Following Your Bliss

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What is bliss?  It is defined as:  supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment.  I define it as finding your balance, your equilibrium.  Each individual’s bliss is different.  And everyone operates at a different level.  Sometimes, we burn ourselves running after what we think will make us happier:  more money, another step on the corporate ladder, a bigger paycheck, or many other ideals.  In our search and journey we realize that something is missing, even when the prize has been obtained.  In the intense focus and chase of our goal, we fell out of balance – we lost our bliss.

Somehow, our prize is not as shiny as we thought it was.  And soon, we set our eyes on another goal, and the race starts all over again.  Setting goals, and planning is great, but we also have to find the balance while achieving them, otherwise we lose appreciation and become empty vessels looking for fulfillment.  So, how do we follow our bliss without ending up tired and disappointed?

Because everyone is unique, there is no recipe or mold.  The answer is within us, and all we have to do is look inside and figure out what makes us, not only happy, but whole.  When we realize what it is, slow and steady steps will take us there, while enjoying the process on the way.  Each day will bring its own rewards, but its challenges, too.

We live on an instant fast-paced society.  Everything was due yesterday.  We are conditioned to react and think fast.  If we want to follow our bliss, we will have to slow down the speed of life, or at least our perception of it (our attention).  When we live mindfully we are slowing down the speed and opening our minds and hearts to what makes us whole and happy.  Some of us, will make radical changes, others, small adjustments.  For some, the climb is steep, for others a small turn in the road.  But the rewards are living a happy and balanced life in harmony with one’s self and the world around us.  What could be better than that?

 

Dreaming Your Reality

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Many times, we entertain fantasies of dreams and goals for the future, and we take them as far as we can in our minds.  The sad part is that as soon as we come back to reality, this is where it stops, and we delegate them to the file drawers of our mind, until we decide to fantasize again.  Why do we do this?  Is it because we think that there is no way we can reach our dreams and goals?  Or is it that the daily grinding puts a lid on our dreams?  Is life making it impossible for us to reach our dreams?  Living should be part of attaining those dreams; instead, we act as if by living the daily routine, we are removing ourselves from those same dreams and goals.  We end up adopting an “impossible” way of thinking, and instead, we replace our dreams with fantasizing about them.

The first step to achieve our dreams is to remove the word impossible from our vocabulary, and our minds, and from our belief system.  Let us adopt a different thinking.  What was one impossible becomes probable, then, it becomes possible, until it becomes a reality.  Many inventions have followed this path.  If we adopt this way of thinking, we will reach our dreams, turning them into probabilities, possibilities, and finally into reality.  This doesn’t mean that it will be an easy journey – it is different for every person and each person needs to learn the lessons in the process.  For some, it is faster than for others; it may even take an entire lifetime, for some.

When we give room to self-doubt and self-limiting assumptions, we are saying the word impossible, over and over, and we start to believe it.  Therefore, the next step is to remove the self-doubt and self-limiting assumptions that we entertain daily.

You can dream, but you have to be proactive at your dreaming.  To put it simple, you can dream that one day you will win the lottery, but if you never play a ticket, you are self-limiting yourself.  You are not acting on your dream.  What would someone think if you told them a hundred years ago that one day you would send them mail that will take seconds – you would probably use another way of expressing yourself, maybe by saying that you will one day send a letter that will take an instant to arrive.  They would have told you that time traveling is impossible or that you are going nuts; maybe even commit you.  An email makes this impossible possible.

This is just an example to illustrate that your dreams are not impossible; it is up to you to dream them into reality.  When you start working towards your dreams, step by step, little by little, as you make progress, they will start to look more real, more possible.  And don’t forget to send the naysayers an email when you get there.

Finding Your Own Paradigm

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The American Heritage Dictionary defines paradigm as:  an example or a model.

We follow paradigms all our lives (voluntary or involuntary), since the time we are born, till the time of our departure.  Standards are set, ideals, models of behavior, social patterns that we follow throughout our lives, sometimes, without questioning their validity.  We accept these models as truth, but sometimes these models fail us.  When this happens, it is time to reevaluate the standards and ideals on which we have put our faith.

Finding your own paradigm, creating your own system, is necessary if you want to accomplish what you have set out to achieve in your life.  Following predetermined systems, other people’s ideas of “what works” – blindly – guarantees many broken dreams, and tons of wasted precious time.

There are set models and standards that have been established to help the better functioning of society.  Our job as responsible individuals is to weigh those systems and take what is useful, apply it to our lives, and improve on it.  By learning to get in touch with our dreams, goals, inner desires, skills, and core beliefs, we give form to our own system – what works for us.

