Why Can’t I Have my Cake and Eat it Too?

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I have never been able to understand the expression “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”  It doesn’t make sense to me, and I always end up thinking “Why can’t I?”  Although it may mean that you cannot have your cake intact or whole and eat it at the same time, referring to wanting the best of two worlds or wanting more than you can handle, or even having it both ways, a popular phrase, I still think that it is possible to have your cake and eat it too.  It is all on the approach to whatever “the cake” means to you.

The way I see it, when we practice mindfulness, we can have the cake and eat it, one bite/moment at a time, and that makes a huge difference.  When we multitask or want it all at once, the expression might make sense; however, when we learn to enjoy every bite, as tiny as it may be, we are able to savor the cake while appreciating it at the same time.  Picture a whole delicious cake (your favorite), and take a whole chunk out of it, or many at once, it is not whole anymore, it doesn’t resemble the original cake.  Now, take the same cake and with a spoon or fork, pick up a bit of frosting or ganache, and dig a little deep deeper, enjoying every bite.  Now, look at it, it still resembles the original cake.  You are having your cake and you are eating it too, one delicious small bite at a time, minding every bite.  Apply this to life, the cake representing your dream or goal.

The above metaphor tells you that without celebrating the journey, things may feel a bit incomplete or hollow.  I realized this later in life because I always thought that I was supposed to celebrate when I reached the pinnacle.  It is what I was taught in school and how I was socialized – the journey doesn’t count.  It is how most of us are raised and socialized.  The way I see it now, without the journey and the celebration of it, the last stop, the pinnacle, may seem a bit empty once I arrive.  I also know that the pinnacle is only one part of the whole journey.

We have a choice; we can rush eating the cake or we can eat it slowly and enjoy every bite while still seeing the big picture.  Many times the journey is what makes the destination worthwhile.

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger – Does It?

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South Padre Island: A person takes advantage o...

South Padre Island: A person takes advantage of the early morning for peace and quiet. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How many times have you heard the phrase “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger?”  Probably countless of times, and usually from someone who is going through rough times.  I always agreed with it, that is, until I had to say it.  The issue with it is that it doesn’t tell the story.  It assumes that the person will have a quick recovery from what almost “killed” him or her.  The truth is that unless that person struggles and fights to stay afloat and takes action to become stronger, that person can become paralyzed, stuck, traumatized, and remain a “living dead,” broken and far away from being “strong.”

What if you went through a significant circumstance in your life which marked you in a way that although you know you have to keep going, it has become very hard to do so?  You may stay alive but with little to no strength to fight.  This may apply to different situations.  One thing that I have learned is that what doesn’t affect someone may paralyze another – we respond and deal with situations in our own way.  The struggle can be brief, or long, and the longer it takes, the outcome becomes either,

  • you become paralyzed in your own situation and fear – and stay iddling,
  • or you come out a bit wrinkled, tossed, teared, just as a thin piece of paper, but those creases are what made you hold on and keep it together.

In either case, you must take a step to come out.

Pondering about this, and notebook in hand, this is what I was inspired to write.

One way in which you can become stronger is by,

  • Asking for help – the kind that you might need, whether professional, financial, spiritual, from a friend …  However, there is so much that outside support can help, and you must help yourself.
  • Pick yourself up.  Get dressed everyday, take care of your physical appearance, force yourself to look your best even if you don’t feel like doing so.  It is easier to wear your pajamas all day than taking the time and effort to look yourself in the mirror and work on your image.  This is only one of the pieces in the mirror that you might have to pick up.
  • Talk to your spiritual source – the fountain of your inspiration and divinity, whatever you may call it.
  • When you wake up in the morning, just say Hello.  It means that you are still here and ready to try once more.  If you happen to believe in a Divinity, then you are also greeting the divine source, and if you don’t, you are greeting the world in which you are waking up.  One more day, one more opportunity or thousands of them.
  • Love the people and pets that you hold dear to you.  Appreciate them and watch them be, and be grateful that they are in your life.
  • Pick up your environment, your home, and make it pretty again.  Right now, where you are is your home.  Clean, yes clean, as you clean on the outside, you are cleaning in the inside.
  • Talk to people and share, whether in person, phone, or online.  A bit of isolation helps you find yourself, but eventually you must emerge.
  • Do things one at a time.  Do things with loving care, taking time and minding them.  Don’t try to multitask.
  • Every night when the lights are out, in silence, give thanks for whatever you are thankful that day.  This is not so much to thank the divine or the universe but to acknowledge the good in your life, and make room for more blessings in your heart.  You will have more blessings, but for that, you have to make room in your heart.
  • As for your purpose, to each its own, and all it is, is a plan to make you happy – the ultimate goal.  Now go on, blessed be your life and the ones under your wings.

