goals

Because Sometimes, Change is Good

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Where did the year go? For me, it was truly a whirlwind that swept me in many directions, expected and unexpected, some good, some not so good; however here I am, thankful for it all, and looking forward to next year experiences, whatever they might be. It is life; it means I am alive and open to God’s plan for my life. This is my last post for the year, and I was not sure of what to write to end the year. I did not want it to be another holiday post, so here I am, winging it. Just think of it as a conversation from the heart.

Sometimes, we let ourselves be influenced by others, whether that be media, friends, family, acquaintances, influencers, groups, religion, politics … You name it. Everyone has anything to say about how we should live and plan our existence, but when we think about it, nobody really has the answers. Life is given to us to experience and fulfill it, one day, moment, second at a time. When you think about it, it is beautiful. We were presented with this gift that we did not ask for, and we have the freedom to live it. Whatever things are thrown in the package, it is all ours to make something of it. We are all one big conglomerate in the human race; we all want to live a happy and peaceful, joyful life. We are more similar than not. Hate is a disease, it is sickness. Love is a cure. We decide. We might be influenced, negatively or positively, but we decide. We decide how to act, react, and what to let into our life, what we give our attention to, and how we live day by day. In the end, we only have this day, and sometimes, not even a full one; our seconds are in the hand of our Creator, but so are our blessings. Does it really matter if someone else has more than you? or if you did not meet your goals this year? Does it? When I think about it, and in the big scheme of the journey, it truly does not. I don’t know how long my journey is, no one does, so why not choose love over sickness, inner peace over discontent, gladness over bitterness, and hope, especially hope. The journey is meaningless without hope, and faith.

I hope that you embrace the holiday season and next year with hope, faith, and at peace with yourself, the rest will come when it needs to come. When God made you, he knew who he made, but also, your journey. Your journey is not meant to be stationary; it is meant to be full of change, and change brings growth, knowledge, and understanding, and with understanding comes kindness, and with kindness, love. In that sense, change is good.

I wish you and yours a joyous holiday season and may next year be filled with the kind of blessings that only come from above, the best kind, in my opinion. Merry Christmas! God bless you all.

Love and Light,

Inkspeare

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6 NKJ)

It is About Focus and Faith

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While researching, I came across the following quote, which inspired this blogpost.

“Dictatorships are one-way streets. Democracy boasts two-way traffic.” Alberto Moravia

While reading the above quote, these poetic lines came to mind.

A People’s Will

Soaring above, keen eye, unsteady flight

Eagle must rest on steady land.

Time to choose,

One way street or two-way traffic.

Alberto Moravia was an Italian writer, whom I am not familiar with or have read any of his works; however, this quote stuck with me. It inspired the following.

Many times, people become discouraged by the current political environment. It might affect people in many different ways, whether mentally, emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. There are many things we cannot control directly; however, we can always control how we react to certain issues, events, and our environment. When we focus on what we can control in our daily lives, our focus change, and so does our response and attitude. What I write here, I have applied myself.

Here are examples of controllables. These controllables apply to many of the issues that we might be experiencing under less than pleasant conditions.

I can control,

A healthy diet and exercise

All my decisions

How I decide to start my day and end it

My thoughts

My spending

My relationship with God

My reaction to the people I interact with, or whom I choose to include in my circle

How I choose to view each challenge/problem

How I manage all my resources

How I choose to live my life

My degree of gratitude each day

What I give my time and effort to

The battles I choose to fight or not

How I view my space, my home, my possessions, with gratitude or not

How I value my life

The priorities and values I set daily

How I manage my time and money

My dreams

My expectations of myself, others, and life

The guilt I put on myself and others

What I let into my mind and space

The physical things I surround myself with

How I treat myself (level of respect, love and understanding) as well as others.

These are only a few controllables, but in my opinion and experience, the most important ones, and the ones that will help center our focus when times are not what we expect or desire.

Ten Things I Would Tell My Young Self if I Could Go Back in Time

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“Enjoy a plate of homemade cookies from time to time.” Photo by M.A.D.