While creating your own system, you can expect to make waves, to raise eyebrows, and to get the unsolicited truth from “the know it all.”  You will have to endure the comments coming from your loved ones (the ones that hurt the most), as they cannot see pass beyond their reality and the label that they have assigned you through the years.  Their opinion is sometimes clouded by the expectations by which they live, and these by the paradigms that they have themselves accepted as true.  Many times, influenced by titles, society labels, and the general belief of the masses, that follow as blind cattle.  So what if you are the only one proud of what you do for a living?  What if it is taking longer for you to hit the “I made it” label?  The growth is slowly, many times, and each person is different.  This is the price to pay for following your truth.  “As you believe so shall become,” we have heard this adage before, simple but true.  The law of attraction says that what we think, believe, and visualize, becomes our reality.   The Bible, and many other uplifting philosophies reinforce the same premise.  Many turned into paradigms, many twisted by society, history, political powers … and so on.

My question to you is whose reality?

 

 

Planning Your New Year – Resolution Solution

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The New Year is around the corner, and we start thinking about new goals, plans, starting anew, and the inevitable – all the goals that we set and did not accomplish.  We feel guilty, and at our worst, as failures.  So we take the pen and paper and start all over again, sometimes repeating the same goals – promising ourselves:  “this year for sure …”  I’ve been there.

Setting goals and naming things that we want to accomplish should not be a painful or shameful process.  It should be a guide, a road map of what we want to do and where we want to end up.  But goals should be realistic and measurable.  Just saying: “I want to lose weight” is not enough.  Instead, go thru a series of questions like:  how many pounds, how, when will I schedule the how, and most important – why?  Why do I want to lose the weight?  Your motivator is your best weapon.  If you don’t know your why, most likely, another year will pass, with no results.  This formula should be applied to every goal or project that you plan for the New Year.

Take a planner or your PC and schedule in your goals, daily, weekly, or however you figured out that you will work at them throughout the entire year.  If you have a reminder every day of your goal schedule, then it is likely that you will work at them with more enthusiasm and determination.  Set an automatic reminder in your PC.  The list of goals written on December 31st is not enough – it has to be planned.

Start thinking realistically of the things that you want to accomplish this coming year; make your list, but don’t stop there – map out a schedule to make them real.  At the end of the year, even if some of them did not work out, most will – and you will feel better and more productive.  I find that by doing this, by the end of the year I see that I have crossed out a good part of my list.  Some goals are still there, but I am a few steps closer to them, and I can always continue to work on them.

One thing that I have observed in some people if that they take their goals as written in stone and will not deviate, even when there is a need for some modification.  Many times a goal is missed just because of this, which is ironic.  In addition, goals should be taken as a guide to where we want to be and not as a horse blinder that will prevent us to enjoy the scenery in the process.  It is good to set some goals but it is also good to leave some room for flexibility, change, and modification.

Happy New Year Planning!

You are What You Read

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How many times have you heard the adage “You are what you eat?”  The same can be said about reading.  You are what you read.  Whatever you feed your brain, that is the connection that you are promoting.  The connections that form in the brain are the result of the stimuli that we receive.  So, if we feed the brain garbage, we better beware, because that is the connection that we are forming.  Despite all our medical and scientific advances, much of how the brain works is still a mystery.  But we know for sure that the brain is making connections as we learn and receive more stimuli.

So when Rene Descartes – the philosopher – said, “I think therefore I am,” we can say that he was not only referring to the cognitive and thinking process, but for sake of this argument, of the possibility of becoming in the sense of what we feed our brains.  How does a college student become a physician?  By learning, reading, and studying to be one.  He becomes the information that he studied.

The possibilities are infinite.  By feeding our brain the right kind of information we become.  Take your goals into consideration.  For example, do you want to be in a better financial position?  Then, start feeding your brain the kind of information that will take you there.

We also read for entertainment. It relaxes us, and takes us to another world.  When is time to come back to reality the reading material that we choose to advance ourselves, is as important as the air we breathe.  Many of us use reading as an escape to reality, or a tool for learning, but it can be much more.  Reading can be a positive power of suggestion, a tool to make you achieve your potential.

So, next time you pick up that book (or magazine, or whatever) – are you feeding your brain a healthy diet?

The Healing Effect of Writing

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Why do we write?  To inform, to tell a story, to leave a legacy for the next generation and more to come, and for many other reasons.  I say that writing is therapy for the soul.  The written word in a heartfelt poem is like the tear running down your cheek; it is like the cry, or the laughter, immortalized forever (that’s why you should mind what your write).

