Today, I sat to write a blog post. I stared at the wall. Nothing came to mind right away. It felt as if the inkwell was dry. I thought about writing as a topic, maybe a secondary theme in my novels; the inspiration eluded me. Only one single thought kept crossing my mind over and over, a sort of phrase – the ever presence of God. After I dismissed it a couple of times, I went back to writing as a topic, and then, I surrendered to this phrase and decided to go with it wherever it took me.
Sometimes, we feel alone, lost, and the disappointments in life have piled up on top of one another forming a huge mountain, unsurmountable, at least to our human eyes – the mount of “if and nevers.” It starts eating away your thoughts, your inspiration, your confidence, your happiness, your trust. Then, you feel removed from purpose, far away from your Creator, unable to hear or feel the divine presence.
I looked up the word ever. Ever – At all times. At any time. In any way or case; at all. (American Heritage Dictionary) Then, I understood. The ever presence of God is constant, at all times, at any time, in any way or case; at all.
It is good to know this. It is a good reminder. It is of comfort to know this. The ever presence of God is. Whether we feel alone or far away. It just is, and ever present. Today, I sat to write a blog post. The ever presence of God was there.
Finding purpose seems to be a human purpose in itself. The quest that many times keeps us awake at night. What is my purpose in life? I used to ask myself that for so many years, and the answer seemed to elude me always. I engaged in many endeavors; pretty much, what I fancied at the time, I did. It was just a matter of doing it. I failed many times; I enjoyed many others, and so the tiny bits of happiness those endeavors brought. It seemed to me that once I was satisfied and “done” with something, I was on to something else. There was a sense of missing purpose in the back of my mind. Still is, but only at times. It presents itself as a question – am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? I remember telling someone who had been a teacher all her life, that I could not picture myself doing one thing for all my life. She told me, “I hope you find what you are looking for.” Very wise woman.
It wasn’t until I read this biblical verse that things became more clear for me. I had read the same verse many times, and yet I never saw the connection until one day, when I was feeling a bit lost in my current at the time endeavor.
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” (Mathew 5:16)
What could be a bigger purpose than that? It doesn’t matter what I am doing at a particular time, as long as it serves that purpose. It is even bigger than I thought purpose could be for me. It is even intimidating, as filling those shoes is a quest in itself for such an imperfect me. When I read it, I understood that everything I do must cast a light that glorifies my creator. Wow, I thought; this is too big to even comprehend, and yet so simple and straight forward. It changed the way in which I view purpose now.
If you are searching for purpose, wherever you are in life, think about this verse. It will give meaning to it. Purpose won’t feel so far away or eluding you. I have written this verse on a card and placed it where I sit in the morning everyday, just so I don’t forget, because I tend to be an imperfect human who might forget her blessings at times. Someone who thinks that letting her light shine before men is challenging enough.
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“Sometimes we may think we are on the right path, but only to find that we have wandered without a purpose.”
This was my reply to one of my posts that gave birth to this post. Many of us may be familiar with this quote “Not all who wander are lost” (J.R.R. Tolkien – The Lord of the Rings). I am a fan of it. It may seem to contradict my earlier statement, however it does not. Sometimes, wandering takes a purpose on its own – a purpose of exploring, of wonder, of self-love, self-help, of the lessons that one has to learn to be able to set foot on the right path. I can surely say that I have wandered for most of my life. At times I felt lost, sometimes I sworn I was in the right path, on the right direction, and at other times, I realized that the detour was necessary for my personal enrichment and enlightenment. However, in all my wandering there was always a purpose, it was never aimlessly. Wether that purpose was right for me at the time or not, is not important, because it made me wander the paths that made me who I am today.
Yes, there are many times that I look back and say, “If I wouldn’t have taken that turn, I will probably would have accomplished this and that, and save some time in the process. However, I recognize that those lessons were necessary for my spirit and for my mind. Today, the quote “Not all who wander are lost” resonates with me as true as ever.