existence

The Quest for Mind Domination – Our Quest

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English: Earth rotation as seen against the Mi...

English: Earth rotation as seen against the Milkyway-background. Animation from 20 single exposures with a DSLR on an motorized, equatorial mount. Deutsch: Rotation der Erde gegenüber dem Milchstrassenhintergrund. Animation aus 20 Einzelaufnahmen mit einer DSLR auf motorisierter, äquatorialer Montierung. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The other day, I was thinking about what makes “me” and inevitably, I went down memory lane, visiting childhood and young adult memories.  I saw a young mind being shaped by the people and experiences around it, a series of beliefs, traditions, cultural traits … which began clothing and molding “me.”   Although I turned out a decent human being, I realized that I could have shed out a few of those beliefs or ideas, with which I was not totally in tune with (as a young adult and older), but accepted anyway, since they had been passed on by generations and culture.

Many times, we feel obligated to believe or “honor” a system of beliefs/values/information that has been passed along in our upbringing and we end up living our life in a constant silent battle of ideas.  Our mind has been dominated by other’s beliefs/ideas and they have nested in us for so long, that even when we feel that we no longer need them, we feel obligated to carry them with us, in fear of dishonoring someone’s memory or culture or social ties.  We don’t realize the harm that we are doing to “me” when we keep holding on to ideas that do not fit us anymore.

In being fair to “me” I realized that one can only continue to grow and evolve if one sheds out all that does not feel in tune with the actual self, with the person that is and continues to be, whether that be religious, social, or cultural ideas.  Is that an easy thing to do? Not really; most likely, you will encounter opposition from many sides, internal and external, as well as judgement or pre-assumptions.  The real issue here is, do you keep evolving or do you “play nice” and hold on to those ideas (which do not serve you anymore) for self-preservation (avoiding judgement or hurting feelings).

It takes guts to say, “I am finally free and I don’t have to believe in anything anymore; I just am.”  The key words here are have to.  When you feel that you have to believe or accept an idea which you have outgrown you are denying the essence of being; you are reversing the process of creation, of creativity.  You may exist, but you are not – you are not creating, you are un-creating.  You are denying your essence (I’m not talking about ego here).  I choose to believe that I am part of a greater and collective creation, and that in order to honor (LOVE) that essence, first, I must honor (LOVE) my own.  To be (part of creation), first I have to know and respect that I am.  By acknowledging that, I am opening the door to LOVE, the essence to all.

 

The Ghost of a Thousand Lives

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Ghost?!

Ghost?! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Muse made me do it …

The Ghost of a Thousand Lives

Where is the crown that makes you king?

Where is the sword that shines of courage?

Where is the stare that froze a thousand fires?

Where is the fire that melts an iceberg heart?

Where have you gone, the eyes cannot see,

If not but a speck of the brave, nor a sunshine ray,

In the depths of the soul, the hero is lost,

All that remains … the ghost of a thousand lives.

Dear Child

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Photo by M. Diaz

 

 

Dear Child,

Find me in the stillness of your soul, in the nature of things, their purity, their essence.  Find me in the song of the day, the sounds of a new beginning, the voice of a start as pure as the essence of your soul.  Dear child, find me in the time, the seconds, the hours… find me in the voice of the unknown yet to be revealed.  Find me, but most of all, find yourself, for there I reside.

Where to Go from Now

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Where to go from now?  This is a question that many of us ask, as we tend to worry sick about the future – career, finances, relationships …  We make plans, lists, life maps … you name it, in the hopes of being too careful about how we live our lives and plan our future.  We dream of better days, success, and happy lives … and that is good – planning for the future is good; however, we forget about the Now.

It doesn’t matter if you consider yourself a worry wart or  not, we all do it – we lose sleep about the promotion, the query, the bills … however, we forget to live the life that we have been gifted on this day.  Sometimes, it takes an unfortunate event, or a series (in stubborn cases) to make us realize that the important moment is the one that we have been given by our next breath, and the gift of a brand new day.  NOW is what truly matters.  I was having this conversation with one of my sisters and we agreed on how futile it is to sweat the big and small stuff when it hasn’t even showed up.

One of my favorite quotes from the bible Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 reads,

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to
embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”

I like it because it reminds me of the Now and of the human condition and nature.  In my opinion, this verse “gets us.”  Sometimes, we don’t even understand our purpose under the sun; however, the Now is always there, and all we have to do is live it.

Next time the question “Where to go from now?” pops in your mind (or heart) answer it with a simple NOW.

The Mausoleum Writer

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This post was inspired by a postcard that my husband received in yesterday’s mail.  It was a promotional card for buying your own mausoleum.  The card is truly cute and kind of happy for such death talk.  It is colorful and direct to the point, and I thought that the message was delivered in a smart sassy way and pushed the right buttons – family – significant other – guilt.  The words Always and Alone are written in a fun aqua font so talking about the creepy topic is not so creepy, and that leaving the ones that you Always loved Alone to take care of the arrangements, is taken care ahead of time.  This marketing card is going to get noticed for certain – look at me, I’m writing about it on this blog.  It stands out from other too serious and “party of life poopers” promotional/marketing ads for funerals and mausoleums.  The funny thing is that my husband and I have not even reached the age of 50 yet.  But this got me thinking.  Once you are over the hill, society starts thinking of your funeral, assisted living or nursing home care, life insurance, reversible mortgages … and so on, the promotional/marketing literature keeps on coming, because this is how you are seen, with just a few steps closer to one of those alternatives.