Writing provides an outlet for the creative spirit, and for any spirit, to express the deep feelings of the soul, the yearnings and the epiphanies, the dreams or the nightmares, the happiness, the sadness …  The simple action of taking a pen in hand (or any writing instrument) is an act of freedom, of expression – a catalyst.

You may argue that music has the same effect, and it too, soothes the spirit and elevates your soul.  But music without words is introspective.  It is only thru dance and movement that it tells a story – and movement becomes word.  Then it becomes the power of the written word – in a song, in a musical note that you can read.

Writing exercises the mind, and gives free range to the imagination.  Fiction is a good example of this.  Creeds, positive affirmations, all relate to the power of the written word.  It is as old as our existence, in one form or another.  It was the thing that God told Moses to do, when he gave him The Ten Commandments – a base for our society’s rules.

As writers, we hold a powerful instrument in our hands, an instrument to edify or to destroy, to bring growth, or to hinder it, to move readers (or to bore them to death) – an instrument to glorify creation.  By writing we appease ourselves, we choose to enter into a world that is only ours, or to remain in reality.  To write is to refuse to cease to exist – to give wings to your soul, to heal wounds, and restore the heart.

Poetry – To an American Soldier

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American Soldiers .. US military: 2 US soldier...As the Holiday Season approaches, I find myself thinking about all the families that will not be able to spend this time with their loved ones who are serving their country or who have died doing so.  It bothers me that the holidays are more about commercialism, frenzy shopping, than about true recognition of all the good, valuable, and great things that our soldiers, veterans, and first responders have done throughout the years, and continue doing.  Yes, no one likes war, and maybe I am a silly dreamer thinking that one day, war will not exist anymore; however, the reality is that war has been fought since the beginning of times.  And yes, without commerce the economy of a country goes dead; however, there is a time under the sun for everything.  One line from an old holiday movie stuck with me – “We give them our sons, and they bring us back their stuff.” (A Christmas Visitor).  Powerful words, and that is how many families feel during this time.

I had written this poem sometime ago, and as I prepare myself to receive the Holiday Season and give thanks for all the blessings in my life – which are many, I want to honor all those who served our country and who serve today.  So here is this humble poem as my gift to you, but knowing that you deserve so much more from me and everyone else.

 

To an American Soldier

 

I have the sand for a bed

The night sky for a lullaby

Days become long

Night becomes day.

 

Heart loves the nation

Mind thinks of home

Body stays focus

Soul knows the most.

 

Of family and friends,

Of holidays home,

Of freedom and price

My dreams have become.

 

When everything quiets

Images go flying

The Patriot loves Country,

The man loves a family.

 

The heart aches for Country,

Family and friends,

The soul screams for Freedom,

A price here to pay.

Poetry

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For today’s post I will share a few verses that celebrate the season.  The first one is a Haiku.  I like Haiku poetry because it is uncomplicated and packed with emotion and images.  Hope you like this one.

Fall Dance – Haiku

Cool crisp springs

Rolling hazy meadows

Dancing leaves in the breeze.

The next piece talks about that interlude, when the color of Autumn has left and the earth is waiting for Jack Frost.

Autumn Gray

Browns and grays covering the landscape

The fate of red and yellow hues,

Sounds of crisp under my feet

Grainy dust the leaves become.

Color gave way to gray

Peaceful silence of the season,

Lonely moments for the soul

To reflect in God, faith, reason.

The holidays are near,

To brighten us with cheer

A new slate, come clean, near

All thanks to Autumn Gray.

Hope you enjoyed my attempt at poetry.

Wishing you a beautiful Holiday Season and a joyful Thanksgiving Celebration,

Blessings,

Inkspeare

Success – When it is Not About Me

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This morning, I had a conversation with my sister about how successful some entrepreneurs become, and how financially rewarded they became.  Some examples seemed too simple to have landed in success.  When I looked at the simplicity of their plan and at the product/service, if  I had not known that their ventures were successful, I would have thought that there was no way that would work.  There was only one thing in common among these people – their venture met a need, filled a void, in a different way.  These people were helping other people with their product and they were making a difference with it.  One of the examples my sister talked about was of a woman who gave a pedicure/manicure to a pregnant friend who couldn’t go out to get it and certainly could not do it herself.  The result was that from helping that friend a lightbulb went on and she started her business, helping women in the same situation as her friend.

