Jesus

Filaments of Your Being

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This morning, my heart was heavy. Sometimes, no matter where one looks, on this material state of being, of existing on this very troubled planet, one cannot escape the effects of all of it, in the heart, the emotions … it robs a bit of inner peace. As human beings, we bring all these emotions into the material, to ourselves, our heart, mind, our tense body … we internalize all these things; it is only human to do so.

After a good conversation with God, and giving it all to Jesus, I feel much better, renewed. This morning, after my conversation, I closed my eyes and relaxed a bit. My cat was in my lap. She is 17 years old, lost pretty much her eyesight, and although she manages very well around the house, she has become much more dependent on me. She fell asleep on my lap while purring with contentment. A thought crossed my mind; it was, “My love is bigger than the filaments of your being.” I did not understand it at first, but a bit later, I did.

Upon meditating on this, I realized that I should look up the word filaments. Although I knew the meaning of the word very well, I felt that I needed to deepen what I knew about it a bit more in order to understand the phrase, so I did. After consulting several dictionaries online, all of them pretty much settling on the word filament as a fine or thin fiber, thread, material, a component of a structure …, the definition that caught my attention was the one used in biology – a filament is a long thread comprised of protein subunits. These subunits can be made of single protein molecules or polypeptide chains that join to form …(study.com) After analyzing the word, I understood what God was trying to tell me, in my mind and heart.

I understood that His love is bigger than my physical state of being, it surpasses all of it; after all, He created every filament of my being, of my existence. I understood that while the troubles and feelings of living on this earth, this material place, might be overwhelming at times, He understands me, and He wants to assure me that His love surpasses all that, into the other part of my being, my soul, and my spirit. In other words, He was telling me, “I got you girl; I more than got you.” Because He holds together every thread, every fiber/filament of my being and existence. That is all I need to know.

A Robin’s Tale

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Robin (Photo by M.A.D.)

Since childhood, we are conditioned to see things as useful, utilitarian, and with a purpose. We learn it from our parents, at school, and later on, from all the messages we receive from society. The messages tell us that things must have a purpose, a use, to be valuable. We learn to equate utility with value, and eventually, with how good or bad things are. It is a subtle message, one that can hardly be spotted in our minds, in the way we view and judge things/people/life.

The robins are back, a sign that the lovely weather of spring days will soon arrive. Although they have their place in nature, it is not obvious to me how they impact an environment. At first glance, they might not seem “useful” at all, but for me, it is a sight that besides beauty, it brings me joy, peace, and relaxation. For me, they are valuable. Things don’t have to always be useful to be valuable. The mere existence of those pudgy birds is enough. God made them perfect.

Sometimes, we judge ourselves, we measure ourselves with the same ruler. We judge our value according to how “useful” we are, to how much we do in a day, how successful we are in life, how much money or possessions we have, or not. We go a step further and we compare ourselves to other people, whom we also judge, and we mentally and emotionally assign ourselves a “place” in the timeline of success. We think that we are in a lesser position than we should be, or that we are not enough according to those imaginary standards.

The same God who created the robins created us with value to Him. As part of His magnificent and perfect creation we have a valuable place in it, whether we see it or not. Maybe if we can accept our being, the immense value we have to our Creator, we might not be so harsh unto ourselves, and maybe, we will start seeing ourselves and our brothers and sisters with the loving eyes of our Creator, who is the perfect source of it all, including us, and the robins.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well.”

Psalm 139:14

The Mystifying Nature of Time

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The other day, I had a conversation with my sister that made me think about time, mortality, and my perception of these. She watched a video in which a former supermodel now in her sixties, said that if she were to live until her eighties, she will have about 20 more summers to enjoy. Being about her age, the realization that 20 summers is not too many hit me. Imagine writing these numbers down and crossing each one as time goes by and realizing that 20 is such a finite number and thus, the fragility and brevity of one’s existence. Overwhelming on paper for sure.

Time is aloof. It is long, it is short, it is real, but also measured by our kind, by our humanity. It is freely given; it is used and misused. It is ignored when we think we have much of it but wanted when it seems scarce or limited. It is a blessing but a curse for many. Perception defines it, for every person differently; we give it meaning. It is constant but forgettable. It is natural but also, supernatural and mystifying.

