The Inevitability of Change – Accepting Change

Some people don’t like change, others associate change with negative things, mostly because they are very comfortable with the current situation or stage in life, and they view change as a disruption.  “If it is not broken, don’t fix it” they may say.  When change is abrupt,and fast it leaves little or no time for this.  Change may be good or bad, however, it is always change.  The only thing that you can control about it is your reaction – accepting change.

Change is inevitable, and it offers an opportunity for movement and growth – whether it is disrupting or good change, either way you must claim your place in life – either embrace it and grow or fight it until you have no more strength – change is inevitable; it is part of our nature.  We go through change since our conception in the womb and it continues until we die – and God knows what else is beyond that, more change?

Change can be sudden, or it can be gradual, the later easier to swallow and embrace, the first, full of punch and invigorating, both regenerative, leaving a sense of renewal in the end.  The greatest thing about change is that no matter how it comes and how it may feel at the moment, it is evolving, and never stalls – that in itself is good.  If change for you represents your darkest hour, find comfort in that – everything shall pass, and it leaves experience, and growth if you choose to accept/embrace it.

Change is inevitable; it is our nature.

Heavy Heart? How Much can it Hold?

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909.

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February is around the corner, and I can’t help but think about Valentine’s Day; must of us do, at least if the holiday is part of your culture. The sweets are everywhere, the cupids are in full view, and the roses are in full bloom in the store shelves. The other day, my husband came home  with the cutest Valentine mug full of Dove chocolates – he knows I love coffee and he told me “you don’t have one of these.” I have enjoyed the little chocolate treats from time to time, and I love to read the sweet message inside the wrapper. I read one that stuck with me – “Discover how much your heart can hold” – it read. That tiny Dove chocolate heart was an epiphany.

Huh, I thought; I have never asked myself that question before.  I wonder, how much can my heart hold?  The answer is as inspiring as it is scary.  Why?  Because it touches on the essence of being human; on how much can we love, and how much we can  hate, and all the other emotions and feelings in between – from Awe, Bliss, and Beauty, to Fear, Doubt, and Heartbreak.  In physiology, the heart can take a beating, and eventually, one day, it will give up.  In terms of emotions and feelings, the heart is so much more amazing, stronger, and stretchable.  (I know, it is all about the brain and its electrical connections, but bare with me for the purpose of this post).

While pondering about the message in the Dove chocolate wrapper, I realized that the only way to know the answer to that is to live life, to live one heartbeat at a time.  Only thru living, the heart will continue to expand, to hold all the humanity and spirituality that life presents its keeper.  So, how much can the heart hold?  It is different for every person, as it is life and the things we let ourselves experience.  We can live minute by minute, or we can live heartbeat by heartbeat – it is up to us.  We can live life going thru the motions, at the beat of the clock, or we can find a true heartbeat in everything we do.  We can expand the capacity of our heart to hold as much as we want, as we allow, and many times, as much as we need.  As far as I’m concerned, every heartbeat counts, you don’t have to climb Mount Everest to get your rush, but if you want to do it, that is wonderful, as it is the way you want to live as you stretch your heart.

How much can your heart hold?  It is up to you to discover it.

The Why to What?

As I savor the last piece of my magical box of Turkish Delight, I happen to be thinking about a post I read earlier.  The post was about “what you really really really want,” and you can read about it in Ollin Morales blog – Courage 2 Create.  Well, right now what I really want is another box of Turkish Delight, but pondering about this issue prompted me to write this post.  I like to read books about positive thinking/attitude, setting goals … and so on.  Most of these books talk about how important and crucial it is to know your why, because without knowing your why, it will be very difficult to achieve your goals.  The Why is the real reason or motivator for you to do something or achieve what you want.  Thinking about Ollin’s post, I realized that the Why doesn’t matter so much if you don’t know or have a clear definition of “what you really really want.”  In other words, you have to know the What to be able to ponder and establish your true Why.

Unless you know your true What, your Why is useless.  To add to the dilemma, many times, you might think that what you want is a certain something, to later find out that you really didn’t want that at all, or maybe had to tweak your want a bit to realize that your Why was totally out of zinc with your What.  I don’t blame you if your head hurts by now, but life is complicated sometimes, or at least, our perception of it.  I have found that many times, my What (s) were totally wrong, and my Why (s) did not take me there; however, I found that it was all a process for me, and one that I had to undergo to be able to find my true What and Why.  Sometimes, the journey is a What in itself, and later, it becomes the Why, at least temporarily until you realize your true What and Why.

