It is a windy and rainy day; I love days like this one. I can see leaves falling and hear the wind, as the raindrops hit the window glass. There is a mystifying and peaceful feeling about it, very serene. I feel tucked-in, secure inside, the warmth of home. I guess nature mimics that feeling, because all critters do the same; they are nestled in their habitats. On days like this one, one can help it but reminisce and hope for the promises of the new year. Soon, the holidays will be here and gone, and we are left with the expectation of a brand-new year, a fresh opportunity to do better, but in reality, every brand-new day is just that, a gift, a new opportunity. Whether to keep on going, to start over, or simply, be grateful for what is, it is a blessed gift. Some people say, “what matters is this moment;” but I think that what matters is what I do with this moment; we all have to live it, one way or another.
When we cease to exist, moments do not matter anymore; it all blends into eternity. I guess where we’ll spend it matters. Challenges come and go, dreams do as well. We live and give meaning and purpose to our living or we strive looking for it. If we find it, we count ourselves lucky, blessed; if we don’t, we search all our life, or feel cursed, not knowing that the mere act of living has purpose in itself, if we dare to see. Life reveals itself. It reveals its miracles every single day, and all of it in the midst of our challenges and blessings. The breath of the Creator is in every one of us. Every time that we open our eyes to receive the blessing of another day is reason enough, purpose in itself, to make the best of what we are given. Life will never be perfect, and there will always be challenges, ups and downs, the unexpected, and the undesirable, but with it, also the human God-given capacity to dream, to hope, to love, and to feel every second of our experience here, until we come home.
“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulder; and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6
“May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord shine his face upon you and be gracious to you; may the Lord lift up his face upon you and give you peace.” Numbers 6: 24-26
Wishing you a very merry Christmas, a happy holiday season, and a blessed new year.
Influence – to affect or change how someone or something develops, behaves, or thinks. (Cambridge Dictionary)
We are in the information era; however, I think we are a bit further along than that. We are in the influence era. Although we have always been influenced by others, whether family, friends, education, marketing, politics, religion … it is now when “influencers” are found everywhere, at every level of society, and even recognized as an occupation, that is, thanks to the development of the internet, and with it, social media venues. However, artificial intelligence is adding another layer to this era of influence, and this is only the beginning. I think that all markets will be changed by this in a significant way. In my opinion, we are entering a new era.
Aside from this, we have always been influenced by something or someone, directly or indirectly. The adage, “Birds of a feather flock (fly) together”, speaks of this influence. Who we allow in our close circle, whether we realize it or not, will influence us in a positive or negative way. Even when we think that we are strong enough to remain neutral in our relationships, there is always a part that is influenced by the other person(s). Sometimes, by the time we realize the type, depth, and degree of such influential forces, some damage has been done. Whom we have listened to, walk with, and entertained in life, those influences, have molded some of our responses/decisions, and views in life. Sometimes, an influential relationship will be beneficial, other times, the opposite, and years of such relationship(s) will affect, change, our development. It is usually after a long period of time that we begin to realize how a particular relationship influenced our outlook and behavior as well, and down the road, many of the results we observe in life due to choices we have made. This is not to blame others for our own choices, but to recognize the power of influences in our daily living. I have heard many times that “you become who you befriend.” You can develop a positive outlook or a “poor and doom” mentality. The other day, I was listening to someone talk, and every other word was can’t, never … words along those lines. I understood what was being said behind the scenes.
We are social beings, we tend to form groups, and we have a basic need for belonging. How that need is filled is up to us, as adults, that is. When I watch the news, and I see so much turmoil, hate, irrational behavior, verbal and physical attacks, and other less than civilized behavior, I see “influence” at play. When there is extreme polarity, taking sides becomes harder for the observer. The least of two evils might not be enough. Values are there for a reason, a sort of compass, but those values are subject to influences throughout our life. White or black might not be enough, and gray seems a forced compromise sometimes.
