Ponderable

Ten Things I Would Tell My Young Self if I Could Go Back in Time

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“Enjoy a plate of homemade cookies from time to time.” Photo by M.A.D.

Rainy days make good thoughts. Sometimes, I go back in time and observe the younger version of me, through my memories. I can truly detach and see her with kinder eyes, every step, dreams, goals … through good times, not so good times, and even scary times. In times of wisdom, confusion, loss, fear, naiveté, and even doubt, of happiness and growth … In moments of pure bliss and in times of desperation but always striving for more. Then I think, if I could only go back and tell her; hence, the title of this blogpost. Although there is much more that I would tell her, here are ten things (me-truths) I would definitely tell her (in no particular chronological order).

You are never too little or too much; God made you with value for Him.

Life is not a race against time; it is a celebration of time, slow down a bit.

What you truly think of yourself is more important than what other people think of you; really, it is.

It is perfectly ok not to achieve the ideal of perfection because it is a lie.

Most so-called experts make it up as they go.

One day, you too will be old, in the blink of an eye.

Evil-intentioned people do exist in real life.

Religion is man-made, but Jesus is not.

Never hand off your agency to another; never!

God will never abandon you, no matter what.

What would you tell a younger version of you?

Reflections: One Day at a Time, One Step at a Time

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Photo by M.A.D

One day at a time, one step at a time.

Life would be much more pleasant if we would live in that way. This is a lesson I learned later in life. In my younger years, multitasking and the idea of a “superwoman” who thrived on a crammed schedule and did everything to perfection was idealized. Many of us, gender aside, followed that way of living in our everyday interaction. I remember feeling “guilty” if I had “free time” to myself and even worrying that I were to become lazy if I indulged on even an hour of “unproductive” being. The years passed by, and I had become entrapped in one of the biggest lies Society sold me. When I think about it, that way of life was very materialistic in essence, even when I never saw myself as a materialistic person, on the contrary.

Today, I repeated this question, what is truly important to me? Throughout the years, the answer has been narrowed to include the issues at the core of my true values and loves. Today, I finally understand the meaning of living one day at a time, one step at a time, and from that realization, a sense of peace within that recognizes that life is not a race, and I don’t need trophies or crowns to validate my existence; God has already done so when He made me. It is beautiful to achieve dreams and to celebrate our achievements and of others as well, but not at the expense of living. The mere existence of achieving without the joy and beauty of living is contraindicating. Maybe Hans Christian Anderson understood this well.

“Just living is not enough, said the butterfly, one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” Hans Christian Anderson

Love and Light

Don’t Give Your Power Away

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Why do we give our power away so easily?

As a Christian I believe that my strength comes from Jesus; however, I also believe that every interaction and decision we make is an exchange of power and energy (physical, mental, psychological …) whether we realize it or not. The other day, I saw on the news frantic people buying eggs in large quantities. Those people were in a panic; it reflected on their faces. I thought, here we go again. A woman had an entire shopping cart full of cartons of eggs only. I thought, how many eggs can you eat? Today, I heard what a huge egg problem we have, and people are stealing eggs left and right. I thought, long gone are the days of stealing diamonds, now we steal eggs. The news report showed empty shelves, and people coming out the store carrying several large cartons of eggs, hurrying to their vehicles, some of them reflecting their satisfaction on their faces – the “great egg hunt.” These were not nuggets of gold, just eggs.

Don’t let the fearmongers take your power away; don’t let them dictate your next step and hold on to your power. You have power to decide, the power of choice. Would you die if you don’t eat eggs for a while? Of course not. There are other choices for breakfast or recipes. Unless you own a restaurant that specializes in omelets, then there is no need to buy a full shopping cart of eggs. Now, I hear, there is an egg limit imposed. If you are not happy with the price of eggs because they are insanely expensive, then make the decision, don’t include them in your budget and your shopping list for now. Eventually, this all shall pass, and you will be able to enjoy eggs at a reasonable price once more.

Sometimes, we let fear dictate our next step/behavior (any type of fear, even fear of missing out on something). With any decision/interaction you make, you exchange power (your power) for something else. Don’t let fearmongers dictate how you exert your power. Sometimes, the bait is so subtle that we don’t realize we are being pressured into an “unfair power transaction.” Next time you feel the need to run and buy eggs or –fill the blank– because there is not enough to go around for everyone, STOP, take a deep breath, and assess the transaction you are about to step into, and ask yourself, “Am I giving my God-given power away to fear?

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

The Next Season

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Photo by M.A.D.

