new year goals

Assuming an Identity in the New Year

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I have to become before I become. As I wrote a few things that I want to accomplish this year, the thought crossed my mind. I may develop a detail plan, but it truly does not mean anything unless I start modeling behavior, acting as the person I want to become in order to achieve the target goal. I have to become, in my mind and in my doing, the person I want to eventually become. To illustrate, I will use a simple example, a common goal that most people set – to save x amount of money by a certain day. In order to do that, I have to act as a saver. I have to become/model the behavior of a saver, a person who saves money. I have to act/be what I want to become in order to achieve what I want to achieve. That is just a simple example, but depending on how many layers a goal might have, that will determine how many identities I might have to assume in order to make it real.

As a writer, writing characters, identities, personality traits … become second nature. Eventually, by repeating a specific behavior that is required to achieve a specific result/outcome will become second nature as well. Just as a character grows and develops throughout the pages of a story, so do we, when we model what we want to become. With each layer, each modeled behavior, we grow from one initial step to the next, and so on, just as a character grows/evolves from chapter to chapter or a series.

Depending on the complexity of a goal, that is how many identities one might have to assume. Going back to the example of saving money, I will evolve it to a few more layers, let’s say, saving x amount (first layer) to pay debt (second layer) in order to build wealth (third layer) for a safer future (fourth layer). There are a few layers on this financial goal.

Goal layers – Identity/behavior

Saving money = Saver

Debt free = Frugal person/conscientious of spending

Build wealth = Spend less than you earn/Financially literate

Safer future = Wealth manager/manage money wisely

In each level of progress, a new identity emerges that the previous identity will support; it all interrelates and works together, but without “acting out the part,” without becoming or modeling the appropriate behavior, nothing will happen. Many times, we become overwhelmed by looking at the outcome first, but in reality, it is much manageable and real when we just look at the first step/ the first behavior, and let it evolve from there.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2 (NKJV)

“And have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him.” Colossians 3:10 (NKJV)

Photo by M.A.D.

Best of Wishes

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It is a windy and rainy day; I love days like this one. I can see leaves falling and hear the wind, as the raindrops hit the window glass. There is a mystifying and peaceful feeling about it, very serene. I feel tucked-in, secure inside, the warmth of home. I guess nature mimics that feeling, because all critters do the same; they are nestled in their habitats. On days like this one, one can help it but reminisce and hope for the promises of the new year. Soon, the holidays will be here and gone, and we are left with the expectation of a brand-new year, a fresh opportunity to do better, but in reality, every brand-new day is just that, a gift, a new opportunity. Whether to keep on going, to start over, or simply, be grateful for what is, it is a blessed gift. Some people say, “what matters is this moment;” but I think that what matters is what I do with this moment; we all have to live it, one way or another.

When we cease to exist, moments do not matter anymore; it all blends into eternity. I guess where we’ll spend it matters. Challenges come and go, dreams do as well. We live and give meaning and purpose to our living or we strive looking for it. If we find it, we count ourselves lucky, blessed; if we don’t, we search all our life, or feel cursed, not knowing that the mere act of living has purpose in itself, if we dare to see. Life reveals itself. It reveals its miracles every single day, and all of it in the midst of our challenges and blessings. The breath of the Creator is in every one of us. Every time that we open our eyes to receive the blessing of another day is reason enough, purpose in itself, to make the best of what we are given. Life will never be perfect, and there will always be challenges, ups and downs, the unexpected, and the undesirable, but with it, also the human God-given capacity to dream, to hope, to love, and to feel every second of our experience here, until we come home.

“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulder; and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

“May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord shine his face upon you and be gracious to you; may the Lord lift up his face upon you and give you peace.” Numbers 6: 24-26

Wishing you a very merry Christmas, a happy holiday season, and a blessed new year.

Have I Loved Enough?

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Photo by M.A.D.

As the holiday season approaches, and nature prepares for a deep sleep, I reminisce about the year and mentally review what transcurred, blessings and challenges considered. I cannot help but feel a sense of gratitude and humility, hope as well. Reviewing these events brings me a sense of grounding, but I also think of what I could have done better. I realize that at times, I should extend a bit of kindness to myself as to others. The hopeful outlook and anticipation of the new year set the stage for receiving what will be, whether challenging or not. One thing I ask myself is, have I loved enough this year? I realize the answer to that question will always be, “you can love more.” That is true for everyone. We can always extend our kindness and love more, each time being more understanding of others and less judgmental. Over the years, I have understood that I must strive to love everyone, whether I agree or disagree with their lifestyle or life choices.

