The Sum of Your Life

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An adorable visitor (Photo by M.A.D.)

Ever met someone who has gone through many vicissitudes in life? Somehow, knowing some of the details allows one to understand better the character of that person. I have met people who have been through many sad experiences in life and somehow, they seem to have a good and grounded personality. I am dumbfounded by the ones who have had a pretty good life since childhood and still manage to complain about how unfair life is and how it should be better. The first group of people is usually more grateful, and the later seems to be somewhat unhappy and in perpetual discontentment. It puzzles me. Does the sum of one’s life determine character? I think it determines the level of growth and maturity.

As a writer, I treasure the moments when I get to know someone a bit better in the details of a conversation, even if it is a brief conversation with a stranger. I know that I will never experience many situations in life that other people might have but knowing and interacting with people will make for better character building in writing. I always thought that psychologists could be good developers of characters if not writers because they have access to a range of human emotions and behavior.

Knowing the details or a bit more of the sum of someone’s life allows me to be less judgmental of others and more sympathetic. Think about the sum of your life up until now, how has it influenced the development of your character/personality? If you are “here-now” and are able to go back in time to answer this question honestly, consider yourself blessed.

Happy Autumn!

A Nice Start to the Season

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The first day of Autumn is here and signs of it are starting to show up around. There are hardly any birds around and the night songs of critters are slowly dwindling, and the Katydids are gone. Squirrels are busy and the nights are becoming cooler, nice crisp air that I love for certain. The not so welcomed critters will be here as well, stink bugs and the large migration of Japanese lady beetles. That is one thing I certainly dislike about the season.

A nice start to the season that I have been waiting for a few years now has finally materialized, and that is the harvesting of grapes from our one and only grape vine. For me, this is significant because I bought the lonely plant at Aldi’s at half price and almost dead. I just wanted to give it a chance. I planted it and it took well. The first year it just grew and spread its branches, the next year a few single grapes showed up but nothing to hope for, and on the third year a significant number of grapes hung from its large and steady branches; however, as they grew and matured approaching harvest time, all grapes disappeared overnight. I blamed deer but we had a fence. My neighbor was disappointed as well because we were waiting to taste the grapes. My husband and I decided to trim the plant all the way and retrained it to get it away from the fence. That meant another year without grapes. This year, I could see all the grapes, tons of them, and I was fearful that what had happened once would be repeated. I kept tasting them every few weeks to be sure when to pick them, but I missed the perfect timing, after all, it was my first time harvesting grapes. I skipped a few weeks of tasting grapes, and in the process, I lost a ton of them that were ready, many. However, the wasps, bees, and butterflies have been enjoying the mushy grapes, and not all was lost because the vine produced so many grapes that we were still able to collect a wheelbarrow full. We rinsed the grapes three times and kept a large bowl for us and gave the rest to my sister and neighbors.

I learned a few things during the process: never give up on a plant just by looks, it was an exercise in patience, butterflies love grape juice, who knew? Expect to deal with many different critters during harvest, and mushy fermented fallen grapes smell like strong wine. It was certainly an interesting process. My sister tasted the grapes, and she said that the taste was similar to Chateau Morrisette wine, which she loves. She got the largest bag of grapes, of course. Here are a few pictures of the little vine that could.

Early beginnings (photo by M.A.D.)
Growing and becoming stronger (Photo by M.A.D.)
Each year it grew fuller (photo by M.A.D.)
Starting all over, being retrained (photo by M.A.D.)
A “deer” fan (Photo by M.A.D.)
Finally, grapes galore! (Photo by M.A.D.)
Despite losing a large amount, we were able to collect five large pots of grapes. (Photo by M.A.D.)

In hindsight, I also learned that one’s life is a bit like a grapevine. I hope you enjoyed this post and that it inspires you to plant a tiny grapevine.

A Poor Mentality

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A poor mentality has little to do with money. It relates to vision, how we see the world and relate to it, and that world encompasses our past, present, and future. Our past shapes much of our personality traits but does not determine who we are. Its influence marks us but does not make us. Depending on our past experiences, we view the world as a battlefield or a field of flowers. Simply put, some people had it better than other people; however, that does not determine who we become ultimately. It does influence how we view our present and future, and the struggles we seem to endure, many real, other self-created. If we have developed a poor mentality, our vision will be cloudy and we will be in constant struggle, no matter our true reality.

