Ponderable

Finding Your Own Paradigm

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Truth!

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The American Heritage Dictionary defines paradigm as:  an example or a model.

We follow paradigms all our lives (voluntary or involuntary), since the time we are born, till the time of our departure.  Standards are set, ideals, models of behavior, social patterns that we follow throughout our lives, sometimes, without questioning their validity.  We accept these models as truth, but sometimes these models fail us.  When this happens, it is time to reevaluate the standards and ideals on which we have put our faith.

Finding your own paradigm, creating your own system, is necessary if you want to accomplish what you have set out to achieve in your life.  Following predetermined systems, other people’s ideas of “what works” – blindly – guarantees many broken dreams, and tons of wasted precious time.

There are set models and standards that have been established to help the better functioning of society.  Our job as responsible individuals is to weigh those systems and take what is useful, apply it to our lives, and improve on it.  By learning to get in touch with our dreams, goals, inner desires, skills, and core beliefs, we give form to our own system – what works for us.

While creating your own system, you can expect to make waves, to raise eyebrows, and to get the unsolicited truth from “the know it all.”  You will have to endure the comments coming from your loved ones (the ones that hurt the most), as they cannot see pass beyond their reality and the label that they have assigned you through the years.  Their opinion is sometimes clouded by the expectations by which they live, and these by the paradigms that they have themselves accepted as true.  Many times, influenced by titles, society labels, and the general belief of the masses, that follow as blind cattle.  So what if you are the only one proud of what you do for a living?  What if it is taking longer for you to hit the “I made it” label?  The growth is slowly, many times, and each person is different.  This is the price to pay for following your truth.  “As you believe so shall become,” we have heard this adage before, simple but true.  The law of attraction says that what we think, believe, and visualize, becomes our reality.   The Bible, and many other uplifting philosophies reinforce the same premise.  Many turned into paradigms, many twisted by society, history, political powers … and so on.

My question to you is whose reality?

 

 

Planning Your New Year – Resolution Solution

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The New Year is around the corner, and we start thinking about new goals, plans, starting anew, and the inevitable – all the goals that we set and did not accomplish.  We feel guilty, and at our worst, as failures.  So we take the pen and paper and start all over again, sometimes repeating the same goals – promising ourselves:  “this year for sure …”  I’ve been there.

Setting goals and naming things that we want to accomplish should not be a painful or shameful process.  It should be a guide, a road map of what we want to do and where we want to end up.  But goals should be realistic and measurable.  Just saying: “I want to lose weight” is not enough.  Instead, go thru a series of questions like:  how many pounds, how, when will I schedule the how, and most important – why?  Why do I want to lose the weight?  Your motivator is your best weapon.  If you don’t know your why, most likely, another year will pass, with no results.  This formula should be applied to every goal or project that you plan for the New Year.

Take a planner or your PC and schedule in your goals, daily, weekly, or however you figured out that you will work at them throughout the entire year.  If you have a reminder every day of your goal schedule, then it is likely that you will work at them with more enthusiasm and determination.  Set an automatic reminder in your PC.  The list of goals written on December 31st is not enough – it has to be planned.

Start thinking realistically of the things that you want to accomplish this coming year; make your list, but don’t stop there – map out a schedule to make them real.  At the end of the year, even if some of them did not work out, most will – and you will feel better and more productive.  I find that by doing this, by the end of the year I see that I have crossed out a good part of my list.  Some goals are still there, but I am a few steps closer to them, and I can always continue to work on them.

One thing that I have observed in some people if that they take their goals as written in stone and will not deviate, even when there is a need for some modification.  Many times a goal is missed just because of this, which is ironic.  In addition, goals should be taken as a guide to where we want to be and not as a horse blinder that will prevent us to enjoy the scenery in the process.  It is good to set some goals but it is also good to leave some room for flexibility, change, and modification.

Happy New Year Planning!

You are What You Read

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How many times have you heard the adage “You are what you eat?”  The same can be said about reading.  You are what you read.  Whatever you feed your brain, that is the connection that you are promoting.  The connections that form in the brain are the result of the stimuli that we receive.  So, if we feed the brain garbage, we better beware, because that is the connection that we are forming.  Despite all our medical and scientific advances, much of how the brain works is still a mystery.  But we know for sure that the brain is making connections as we learn and receive more stimuli.