Blaming others (influencers) for our choices is denying personal responsibility and eventually, hindering our growth as human beings; it diminishes our humanity, and in a way, our ability to recognize influential forces in our lives, including our own. We reject our free-will, our most precious gift and essence.
For most of my life, writing and publishing seemed a dream hard to reach. Mostly because the image of most famous writers that was presented by the media to my generation was a bit intimidating and hard to reach. It was one of seclusion, selectivity, money, unwanted-wanted fame, and reserved for the few great ones. This was a different time, one without internet, social media, and writer-friendly technology. Traditional publishing ruled the roost, and the few brave independent authors who dared cross to another dimension were viewed as vane, and even rebels who could not abide and bow down to a perfectly run system that would vomit you if you were deemed not good enough, or below its standards. Many dreamers like me would not dare enter the nightmare, and the ones who became rebels of the system knew they have to pay the price, and a very expensive one it was, literally and figurative, reputation included, and with it, down the dream of being even considered for a traditional publishing contract. Independent publishing was viewed as a mortal sin. Thank God these days are different, although not without its problems. When I realized that my dream of writing could be resuscitated under a new set of rules, I didn’t think twice. It was a new dawn. However, I had many questions. Many of these questions are the same ones that aspiring writers have today, although it is much easier to find the answers now. This post is about some of those questions and how I answered them, as well as questions I’ve encountered.
I want to write, but how do I start?
The short answer to that is just do it, write, but there is so much more to that. When I thought about that question, it wasn’t as easy to answer as I thought it would be. There was so much to consider, and so much more knowledge I needed to gather. I spent nearly two years learning (while writing and transitioning) as much as I could about this new system and independent publishing, but as well about traditional publishing at the time. Many myths were alive, other were just that. I found that the most important issue was my Why. Why did I want to write? Was it just because it was a life dream resurrected or was there more to it? I knew I had to answer that question before taking the plunge. I did. My why is not relevant here, every writer will have a why. So, to answer the question, start with your why. Why do you want to write? How do you see yourself as a writer? Is it for money or a call, or something else? When did your desire/passion for writing start? What triggered it? Have you written anything in the past? Why not? Were you intimidated by misinformation? How do you view writing? As a business? As a hobby? As a career? As a calling? How do you view other writers? Would you consider becoming an independent writer (indie writer) or does traditional publishing align more with your vision? Would you consider becoming a hybrid author?
How do I publish my book?
There is much to learn about this subject, and the good news is that today there is much information on this subject online and in books written by many independent authors, as well as hybrid authors. A hybrid author is one who has published via the traditional model, but also independently. The way to answer this question is for you to educate yourself as much about the publishing industry as you can. Learn about both models, but also, about the different methods to publish your work independently, because there are many, and the cost vary widely between these, from very minimal expense to thousands of dollars. Most important, and once you study this information, is to apply what you learned when you answered question number 1 to answering these other questions about publishing. What attracts you more about each model? Which model mirrors more your work ethic? Would you consider becoming a hybrid author? Would you consider working with an agent? What is your ultimate publishing goal?
Do I have to be an avid reader to be a writer?
Most writers are. It is part of your education. You will learn different styles, voices … Develop your writing style and voice. Never try to imitate another writer. It is a disservice to you, and you would be disrespecting your craft. There is nothing wrong with admiring a best-selling author and learning from that author’s style and work; however, develop your own. Understand that it takes time to learn and grow. Most likely, the author that you admire most has been at it for decades.
Do I have to belong to book clubs or writer’s groups?
Short answer, no, and in other words, you do you (or to each its own). You know what you like and dislike, you know your personality well, and you know what ultimately educates you and fuels you. If these groups work for you and excite you, then go for it. If not, there is no sin in that. These can be a great educational tool, but it depends on your personality, preferences, and goals as a writer.
What is the process of writing and publishing a book?