Don’t forget to check out Ollin’s post; you can find it by clicking here – http://ollinmorales.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/and-you-cant-pull-me-down/

 

 

The Theory of Possibility

Deutsch: Ein Glas Milch English: A glass of mi...

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Revisited

The Theory of Possibility

 

I have adopted the philosophy that no one is 100% right – there are many possibilities and sides to a story or to a belief.  This has made me a better person.  I don’t have to judge and I don’t have to shove my beliefs up the throats of others; instead I agree to disagree and to value other points of view.  I am happier now.  I don’t have to turn blue to prove a point; instead, I just express it and let it go to do what it needs to do.

One day, I went to reach for a glass of milk but decided to drink peach juice instead.  It was a change that took a split of a second but got me thinking.  I was sure I wanted milk but instead ended up grabbing the peach juice.  What followed was enlightening, at least to me.  I understood that this world is made entirely of possibilities.  I understood that everything, absolutely everything is possible.  It takes a matter of less than a second for a possibility to become reality.  This changed my view of things.

I will go back to the milk and juice to illustrate the point.  In my mind, I wanted milk and went straight ahead to the refrigerator to get it.  From my point of view it was already something I would do, saw myself doing, but never materialized – it was a possibility.  Instead, another possibility presented itself – the peach juice – a possibility that was not in my mind a few seconds ago, when heading towards the refrigerator to get some milk.  This sudden change puzzled me to the point that I am writing this article.

Going back to the example, the second possibility became my reality, not the first and intended one.  I changed my mind in the split of a second, whether conscious of it or not, but it ended up shaping my reality.  This in my opinion was a powerful message.

Possibilities abound, they are just multidimensional, and so are we when we think of it in that sense.  Multiple realities – can that be possible?  You be the judge – I don’t judge anymore.

Vulcan Logic vs. The Secret

Vulcan (Star Trek)
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This week I am revisiting some articles I wrote sometime ago.

Revisited – Vulcan Logic vs. The Secret

While watching a Star Trek movie the other day I heard Spock say one of his Vulcan logical statements:  “If you remove the impossible, what remains – even improbable, must then be the truth.”  When you look at the statement it truly makes sense.  This Vulcan philosophy presents a good logical explanation which can be applied to mostly any situation.  In our minds there is always a definition for what we consider impossible to be or to accomplish, and for every person this is different, given their current status, beliefs, cultural background, and financial/social position.  Therefore, everyone defines the impossible in their own way.  This presents a curious question:  what is truth for each one of us?  If we define the impossible in a unique perspective to our present situation, then by the same thinking process we must define truth in the same way.  According to Vulcan philosophy, “what remains must then be the truth” – when we eliminate the impossible – even if it is improbable.  This match of the Vulcan philosophy with our human way of defining the truth according to our own unique experience presents another interesting predicament:  logic vs. faith.

As humans we tend to have faith, to believe in the impossible or the improbable.  We put our faith in God, The Divine, and even in ourselves.  Atheists will put their faith in themselves or in some cases, science – for the sake of argument.  Most of us are familiar with The Ancient Law of Attraction, made known most recently by Rhonda Byrne and her bestseller “The Secret.”  According to this law, you can attract anything that you desire – positive or negative – to your life.  What you think, believe, speak and focus on, that is what you will attract.  It will materialize into your life because you are sending those vibrations back into the Universe; therefore, the Universe will respond back to you according to the energy sent.  So if you are a negative and fearful person you will encounter negative and unpleasant situations in your life.  The opposite is true if you are a positive person.  In simple words, it means, “what goes around comes around” – you get the idea.  According to the law of attraction EVERYTHING is possible.  This is an opposite view to the Vulcan philosophy and our human nature.  The Vulcan belief recognizes the impossible (we do to), the Secret philosophy or Law of attraction recognizes that anything and everything is possible.

We can do a reconciliation of this huge gap in beliefs by using the element of Faith to build a bridge.  Faith can be defined as the belief and certainty of what has not yet become.  By believing the impossible or the improbable to become true we are refuting Vulcan philosophy and human nature and accepting the law of attraction.  However if our faith is based on a negative perspective, then the impossible becomes reality.