Rainy days make good thoughts. Sometimes, I go back in time and observe the younger version of me, through my memories. I can truly detach and see her with kinder eyes, every step, dreams, goals … through good times, not so good times, and even scary times. In times of wisdom, confusion, loss, fear, naiveté, and even doubt, of happiness and growth … In moments of pure bliss and in times of desperation but always striving for more. Then I think, if I could only go back and tell her; hence, the title of this blogpost. Although there is much more that I would tell her, here are ten things (me-truths) I would definitely tell her (in no particular chronological order).

You are never too little or too much; God made you with value for Him.

Life is not a race against time; it is a celebration of time, slow down a bit.

What you truly think of yourself is more important than what other people think of you; really, it is.

It is perfectly ok not to achieve the ideal of perfection because it is a lie.

Most so-called experts make it up as they go.

One day, you too will be old, in the blink of an eye.

Evil-intentioned people do exist in real life.

Religion is man-made, but Jesus is not.

Never hand off your agency to another; never!

God will never abandon you, no matter what.

What would you tell a younger version of you?

Reflections: One Day at a Time, One Step at a Time

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Photo by M.A.D

One day at a time, one step at a time.

Life would be much more pleasant if we would live in that way. This is a lesson I learned later in life. In my younger years, multitasking and the idea of a “superwoman” who thrived on a crammed schedule and did everything to perfection was idealized. Many of us, gender aside, followed that way of living in our everyday interaction. I remember feeling “guilty” if I had “free time” to myself and even worrying that I were to become lazy if I indulged on even an hour of “unproductive” being. The years passed by, and I had become entrapped in one of the biggest lies Society sold me. When I think about it, that way of life was very materialistic in essence, even when I never saw myself as a materialistic person, on the contrary.

Today, I repeated this question, what is truly important to me? Throughout the years, the answer has been narrowed to include the issues at the core of my true values and loves. Today, I finally understand the meaning of living one day at a time, one step at a time, and from that realization, a sense of peace within that recognizes that life is not a race, and I don’t need trophies or crowns to validate my existence; God has already done so when He made me. It is beautiful to achieve dreams and to celebrate our achievements and of others as well, but not at the expense of living. The mere existence of achieving without the joy and beauty of living is contraindicating. Maybe Hans Christian Anderson understood this well.

“Just living is not enough, said the butterfly, one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” Hans Christian Anderson

Love and Light

The Joy of Selling by J.T. Auer

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Herbert presents The Joy of Selling by J.T. Auer

I am re-reading The Joy of Selling by J.T. Auer before I let it go. It is an oldie (1989), an international bestseller. I read it in my younger years. Although a book for the professional salesperson, its principles can be adapted and applied to many areas of living, working, and interrelationship with others; after all, we are always selling or being sold something in our daily interactions with others, whether we realize it or not. We “sell” ourselves every single day at any moment, our opinion, point of view, values, desires …

Although an older book with its dated technical jargon, this book is written in a simple, down to earth approach, and its principles are what makes it still useful today. Whether you are in the sales profession or not, it is still relevant.

The Next Season

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Photo by M.A.D.

Today, I found myself wishing that Spring was here already. Autumn and Winter used to be my favorite seasons when I lived in New Jersey. For a reason that truly eludes me, Spring and Summer have become my favorite seasons here in Virginia. Sometimes, we find ourselves thinking or wishing for the next “season” in life instead of living and being present in the season we are in. I truly believe that each season in life has something to teach us, whether that season is challenging or one of many blessings.

Many times, we rush through life unaware of our present season instead of living our best time in it. We are always thinking of a future season that may or may not materialize because none of us is guaranteed another day or even another second. We go through life making plans, worrying about the future, and ignoring all the good that the season we are in brings with it. We say things like, “time is money,” or “time is of the essence;” however, in trying to capture time, at the same time, we are letting it go. Call it the pursuit of happiness or the pursuit of wealth, or any other thing that we might spend our entire life going after, when we look back, it is all that – a pursuit through time, always wishing for another season.

“To every thing, there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV

What Motivates You?

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Everything is a system that interrelates.

The first month of a new year is when many people look for motivation in order to set new goals and have a “fresh start.” Although goal setting is a healthy practice, when we do not feel motivated enough, this practice might seem daunting or even hopeless. What motivates us?