This got me thinking some more – do I view myself in the same light?  The answer to that question was a bit conflicting and this is why.  I, for certain, don’t feel closer to a mausoleum or a nursing home, on the contrary, I feel young, healthy, and with much yet to live and do.  On the other side, realizing that I passed forty and fifty is in the horizon, brings a sense of urgency to my projects and things that I want to accomplish before hitting the mausoleum or the nursing home.  I have read more than once, that starting a writing career in your forties, is starting a bit late, and for that matter, any other ventures that may require time ahead of you.  I have never agreed with that philosophy.  I think that each one of us goes on a journey, and the time is right when the time is right, and opportunities abound at each bent of road.  The important thing is to follow your call, live your dream, and love what you do, but do it – no matter what age you happen to be.

I resent being told what to expect at any age, and I don’t  like to be told what to do about it either.  I am far from a procrastinator; however, I believe that there is a time for everything under the sun, and the sun keeps shining until my last breath – and that is when I would become the Mausoleum Writer.

Here is a picture of the Happy Death Card.

 

The front of the card.

This is the back of it.  I hid the business name, but you can see the sense of urgency, the pretty and happy font, and tons of marketing psychology in between the lines.

 

We had a good chuckle.  Do you think that you are too old for a writing career?

 

 

 

Why Can’t I Have my Cake and Eat it Too?

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I have never been able to understand the expression “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”  It doesn’t make sense to me, and I always end up thinking “Why can’t I?”  Although it may mean that you cannot have your cake intact or whole and eat it at the same time, referring to wanting the best of two worlds or wanting more than you can handle, or even having it both ways, a popular phrase, I still think that it is possible to have your cake and eat it too.  It is all on the approach to whatever “the cake” means to you.

The way I see it, when we practice mindfulness, we can have the cake and eat it, one bite/moment at a time, and that makes a huge difference.  When we multitask or want it all at once, the expression might make sense; however, when we learn to enjoy every bite, as tiny as it may be, we are able to savor the cake while appreciating it at the same time.  Picture a whole delicious cake (your favorite), and take a whole chunk out of it, or many at once, it is not whole anymore, it doesn’t resemble the original cake.  Now, take the same cake and with a spoon or fork, pick up a bit of frosting or ganache, and dig a little deep deeper, enjoying every bite.  Now, look at it, it still resembles the original cake.  You are having your cake and you are eating it too, one delicious small bite at a time, minding every bite.  Apply this to life, the cake representing your dream or goal.

The above metaphor tells you that without celebrating the journey, things may feel a bit incomplete or hollow.  I realized this later in life because I always thought that I was supposed to celebrate when I reached the pinnacle.  It is what I was taught in school and how I was socialized – the journey doesn’t count.  It is how most of us are raised and socialized.  The way I see it now, without the journey and the celebration of it, the last stop, the pinnacle, may seem a bit empty once I arrive.  I also know that the pinnacle is only one part of the whole journey.

We have a choice; we can rush eating the cake or we can eat it slowly and enjoy every bite while still seeing the big picture.  Many times the journey is what makes the destination worthwhile.

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger – Does It?

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South Padre Island: A person takes advantage o...

South Padre Island: A person takes advantage of the early morning for peace and quiet. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How many times have you heard the phrase “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger?”  Probably countless of times, and usually from someone who is going through rough times.  I always agreed with it, that is, until I had to say it.  The issue with it is that it doesn’t tell the story.  It assumes that the person will have a quick recovery from what almost “killed” him or her.  The truth is that unless that person struggles and fights to stay afloat and takes action to become stronger, that person can become paralyzed, stuck, traumatized, and remain a “living dead,” broken and far away from being “strong.”

What if you went through a significant circumstance in your life which marked you in a way that although you know you have to keep going, it has become very hard to do so?  You may stay alive but with little to no strength to fight.  This may apply to different situations.  One thing that I have learned is that what doesn’t affect someone may paralyze another – we respond and deal with situations in our own way.  The struggle can be brief, or long, and the longer it takes, the outcome becomes either,

  • you become paralyzed in your own situation and fear – and stay iddling,
  • or you come out a bit wrinkled, tossed, teared, just as a thin piece of paper, but those creases are what made you hold on and keep it together.

In either case, you must take a step to come out.

Pondering about this, and notebook in hand, this is what I was inspired to write.