Summers come and go. I never thought about them as a finite number. When I think of what I did last summer, much of it eludes me. Did I enjoy it? Did it just go by as any other season? For some reason, when you start numbering your summers, your life seems to have gone faster, time seems to speed up, and the realization of how fragile one’s existence is, and how special it is as well, certainly puts many things into perspective. Memories are markings of the passing of time. I guess that my point to all of this rambling is that time is a gift, a blessing we are given, and our days are not guaranteed. No one knows for sure what this day will bring, or if it will be the last, so in that sense, would a number even matter?

For us time is linear, but also, it is more than that. Just think of everything that happens at once in your life, with all your interactions, and the people in your circle and beyond, all around you, all interconnected in some supernatural and natural way. Live well the blessing of a new day and be grateful for the time that has been given to you; it is all a gift from above. I am certainly looking forward to this summer.

Photo by M.A.D.

The Last Thread

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One Day at a Time

When life does not seem to go as expected and might feel as if we are being tested beyond our strength, it may seem as if we are hanging from the last thread. The thread seems to unravel more and more with every feeling, emotion, and physical/mental response we experience during times of turmoil, sadness, and desperation. Sometimes, the intensity of what we are experiencing is so difficult to endure that exhausted as we feel, we might as well let go of that last thread. Some people do. Others see a little bit of hope on that last bit of strength and hold on for dear life, praying for better days or a miracle, and somehow, it happens. As long as you don’t let go, it happens. You are made stronger as you hold on tight; you are renewed as you pray every single day, and sometimes, even every single moment of the day. Somehow, you are lifted up, changed, renewed and refreshed, and you see the light around you. Where there was darkness, now there is light, and you can begin to see it.

Because that act of faith, of holding on, of praying, you were lifted up and made anew. Something changed. You experienced the love of God, a miracle. Holding on tight to the last Thread? Don’t let go; pray. You are being sustained by the love of God, who heard you pray, and your miracle is about to happen.

Beauty of the Human Race

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Every New Year’s Eve, my husband and I watched the New York City celebrations on TV. It is something that has become a tradition and we enjoy very much. This year, as I watched, I realized something that although in plain view, escaped my mind before, and I did not give it a second thought. As I watched the crowd, I saw a sea of diversity, people from every ethnic background, color, race, age, gender … They were all celebrating together, smiling, dancing, hoping. At that time, these people were one in experience. I thought of it as one of the most beautiful things one can witness in a lifetime, the oneness of us.

The human race is so beautiful. The more I focused on each face on the crowd the more I felt this internal connection of belonging to something greater than myself. I saw hope reflecting; I saw such beauty in God’s creation. We are all different, but one race. We might look different, speak different languages, have different cultures, but we are one race. There is such beauty in that. In this climate of division and hate, let us realize that we came from one Creator who loves us all the same. Some of us might have fallen in darkness more than others, but we are loved the same. If only we could realize the mystery of His creation, that we have the breath of God in us, His light, and that just because of that, we are one in many, but also the wonder of being, of existing as part of His creation. If we could understand that each one of us was meant to be, we would feel more connected, and maybe we would understand that God does not make mistakes, or garbage, or less than … that would be denial of His own nature. We are all in this together and we are part of something beautiful, of something holy.

I leave you with a poem that I wrote years ago and came to mind as I wrote this post.

One in many

On this day I shall wish

many blessings, harmony

When the night gives in to day

and the day nestles the night,

we will be as one in many.

Shine your light for it will be

as the beacon one will see

Always seek your love to give

without measure, plenty and free.

As you give you will receive,

one in many it has been.

Me, You, It, one and the same,

Love, One Source, is One in many.

As you wish it will be done,

may you wish, joy, peace, and love

For it returns the wish to wisher,

two ten fold, as one in many.

***

Because Sometimes, Change is Good

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Where did the year go? For me, it was truly a whirlwind that swept me in many directions, expected and unexpected, some good, some not so good; however here I am, thankful for it all, and looking forward to next year experiences, whatever they might be. It is life; it means I am alive and open to God’s plan for my life. This is my last post for the year, and I was not sure of what to write to end the year. I did not want it to be another holiday post, so here I am, winging it. Just think of it as a conversation from the heart.