Not long ago, I had a conversation with someone who struggles with a poor mentality despite blessings. This person was telling me how difficult things are financially, and overall, complaining about life in general. I listened, trying to understand this person’s point of view about the situation. I understood that this person had life challenges but also was very blessed at the same time. Knowing part of this person’s net worth I decided to bring some focus to the overall reality, hoping to ease some of the anxiety. I said, ” I don’t know how much money is in your bank account, but I can tell you about the assets you have that I am aware of, and for what I can tell, your real estate net worth is close to two million dollars according to real estate market value right now, possibly more. “ (I had a RE license when I was younger). This person remained a bit quiet, then said, “Do you think so?” I answered, “I know so, and that is only your properties’ market value, which are already paid in full, and you own straight.” That was the end of that, because this person totally dismissed the information I had just shared and continued to complain about how unfair life was. I was puzzled, but I offered my ears. I also knew that this person made double what my husband and I made monthly. This conversation was an eye opener for me. I understood that a poor mentality will keep your mind captive, jailed, and close the doors to much more than opportunity but also to joy, gratefulness, and in a way, to reality.

I share this real example because it truly shows how dangerous a poor mentality can be, and how blinding as well. It causes us to believe that our hands are tied when the solution is in front of us. It makes us victims when we are blessed. It robs our happiness when we have plenty to be grateful and happy about. It darkens our days. It shuts our mind. It dampens our spirit. It makes us believe what is not real and robs us of hope and much more.

Survival Mode

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The topic of survival is one that I have included in my novels. It is interesting to see how survival can bring out the best or worst in people. It separates heroes from the not so good characters. So is in real life, although I believe that there is redemption for everyone. When a person is in survival mode, it forces the individual to act one way or the other; it brings about the truth of that person. In other words, you cannot fake it when you are in survival mode. It forces you to be what you already are. It shows a person’s true colors.

I will venture to say that in today’s USA, many people are in survival mode, probably more people than we realize. Younger generations are having a tough time keeping up with a very high and unrealistic cost of living and many people are working two plus jobs and hardly making it. Young couples simply cannot afford giving birth because hospital care is simply unaffordable. Food prices, daycare costs, and rent or home prices are truly out of reach for most of the younger generation. It is simple very different from what it was for other generations. In simple words, this generation is being hit from all angles. Most politicians fail to see the struggle, or they are simply not in touch with reality out there. People are struggling to keep a roof over their head and put food on the table, even the most frugal people. Most of Americans are in survival mode. Many people are truly doing all they can, working all they can, and cutting costs as much as they can, and they are still not making it. The disparage and disproportion between wages, education, and labor is ridiculous. The middle class is slowly disappearing in this country. It is easy to put a blindfold and label a generation of being lazy without considering all factors and influences at play.

I have always been an observer by nature. How many times have I witnessed someone at the supermarket leave just a few groceries because the card did not take? How many times have I heard a mother tell her child, “Sorry honey, we don’t have enough for “this” today;” “this” being a food item, not a toy? How many times have I witnessed someone staring blank at the insane prices in the meat isle at the supermarket, a hopeless stare followed by bypassing the product section, or even putting groceries back? I can tell you more examples, from couples quietly arguing about food, to older people with less than five items in the food cart, oh, so much more. Food is a basic need, and people can’t even eat in what we call the richest country in the world. Many people are in denial, but that is just a coping mechanism when you are or are about to be in survival mode.

If you have ever been in survival mode and have come through, you know well that there is a lesson to be learned from all of it, and most likely, you recognize that lesson. Most likely, you come out with a sense of gratefulness, stronger, and wiser. Most likely, you have learned about yourself, your true self, and the things that are not to be taken for granted anymore. Most likely, there is a sense of renewal and hope, of clarity and inner peace, and a healthy dose of pride after surviving the event. Having experienced survival mode at one time in my life, I can say that faith is an important component to make it through, that is, faith in yourself, and faith in a higher power. Don’t forget to count your blessings because they are many, in any circumstance.

This Old Farmhouse

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One thing that we have learned by living here is that we are never completely done as far as projects and unexpected things. This year, we have put some projects aside and have decided to “listen to the house” and see what it wants, and evaluate if after years of living in it, our vision is still aligned with it or if we should adjust or deviate from some projects. One of the things we realized is that because we have agreed to age in this house until a certain point, a bedroom on the first floor would be necessary, eventually, thus posing the dilemma of assigning different uses to rooms. It is also time to refresh the paint, and rethink previous choices.