 

The Elusiveness of Success

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A carpenters' ruler with centimetre divisions

A carpenters’ ruler with centimetre divisions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At one point or another, we think about success, about how “successful” we are in our lives or endeavors.  The problem with measuring success is that we usually measure it against an ideal set up by society or against the success of others in our circle or people whom we admire and consider successful.  It is no surprise that most people would consider themselves unsuccessful and may feel a bit discouraged or sad about their stagnant lives or careers.  Little do we know that we are looking in the wrong direction and we are using the wrong measuring stick.

The question is, if we want to be successful (success is defined here as feeling realized and whole) why are we looking outwards when we should be looking inwards?  Why use the success of others as a measuring stick when we are our own “self” with unique dreams and goals, feelings about those dreams and goals, and a sense of where we want to be, whether clear or not at the moment.

Maybe it is that we are taught (since early age) to look at role models not so much in admiration but as imitation.  When we are asked the question, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” we are being asked, “who do you want to be like?”  If we happen to give the wrong answer, our parents or caretakers will offer a better suggestion – “why not becoming a – fill the blank – instead?”  And the quest for success starts.

I think that society needs role models, but not at the expense of creativity and individuality.  Role models fuel dreams, mentors inspire.  All that is good; however, it is sad that today we look to Hollywood to find role models, when we might have one in our backyards (and that is not to say that there aren’t any role models in Hollywood, because there are).  Without sounding preachy, let’s go back to the topic of success and why it may seem so elusive.

“Why don’t I feel successful?”  This is a good question to ask ourselves.  It focuses on the individual and his/her feelings, which is an inward point of view.  The minute we focus our answer outwards, there lies the problem (the culprit).  A possible answer could be – “Because I have not found an agent or a publisher yet” or “Because I don’t have much money” or “Because my art is not selling well enough” or “Because I am no Stephenie Meyer or Bill Gates” and it could go on and on …  These are examples of answers that point outwards and offer the wrong measuring stick.  The feelings of inadequacy that you might be experiencing may not be yours at all but rooted into the illusion of becoming like someone else, and that in itself is denying your own individuality (in a sense).  And this is why success is so elusive for most of us – because looking inwards is not that easy, and it is not what we were taught as we grew up.

So today, look inwards, take account of all your efforts, and see how far you have come, and celebrate that.  It is the first step to feeling successful and capturing the elusive butterfly.  Greatness comes from within and it becomes when it is directed to the service of others.

Needle Felting Critters

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Since I discovered needle felting, I have been hooked.  I admire the artists who transform a ball of wool into something, with the only instrument of a needle.  To me, this was very interesting as I could not understand, at the beginning, how you could get the wool to behave as you wished by just poking it.  If you have touched raw wool you know that it is hard to shape, especially the very soft kind, which unravels in your fingers.  Once intrigued enough, I had to find out.  I did and I love it.  I have created a few needle felting critters, which I call Woodland Magical Critters.  My last one was a baby butterfly fairy, called Tinselfly.  Here is a picture of her.

She has real butterfly wings (recycled-no butterflies were harmed in the making of this piece)

Here are pictures of my other needle felted sculptures.

My first try at felting was Astor Mousenfly.

Then came Buttons Wingly.

Followed by Milady Bugsy

and this Winged Valentine.

I think that I will continue to make these critters or other needle felted things, as I am still loving this craft.  If you are interested in any of these critters they are available in my shop

If you want to try something new I think this art will keep you busy, delighted, and will crank your creativity – you never know what will come out of that piece of wool, if you just let it be.