One way in which you can become stronger is by,

  • Asking for help – the kind that you might need, whether professional, financial, spiritual, from a friend …  However, there is so much that outside support can help, and you must help yourself.
  • Pick yourself up.  Get dressed everyday, take care of your physical appearance, force yourself to look your best even if you don’t feel like doing so.  It is easier to wear your pajamas all day than taking the time and effort to look yourself in the mirror and work on your image.  This is only one of the pieces in the mirror that you might have to pick up.
  • Talk to your spiritual source – the fountain of your inspiration and divinity, whatever you may call it.
  • When you wake up in the morning, just say Hello.  It means that you are still here and ready to try once more.  If you happen to believe in a Divinity, then you are also greeting the divine source, and if you don’t, you are greeting the world in which you are waking up.  One more day, one more opportunity or thousands of them.
  • Love the people and pets that you hold dear to you.  Appreciate them and watch them be, and be grateful that they are in your life.
  • Pick up your environment, your home, and make it pretty again.  Right now, where you are is your home.  Clean, yes clean, as you clean on the outside, you are cleaning in the inside.
  • Talk to people and share, whether in person, phone, or online.  A bit of isolation helps you find yourself, but eventually you must emerge.
  • Do things one at a time.  Do things with loving care, taking time and minding them.  Don’t try to multitask.
  • Every night when the lights are out, in silence, give thanks for whatever you are thankful that day.  This is not so much to thank the divine or the universe but to acknowledge the good in your life, and make room for more blessings in your heart.  You will have more blessings, but for that, you have to make room in your heart.
  • As for your purpose, to each its own, and all it is, is a plan to make you happy – the ultimate goal.  Now go on, blessed be your life and the ones under your wings.

 

The Elusiveness of Success

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A carpenters' ruler with centimetre divisions

A carpenters’ ruler with centimetre divisions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At one point or another, we think about success, about how “successful” we are in our lives or endeavors.  The problem with measuring success is that we usually measure it against an ideal set up by society or against the success of others in our circle or people whom we admire and consider successful.  It is no surprise that most people would consider themselves unsuccessful and may feel a bit discouraged or sad about their stagnant lives or careers.  Little do we know that we are looking in the wrong direction and we are using the wrong measuring stick.

The question is, if we want to be successful (success is defined here as feeling realized and whole) why are we looking outwards when we should be looking inwards?  Why use the success of others as a measuring stick when we are our own “self” with unique dreams and goals, feelings about those dreams and goals, and a sense of where we want to be, whether clear or not at the moment.

Maybe it is that we are taught (since early age) to look at role models not so much in admiration but as imitation.  When we are asked the question, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” we are being asked, “who do you want to be like?”  If we happen to give the wrong answer, our parents or caretakers will offer a better suggestion – “why not becoming a – fill the blank – instead?”  And the quest for success starts.

I think that society needs role models, but not at the expense of creativity and individuality.  Role models fuel dreams, mentors inspire.  All that is good; however, it is sad that today we look to Hollywood to find role models, when we might have one in our backyards (and that is not to say that there aren’t any role models in Hollywood, because there are).  Without sounding preachy, let’s go back to the topic of success and why it may seem so elusive.

“Why don’t I feel successful?”  This is a good question to ask ourselves.  It focuses on the individual and his/her feelings, which is an inward point of view.  The minute we focus our answer outwards, there lies the problem (the culprit).  A possible answer could be – “Because I have not found an agent or a publisher yet” or “Because I don’t have much money” or “Because my art is not selling well enough” or “Because I am no Stephenie Meyer or Bill Gates” and it could go on and on …  These are examples of answers that point outwards and offer the wrong measuring stick.  The feelings of inadequacy that you might be experiencing may not be yours at all but rooted into the illusion of becoming like someone else, and that in itself is denying your own individuality (in a sense).  And this is why success is so elusive for most of us – because looking inwards is not that easy, and it is not what we were taught as we grew up.

So today, look inwards, take account of all your efforts, and see how far you have come, and celebrate that.  It is the first step to feeling successful and capturing the elusive butterfly.  Greatness comes from within and it becomes when it is directed to the service of others.

It is All About Perspective

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While cutting some veggies for last night dinner, I had one of my epiphanies.  I always cut the ends of the carrots, tomatoes, celery, or any other fruit or veggie that crosses my path.  Even when they are cut in halves, if pre-packaged, I go back and cut a slice from the ends just to have a fresh end (not sure if you follow me).  Well, by the time I am done, I have a decent amount of veggie scraps that go into the garbage because I cannot compost where I live now (but that will be possible in the near future – can’t wait).  It occurred to me that my waste was a perfect meal for people in some countries that will give anything to have a tiny slice of that scrap to make a soup – I mean countries where there is extreme hunger and poverty, and food is not an everyday sight.  Not that I am not aware of hunger, for some reason this time, it was different.

Besides feeling terrible and wasteful, I thought of how much perspective matters in how we go through life and do our own thing, and then, I thought of how it affects our writing.  When we write a story, even when we are writing from the character’s point of view, our own perspective of things and life is playing in the background.  I don’t think that it is possible to escape it totally, even when we try to be true to the character and do a lot of research about the topic or character’s behavior, origins, culture … and so on.

My point is, our perspective follows us everywhere, it is how we see things, life, and how we interpret it, besides being influenced by our own upbringing, culture, and experiences.  I have made vegetable soup countless of times, and yet, this time, those scraps meant something different, and have become meaningful somehow.