First, read and learn as much as you can about the topic. Aside from the educational part of this question, it is different for every writer. Inspiration comes in many ways. Most serious writers are disciplined enough to have a schedule or method. Many writers use an outline before writing a book, other writers do not. I don’t outline, but a small outline sometimes develops on the side as I am writing. Many times, as a way of remembering important points, or as new ideas pop. There is no right or wrong way here. It also depends on what publishing model you decide better fits your working style and ethic. There are many ways of publishing a book; learn those venues and their differences. Cost ranges from minimal expense to thousands of dollars. The more you contract out the more money you spend. You can use a publishing house for independent writers, which takes care of formatting, editing, etc. or you can hire each phase yourself, from formatting, to edition, from cover to cover, all the way to publishing your book, hardcopy or electronically (eBook). Amazon is a great way to start, if in doubt, and in my opinion, one of the least expensive ways to publish a book, and still put out a decent product. They offer editing and other services as well. There is also a good amount of information on their site, as a way to educate aspiring writers, which translate in more revenue for the company, eventually. Follow the method that you prefer and one that lets you present a well-crafted quality book for your readers, one that you are proud to offer.
Who promotes my book?
You do. Whether you publish traditionally or independently, you will have to do some work to promote your book, and the venue you use is up to you, whether that is social media, blogging, related products (physical products) and promotional materials, giveaways, activities … However, when you have a team behind you, such as in traditional publishing, there are advantages to that, as well as an established name behind your book and proven methods to spread the good news. As an indie writer and publisher, you can do the job yourself or hire people to do it for you, depending on how deep your pockets are. There is also the issue of personal preferences, for example, you might not enjoy social media as much, but prefer blogging, or other methods. I have to say, although I don’t follow this, that being robustly involved in social media, having a YouTube channel, a podcast … does help in spreading the good news about your work faster and widely. It is something that I recognize as a great advantage but not necessarily follow. It all depends on what your ultimate goal is. There are three very good sources to further your education that I like, that is, if you don’t know where to start. One is Stephen King’s book On Writing, Joanna Penn’s book The Indie Author Guide, and a copy of The Writer’s Market (for traditional publishing). Joanna Penn is an independent best-selling author. Her YouTube channel and blog are a great place to start. There are more suggestions under the tab On Writing -FAQ on this blog.
Do I need to be involved in social media? How much is too much?
The short answer is yes. You should have some kind of internet presence. Times have changed, and it is part of a very fast environment and culture development. However, you should not have to feel obligated to join every social media site. If you enjoy that, by all means, the more exposure the better, but not at the expense of your writing time. I think balance is key. I only have this blog as my online platform; other authors prefer a much robust involvement in social media venues. There is an advantage to online exposure and interaction. Again, it depends on your ultimate goal. If selling as many books as you can is your goal, then you will need a well-crafted and thought-out online presence.
Will I make tons of money?
Making tons of money is the wrong reason to enter the writing world. Most writers, good or bad, do not make a high income. A better approach would be to treat “making money” as a byproduct of your love for writing; however, passion/love alone doesn’t pay the bills. At one point, you will reconsider and go back to your Why, and make a decision. You will consider your ultimate goal and adjust your plan if necessary. Many independent authors are doing very well.
What about branding and trademark?
Developing a brand is to your advantage, whether you become a traditionally publish author or an indie author. People tend to associate a name with branding. Study the books of best-selling authors, and notice common characteristics such as color, typography, mood… It is cohesive and recognizable. This is something you will develop with time, because in the beginning you are learning about yourself as an author. However, when traditionally published you will be coached and steered towards an image/brand. The experts take care of that, in a way. When you publish traditionally, you are under contract with a particular publishing house, for the duration of your contract, and both sides have legal obligations to fulfill; you are also represented by an agent. As an independent author, it is up to you to develop a brand (or not), and your work falls under copyright laws and protected by it. I advise to educate yourself on this topic.
How fast should I write a book and publish it?