Sometimes, we let ourselves be influenced by others, whether that be media, friends, family, acquaintances, influencers, groups, religion, politics … You name it. Everyone has anything to say about how we should live and plan our existence, but when we think about it, nobody really has the answers. Life is given to us to experience and fulfill it, one day, moment, second at a time. When you think about it, it is beautiful. We were presented with this gift that we did not ask for, and we have the freedom to live it. Whatever things are thrown in the package, it is all ours to make something of it. We are all one big conglomerate in the human race; we all want to live a happy and peaceful, joyful life. We are more similar than not. Hate is a disease, it is sickness. Love is a cure. We decide. We might be influenced, negatively or positively, but we decide. We decide how to act, react, and what to let into our life, what we give our attention to, and how we live day by day. In the end, we only have this day, and sometimes, not even a full one; our seconds are in the hand of our Creator, but so are our blessings. Does it really matter if someone else has more than you? or if you did not meet your goals this year? Does it? When I think about it, and in the big scheme of the journey, it truly does not. I don’t know how long my journey is, no one does, so why not choose love over sickness, inner peace over discontent, gladness over bitterness, and hope, especially hope. The journey is meaningless without hope, and faith.

I hope that you embrace the holiday season and next year with hope, faith, and at peace with yourself, the rest will come when it needs to come. When God made you, he knew who he made, but also, your journey. Your journey is not meant to be stationary; it is meant to be full of change, and change brings growth, knowledge, and understanding, and with understanding comes kindness, and with kindness, love. In that sense, change is good.

I wish you and yours a joyous holiday season and may next year be filled with the kind of blessings that only come from above, the best kind, in my opinion. Merry Christmas! God bless you all.

Love and Light,

Inkspeare

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6 NKJ)

Till’ the Cows Come Home

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Contrast is revelation.

We can pray till’ the cows come home, but …

1 Corinthians 13:1-8 (NIV)

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Jesus taught us to love.

He blessed the children. He fed the hungry. He healed the sick. He spoke peace not war. He forgave his enemies. He forgave sins. He loved all, including the outcasts. He liberated the oppressed. He gave his life for all, the greatest act of love. What is not of Love, is not of God.

Contrast is revelation.

The Real Jesus, and What He Was Not

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I have seen a lot of confusion, misinformation, and misinterpretation around what people believe Jesus was like. This is in part because these days and for a long time, Christianity has been corrupted, and by that, I mean that Jesus’ core message has been manipulated and corrupted in many ways, and by many so-called Christian leaders. I am a Christian and you might think I am biased, but on the contrary, I approach my faith with an open mind and what I believe does not come from a preacher’s mouth; instead, I focus on the Jesus persona, what He was like, his teachings, and how He lived his life during the time He was on Earth. I also look at the resurrection and what He was like after that event. In other words, I have studied and still do, His life and words that are recounted on the first four books of the New Testament on the traditional bible. These books are Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John. These books give detail on Jesus’ life, each written from a unique perspective.

When reading these four books, I can see how Jesus interacted with all kinds of people, and the different situations He encountered and how He lived through them, in other words, His example. One thing I have found is that He operated in love all the time, as well as kindness. He was not judgmental when a sinner approached Him, on the contrary, He was kind and understanding. Jesus always said the right thing. He did not boast his money, and He had it; remember the gifts from the three kings? These were some of the most expensive gifts back then, and I imagine these kings did not present whom they thought was the savior/king with just a few items of gold … more like a big load. Most people think He was poor, the image we have been sold. So instead of acting like an inflated baboon, Jesus humbled himself and saw everyone as a person worth relating to and knowing. He interacted with prostitutes, thieves, tax collectors (who were truly despised back then), the very sick, the lepers whom everybody avoided, the backstabbers, the adulterers, the money lovers, the quick in temper … and so on.

These four books are filled with all kinds of situations that people might encounter in their lives at any time and place in history. How Jesus navigated these situations is the best example of Christianity, and that is how Christianity came to be, out of His message to all. Today, and throughout history, we have seen examples of so-called Christians who act in the name of Christianity, and their actions are the opposite of what Jesus was and taught. I truly understand when people want to stay away from Christianity. It is because what they perceive, as the message of Jesus has been corrupted, diluted, manipulated by many religious groups that operate in hate, judgement and a “small mind,” thus completely out of love.