I hope that you enjoyed this post.

For a so super cool blog on the topic of wool please visit woolblog  – Trust me, it is so epic.

The Government will Clean it Up – NOT!

/ inkspeare / 5 Comments

Some people, wait, some naive people think that after mining for ore, when the company leaves, and the pits are abandoned, the government steps right in and clean-up efforts start.  Wake Up!  This is not the case; there are many abandoned uranium mines which have not been cleaned up, after many years.  Clean-up efforts have started after more than 20+ years have passed, as with mines in the 40s and 50s, recently being targeted.  Clean-up is expensive in every sense and I guess prioritized as well, and you know how that goes.

Here is an article as an example of these “waiting to be cleaned up” abandoned uranium mines, which are leaking radioactive material in high amounts.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/01/us/uranium-mines-dot-navajo-land-neglected-and-still-perilous.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=abandoned-uranium-mines-a

Uranium mining in North Dakota. South Dakota, Montana and Wyoming (there are many other sites) began in the 60s, and there are still sites oozing of radioactivity, waiting to be cleaned up.  In the mean time, people close to the sites are getting sick and dying.  The issue is not that the government refuses to clean it up, EPA wants to clean but reality says that it comes down to money/funds/budgets and clean-up is very expensive.

http://www.abandonedmines.gov/wbd_um.html

Virginians should start thinking not only about the potential hazards of mining uranium in a state that has propensity to heavy rains and storms, floods … but also, about the time that it would take for clean up  efforts to arrive after the company leaves the site, and this is assuming that everything would go according to plan, regulatory laws, and well, peachy keen.  I am not an expert, but in my eyes, I don’t see a win situation here for Virginia, give or take the economic gain; however, at what cost?  I only see one winner, and they will be long gone before “someone” starts to clean-up the mess.

This is no brain surgery, common sense and other states (dry climate) experiences suggests an outcome.  I pity the governor’s position – a sandwich between the people’s welfare and the state’s potential to become the energy capital of the East Coast (largest uranium deposit in the USA and one of the 7 largest worldwide) – not an easy decision.  People or Money?  But then, what is a state without healthy happy citizens?  Yeap, I can smell the situation, all the way from here at the Jersey shore.

Please, if you care don’t forget to sign the petition to keep the ban on uranium mining permanent.  Here is the link.    http://keeptheban.org/?page_id=38

Remember, today it is Chatham, VA backyard, tomorrow it might be your own backyard.  Yellow Cake is being offered, but this is no birthday party!

How Uranium Mining in VA Affects You Too – Please Sign this Petition

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Today’s post is dedicated to the issue of the possibility of uranium mining in Virginia which has the potential to harm the environment statewide and North Carolina.  The problem is that Uranium mining is usually done in dry and arid areas and VA is the opposite.  Not only do they want to open a mine but to have a mill in place as well which doubles the possibility for disaster.  The area of Coles Hill is flood prone which only means that the contamination of the water systems will spread.  Heavy rains, heavy storms are common, and tornadoes are not unheard off, so you have a perfect scenario for the potential of an environmental disaster of huge proportion.  There is potential for contamination of the soil, air, and water, spreading to North Carolina, and once it gets into the food supply (farm goods) it can spread further.  There has been a ban for the last 30 years to prevent the mining of Uranium and it is due to expire now in 2012, soon.

By signing this petition, you will help keep this ban on mining and keep the residents of VA, North Carolina safe.  You will also prevent the possibility of an ecological disaster that will spread further.  Please, sign this petition, follow this link.  Thank you.

http://keeptheban.org/?page_id=38

Please watch this video  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOGPIfPngSY&feature=player_embedded

An Eco Disaster Waiting to Happen

/ inkspeare / 2 Comments

I can’t say enough today as why my blood is boiling, simply put, “we humans will never learn and if we can, we will sell our souls to the devil for some economic growth, and the heck with the environment!”   Yes, we take gorgeous landscapes, lush flora, and amazing fauna, and turn it into contaminated crap, and I can think of better words to describe it but it wouldn’t be proper for this blog – so I will bite my tongue and swallow my venom.