So when Rene Descartes – the philosopher – said, “I think therefore I am,” we can say that he was not only referring to the cognitive and thinking process, but for sake of this argument, of the possibility of becoming in the sense of what we feed our brains.  How does a college student become a physician?  By learning, reading, and studying to be one.  He becomes the information that he studied.

The possibilities are infinite.  By feeding our brain the right kind of information we become.  Take your goals into consideration.  For example, do you want to be in a better financial position?  Then, start feeding your brain the kind of information that will take you there.

We also read for entertainment. It relaxes us, and takes us to another world.  When is time to come back to reality the reading material that we choose to advance ourselves, is as important as the air we breathe.  Many of us use reading as an escape to reality, or a tool for learning, but it can be much more.  Reading can be a positive power of suggestion, a tool to make you achieve your potential.

So, next time you pick up that book (or magazine, or whatever) – are you feeding your brain a healthy diet?

Poetry – To an American Soldier

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American Soldiers .. US military: 2 US soldier...As the Holiday Season approaches, I find myself thinking about all the families that will not be able to spend this time with their loved ones who are serving their country or who have died doing so.  It bothers me that the holidays are more about commercialism, frenzy shopping, than about true recognition of all the good, valuable, and great things that our soldiers, veterans, and first responders have done throughout the years, and continue doing.  Yes, no one likes war, and maybe I am a silly dreamer thinking that one day, war will not exist anymore; however, the reality is that war has been fought since the beginning of times.  And yes, without commerce the economy of a country goes dead; however, there is a time under the sun for everything.  One line from an old holiday movie stuck with me – “We give them our sons, and they bring us back their stuff.” (A Christmas Visitor).  Powerful words, and that is how many families feel during this time.

I had written this poem sometime ago, and as I prepare myself to receive the Holiday Season and give thanks for all the blessings in my life – which are many, I want to honor all those who served our country and who serve today.  So here is this humble poem as my gift to you, but knowing that you deserve so much more from me and everyone else.

 

To an American Soldier

 

I have the sand for a bed

The night sky for a lullaby

Days become long

Night becomes day.

 

Heart loves the nation

Mind thinks of home

Body stays focus

Soul knows the most.

 

Of family and friends,

Of holidays home,

Of freedom and price

My dreams have become.

 

When everything quiets

Images go flying

The Patriot loves Country,

The man loves a family.

 

The heart aches for Country,

Family and friends,

The soul screams for Freedom,

A price here to pay.

Success – When it is Not About Me

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This morning, I had a conversation with my sister about how successful some entrepreneurs become, and how financially rewarded they became.  Some examples seemed too simple to have landed in success.  When I looked at the simplicity of their plan and at the product/service, if  I had not known that their ventures were successful, I would have thought that there was no way that would work.  There was only one thing in common among these people – their venture met a need, filled a void, in a different way.  These people were helping other people with their product and they were making a difference with it.  One of the examples my sister talked about was of a woman who gave a pedicure/manicure to a pregnant friend who couldn’t go out to get it and certainly could not do it herself.  The result was that from helping that friend a lightbulb went on and she started her business, helping women in the same situation as her friend.

For many people, the first issue in mind when starting a venture is to make it financially, to make money at it and see results.  The more I look at other examples, the more I see a pattern – you have to want to help people first, and the success and the money will come as a result.  If you start thinking about getting money first, and helping people later, it just doesn’t seem to work.  This applies to any example, product or service.  It is understandable that people go into business to make money, but it seems that it is all in the approach, on how they approach the venture – the more worried about money, the farther from success.  On the contrary, the happier they are offering their services/product genuinely helping in that way the clients who need that product/service, the more successful they become.

By observing many of those examples, one has to conclude that success is not about me, on the contrary, it is about someone else.  And maybe, that is the only lesson we have to learn to become successful in our craft.  Once you have gone thru self-discovery, found your niche, heard your call … or whatever you want to call it, money should become second to helping your clients.  When you think about it, nobody wants to be seen as a dollar sign.  It seems to be more about being a genuine entrepreneur than being in business for yourself.