Today, I found myself wishing that Spring was here already. Autumn and Winter used to be my favorite seasons when I lived in New Jersey. For a reason that truly eludes me, Spring and Summer have become my favorite seasons here in Virginia. Sometimes, we find ourselves thinking or wishing for the next “season” in life instead of living and being present in the season we are in. I truly believe that each season in life has something to teach us, whether that season is challenging or one of many blessings.

Many times, we rush through life unaware of our present season instead of living our best time in it. We are always thinking of a future season that may or may not materialize because none of us is guaranteed another day or even another second. We go through life making plans, worrying about the future, and ignoring all the good that the season we are in brings with it. We say things like, “time is money,” or “time is of the essence;” however, in trying to capture time, at the same time, we are letting it go. Call it the pursuit of happiness or the pursuit of wealth, or any other thing that we might spend our entire life going after, when we look back, it is all that – a pursuit through time, always wishing for another season.

“To every thing, there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV

Never Faithless

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It is with a heavy heart that I write today. My thoughts and prayers have revolved around the issue that is pressing on the heart of the residents of Chatham and Pittsylvania County, VA. It took us by surprise, concealed by a non-disclosure clause on a real estate transaction, the sale of 2200 acres of agricultural land that surrounds our small community. The proposed rezoning of the land from residential and agricultural to heavy Industrial hit our hearts, minds, and souls as a venomous spear at high speed. The company called Balico LLC wants to build a monstrosity of a project that will have severe repercussions in our little farming community. Here is a picture of a flier that shows you the immensity of this project, a heresy, an abomination in my honest opinion. The area in red that surrounds all tax parcels in our community is where an enormous gas-powered power plant (300 mw site) that will be powered directly by the Mountain Valley Pipeline that crosses our area will exist. Besides the 3.5 GW power plant, the project also proposes a switchyard, a wastewater treatment facility, and a substation (in 13 acres reserved for those), but also 84 large data centers (numbers keep changing between 70-84 depending on the news source, whether70 or 84, it is one too many) that will each one measure 394,000 sf by 40 feet tall approximately. This will all be built around our community, some residents having it next door, while others, like me, will be smacked right in the center of it, surrounded by it on all sides. Mitsubishi turbines will be used according to the developer. I think the power plant will also include 9 gigantic towers that will expel smoke into the air. As you can see in the map, hell is colored in red. The developer thinks that this project will benefit the community and provide many jobs, which I doubt because it will mostly be run by computers. The construction of this monstrosity will take around 10 years or so of disruption to this community, the pain before the pain.

Proposed site for gas-powered power plant and data centers.

By now, you realize how threatened our way of life is, and around here, we like our way of life very much. Many of us moved here for the beauty of the area, the fresh air, and all the blessings the land offers. Many residents have lived here all their lives and have no desire to move anywhere else, while others who have moved away at some point, have returned home. Our home is being threatened by the greed of heartless companies and overseas investors who try to sell benefits and financial prosperity to peaceful communities like ours, all lies, and deceit covered in the stench coming out of their deep pockets. Large numbers of residents continue to oppose this abomination, making their voices and sentiment in various meetings and posting signs in their homes and roads. For now, the developer pulled out the project, only to send another proposal right away.

Sign posted on our road.
Signs like these “adorn” our community now.

This proposed project will affect our community in many ways. The destruction of our land, the pollution of our fresh air and water. Our water and soil will be disturbed and polluted. Two main creeks are in the path of this project. We depend on our water wells. The dependance on public water will hurt the pockets of many residents on a fixed income, certainly another bill that they don’t need. The natural beauty of our countryside will be destroyed. Our real estate values will plummet. Our flora and fauna will be displaced and threatened (so much for Chatham being a bona fide bird sanctuary). There will be sound pollution, for what I understand by the research of our community residents, equivalent to the decibels of a constant running vacuum cleaner. Imagine having that 24/7 in your ears. Our dark skies adorned by stars will be hidden by the light pollution emanating from such a large site. Our farming land will be slowly poisoned. Our health will suffer. Our community will suffer, because no one in their right mind will want to come and live here or even visit the poison pit that Chatham will become (so much for the plans of our town’s revitalization project). And at worst, the imminent threat of eminent domain. Only time will tell the price that we will pay by welcoming this in our town. The losses will certainly be greater than the “benefits.” This project is suitable for another area that is not as rural/farmed, and residential as this one. It truly doesn’t belong here. It hurts more than it benefits a community of people who deeply love their home and country. All over the United States, our farmers are being disrespected by companies/investors who only care about the health of their bank accounts. Next time you are sitting to have dinner at home, think how important these farmers are. Whoever controls the land, controls your food, and by default, your livelihood, and ultimately, your freedom. These data centers are popping everywhere, with disregard of suitability of location, and that is the important issue.