God loves everyone the same, and I am not better in His eyes than another of His children. Yes, He doesn’t love me more. The same love He has for me, He has for the drug addict, the prostitute, the murderer, the rapist, the witch or the devil worshipper. In His eyes, they are also His children, and He wants them to come home to Him. His arms are always open for the ones who ask for forgiveness. Once I “understood” the immensity of His love for all His creation, I learned another dimension of love and kindness, one that is not so quick to judge, one of humility and understanding. It is under that humble approach that I ask myself, “Have I loved enough this year?”

Love and Light

A New Page

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New Year, new page. The arrival of a new year is an exciting time. It signifies a new beginning, a clean slate, a new page, a new opportunity to do the things we could not accomplish the past year; it is a chance to do better. We reflect on the past year and make new goals, new plans. Dream new dreams. Look into the future. A new year is full of new expectations and good wishes. Overall, we welcome a new year with a sense of hope and joy. There is something special about receiving the new year – a sense of renewal. I thought about it the other day, as I looked back at all this year brought into my life, and also, at what it took away. I realized that every single day offers this same opportunity of renewal. When we first open our eyes each day, it is a new slate, the chance of a new beginning, to do better than yesterday. Until next year.

Happy New Day! Happy New Year!

Inkspeare

Photo by M.A.D.

Crossroads

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Happy New Year to all!

As a new year starts, many times, we feel a sense of renewal, a chance to do over or start fresh. Sometimes, it feels as if we can erase the past year and welcome a brand new life. It is the start of new goals, the opportunity to encourage new ventures and new dreams. The first few weeks of the new year we either follow our plans/goals or we settle back into our old routine. However, a new year is still a new year, and comes full of opportunities, and that is great in itself.

I have to admit that this is the first year that I can recall feeling a bit disconnected and at a crossroads. My old self would have had pages of goals and projects waiting to be implemented. The woman writing this post has not written one goal down for this year. It is puzzling to me because I have always been an organized planner/doer. Starting a new year goal-uninspired as if staring at a blank slate is a bit alien to me. Soul searching has not rendered anything new worth implementing this year. Other than reassessing my endeavors and publishing the novel I have been working on for quite a while, I got nothing. Although this is unsettling and a bit of a nuisance, I have to admit that the novelty is sparking my curiosity and I truly long to know where all this is headed. This mystery translates into the feeling of being in front of an imaginary line, and not knowing how to step over it or cross it. For me, this is unusual. It brings on a bit of expectancy and confusion as well, and curiosity. One thing presents true in my mind, and that is my writing – the only sure thing right now.

In the real world I have tons of work to do – home projects, chores, and other duties. Long term goals are “fuzzy” right now, well, more like invisible. In other words, the pond is well stocked but the fisherman is taking a nap. The well is full but the pump is malfunctioning. The inkwell is not dry but the pen is missing.

May this year bring you joys as well as mystery, and if uncertainty shows up, may you embrace it as a path towards renewal. To be continued…

Inkspeare

Photo by Maria Diaz

Breaking a Lifetime Tradition

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December is almost here. For me, it always meant a time for reflection, introspection, rating of my performance, and goal setting or resetting. Over the years, for most of my adult life, and even younger, I followed the tradition of setting New Year goals. I enjoyed the process. Hot cocoa at hand, pen and paper, I would sit and think of the present year, review past goals, and silently rate my performance. I was good at keeping what I set to do, and I accomplished most goals. However, I was disappointed for what I didn’t do. It felt as if I came short of something. It always left me with an incomplete feeling, and even a bit of sadness. Then, I would decide if to include those unmet goals for the new year along with new ones. I would finish my cocoa, and be ready for a fresh start.

I changed all that. I don’t set goals quite like that anymore. Call it wisdom in aging, or whatever, I don’t rate my performance anymore. Instead, I’ve decided to think of the “meaningful thing” that I would like to do for the new year, whether it is only one thing or more. As far as planning for it, the only planning I will do is to make sure that everyday I try to take a step in that direction, and leave the lists, rating, and self-judging to the side. Discarded are the breaking into small manageable goals rituals, as well as written tasks, along with the self-reviews. Either I am on track to do a meaningful thing (to me) or I am not. Breaking a lifetime tradition is never easy, but it is as simple as that.