Suddenly moving to a peaceful, green, and idyllic country town has lost some appeal.  Why?  Short answer – Uranium Mining.  There is a possibility that this could happen in Coles Hill, VA  practically in the backyard of Chatham, VA in Pittsylvania County – the picturesque and historic little town known as the “The Prettiest Little Town in Southern Virginia”  and that description says it all, and this is where I am heading.

Here is a map of the location – the area of Coles Hill in purple

http://www.mapquest.com/maps?city=Coles+Hill&state=VA#!

Here is a link to the independent report done by RTI International, study was funded by the Danville Regional Foundation.

http://www.drfonline.org/news/2011/documents/RTI-Non-tech-summary.pdf

Here is a comparison of Uranium Studies done.

http://www.drfonline.org/news/2012/documents/Uranium-Study-Board-17.pdf

And a more detail view of the study and reports

http://www.drfonline.org/news/2011/20111215-RTI-Uranium-Study.php

I hope that this never comes to be, and I am aware of the need for more jobs in the area, however, if Uranium mining happens,we all know how the story ends, thinking of an alternate ending is naive – and that is all I have to say.

This video says it all

http://www.southernenvironment.org/multimedia/videos/uranium_mining_a_threat_to_virginias_roanoke_river/%22style=%22font-weight:

Maneki Neko at Last!

/ inkspeare / 5 Comments

I have admire Maneki Neko cats for a very long time.  The first time I spotted one at a Chinese restaurant, I was mesmerized by it and it stole my heart.  Since then, I kept noticing them at businesses but I didn’t know the meaning.  I saw them in many colors and textures, left or right paw up, sometimes both paws, but the basic figure was always the same, a colorful happy cat with one or two lifted paws as if saying hello.  Many years later, still enchanted by these lucky cats, I broke down and got my first Maneki Neko (actually it was this past week – it took me 25 years to get one, finally).

Maneki Neko’s – the Beckoning Cat – origin is Japanese and it represents good luck, protection, prosperity, and good fortune.  To own one is to wish that to yourself and to all who enter your home and business – this is why they are so common in Asian businesses and homes.  Since I want this vibe for me and all who enter my home, I decided that admiring the Maneki Neko from afar was not good enough, and I brought one into my home.  There are several stories about the origin of the Maneki Neko, and there is a temple which relates to one of those stories.  This temple is visited by tourists and locals – it is called Gotokuji Temple.  I read about it on this blog which is dedicated to Maneki Nekos – http://luckymanekineko.wordpress.com/2011/04/13/the-road-to-gotokuji/

Here you will find more information, pictures of different types of Maneki Nekos and the legends surrounding this cat.

Here is a picture of my Maneki Neko, which I have not named yet.

I am not responsible if you, as I was, become enchanted by it.

It is All About Perspective

/ inkspeare / 6 Comments

While cutting some veggies for last night dinner, I had one of my epiphanies.  I always cut the ends of the carrots, tomatoes, celery, or any other fruit or veggie that crosses my path.  Even when they are cut in halves, if pre-packaged, I go back and cut a slice from the ends just to have a fresh end (not sure if you follow me).  Well, by the time I am done, I have a decent amount of veggie scraps that go into the garbage because I cannot compost where I live now (but that will be possible in the near future – can’t wait).  It occurred to me that my waste was a perfect meal for people in some countries that will give anything to have a tiny slice of that scrap to make a soup – I mean countries where there is extreme hunger and poverty, and food is not an everyday sight.  Not that I am not aware of hunger, for some reason this time, it was different.

Besides feeling terrible and wasteful, I thought of how much perspective matters in how we go through life and do our own thing, and then, I thought of how it affects our writing.  When we write a story, even when we are writing from the character’s point of view, our own perspective of things and life is playing in the background.  I don’t think that it is possible to escape it totally, even when we try to be true to the character and do a lot of research about the topic or character’s behavior, origins, culture … and so on.

My point is, our perspective follows us everywhere, it is how we see things, life, and how we interpret it, besides being influenced by our own upbringing, culture, and experiences.  I have made vegetable soup countless of times, and yet, this time, those scraps meant something different, and have become meaningful somehow.