If you would like to help our fight, you can sign a petition https://www.change.org/p/prevent-the-construction-of-the-proposed-power-plant-and-data-centers-in-chatham-va

Your prayers for our community will be appreciated very much.

Never faithless.

It is the Little Things

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Photo by M.A.D.

It is the little things that make life sweet. If we only waited for the big things, the big successes, the big surprises, or the extraordinary things to be present, living would not be as sweet and meaningful. The little things that we sometimes fail to notice or take for granted, usually in the pursuit of something bigger, are the ones that take our breath away when we are present enough in living to notice them. An unexpected bloom in winter, the sunray illuminating the face of a child, the play of light and shadow in the woods at dusk … these are countless, unlimited moments that sweeten one’s day, when we care to notice. A big achievement brings joy, and a sense of pride and satisfaction, but it is the little things that remain after the big moment has passed. It is these little things and moments in life what refreshes a weary soul, sweetens a hectic day, and appease a restless spirit.

Love and Light

On Politics and Elections

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Although this post pertains to people in the United States of America, some of its content might be applied broadly. On November the 5th the voice of many Americans will be heard as they cast their votes. Some of us have voted earlier and anxiously await the moment when our next president is elected. On this topic, and many more, there is great division in this country of ours (key word, ours). “Ours” because no matter who wins or not, we are one people, and most of us truly love this country. The day we stop loving it, we will stop casting our collective vote. This is the topic for today.

Many Americans will not vote on this election for many reasons, but one that I have heard is that they don’t like any of the candidates. Although some people vote for a party, many others desire a “perfect match” between party and candidate, a tall order in this election. There are no perfect candidates; there are no perfect people, just candidates, just people. Both candidates are flawed, both have good characteristics as well. We cannot expect them to “save” us, but the one thing we can do is cast our vote for the candidate that aligns with our values the closest, whatever those values happen to be. We are created with free will by the Creator of it all, the One who loves all His creation.

When in doubt, if hesitant, make a list of the major points/issues that each of the candidates have on their agenda for the country. Vote on the issues that are important to you and the ones that align with your beliefs/values. Focus on the issues, not so much the candidate. Whoever our president might be, he or she will not be perfect, far from it; however, you would have served your country by casting your vote of truth. Vote for love of country.

The Influence of People in Your Life

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Influence – to affect or change how someone or something develops, behaves, or thinks. (Cambridge Dictionary)

We are in the information era; however, I think we are a bit further along than that. We are in the influence era. Although we have always been influenced by others, whether family, friends, education, marketing, politics, religion … it is now when “influencers” are found everywhere, at every level of society, and even recognized as an occupation, that is, thanks to the development of the internet, and with it, social media venues. However, artificial intelligence is adding another layer to this era of influence, and this is only the beginning. I think that all markets will be changed by this in a significant way. In my opinion, we are entering a new era.

Aside from this, we have always been influenced by something or someone, directly or indirectly. The adage, “Birds of a feather flock (fly) together”, speaks of this influence. Who we allow in our close circle, whether we realize it or not, will influence us in a positive or negative way. Even when we think that we are strong enough to remain neutral in our relationships, there is always a part that is influenced by the other person(s). Sometimes, by the time we realize the type, depth, and degree of such influential forces, some damage has been done. Whom we have listened to, walk with, and entertained in life, those influences, have molded some of our responses/decisions, and views in life. Sometimes, an influential relationship will be beneficial, other times, the opposite, and years of such relationship(s) will affect, change, our development. It is usually after a long period of time that we begin to realize how a particular relationship influenced our outlook and behavior as well, and down the road, many of the results we observe in life due to choices we have made. This is not to blame others for our own choices, but to recognize the power of influences in our daily living. I have heard many times that “you become who you befriend.” You can develop a positive outlook or a “poor and doom” mentality. The other day, I was listening to someone talk, and every other word was can’t, never … words along those lines. I understood what was being said behind the scenes.

We are social beings, we tend to form groups, and we have a basic need for belonging. How that need is filled is up to us, as adults, that is. When I watch the news, and I see so much turmoil, hate, irrational behavior, verbal and physical attacks, and other less than civilized behavior, I see “influence” at play. When there is extreme polarity, taking sides becomes harder for the observer. The least of two evils might not be enough. Values are there for a reason, a sort of compass, but those values are subject to influences throughout our life. White or black might not be enough, and gray seems a forced compromise sometimes.