What Happened to Common Courtesy?

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"Rhodesian Cave Man" from Scientific...

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I thought I had seen my share of rude and inappropriate behavior, but what I saw last evening puzzled and shocked me.  My husband and I decided to grab something quick to eat at the local McDonald’s, since we were trying to beat the time.  I was filling the cups with coke at the beverage dispensing machine, which is right across from the bathroom about 25 or 30 feet.  The coke dispenser is next to the water dispenser, and then the rest of the flavors.  I finished refilling one cup and set it aside to refill the next.  A woman who had finished eating, stood next to me, said excuse me, and proceeded to wash her hands in the drinking water dispenser (next to the coke) splattering all over and almost reaching my drink.  I was shocked, frozen in disbelieve at such inconsiderate and bizarre behavior.  It was not only rude, but also gross, and lazy on her part, since the bathroom was behind her – just a few steps.

What happened to common courtesy?  This was a grown up woman.  What happened to good manners?  Are they forgotten?  Are we becoming Neanderthal and uncivilized people living in a technological society?  Maybe some people may think about this post – what is the big deal?  And I say to that – yes, it is a big deal, and maybe that is the reason good manners at home and in public are forgotten – because we think of these things lightly and have become used to them as normal behavior.  Pardon me please, but there is nothing normal about washing your hands at the beverage dispensing machine using the water refill.

Well, all I can say is that I am still shocked, hence this post, and hope that one day, we start appreciating common courtesy and good manners in our daily living, and that future parents continue to make an effort to make time and teach their children basic acceptable social behavior and common courtesy – just so our species does not reverse to the glacial period and subdivides into the early Neanderthals, Cro-magnon, or Homo sapiens.  A little dose of good manners may save our species after all.

WWJD? The Humanity of Evil

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Jesus Cleansing Temple Mormon

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This morning I visited my FB page and found a very sad and horrible picture being passed around – it was of two kids hanging a puppy and enjoying the act (for what their faces could tell).  The person(s) who shared the link was asked to keep posting it to see if these people are caught and punished.  I love animals and all living things, and in a moment of rage, I shared the picture with the plea, and used some profanity directed at the abusers.  This prompted this post.

I am not one to like that kind of language but the rage that boiled inside me when I saw the picture gave way to those words.  Then, feeling a bit sorry about my poor choice of words, I thought – In that case, WWJD?  Immediately the scene of a Jesus irate at the merchants in the temple came to mind.  Apart from his divinity, at that moment of anger, Jesus was being human – his humanity was leading his actions.  I thought, “Ok, I can’t compare myself to Jesus, but I understand why I reacted in such way – my humanity.

Then, I thought, “Wait a minute!  Why were these kids committing this crime?  Because of their human condition?  Because of the evil that we humans are capable of and let out many times?  I pondered the issue and realized that we all are capable of committing evil, whether in the name of God or the Devil (if you believe in such) or just by the fact that we are human.  My reply to the picture was “I wish they die the same way … (and other words that I not dare repeat here).  The point is that in a millisecond, out of fury, I saw myself hanging those kids and enjoying their death as punishment for killing that puppy.  At that moment, was I worst than them or equal?  I don’t know, other than I was angry at their evil act, and they were enjoying their evil act.  That is the only difference I can find.

So WWJD?  I don’t know other than I am sure that he would not just stand there watching these kids kill a puppy and I doubt that he would open his arms and say “Come here my children for you have sin.”  No, he would probably be as pissed off as he was with the merchants in the temple; however, there is nothing written as if he hit one of them or not.  Maybe that is the answer – it is fine to let your emotions out and your true feelings; however not always ok to act on them.  As humans, we are capable of acts of Love and Evil; as spiritual beings our nature is one of Love.

Daily Inspiration

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(Computer generated) Dawn at the North Pole

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Today’s post is dedicated to the Desiderata.  This is one of my favorite pieces to read over and over.  The Desiderata was written around the 1920’s by Max Ehrman, a lawyer and poet from Indiana.  Here is a link to the entire poem – http://www.sfheart.com/desiderata.html

The history of this piece is quite interesting, so I will share this link if you want to know more about it – http://www.fleurdelis.com/desidera.htm

This is certainly one my favorite pieces for inspiration and one that I turn to when I need a bit of solitude and peace – it grounds me.  I urge you to read it, you will see why.  To me, it is very important to find daily inspiration and whether it is from poetry, a picture, a painting, a song, my pets, or a beautiful scenery, it is one thing that keeps me going and puts a smile on my face.

