Is Pride Hurting your Writing?

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The Muse

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Pride is a natural human trait.  It is normal to be proud of our creation; of the things that we put heart and soul into and many times, all our resources.  Pride is good; however, it is not when it becomes a roadblock to our progress and growth.  This is when pride becomes an obstacle and many times, a blindfold as well.  We become so enamored of our creations – our work – that we fail to see that it can be improved, and we curse the one who dares to give us constructive advice.

Pride can be fuel but it can also fuel the fire that consumes your soul and your work.  This is why we have to be so careful with it; it can be a healthy tool against too much self-deprecation, but if not kept in check, it can become your biggest roadblock as a writer.

One way to deal with pride is to look at constructive criticism objectively, and to do the same with your work – although this is sometimes difficult.  Humble yourself by making it a goal to improve your craft – whether writing or something else.  When you realize that you do not have all the answers and that it is good to want to improve, the road will become easier and the criticism much easier to swallow.  Sugar up your pride this way, and you will begin to see a change – you may even find that your writing has a better flow, since you are open to growth.

Sometimes, our Muse inspires us, but it can also get very protective of its creation.  Think of it for at least a moment, ask yourself, “Is my pride preventing me to grow in my craft?”  Then give your Muse a sugar pill if you must.

Not all Who Wander are Lost …

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The Wandering Jew, a protective figure of the ...

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“Sometimes we may think we are on the right path, but only to find that we have wandered without a purpose.” 

This was my reply to one of my posts that gave birth to this post.  Many of us may be familiar with this quote “Not all who wander are lost” (J.R.R. Tolkien – The Lord of the Rings).  I am a fan of it.  It may seem to contradict my earlier statement, however it does not.  Sometimes, wandering takes a purpose on its own – a purpose of exploring, of wonder, of self-love, self-help, of the lessons that one has to learn to be able to set foot on the right path.  I can surely say that I have wandered for most of my life.  At times I felt lost, sometimes I sworn I was in the right path, on the right direction, and at other times, I realized that the detour was necessary for my personal enrichment and enlightenment.  However, in all my wandering there was always a purpose, it was never aimlessly.  Wether that purpose was right for me at the time or not, is not important, because it made me wander the paths that made me who I am today.

Yes, there are many times that I look back and say, “If I wouldn’t have taken that turn, I will probably would have accomplished this and that, and save some time in the process.  However, I recognize that those lessons were necessary for my spirit and for my mind.  Today, the quote “Not all who wander are lost” resonates with me as true as ever.

The Story You Have to Tell

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St. Augustine writing, revising, and re-writin...

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Have you asked “Why do I write?  If not, you should.  It will put your writing into perspective.  For some writers, the answer will be for fun, for money, for success, for fame, for love of the craft, to express myself, to help or inspire others … the answers to that question are personal and there are no wrong answers to it.  However, your answer must match your motive, and your motive, should match your effort and goals.

If you are in it to make money or for success, you should be realistic on the venues that you will use to make your goals a reality.  However, if you are doing it to inspire others, then that should be your main focus.  Somehow, money becomes secondary, almost an after thought.  The time for monetary reward comes eventually if you stay true to your purpose and reason for writing.

For some writers, the story they have to tell – wether inspirational or not – is the greater purpose – they have to tell the story, whether it sells well or not.  They know that they need to write the story and the story must reach the reader it was intended for or the reader who needs to get its message.  Wether it is for millions of readers or just one reader, does not matter.  For these writers, the story itself, (the message) is worth more than monetary compensation or fame.  They would write it anyway.  Why?  Because the story itself becomes “the why” – it is the story they have to tell.

Is it Fear of Failure or Fear of Success?

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Figure 20 from Charles Darwin's The Expression...

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As artists/writers we have heard how important it is to learn to deal with rejection.  Simply, it is part of the path we take.  Many books have been written about rejection.  We recognize rejection as part of the growth process and almost embrace it.  However, we are not so happy with the concept of failure.  We avoid failure, we fear it, and we want no part of it.  The fear of failure is paralyzing for some people, for others, it may be the fuel that propels them to keep excelling at what they do – we react differently in various circumstances.  These people, whether paralyzed or excelling, have something in common – the fear of failure.  However, there is a third group, which I am very aware of, simply because I found myself in that group once.