For many people, the first issue in mind when starting a venture is to make it financially, to make money at it and see results.  The more I look at other examples, the more I see a pattern – you have to want to help people first, and the success and the money will come as a result.  If you start thinking about getting money first, and helping people later, it just doesn’t seem to work.  This applies to any example, product or service.  It is understandable that people go into business to make money, but it seems that it is all in the approach, on how they approach the venture – the more worried about money, the farther from success.  On the contrary, the happier they are offering their services/product genuinely helping in that way the clients who need that product/service, the more successful they become.

By observing many of those examples, one has to conclude that success is not about me, on the contrary, it is about someone else.  And maybe, that is the only lesson we have to learn to become successful in our craft.  Once you have gone thru self-discovery, found your niche, heard your call … or whatever you want to call it, money should become second to helping your clients.  When you think about it, nobody wants to be seen as a dollar sign.  It seems to be more about being a genuine entrepreneur than being in business for yourself.

Ready to Self-Publish? Not so Fast

/ inkspeare / 6 Comments

When I started writing my first novel, I was not sure that I wanted to go through the traditional method of publishing; however, I decided to wait and contemplate the possibility of self-publishing.  Although I have not made a decision, I put aside my first novel and started on the second one – I am half way writing it.  Why do it this way?  Because it is a very important decision.

If you are contemplating self-publishing, that is great; however, make sure that you are ready for it.  Ready for the financial issues (even if you POD), the marketing efforts, but mostly, ready with your novel.  The novel (or other) must be as perfect and pristine as you can get it.  Why?  Because once it is out there for everyone to see, it speaks loud (and loads) about you as a writer and the quality of your work.

The internet and today’s technology has brought to light many people who want to write and publish their work for whatever reasons – fame, money, love of writing …  Each writer has his/her own agenda.  However, you see many people who convey that they are in a rush to publish their work; many, thinking that they will make a lot of money or will be known widely as best-selling authors.  The reality is that it is not always this way; on the contrary, it is unlikely that this will happen, although there have been exceptions.  It seems that the “hot market” has to do a lot with it.  Once you expose your talent (or non-talent) to the masses, there is no going back, and if you did not bother to polish your work and present it in the best light, this may haunt you for the rest of your writing days.

Before you decide to present your work to the world, whether self-publishing or not, see if you are truly ready (not to be confused with procrastination).

  • Learn about different ways of publishing your work
  • Make your manuscript as perfect as it can be (more than one revision, editing, or hiring the necessary experts …)
  • Evaluate your reasons for publishing and see what venue fits those reasons best.
  • Consider your finances and your time to dedicate to this full-time venture.
  • Read other authors who have self-publish or who have taken the traditional road.
  • If you have someone who can give you an honest and detached opinion about your work, ask for it. This person should be as neutral as possible.  More than one person is fine, as it will give you different points of view.
  • Trust your gut.  Many times your instinct is your best friend and agent.
  • Be sure deep down that this is what you want.

A note of caution – Rejections are a given in this journey.  Many people decide to self-publish after they have received tons of rejections.  Other people will keep trying because they know that the traditional way is what they want.  Be careful that you don’t get discouraged by all the rejections and the “not marketable enough” notes – it can kill your writing spirit.  If this is what you want to do, continue to pursue it but make sure that you are not self-publishing for the wrong reasons.  It must be true to whom you are as a writer.  If you are so fortunate to get a contract after just a few no’s, realize that these days, the publishing business is all about “hot markets,” and it moves at a fast pace.  Can you handle the many commitments and deadlines that the agent/editors/publisher puts on you?  Are you able to let go of your precious work (and writer’s ego) and be open to all the suggestions that these people will have for you?  Some people cannot and will not deal with many changes in their novel.  I have read/heard stories of changes as crazy (pure lunacy) as far as getting rid or highly modify a main character.  Most times, a writer feels and identifies with his/her characters and lives with them for long – they become a family.  Ponder that and what it does to a writer.

Finally, both paths take a lot of work, dedication, commitment and overtime hours – be sure that you can handle it and certainly, that your family knows what you are getting  yourself into, so it doesn’t take them (or you) by surprise.  Therefore, don’t think of self-publishing as a light issue, an easy cope-out, or a second choice, because it is non of that.  It is an option, a different way of doing things, and in many ways, of challenging yourself much more.  Give it the respect that it deserves (that your work deserves as well) and don’t join the waves of unprepared authors who have self-published in a rush.  Although I have not heard of anyone, it takes the most confident and self-assured, self-made, self-published author to turn down a book contract  to continue the path of the indie author.  That is why your reasons must be clear.

If you have gone through that experience, please feel free to share it here.  As  a writer that realizes the long journey ahead, your experiences are valuable to me and to other readers.