide how to act, react, and what to let into our life, what we give our attention to, and how we live day by day. In the end, we only have this day, and sometimes, not even a full one; our seconds are in the hand of our Creator, but so are our blessings. Does it really matter if someone else has more than you? or if you did not meet your goals this year? Does it? When I think about it, and in the big scheme of the journey, it truly does not. I don’t know how long my journey is, no one does, so why not choose love over sickness, inner peace over discontent, gladness over bitterness, and hope, especially hope. The journey is meaningless without hope, and faith.

I hope that you embrace the holiday season and next year with hope, faith, and at peace with yourself, the rest will come when it needs to come. When God made you, he knew who he made, but also, your journey. Your journey is not meant to be stationary; it is meant to be full of change, and change brings growth, knowledge, and understanding, and with understanding comes kindness, and with kindness, love. In that sense, change is good.

I wish you and yours a joyous holiday season and may next year be filled with the kind of blessings that only come from above, the best kind, in my opinion. Merry Christmas! God bless you all.

Love and Light,

Inkspeare

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6 NKJ)

Till’ the Cows Come Home

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Contrast is revelation.

We can pray till’ the cows come home, but …

1 Corinthians 13:1-8 (NIV)

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Jesus taught us to love.

He blessed the children. He fed the hungry. He healed the sick. He spoke peace not war. He forgave his enemies. He forgave sins. He loved all, including the outcasts. He liberated the oppressed. He gave his life for all, the greatest act of love. What is not of Love, is not of God.

Contrast is revelation.