This third group thinks that they are afraid of failure; however, this is not the case.  The real fear has been disguised as fear of failure, but on the contrary, it is not failure what this groups fear – it is success.  Fear of success can be as paralyzing as the fear to fail.

Fear of success may be a personal issue and rooted in your childhood, or on any other phase of your life.  It is very hard to spot, and that is why it may hide itself as fear of failure or even of rejection.  Fear of success may involve being afraid of new things or new responsibilities, or even of the spot light and recognition that comes with success, in many cases.  The issue is personal.  If you think that you are afraid of failure, ask yourself why.  Ask again, and again … until you can’t ask no more; the answer may surprise you, as it did me.

Once in the open, your fear has no where else to hide and you can look at it straight, understand it, accept it, and move on.  Once you do this, it will never have the power to paralyze you, because it has been exposed.

So, is it fear of failure or fear of success?

The Catnap Writer

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I wake up early, around 5 am, everyday.  If I went to bed late that only means that my focus and concentration suffers the next day – I feel as a zombie all day, and have trouble putting sentences together.  Cats jumping and playing around all nite long, only makes it worst.  The foggy feeling continues all day – and despite all the coffee – unless I imitate my feline friends and take a quick catnap.  It may be 15-20 minutes but it certainly makes a difference – I feel refreshed and my mind is a bit more clear.  It also helps me with energy levels.

For some, it may be difficult to take a quick 15 minute break of shut-eye, but resting your eyes by closing them and maybe closing the door to your office (or going to the restroom) may work, if you need that jolt of energy.  Even after you get home, you can benefit of those fifteen minutes if you need them.

For writers, especially if you have a crazy schedule and are balancing many projects at once, catnapping will work wonders.  It gives you that little extra jolt of energy to focus much better.

At one point, taking naps used to be a common thing in our society; we became busier and hurried, relinquishing this short pleasure.  Some cultures still use naps, and I bet you they live in a less cranky society.  The amount of daily noise in our lives has also intensify, making napping almost impossible.  If you live in a large city, then that might not be a problem, since you are used to sleep thru all kinds of noises.

My point to all this rambling is to use cat naps as a tool to help your focus and writing disposition, especially when you have deadlines, and may have gone to bed late at night.  A catnap on time may save a squiggly line.

The Book, the Movie, the Reader, and the Audience

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A 16 mm spring-wound Bolex "H16" Ref...

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What is better, the book or the movie?  That is a question that we hear many times, specially when talking about a recent release.  However, there  is no real answer to that question.  Really, there is not.  This is why.

I have found that book lovers (including myself) enjoy reading the book, but love seeing the movie for these reasons –

  • You want to see the images in the movie and compare them to the images that you have stored in your mind after reading the book.
  • You want to re-live the book using other senses.
  • You want to see the interpretation of that book in film and how it compares to the book.  Did they get it right?
  • You want to put faces to the main characters in the book.  You probably may have cast some in your mind.
  • You watch the movie as an extension of the book.

There are many other reasons, as reading a book and watching the movie is a personal experience, one that each reader/movie goer makes as individual as their senses.  This is why there is no straight answer to that question.  For some the book is better than the movie, for others, the opposite may be true.  Some will hate both (although, if they hated the book I doubt they will go to see the movie).  And, for a few others, they will love both, and will keep re-reading and watching over and over.  I count myself in that last group – many times.

 

On this topic

http://jitterygt.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/the-book-or-story-is-always-better-than-the-movie/

They Had a Beef – For Dinner?

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Marbled beef

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When I first heard of the word or phrase “I have a beef with you”  I thought that the person was referring to an actual piece of meat – little did I know that it meant – either an argument, a problem, or a situation, that was setting the stage for a fight.  I was listening to the person speaking of this “beef” and could not make sense of it.  It wasn’t until later, when the conversation had progressed, that “the beef” became much clear.

This made me think that first, I had to brush (a lot) in today’s slangs and second, that we are living in a different world, where language, culture and technology intermix with disregard of time or motive.  It used to be that generations had a bit of time to learn to understand the new slang, and the new slang had a purpose or a motive.  A new slang word appeared and it was used and abused, and you were forced to learn it, want it or not.  Today, slang seems to appear out of the sudden and take you by surprise; there is no prelude to it, no big announcements of the generation using it, and no warning that it is here.  It is as if language has taken a dangerous personality, and one that may appear in the most unexpected places.  An example of this is when today, while watching the morning news, the newscast member reading the headlines used the word Beef.  However, this time, I knew what it meant.