There is a very popular saying -WWJD- What would Jesus do? This simple question brings us back to the core of Jesus’ message. The only way to know what this message truly was is to study His life, how He lived and what He said. That is true Christianity, the real Jesus.

Decade of Doom and Gloom

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Ever had a time in your life when everything seemed to go wrong, and you didn’t know why? I mean, you even questioned your existence or desired to cease to exist. Many years ago, I had such an experience, an entire decade. During that time, I lost so much. I lost my beloved grandmother, who raised me and was a mother to me. I also lost two brothers, six much-adored pets that I loved as my kids, almost everything I owned, and I almost lost myself. Why am I sharing this very personal experience? Well, because I believe now that we are put on this earth to be beacons of light to others, and if there is one person out there that has lost its way during a bad life-storm, then it is worth writing about it.

That decade left me shriveled and tired, out of breath, questioning everything; I was emotionally and physically drained. However, upon reflecting on that very dark time, I realized that there was a constant. That constant was the love of God, even when I could not feel it at that moment. Events and moments like that blindfold you, and you cannot think straight or weave two thoughts together, neither give of yourself to anything or anyone. As sad, desperate, drained or disconnected as you may feel, there is one thing that you can do, and that is talk to the one that made you and put you on this earth for whatever purpose, whether you see it or not. God is always accessible and ready to listen, when you are ready to talk.

During those dark days I found that this was the only constant in my life. The love of Jesus was ready to embrace me, if I would only let it. With time, day after day, I saw God’s hand working in my favor, rendering the help I had asked for, and working all the details. It let me to believe and know that He is just a prayer away, ready to intervene in my life if I only let go of my walls of darkness and call upon Him. The love of God transcends the material and immaterial, so anything that you might think is too much and is breaking you, that love can heal anything in your life. Just ask with your heart open; He is next to you, ready to answer. Just give it a try; I did.

Diamonds in the Rain

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Life is not always fair. Sometimes, we are presented with heavy blows and challenges so difficult or unfair that we may think we don’t have any strength left to deal with life. I know; I have been there myself a few times. It is on those tempestuous days when it is easier to go with the flow, walk with a clouded mind, because even thinking hurts (and forget about feeling, you can even go there), that we think less of ourselves. It is as we are punishing ourselves for life’s dealings and for not being the perfect hero we should be. We are fed a heroic image since our childhood, and when we cannot be even a third of that image, we think that we might be the biggest failures on the planet. Well, if anything, we are human, very human, and being human is not an excuse for stopping and letting people and situations use us as a punching bag, neither an excuse to be less. We must pause, yes, but to recharge, to ponder, to regain perspective, and to continue the journey, fair or unfair as it might seem. There is an adage that goes “Pick up the pieces and keep going,” or something along those lines. The “keep going” part is not the difficult part. The hard part is to “pick up the pieces.” When your life has been shattered in billion pieces, at one point, when you are bending as much and as long as you can to pick up those pieces, and each piece reflects back a part of you, you start counting them, and the task seems unsurmountable. That is why it might be easier to go at it one piece at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time, without counting, recounting, or even regretting what has already been recounted more than once. Life can present us with light showers, heavy storms, and even hurricanes, at any time. It is call living. So we are not the heroes we though we grew up to be? Then we must change suits, and suit up for the occasion, as best as we can under the circumstances. We cannot do it alone? Who said we had to do it alone? God is there at all times, whether we choose to see it or not, and Jesus is just waiting for us to call on him. We don’t have to go it alone if we don’t want to. We tend to be hard on ourselves, and less forgiving. We place so much pressure on ourselves, sometimes more than God puts on us. After all, He wants us to love Him, love one another, and welcome His son Jesus into our lives. That sounds less demanding to me than being Mr./Mrs. Perfect – Know it all – Super Performer Hero/Heroine that bleeds success when poked, and is unstoppable. Aspiring is beautiful, achieving is lovely and rewarding in its own way as well, but it is not the only important thing. Our soul is, and it is very easy to lose track of it in the storms of life.

We are all humans and life is not always fair; however, we can start seeing the diamonds in the rain, one by one. God put them there for a reason.

Diamonds in the rain. Photo by M.A.D.