Therefore, Logic, Human Nature, Faith, or Law of Attraction it is all up to you – what we may call Free Will – but that is another article.

To Creed or Not to Creed

What is a creed?  The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as:  “a statement of beliefs or principles.”  The origin is from the Latin credo – “I believe.”   In this fast-changing, high stress, quick-consuming world, the need to reaffirm our beliefs, our truth, is necessary to achieve the goals that we have proposed to ourselves.  Goal setting, planning, ambitions … all that is good, but in order to achieve our target, we must know what we want, why, and marry that to our belief system.  Anytime that there’s a “glitch” between the “wants” and “our truths,” the balance is off, and somehow, we don’t feel quite centered.  The harmony has been altered, and our focus, shifted.  The result is a deviation of our initial intent.  The goals that were set in excitement soon become out of target, far, or simply unattainable.  We lose our steam, our “mojo,” and the path that we were heading towards, soon disappears.  A feeling of discontent and emptiness hovers like a cloud over us, and sometimes, we ask to ourselves:  Why do I feel this way? – What’s wrong with me?  Not knowing the answer, we just accept the feeling of emptiness and we carry it around with us, until it blends in our soul.  I know, I was there once.

To answer the previous questions:  Nothing is wrong with you.  Simply said, “You are out of balance.”  Your “wants” and “your truth,” are not in perfect alignment with your self.  This is why writing your own creed is important.  It serves as a reminder, a beacon, to where you are headed.  This is the destination that you mapped:  your dreams, goals, desires – all those things that make life worth living, and that are personal and different for everyone.  Put your creed in writing; carry it around in your pocket or your wallet.  Read it every day as a reminder of your goals.

Before writing your creed, think of what you believe, who you are in the core, and what you want.  Visualize yourself with your trophy, in balance.  Then, write it down as if it already happened.  It should be no longer than a paragraph, short but very clear to you – so you can easily read it every day.  That is your creed.

What you believe, you become.  “And the word became flesh…”  (John 1:14)

Write it Down – Now!

Hesiod and the Muse

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During the weekend, my husband and I were driving towards an antique market.  The radio was playing Country music and the drive was smooth.  We would comment about a few things we saw on the road, from time to time.  Suddenly, I felt the urge to write.  You know, that nagging command in your mind that screams loud – WRITE!  I always carry a small notebook with me, just in case inspiration strikes.  I have found that when this happens, if I don’t write it down at the moment, it is gone forever.  I am not able to recreate it later.  I listened to my muse and this is what I wrote – a poem.

Ageless Soul

To have a young soul in an old body,

Oh, what is this punishment,

but to be trapped in this decaying shell,

withering to the whims of the body

and wishing the youth of once fresh life.

Is it the punishment of creation or the wisdom of the ages?

Either or it is but and arrow that pierces the flesh and numbs the heart.

 

Now, don’t ask me why, I just wrote what was given to me at the moment.  After I wrote it down fast, I put the notebook back in my handbag and continued the pleasant drive to the market.  The muse did not show up again that day.  Sometimes I wonder …

Following Your Bliss

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What is bliss?  It is defined as:  supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment.  I define it as finding your balance, your equilibrium.  Each individual’s bliss is different.  And everyone operates at a different level.  Sometimes, we burn ourselves running after what we think will make us happier:  more money, another step on the corporate ladder, a bigger paycheck, or many other ideals.  In our search and journey we realize that something is missing, even when the prize has been obtained.  In the intense focus and chase of our goal, we fell out of balance – we lost our bliss.

Somehow, our prize is not as shiny as we thought it was.  And soon, we set our eyes on another goal, and the race starts all over again.  Setting goals, and planning is great, but we also have to find the balance while achieving them, otherwise we lose appreciation and become empty vessels looking for fulfillment.  So, how do we follow our bliss without ending up tired and disappointed?

Because everyone is unique, there is no recipe or mold.  The answer is within us, and all we have to do is look inside and figure out what makes us, not only happy, but whole.  When we realize what it is, slow and steady steps will take us there, while enjoying the process on the way.  Each day will bring its own rewards, but its challenges, too.