Why I Don’t Care About Winning an Argument

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There was a time when I used to get blue in the face defending an argument; I don’t anymore.  Why?  Because first, I am not a lawyer nor do I enter any debating contests; therefore, it doesn’t make a difference to me.  Personal arguments do not take my energy anymore and this is why.

  1. People’s beliefs vary – In the old days, I was trying to convince people of accepting or adopting my belief.  The agenda was set wrong since the beginning.  Instead of inviting people to ponder or take a look at my point of view, I wanted to convert them to it.  Wrong!
  2. I have learned to agree to disagree – Instead of preaching my point of view until air from my lungs is exhausted, and they collapse, I have learned that it is alright to disagree, and it is healthy as well.
  3. It doesn’t change me – Learning to disagree and accepting disagreements does not mean that I have lost or have become weak.  On the other hand, understanding where the other person is coming from, makes me stronger and open-minded.  Agreeing to disagree does not change my core of beliefs, so there is no need for defensiveness.
  4. It is healthy to ponder others points of view – When you learn to appreciate the differences in others people’s arguments, you are allowing your mind to expand and look at other possibilities beyond your own.  You are freeing yourself out of your own box, and can benefit from this mental exercise.
  5. You are totally free – You are allowing yourself to consider other points of view, and there is no need to waste energy defending yours.  This may result on strengthening your own beliefs, or in allowing the freedom of changing them, if you discover new information that contradict your beliefs.

I have learned that there are more colors to an argument besides blue, and welcome all kinds of points of view.  Now, instead of preaching my point or trying to convince the other person that my way is the right one, I choose to expose my feelings in a non treatening way, providing information, and letting that person know why there are features and benefits (for me) to my point of view.  Now, instead of arguing, I sell.

I FaceBooked My Way Through Irene

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Facebook logo

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Well, the worst of Irene in Cliffwood Beach, NJ is over.  We had some trees down, and some flooding, but overall, better than what we expected.  I decided to keep aware and did not sleep until the worst of the hurricane was over.  Facebook helped me cope with Irene, and in a way, it helped ease my nerves.  I talked to family and friends while the winds were hitting the house, and this proved to be good storm therapy for me.  This proves once more that FB is more than a networking site, it extends to much more.  It has become a way for us to communicate during hard times, and many times the only way when phones and other ways of communication don’t work.

Irene scared the heck out of many people; I Facebooked my way through Irene.

Hurricane Irene – An Education

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Irene was located south of Bermuda and was mov...

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I live in Cliffwood Beach, NJ, close to the path of Irene.  I have observed the preparation for the storm and I have gotten an education on how differently people react.  First, I have to say that Governor Chris Christie has made New Jerseyans feel safe, as he seems very prepared and ready, and he is not taking things lightly.  He has also been “very real” giving his awareness speeches.  I applaud him for this.

Despite all the warnings, I have observed people taking the arrival of Irene very lightly – having parties, planning on getting drunk, or staying in danger zones that are mandatory evacuation.  I know people who are not ready, even with the basics of water and can food.  Their believe – “Nothing is going to happen.”  They just don’t seem to want to hear it.

I have also seen people who at the time of this writing have not secured their stuff outside – many of this things, with the possibility of turning into dangerous projectiles that may damage other people property or even lives.

For the ones planning on partying and getting drunk, think of your family, and the importance of being alert enough to get them to safety if they need you.  There are plenty of times to get drunk and party, and during emergency alert is not one of them.

I have observed that most of the stores here in local Jersey are almost empty.  I am not sure about today, but water is certainly almost gone.  I had to visit two places yesterday to be able to buy water ( single small bottles since the 24 pk kind was gone in my area).  Affordable wood panels were almost gone at the local Home Depot – I had to buy two panels costing $20 each, to cover large windows.  At least it is a good sign that people are getting ready with supplies.  It also makes me think how low in supplies the local stores are, and in the event of a large emergency, they may not be enough for everyone.

I hope that we don’t get hit hard by Irene; it has certainly been an education prior her arrival.