Turning 60 did something to me, an overnight change that I was not expecting. My husband thinks that one of the “pods” exploded overnight and replaced me. I am not sure why, but suddenly life takes another meaning. It presents new possibilities but also grounds you as far as “real time.” What was so important might not be as important anymore, and priorities shift. Time is seen and valued in a different perspective, but also, not taken for granted. Other things don’t seem to matter or bother me anymore. What was, becomes questionable and what is, seems to take another meaning; somehow, what will be does not occupy center place anymore. Complacency or peaceful arrival? It doesn’t even matter. Likes and dislikes changed overnight or at least feels like they did. A new person emerges out of a years’ slumber. Everything is questionable and all is well. Battles are chosen or not at all. That is the best way I can describe it. This of course, affects how I see and interact with my new discovered environment.

We have halted some projects, reviewed others, and scrapped a few. This year, we have not proceeded with any new projects, only clean up, some minor painting, and future considerations. We did not plant anything. This old farmhouse is on standby for now. We have tons of grapes in the grapevine ready to be harvested soon, and picked tons of blueberries, but only a few strawberries this year.

Summer Yummy

We transplanted one of the little cedars that I was growing in a pot. The other two went to my sister’s home. So far, it is doing fine in its new spot in the ground.

The king of the trees

Spring was lovely around here. It has rained a lot during Spring and Summer. Today, we have cooler temperatures, but overall, it was not a hot summer, with the exception of a couple of weeks. The garden did very well.

The weather was on and off; we even had a small rainbow in the backyard while it was pouring rain, and the sun was out, all at the same time.

Lucky charm. One of the most beautiful sights of a very close and low rainbow. I regret not stepping outside and try to “touch it,” but it was raining hard while the sun was fully out.

For now, we are concentrating our efforts on doing some painting indoors and working out the idea of converting the living room into a bedroom and rethinking the downstairs arrangement. No new outdoor projects are taking place for the remainder of this year. Overall, it has been a very pleasant Spring and Summer, and I have enjoyed this year’s mild weather. I am looking forward to the next two seasons.

The Real Jesus, and What He Was Not

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I have seen a lot of confusion, misinformation, and misinterpretation around what people believe Jesus was like. This is in part because these days and for a long time, Christianity has been corrupted, and by that, I mean that Jesus’ core message has been manipulated and corrupted in many ways, and by many so-called Christian leaders. I am a Christian and you might think I am biased, but on the contrary, I approach my faith with an open mind and what I believe does not come from a preacher’s mouth; instead, I focus on the Jesus persona, what He was like, his teachings, and how He lived his life during the time He was on Earth. I also look at the resurrection and what He was like after that event. In other words, I have studied and still do, His life and words that are recounted on the first four books of the New Testament on the traditional bible. These books are Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John. These books give detail on Jesus’ life, each written from a unique perspective.

When reading these four books, I can see how Jesus interacted with all kinds of people, and the different situations He encountered and how He lived through them, in other words, His example. One thing I have found is that He operated in love all the time, as well as kindness. He was not judgmental when a sinner approached Him, on the contrary, He was kind and understanding. Jesus always said the right thing. He did not boast his money, and He had it; remember the gifts from the three kings? These were some of the most expensive gifts back then, and I imagine these kings did not present whom they thought was the savior/king with just a few items of gold … more like a big load. Most people think He was poor, the image we have been sold. So instead of acting like an inflated baboon, Jesus humbled himself and saw everyone as a person worth relating to and knowing. He interacted with prostitutes, thieves, tax collectors (who were truly despised back then), the very sick, the lepers whom everybody avoided, the backstabbers, the adulterers, the money lovers, the quick in temper … and so on.

These four books are filled with all kinds of situations that people might encounter in their lives at any time and place in history. How Jesus navigated these situations is the best example of Christianity, and that is how Christianity came to be, out of His message to all. Today, and throughout history, we have seen examples of so-called Christians who act in the name of Christianity, and their actions are the opposite of what Jesus was and taught. I truly understand when people want to stay away from Christianity. It is because what they perceive, as the message of Jesus has been corrupted, diluted, manipulated by many religious groups that operate in hate, judgement and a “small mind,” thus completely out of love.