Writing a book is not an easy endeavor. It takes much crafting, editing, reviewing, research, and other considerations, aside from the publishing part, which has its own challenges. You should not be in a rush but take as necessary to present a well-crafted book always, one you are proud of as an indie writer. Under traditional publishing, you are under contract and must meet the deadlines expected.
Do I have to stick to a particular genre?
There is no right or wrong answer here. I recognize the advantage of sticking to a particular genre, one you have some kind of degree of passion, but I don’t see it as a rule. The experts will tell you different. From the point of view of developing a brand and polishing your style there is definitely a strong reason to try to write in one genre. Know that the boundaries of writing go as far as the mind of the writer, and in my opinion, imagination and creativity and boundless. I don’t follow the stick to a genre rule. The answer becomes clearer as you grow in your craft.
What is the most important thing to do when trying to become a writer?
Write, but aside from developing a writing process/schedule, I think that it is educating yourself as much as you can in anything related to writing and publishing. You cannot craft a plan to follow a path without information, and knowing where you are headed. There are many books available now as well as websites, podcasts, videos, that you can utilize. Visit bestselling authors websites. Many of them offer tips for aspiring authors. Even the visual education you gain by studying their well-crafted websites is worth it.
I hope this has been helpful and that you continue to educate yourself in the craft, but most of all that you embrace your passion for writing and run with it.
Although we had a mild winter, for some reason, it feels a long one. We had a bit of a cool down this week, and even frost overnight. I am glad that I did not jump ahead and planted any veggies, otherwise the timing would have been wrong.
In life, perfect timing seems to be an important issue, more than money or drive. How many times people have had all the money and resources, but it was just not the “right time?” Whatever the project or venture, it did not come to fruition. Immediately, we tend to label it as failure, and even label ourselves as such. What was important for us were results. We forget quickly about the journey, all the effort, work, and focus we put into a project. As if that doesn’t count at all. We only see that we failed. Simply put, results were more important than the journey itself. By disregarding our journey, we forget the lessons learned, and sometimes, the lesson is more important than the result we were hoping for, but we fail to see it because we are too focused on the outcome. After all, we labor hard for something, right? Most people do. We trade something for something else. Time for money, money for things … In the meantime, we forget all that we learned, and how it shaped us. Because we are so conditioned to trade something for something, when we trade our hard work and effort, our mental focus, even emotional energy, and something does not materialize at the end, we blame and label ourselves as failure, and even punish ourselves deep in our hearts. We end up feeling frustrated, tired, lost, and another mental game starts. We think that there must be something wrong with us because we start comparing ourselves to others who have obtained the results we wanted and worked so hard, even sacrificed for, but never materialized. Once we jump into that rollercoaster, our self-esteem is (naturally) going to suffer; then, our trust and believe in ourselves are lost.
What is perfect timing? Many define it as being in the right place at the right time, other people as a kiss from Lady Luck. I define it as learning to be quiet enough that I can see the picture, appreciate the lesson, and wait for the direction that God has for me. I view perfect timing as God’s timing, separate from my human perception of how things should be and end. Learning that has made a difference in my life and how I define success and failure. Perfect timing is God’s speed.
Dreaming starts early in life. It starts wishing for favorite toys and things we want as kids, and it continues to evolve to more complex desires, material, such as a car or a house, and even nonmaterial things such as success, financial freedom, and so on. I don’t think that there is anyone on this planet that does not have at least one dream.
For many of us, our most precious dreams manifest late in life; other people never get to realize their dream, and others struggle all their life in pursuit of something that never materializes. Other people realize what they thought was their dream, was actually not after achieving it. Sometimes, our dreams can overshadow a main purpose. That is, we are so focused on achieving what we want (or think we want) that we forget the main objective, which might be different from our dream. For example, let’s say that I run a shop to raise money for a cause. The main purpose is to make as much money to benefit such cause. However, I had a dream of owning an upscale boutique, and the shop is fulfilling a small part of that dream, emotionally that is. Ideally, and keeping to the main purpose of raising money for a cause, I would price items at various price points to attract as many people as possible in order to achieve my main purpose. However, my own dream gets in the way and overshadows my main objective. I start thinking of more upscale items that will attract specific buyers, and not the number of customers I need coming through the doors in order to achieve the main purpose. In this example, my personal dream overshadowed my main objective which was to raise as much money as possible for a cause. Another example, it is also the case of parents who live their dream through their kids. The kid’s own dreams take second place and so does parenting. These are just two examples but this can apply to many things in life, including writing.