We live on an instant fast-paced society.  Everything was due yesterday.  We are conditioned to react and think fast.  If we want to follow our bliss, we will have to slow down the speed of life, or at least our perception of it (our attention).  When we live mindfully we are slowing down the speed and opening our minds and hearts to what makes us whole and happy.  Some of us, will make radical changes, others, small adjustments.  For some, the climb is steep, for others a small turn in the road.  But the rewards are living a happy and balanced life in harmony with one’s self and the world around us.  What could be better than that?

 

Dreaming Your Reality

Many times, we entertain fantasies of dreams and goals for the future, and we take them as far as we can in our minds.  The sad part is that as soon as we come back to reality, this is where it stops, and we delegate them to the file drawers of our mind, until we decide to fantasize again.  Why do we do this?  Is it because we think that there is no way we can reach our dreams and goals?  Or is it that the daily grinding puts a lid on our dreams?  Is life making it impossible for us to reach our dreams?  Living should be part of attaining those dreams; instead, we act as if by living the daily routine, we are removing ourselves from those same dreams and goals.  We end up adopting an “impossible” way of thinking, and instead, we replace our dreams with fantasizing about them.

The first step to achieve our dreams is to remove the word impossible from our vocabulary, and our minds, and from our belief system.  Let us adopt a different thinking.  What was one impossible becomes probable, then, it becomes possible, until it becomes a reality.  Many inventions have followed this path.  If we adopt this way of thinking, we will reach our dreams, turning them into probabilities, possibilities, and finally into reality.  This doesn’t mean that it will be an easy journey – it is different for every person and each person needs to learn the lessons in the process.  For some, it is faster than for others; it may even take an entire lifetime, for some.

When we give room to self-doubt and self-limiting assumptions, we are saying the word impossible, over and over, and we start to believe it.  Therefore, the next step is to remove the self-doubt and self-limiting assumptions that we entertain daily.

You can dream, but you have to be proactive at your dreaming.  To put it simple, you can dream that one day you will win the lottery, but if you never play a ticket, you are self-limiting yourself.  You are not acting on your dream.  What would someone think if you told them a hundred years ago that one day you would send them mail that will take seconds – you would probably use another way of expressing yourself, maybe by saying that you will one day send a letter that will take an instant to arrive.  They would have told you that time traveling is impossible or that you are going nuts; maybe even commit you.  An email makes this impossible possible.

This is just an example to illustrate that your dreams are not impossible; it is up to you to dream them into reality.  When you start working towards your dreams, step by step, little by little, as you make progress, they will start to look more real, more possible.  And don’t forget to send the naysayers an email when you get there.

Finding Your Own Paradigm

Truth!

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The American Heritage Dictionary defines paradigm as:  an example or a model.

We follow paradigms all our lives (voluntary or involuntary), since the time we are born, till the time of our departure.  Standards are set, ideals, models of behavior, social patterns that we follow throughout our lives, sometimes, without questioning their validity.  We accept these models as truth, but sometimes these models fail us.  When this happens, it is time to reevaluate the standards and ideals on which we have put our faith.

Finding your own paradigm, creating your own system, is necessary if you want to accomplish what you have set out to achieve in your life.  Following predetermined systems, other people’s ideas of “what works” – blindly – guarantees many broken dreams, and tons of wasted precious time.

There are set models and standards that have been established to help the better functioning of society.  Our job as responsible individuals is to weigh those systems and take what is useful, apply it to our lives, and improve on it.  By learning to get in touch with our dreams, goals, inner desires, skills, and core beliefs, we give form to our own system – what works for us.

While creating your own system, you can expect to make waves, to raise eyebrows, and to get the unsolicited truth from “the know it all.”  You will have to endure the comments coming from your loved ones (the ones that hurt the most), as they cannot see pass beyond their reality and the label that they have assigned you through the years.  Their opinion is sometimes clouded by the expectations by which they live, and these by the paradigms that they have themselves accepted as true.  Many times, influenced by titles, society labels, and the general belief of the masses, that follow as blind cattle.  So what if you are the only one proud of what you do for a living?  What if it is taking longer for you to hit the “I made it” label?  The growth is slowly, many times, and each person is different.  This is the price to pay for following your truth.  “As you believe so shall become,” we have heard this adage before, simple but true.  The law of attraction says that what we think, believe, and visualize, becomes our reality.   The Bible, and many other uplifting philosophies reinforce the same premise.  Many turned into paradigms, many twisted by society, history, political powers … and so on.

My question to you is whose reality?