Ponderable

For Better or for Worst … Love Needs to Be Shared

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For better or for worst, in sickness or in health, in good times and bad times … We are familiar with this sentence, at least if you are married or attended a wedding, saw one on TV, and do not live under a rock.  Love needs to be shared under all those conditions.  The divorce statistics may point to the contrary.

I don’t consider myself an eavesdropper, but I am amused by the conversations I get to listen to when I am waiting online, at a Dr.’s office, post office … Many times, you hear “the bashing of the love one,” – good title for a song.  Men or women, they all do it, they express their dissatisfaction with the love in their lives.  True or not, it is a matter of perspective for many – discounting abuse cases, of course.

The point is, we are sometimes quick to judge our loved ones.  Quick to request perfection, when what we are looking for is a companion who will take us seriously in good times and in bad times.  The following questions offer much insight.

  • Does he/she listens when you talk (when you truly talk)?
  • Does he/she cares, even when it doesn’t show?
  • Does he/she want to be with you forever?
  • Do you see the good in him/her?  Is is more than the flaws?
  • Did you once felt that the two of you could tackle everything, the world?
  • Do you feel tired?
  • Do you need to step back and look at the whole picture?
  • Do you believe?
  • Do you need to ask/answer these questions?

Sometimes, the answers can be found in the questions.

The Candle of Love

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It is a new year and many of us have many resolutions and goals.  We celebrated the end of 2010 and the spark of receiving a new year brought hope of better things to come and new beginnings.  Once the New Year rolled in, we woke up to find out that the same routine was there.  The question is, “Did it bother you?”  “Did you feel uninspired, disappointed?”

Sometimes we take away the joy ourselves; we let the candle of Love diminish, dim, and we don’t breathe on it to keep it going.  This can be applied to any areas of our lives – work, friendships, marriage …  It is easy to fall into a routine and stop appreciating what we do, what we have … Many times there is nothing wrong with it, but we have stopped blowing the candle to sparkle its fire.

This year I set many goals, but one for sure is to continue blowing on my candle to make it sparkle just enough to appreciate my life under its light.

Blessing Your Surroundings with Your Soul’s Creation

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The title of this post may sound a bit dramatic; however, it is the opposite – it is more about simplicity in your daily routine.  On an earlier post, I talked about creation for and with love.  Blessing your surroundings with your soul’s creations is related to that love.  Doing things lovingly for you, your family, and everyone who will share your surroundings is part of that love.  However, there are many ways in which you can enrich your surroundings, and one of them is by being creative in what you do.

We live hurried lives, and many times we function on the auto mode.  By minding the moment and giving it your own touch (creativity) you will enhance the mood, the moment, the task …  When you do this you operate from simplicity, and you bless your surroundings thru your creative spirit.  A simple task of washing dishes (or loading the dishwasher) can become significant, as opposed to being a menial task.  Creativity comes in many forms, visual and non-visual, as a colorful arrangement of fresh-cut flowers at the dinning table or as a gentle breeze flowing thru an open window.

As you continue to bless your surroundings with your creativity, inspiration will continue to flow.

Censor Yourself

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I made one of my goals not to entertain negative talking of any kind.  Negative talking just sucks your energy out – energy that you need to be creative and get better at what you do best.  With so many people around you exuding negativity or not into positive talk, how do you do that?  It is simple, by making the effort.  You may catch yourself giving in into negative thinking or negative talk – and when you do, change the tune, change the channel, reverse the process.

If other people start talking negative around you, excuse yourself if possible, if not, change the conversation.  If changing the conversation does not work, then kindly and in a friendly tone say that you have made your personal goal not to talk about anything that is not positive.  This will put the ball on your court, as your personal project, and the other person will not be offended.  In addition, you are not mentioning the word negative, you are just saying “anything that is not positive,” so the person doesn’t feel attacked.

It may be difficult in the beginning, but I have found that when I am around any type of negative talk, I feel drained and sad, so I decided to cut that issue.  This does not mean that you cannot lend a friendly ear to a friend that is going through a hard situation.  This is different; it means the kind of talk that does not edify, puts you down or anybody else, and has no true meaning.

I have found that when I am around negative people my creativity suffers.  You can find negative people anywhere – post office, supermarket, work … sometimes even making small talk while waiting on line at the store.  I remember this line from an episode of the old series Kung Fu – “When words are not better than silence, it is best not to pronounce them.”  I was a kid when I watched the series, but for some reason, that phrase stood with me until adulthood.  It is good advice.