There is a very popular saying -WWJD- What would Jesus do? This simple question brings us back to the core of Jesus’ message. The only way to know what this message truly was is to study His life, how He lived and what He said. That is true Christianity, the real Jesus.

It is About Focus and Faith

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While researching, I came across the following quote, which inspired this blogpost.

“Dictatorships are one-way streets. Democracy boasts two-way traffic.” Alberto Moravia

While reading the above quote, these poetic lines came to mind.

A People’s Will

Soaring above, keen eye, unsteady flight

Eagle must rest on steady land.

Time to choose,

One way street or two-way traffic.

Alberto Moravia was an Italian writer, whom I am not familiar with or have read any of his works; however, this quote stuck with me. It inspired the following.

Many times, people become discouraged by the current political environment. It might affect people in many different ways, whether mentally, emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. There are many things we cannot control directly; however, we can always control how we react to certain issues, events, and our environment. When we focus on what we can control in our daily lives, our focus change, and so does our response and attitude. What I write here, I have applied myself.

Here are examples of controllables. These controllables apply to many of the issues that we might be experiencing under less than pleasant conditions.

I can control,

A healthy diet and exercise

All my decisions

How I decide to start my day and end it

My thoughts

My spending

My relationship with God

My reaction to the people I interact with, or whom I choose to include in my circle

How I choose to view each challenge/problem

How I manage all my resources

How I choose to live my life

My degree of gratitude each day

What I give my time and effort to

The battles I choose to fight or not

How I view my space, my home, my possessions, with gratitude or not

How I value my life

The priorities and values I set daily

How I manage my time and money

My dreams

My expectations of myself, others, and life

The guilt I put on myself and others

What I let into my mind and space

The physical things I surround myself with

How I treat myself (level of respect, love and understanding) as well as others.

These are only a few controllables, but in my opinion and experience, the most important ones, and the ones that will help center our focus when times are not what we expect or desire.

Victory, Our Community Celebrates

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This Independence Day celebration will certainly be sweeter for the residents of our little town, Chatham, VA, and also our neighbors throughout Pittsylvania County. Our hearts rejoice as one as we realized that as a community, we have defeated a proposed power plant and data center of enormous proportions. I am sharing this article found on SELC (Southern Environmental Law Center) which highlights our fight and victory as a community, and also their valuable research about the great environmental and health damage that such proposal would have caused, not only to our community but to extended areas, as far as North Carolina. You can find the article here .

As AI continues to grow and develop, the need for data centers will increase, and small rural communities will be targeted. It is up to the residents of these communities to weigh the pros and cons of these proposed projects, and the benefits, if any, and make their voices heard, whether they welcome this industry with open arms or not. It is important for leaders of a community to listen to the residents and place these issues on a balance, for a just and satisfactory resolution.

I hope you enjoy reading the SELC’s article referred above.

Connecting with History and My Roots

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Legends that bring you back (Photo by M.A.D.)

I am currently reading this book of Puerto Rican legends by Dr. Cayetano Coll Y Toste, a well-known historical figure in the Island. It was a gift from my aunt, and it is in the Spanish language, which helps me reconnect and brush up (it is easy to forget particular words, an accent, or the placement of a punctuation mark, when one has been immersed on another language, as primary for many years.) as well. The book is a compilation by his son Cayetano Coll Cuchi, with notations throughout. The book starts with a detailed biography and is followed by short legends rich in history and cultural influences, as well as the values during that time that permeate the pages throughout.

Dr. Cayetano Coll Y Toste was a medical doctor, historian, writer, and political figure. He was born in 1850 in Arecibo, Puerto Rico, and died in 1930 in Madrid, Spain. He also held many other civil and governmental positions in the Island and throughout the transitional time when Puerto Rico became part of the United States as a result of the Spanish-American war (1897). His love of country and dedication to the culture and history of Puerto Rico are very apparent through this collection of legends.

If you are fluent in the language and want to learn a bit more about the history and values of the Island at the time, through these legends that reflect the atmosphere back then, which was a mixture of Spanish culture (Spain) and the American influences that came after, this is a great read. Through the pages, you become immerse in those times. Puerto Rican culture is very rich and complex due to the many influences, not only political but also, of the many worldwide cultures that blended in during those times, from discovery through colonization and beyond. It is why Puerto Ricans are so diverse. I am enjoying this book very much and this one is a keeper in my personal collection.