We live in a material world, and sometimes, besides spirituality, we also need something tangible to give our senses – the scent of a flower or perfume, of a favorite food, the sound of nature or a favorite melody, the colors and shapes in a painting or the ones found at a particular spot that brings you peace and delight … All those things help ground yourself and they can become a source for tuning your soul and finding a spiritual connection in a material driven world.

The point to all this is that you don’t have to sit for hours in a yoga position (unless you enjoy this) to find a bit of grounding on your daily living, and a bit of inspiration to fuel your day.  When you pay attention to these things – you are present in the moment, and that is all .  The millisecond that went by is gone, and the future has not arrive yet.

Clothes Shopping – An Eye Opener

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Illustration depicting thought.

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I consider myself observant, and many times I look for clues on my daily living – I believe that messages are everywhere, as well as inspiration.  While wandering at a few stores, I decided to check out the clothes section, I’ve always been fond of fashion.  When I started touching the many fabrics, I noticed how thin the articles of clothing have gotten over the past year.  I compared inexpensive brands to expensive designer brands and found that this was not related to price, as the more expensive brands were also lacking in fabric thickness and even quality.  Then I wonder, why is this?

I had to ponder this some more, so once at home, I thought about it some more.  I came up with a few possible issues that may be influencing this trend.

  • Signs of the current economy – My first thought was that it is probably a reflection on the overall worldwide economy and the need for cutting costs and save on materials and manufacturing costs.
  • Signs of conservation – Then I thought that it could also mean that we are being more sparse with resources and conserving on materials, as the Earth may be lacking, due to the many climate changes that have been felt worldwide.  This has also affected production, import/export of material, and of course, money.
  • Signs of a new world order – My last thought on the issue hovered on the planet’s resources and the need for using less raw materials and the need for recycling materials, which may probably end up in products being less dense and a bit lighter, thin …  At least, if this is the case, it is a good thing that manufacturers are using less material and recycling what they can – it helps the planet.

I did not ponder the issue much more than that, most likely, it is due to a combination of factors – resources, climate, economy, production/manufacturing issues …. however, it is certainly a sign of the times.

When Quitting is the Right Option

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Stop

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I used to obsess about stuff – a book, a project …  By obsess I mean, that when I started something I had to finish it, no matter if I was enjoying it or not – in my mind, if I started, I must finish.  I read many books that I disliked or bored me to death, just because I started them.  Some people may think, “well that is not so bad; I wish I could finish stuff.”   It is bad when it sends you thru the path of a wrong career, and in the middle of your studies, you know it is the wrong path, but you keep on, because you started and must finish.  It is bad, when you doubt your instincts, your inner voice, because you must finish what you started, even when you know that may not be the right thing or path for you.  It is bad, when something that you enjoyed when you started it, does not fit your goals or persona anymore, but you must finish because you never leave things unfinished.

There are many instances when quitting is the right option, and maybe the only option, if you want to move ahead.  When something does not lift your spirit anymore and becomes a burden, maybe it is time to take a look and ask why?  Answering why is important because it will let you know if it is just a temporary stale situation, or if you have gone on the wrong direction, and must adjust your step, or stop walking on that direction entirely.  Sometimes, it is just a matter of perspective, and there is no need to quit; other times, quitting will be necessary for growth.

When I realized that doing something just for the sake of doing it, without meaning, without direction, without desire or passion, or without love, that is when I stopped reading the book that bored me half way, working at the wrong career, and just doing things that killed my spirit.  However, before you quit, you have to know your new direction, you have to know where you are headed, and be sure of the why; otherwise, you may regret it.

So, when is quitting the right option?  When you know that continuing in that path will only hurt your spirit, your self, your soul, and when you have the answer to the question Why? … and when you know that you have a sense of where your next path begins – even when sometimes, you may not know right away where it will take you.  However, before you quit, you must first turn around, and STOP!