The Blessing of Each Day

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We are by instinct, a species that will do anything to survive.  We survive the Ice age, and the human race continues to evolve, learn, invent, create, destroy, love, hate …. and survive.  In tragedy or hardship, we seem to bring the best and the worst of us; we help others, injure others … and we keep on going – surviving.  The survival instinct is ingrained in us very deeply; however, one thing puzzles me – we fail to live every day.

We live daily, sometimes in a daze.  We go thru the motions, like zombies in a hurry.  We wake up each day, sometimes in a frenzy.  We fail to acknowledge the blessing of each day (me included).  Why (as species who will fight for survival) we seem to forget of everyday living?  Do we take living for granted?  How can we be sure that when we go to sleep, we will wake up the next day?  There is no guarantee to that, we know it, we ignore it.  Each day is a huge blessing – no matter what it will bring.  If you opened your eyes today, you were given life.

Trust, Be Still, Listen

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We live hurried lives, and at times, we think that multitasking and 24/7 doing is the answer to moving on, moving up, or getting it right.  Doing is good; goals without a plan and a purpose stay stagnant.  However, there are times when we must trust, be still, and listen to what Spirit – God – or what you want to call it – has to say to us.  All we have to do is ask, trust, be still, and listen.  Many times, the simple things are the hardest to do.

Monks have mastered the art of meditation and listening.  We think that it is impossible for us to master such high art; maybe, because we are approaching it from the hardest point of view.  When we slow down and learned to trust the divine voice inside us, learn to quiet ourselves down, and listen to it, there are new insights to our situation, question, or concern.

Maybe the hardest part is for us to trust.  To trust that what we have asked, pondered, or dreamed is just around the corner if only we would be still and listen to Spirit.

Focusing Effort

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I have found thru my experience that effort without focus is just hard work without results.  We are raised thinking that hard work is all it takes, coupled with effort and dedication.  Although those are very important ingredients, those have to be focused, directed, and sometimes redirected to accomplish what we want. 

It is easy to get distracted into a ton of effort – I am guilty of it – and forget our focus or take our eye from the target.  It can happen while we are pursuing the target or it can happen without even noticing.  One day, the target gets blurry, and the vision needs to become clear again.  If we are lucky, or in tune with Spirit, we recognize that we need to clean our lenses and re-focus.  This time it becomes a bit easier, because you know how easy it is to lose focus while working hard.  In the end, you emerge a bit wiser, more alert, and thank God for waking you up.

Move! Motion Gives Life

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Motion

Bodies were made to be in motion.  Motion is creation, so if you move, you start the chain of creation.  To move is like mechanics, but more as in the spiritual level.  Spirit is not quiet and stuck in a place – Spirit moves around and while moving around it creates.

A body in motion invites Spirit because blood flows; blood is life – life is energy – energy is the fuel for Spirit.  Got it?

Small Steps – Every Day

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I used to get frantic trying to do everything at once.  Worried to the point of becoming stressed, even about the things I could not control.  It took me a while to realize that there is “time for everything under the sun.”  I had read that many times, but never grasped the deep significance the phrase had. 

We go nuts multitasking and running around trying to get everything done.  In the end, we feel burned out and unhappy, the colors of life lose their brightness, and there is no music to our day – just the hurried stomps of our feet as we run like robots without a cause.

It took me a while to realize that small steps everyday accomplish a lot.  Sometimes, even the best antidote against procrastination.  Small steps everyday take you closer to your dreams and goals, and let you feel and see some progress.  Today, I don’t run with the pack, I take small steps, but surely, and everyday – I am happier that way.

Just Be

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What would happen if we allowed ourselves to just be?  To do as we genuinely felt and not as we tought we would look better in front of others?  What would happen if we acted by true care as opposed to having to care?  I think we would be happier, and only give the best of us to others by just being. 

Being genuine to yourself entails being true to others as well as your own self.  It is applying the golden rule.  Many times, we covet the ideal lives of others – the successes that we view as perfect lives – without realizing that the only way that we can meet a fullness of life is if we just be. 

When we embrace ourselves, our creativity, our spirituality, and our physical state of being, along with our lives, we are in the path of becoming what we are to become – of being as real as we can be – of fulfilling our purpose as human and spiritual beings.

When we write, many times we worry about rules, about sounding like our favorite best-selling author, or about setting writing goals according to somebody else’s standards.  However, we forget one important thing, that life, goals, writings, and anything else that goes with it, will not mean anything if they are not centered and meant for the true self and its true purpose. 

 Just be and the rest will follow is a good way of approaching life, but in our way to letting the true self shine, we can strive to better each day by asking ourselves – Am I letting myself be?