We are emotional beings and sometimes, the strings of the heart play a louder melody, thus deafening us to our main objective. To dream is in our nature, and so is to strive and achieve a purpose/objective. Sometimes, those two don’t necessarily align well. When in doubt, go back to the main objective.
We can think that the moon is a slice of cheese, or we can see it for what it is. (Photo by M.A.D.)
If you are like me, you want to know as much as possible about a subject before jumping to conclusions or making decisions. I detest half-answers or uncertainty. However, life is a mystery in certain ways, and we don’t always have all the information when we need it. It is part of what makes life worth living, in a way, full of challenges and mystery, usually when you least expect it; call it the lessons of life, sort of.
Uncertainty brings with it not only lack of information, but sometimes, half-truths, bad timing, and sometimes even fear of the unknown. How do you find courage in the midst of all that? How do you navigate through uncertainty in a sea of half-truths, unanswered questions, and lack of information when you want answers fast? Uncertainty drags the soul towards fear. Courage is found through hope, and hope through prayer. Prayer is the best tool when uncertainty lingers in your life and the dawn seems to take longer that you had hoped. Finding courage in the midst of uncertainty is just a prayer away.
Ever had a time in your life when everything seemed to go wrong, and you didn’t know why? I mean, you even questioned your existence or desired to cease to exist. Many years ago, I had such an experience, an entire decade. During that time, I lost so much. I lost my beloved grandmother, who raised me and was a mother to me. I also lost two brothers, six much-adored pets that I loved as my kids, almost everything I owned, and I almost lost myself. Why am I sharing this very personal experience? Well, because I believe now that we are put on this earth to be beacons of light to others, and if there is one person out there that has lost its way during a bad life-storm, then it is worth writing about it.
That decade left me shriveled and tired, out of breath, questioning everything; I was emotionally and physically drained. However, upon reflecting on that very dark time, I realized that there was a constant. That constant was the love of God, even when I could not feel it at that moment. Events and moments like that blindfold you, and you cannot think straight or weave two thoughts together, neither give of yourself to anything or anyone. As sad, desperate, drained or disconnected as you may feel, there is one thing that you can do, and that is talk to the one that made you and put you on this earth for whatever purpose, whether you see it or not. God is always accessible and ready to listen, when you are ready to talk.
During those dark days I found that this was the only constant in my life. The love of Jesus was ready to embrace me, if I would only let it. With time, day after day, I saw God’s hand working in my favor, rendering the help I had asked for, and working all the details. It let me to believe and know that He is just a prayer away, ready to intervene in my life if I only let go of my walls of darkness and call upon Him. The love of God transcends the material and immaterial, so anything that you might think is too much and is breaking you, that love can heal anything in your life. Just ask with your heart open; He is next to you, ready to answer. Just give it a try; I did.
I find myself at “that age,” when I finally feel that a bridge has been crossed, and the perspective from the other side of the bridge is very different from the side left behind. I can surely say that life takes a different meaning from that point of view. The things I wanted then are very different from the things I want now. One of “those things” that I have learned is to stop trying to “fix” people. What I thought in my younger years that people needed to hear, was not necessarily what needed to be said. Advice should not be given unless it is requested. Pretending to know what people need in their lives, how they should live or fix their problems, even when it is meant with a good heart, is wrong, especially when the advice isn’t requested. When we are young, we want to change the world and we might take that feeling and desire and translate it to offering wisdom from our “fresh” point of view, especially when the person is happy and satisfied with how a life is being lived. Why assume another person’s life is broken? Because it is not suitable to our standards? Why assume that our way is the only way, and the other person needs anything from us to be fulfilled, not left behind? Why “fix” their existence?