Blaming others (influencers) for our choices is denying personal responsibility and eventually, hindering our growth as human beings; it diminishes our humanity, and in a way, our ability to recognize influential forces in our lives, including our own. We reject our free-will, our most precious gift and essence.

Life’s Lemons

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For the purpose of this post, I will use an allegory. Ever heard the saying, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade?” It is certainly a positive outlook, but many people see the lemonade making as one time event. What if you are tiered of life’s lemons? What if you are just tired of making lemonade? What if you just don’t care about making any more lemonade because you are just not up to it anymore? Life is unpredictable, and some of us don’t get one or two lemons, we get an entire orchard. Life is not fair, and maybe, by now you are just tired of making lemonade and drinking it too. You have reached the point of letting these lemons rot, and you don’t even care if they stink.

Many of us have been there at one point or another, and if not, count yourself blessed and be grateful for it. Society expects people to grab the juicer and start making lemonade right away, many times in the midst of a lemon rainfall. If we don’t, we are “lacking courage” or are labeled of “too little faith,” or many other things. Many times, we are expected to bounce back at the blink of an eye, and we are bombarded with positive thinking messages and expectations, as if we are being rushed to get well and function again; it is expected. It is what people do, to bounce back from a “sour episode” as soon as possible, to keep going on, to keep on living. And that is what we want to do. Deep inside we wish that tomorrow was different as quickly as possible. It is harder when other people depend on us.

Every person is different, and we all react in similar or not too similar ways to life’s situations. The way I see it is that we know our own internal temperature; we know our life’s speed, and we know how hurt and affected we have been by an avalanche of lemons. Or maybe, one large lemon is all it takes to weaken our strength and make us doubt our own courage. Besides God, we are the only ones to know how we truly feel, how hard we did fall, and how much time until we can even stand up, much more give that first step again. We should not feel pressured by the growing line in front of our lemonade stand. If any pressure, it should be our own desire or eagerness to join the land of the happy living again.

Whether or not we are ready to make lemonade, in our terms that is, we should consider a few things. We don’t have to make lemonade right away, and we don’t have to make it alone. There are people standing in line at the lemonade stand that are willing to go behind the counter and help us make lemonade; some might even cheer us up while we try. We just have to let them know how thin and fragile our glass is at the time, so they don’t stir too fast in their eagerness to help. But most important, we have the help and love of the Creator of it all (of the lemons, the lemonade stand, the lemon-makers, the helpers …) and He is certainly waiting patiently and lovingly for us to make the sweetest lemonade of all.

Perfect Timing

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Although we had a mild winter, for some reason, it feels a long one. We had a bit of a cool down this week, and even frost overnight. I am glad that I did not jump ahead and planted any veggies, otherwise the timing would have been wrong.

In life, perfect timing seems to be an important issue, more than money or drive. How many times people have had all the money and resources, but it was just not the “right time?” Whatever the project or venture, it did not come to fruition. Immediately, we tend to label it as failure, and even label ourselves as such. What was important for us were results. We forget quickly about the journey, all the effort, work, and focus we put into a project. As if that doesn’t count at all. We only see that we failed. Simply put, results were more important than the journey itself. By disregarding our journey, we forget the lessons learned, and sometimes, the lesson is more important than the result we were hoping for, but we fail to see it because we are too focused on the outcome. After all, we labor hard for something, right? Most people do. We trade something for something else. Time for money, money for things … In the meantime, we forget all that we learned, and how it shaped us. Because we are so conditioned to trade something for something, when we trade our hard work and effort, our mental focus, even emotional energy, and something does not materialize at the end, we blame and label ourselves as failure, and even punish ourselves deep in our hearts. We end up feeling frustrated, tired, lost, and another mental game starts. We think that there must be something wrong with us because we start comparing ourselves to others who have obtained the results we wanted and worked so hard, even sacrificed for, but never materialized. Once we jump into that rollercoaster, our self-esteem is (naturally) going to suffer; then, our trust and believe in ourselves are lost.

What is perfect timing? Many define it as being in the right place at the right time, other people as a kiss from Lady Luck. I define it as learning to be quiet enough that I can see the picture, appreciate the lesson, and wait for the direction that God has for me. I view perfect timing as God’s timing, separate from my human perception of how things should be and end. Learning that has made a difference in my life and how I define success and failure. Perfect timing is God’s speed.