Losing a loved one is never easy. Whether a partner in life, a friend, or family member, it is one of the most painful experiences. Having to say goodbye when one is not ready is devastating, and it may render a person numb out of an unexpected dose of pain. One of the secondary themes in my novel The Five-dollar Miracle is the loss of a spouse, and the feelings and emotions that go with it.
Last year I experienced the loss of loved ones, and just a few weeks after I had finished writing a chapter dealing with this topic, a friend died unexpectedly leaving her partner experiencing the feelings of pain, loss, desolation, and so many other emotions that can only be described by someone who has gone through it.
As writers, we draw from our experiences when we try to convey through our writing, and the rest we imagine or draw from observation; we try to do the best we can when portraying what we have not experienced. Many times, we place ourselves in those situations fictionally, and try to understand or visualize the array of emotions surrounding a particular situation. At other times, inspiration seems to take our hand and guide us in our writing. We try our best, and as writers that is all we can do, but I can say with certainty that our writing will only match the synergy of our experience.
Tape measure (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Is it worth it? I have asked this a few times. It is a question that one time or another will cross your mind and heart. The answer to it is as individual as we are. It comes down to not so much the Why or What or even When but of How Much. How much do you want something (Fill the blank)? This is where the answer is. I have read countless of books on achieving goals/dreams and many of them focus on the Why. Find your why and you will find a reason. This is true; however, sometimes a reason is not enough, no matter how powerful. Sometimes it comes down to how much you want something, and is it worth the pain to achieve it. By pain I mean all the things you will have to do, modify, change, refuse, sacrifice, endure … to persevere to get what/where you want.
Is it a matter of time? To each its own, time is irrelevant, I have found (although necessary as a measure in the physical). It is my perception of time that matters. How long am I willing to keep on going, on believing, on working towards this or that, on waiting, on just being there, on trying, on moving on, on … How much am I willing to give? How much of my time, my energy, my effort, my hope, my faith, my focus, my interest, my … How much? How much longer will I … persevere? Is it worth it? The answer is as individual as you are. How Much for you is all about You. You, Me, we are in constant evolution. You, Me are one and of the same. It adds another layer, doesn’t it?