With age comes maturity. Many steps have been taken and the soles of one’s shoes are worn enough. I’ve stopped giving advice that is not solicited. I’ve stopped thinking that I have the right answer. I’ve learned that there is no need to prove a point, unless someone asks for my opinion. I’ve learned to love and shut up, to enjoy my way while accepting other people’s right to live their way without harming others, even when I don’t share their opinion of how they handle situations. There is a modern say, “You do you.” In a way, I understand it. It is not to say that I don’t care about what goes on, consequences, moral issues, the illnesses of a society … all of that is real, and needs to be addressed, first, in our life and circle, then by supporting the agencies that fight against the injustices and crimes committed in society, however, that is another subject, and very different from the topic of this article.
Crossing the bridge gave me a sense of peace and understanding of having been once at the other side. With peace comes understanding, with understanding, acceptance, with acceptance comes the realization that what I thought was good for me is not necessarily good for another in their own journey. Although many suggestions and opinions come from a place of love and genuine concern; however, it is not a “one fits all” reality. I might be hot-tempered at times, maybe somewhat opinionated, still dreaming of a better world, but no longer do I give or take unsolicited advice. The bridge has been crossed.
“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye but do not notice the log that is in your own eye.”
There is no “perfect life,” only life surrounded by circumstances and what one makes of it all. A simple life is as simple as one makes it, and as sweet as one wants it to be, despite the ups and downs that living on this imperfect world brings. One can do it alone or approach it simply with faith. It is then that it becomes sweet. As a person of faith, I understand that there is so much I can do on my own, and when my efforts are not enough, I give it all to the one that makes things sweeter and simpler, Jesus Christ.
Realizing my human limitations and weaknesses has made me understand my spiritual strength and power in Jesus. It truly changes perspective and expectations. We are about to enter a new phase for this country and the world. Depending on your stance in faith you will find it a blessing or not. Simple living isn’t devoid of challenges and troubles; it is not perfect, but it can be sweet. The difference is simply faith. The shifting of one’s focus to see the everyday blessings instead of the troubles, and the certainty and knowledge that God is always a prayer away, and that is next to you.
The pursuit of a simple life is what you make of it, and you don’t have to move to the country to find it. It is a knock-knock away, when you answer His call.
I hope you have enjoyed The Simple Life series of posts, and that somehow you have found simple inspiration. I wish for you a blessed life of sweet satisfaction.
I wish I could say that living a simpler life is simply easy, but I’ve found that there was (and is) a lot of work involved, dedication as well. For us, it meant to tackle a huge list of things to do as well as learning the other things we needed to learn to do those things efficiently and economically in a limited amount of time. To read more on that you can visit Fixing an Old Farmhouse series of posts. It also meant leaving some things behind, some we didn’t want to leave, and some we did. We also had to deal with the pressures that come with all of that, but most important, we had to work as a team, be on the same page, and define what good work and accomplishment meant for us. We had to realize that each day brought new challenges, and every day was different. The cookie-cut routine was over, and there was no room for costly mistakes. We had to reach a new level of trust as a couple, and trust that “I got your back” was enough. Enough to get the job done and keep on going with the blessing of the Lord.
Hard days behind gave way to plans and possibilities, and a sense of balance, and with it, a feeling of good work and accomplishment, the sweet satisfaction of the challenge. There will always be good days and less than perfect days, and a list of to-dos; however, as long as “got your back” remains our motto, simple living becomes sweet living. Living the simple life entails realizing that each day brings challenges and blessings of its own along with sweet satisfaction.
New challenges are about to test people in this country and worldwide. Our faith, values, and belief systems will be tested in ways we are not accustomed to. As a people, as a nation, we might have to learn to “get each other’s backs” and come together as one.
Inkspeare 