Motivation – To stir to action; provide with a motive. (American Heritage Dictionary)

Enthusiasm for doing something; the need or reason for doing something; willingness to do something, or something that causes such willingness. (Cambridge Dictionary)

Both definitions above point to a need, a reason, a motive, to create the enthusiasm to move into action. In other words, without motive there is no action. What motivates us? What stirs the hope that causes us to set goals and a plan? Sometimes, we confuse our goal with our why, or vice versa, and sometimes we focus so much on the reason or the goal that we miss an important point – that we are a system, and everything is a system that interrelates.

It is no wonder then, that we feel defeated, tired, and guilty when we fail to perform, or we do not achieve our goals. We blame and chastise ourselves and we end up feeling defeated, sad, depressed… When we see and realize the complexity and beauty of our being, it becomes harder for us to be so harsh with ourselves and with others, but also, we learn to view ourselves and others with kindness, but most important, as a part of everything else. It is with this new vision that we can find the motivation to dream again, to desire again, to strive and understand the why that will determine the goals that we want to achieve. Suddenly, the why and the goals are just a small part of a bigger existence.

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:14

Assuming an Identity in the New Year

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I have to become before I become. As I wrote a few things that I want to accomplish this year, the thought crossed my mind. I may develop a detail plan, but it truly does not mean anything unless I start modeling behavior, acting as the person I want to become in order to achieve the target goal. I have to become, in my mind and in my doing, the person I want to eventually become. To illustrate, I will use a simple example, a common goal that most people set – to save x amount of money by a certain day. In order to do that, I have to act as a saver. I have to become/model the behavior of a saver, a person who saves money. I have to act/be what I want to become in order to achieve what I want to achieve. That is just a simple example, but depending on how many layers a goal might have, that will determine how many identities I might have to assume in order to make it real.

As a writer, writing characters, identities, personality traits … become second nature. Eventually, by repeating a specific behavior that is required to achieve a specific result/outcome will become second nature as well. Just as a character grows and develops throughout the pages of a story, so do we, when we model what we want to become. With each layer, each modeled behavior, we grow from one initial step to the next, and so on, just as a character grows/evolves from chapter to chapter or a series.

Depending on the complexity of a goal, that is how many identities one might have to assume. Going back to the example of saving money, I will evolve it to a few more layers, let’s say, saving x amount (first layer) to pay debt (second layer) in order to build wealth (third layer) for a safer future (fourth layer). There are a few layers on this financial goal.

Goal layers – Identity/behavior

Saving money = Saver

Debt free = Frugal person/conscientious of spending

Build wealth = Spend less than you earn/Financially literate

Safer future = Wealth manager/manage money wisely

In each level of progress, a new identity emerges that the previous identity will support; it all interrelates and works together, but without “acting out the part,” without becoming or modeling the appropriate behavior, nothing will happen. Many times, we become overwhelmed by looking at the outcome first, but in reality, it is much manageable and real when we just look at the first step/ the first behavior, and let it evolve from there.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2 (NKJV)

“And have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him.” Colossians 3:10 (NKJV)

Photo by M.A.D.

Of Plans and Works

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Photo by M.A.D.

A new year represents a fresh start for many of us. We evaluate the previous year, check a few boxes, and set new goals. Sometimes, we are disappointed because we did not accomplish as much as we wanted to in the previous year; other times, we are satisfied with our performance. For others, it represents a challenge because they can already identify the areas of struggle ahead.

Whether dread or inspiration, when we look at the new year, one thing that we can always count on is hope. Hope for a better year. Each day represents a blank canvas. We might have to deal with a few smudges here and there, but as long as we keep hope we can paint a new picture or add some color to the one we are painting.

When we feel hopeless it is as if we are covered in darkness. One cannot see the light; one cannot see the colors. Setting goals and planning is good; however, there are times when despite careful planning and hard work, things don’t go our way, or at first glance they don’t seem to go as expected. Add to that a few years of hard work, determination and no results, and it can break your spirit, and burn you out. If you have experienced it, you know well what I mean.

At one point or another, we all will experience setbacks, disappointments, heartache, hopelessness, and brokenness, to various degrees. It is how we view/react during those times that will determine our comeback and the length of time we stay in the shadows.

“I sought the Lord and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

It is good to set goals and to plan. To get somewhere there must be a destination and a map.

“Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” Proverbs 16:3

My best wishes for the year ahead.