existence

What Makes You Dance?

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I have a sign that reads, “Sunshine makes the flowers dance.”  The sign is full of primary colors and has a busy bee attached to it. I have it located way above my visual line, on top of the frame of the door, in the room where I work.  It is at that height for a reason.   When my eyes get tired, I tend to look up and then to my right; the first thing I see is that sign, instinctively I read it.  It is a way to remind me to dance thru life, to enjoy the things that make me dance, and to push those buttons as often as I can.

When I push those buttons, I end up feeling refreshed, inspired, and renewed.  It makes me feel like dancing. 

Have you ever thought of the things that make you dance?

Equalizing Your Relationship

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Equalizing – To make equal (as defined by the American Heritage Dictionary). 

I was pondering the success or failure of many relationships, even the ones that seem like a match made in heaven, but fail.  I wondered why.  There are many reasons for that, I assume – financial, infidelity … the list is long.  However, there must be a constant that can encompass all those reasons.  The word equalizing seems to cover that ground.

I have never been a fan of the 50/50 rule for couples.  I don’t think it is real, and I don’t think it works.  In a relationship, there is never a 50/50 give or take.  Simply put, we are not machines, we do not function as exact mathematical equations, it is just not natural.  This is why I think that the word equalizing makes more sense.

In trying to make something equal, one most try to balance, stabilize, counterbalance, and steady what is not.  Therefore, it is a matter of both individuals working together to try to balance or equalize an issue.

In the 50/50 deal, a couple will try to give half effort, in hopes that the other will put in the other half – this never works out that exact way, someone always puts in a bit more or less – 40/60%, 30/70%, 80/20% …  This is turn, can result in resentment on one of the parts, disagreements, turmoil …

Equalizing relationships without looking for a 50/50 solution will help both parties contribute the part that is missing, and hopefully, the percentages of contribution will fluctuate between both individuals and balance (equalize) the relationship.   But that is just my humble opinion.

The Measure of Success

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Success sounds like a distant word for many, unattainable to others, as far as the stars, to most.  This is far from the truth.  Success is just a state of mind and appreciation.  It is what you think is happening in your life after you put effort and work into something. 

Maybe, when we think of success we think in terms of comparing ourselves to very successful people – millionaires, hollywood stars, best-selling authors, novel prize winners … and so on.  However, the true measure of success is very personal.  When we measure our success in terms of another person’s success, we are denying ourselves.  We are saying to ourselves that we don’t matter as much, that we must be like someone else to be happy, that our dreams can only be measured by the dreams of others – who have attained theirs.  We should see the success in others as fuel to propel our own, as mentors, as inspiration, not as a ruler or measure stick.

I have learned to celebrate my small successes and big ones all the same.  I have learned to appreciate every effort and its results, because learning to appreciate small and big success in our lives helps us attune ourselves to receive the fruits of our labor, the blessings, and all the great things to come.  When we learn to see and celebrate the good happenings in our lives, only growth can follow, and we are aligning ourselves for bigger and better things.

Slow Down to Synchronize

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Rose und Eis

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Maybe we have read about the importance of synchronicity in our lives, at some point.  There is much written on it, and many philosophies base some of their principles on it – the law of attraction …  However, sometimes we forget to realize that to be able to appreciate synchronicity in our lives, we must slow down the speed of our lives.  Simply put, when we are running through the path at high speeds, we fail to see the beautiful red rose hiding in the bushes, or the gorgeous butterfly atop the daisy.  We will miss the sweet aroma of the lavender field nearby … we can end up missing the best opportunities of our lives. 

I have been guilty of living at high speeds in the past, and I missed synchronicity at its best.  I had to crash, stop, look around, breathe, stand up, and start walking slow again; and I have to admit that I am happier now, and have been able to appreciate the blessings of learning to recognize synchronicity in my life.

I dare you to slow down and find those miracles working right now in your life.

For Better or for Worst … Love Needs to Be Shared

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For better or for worst, in sickness or in health, in good times and bad times … We are familiar with this sentence, at least if you are married or attended a wedding, saw one on TV, and do not live under a rock.  Love needs to be shared under all those conditions.  The divorce statistics may point to the contrary.

I don’t consider myself an eavesdropper, but I am amused by the conversations I get to listen to when I am waiting online, at a Dr.’s office, post office … Many times, you hear “the bashing of the love one,” – good title for a song.  Men or women, they all do it, they express their dissatisfaction with the love in their lives.  True or not, it is a matter of perspective for many – discounting abuse cases, of course.

The point is, we are sometimes quick to judge our loved ones.  Quick to request perfection, when what we are looking for is a companion who will take us seriously in good times and in bad times.  The following questions offer much insight.

  • Does he/she listens when you talk (when you truly talk)?
  • Does he/she cares, even when it doesn’t show?
  • Does he/she want to be with you forever?
  • Do you see the good in him/her?  Is is more than the flaws?
  • Did you once felt that the two of you could tackle everything, the world?
  • Do you feel tired?
  • Do you need to step back and look at the whole picture?
  • Do you believe?
  • Do you need to ask/answer these questions?

Sometimes, the answers can be found in the questions.

I Asked, I Believe, Now What?

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The Law of attraction is based in three simple principles or steps – Asking, Believing, and Receiving.  The asking process might seem the easiest one, however, many times we ask the wrong way.  We ask from a place of lack, instead of visualizing clearly what we want.  To ask we just have to visualize our lives the way we want, or the object in our lives.  Believing is in my opinion, the hardest step, as we feel, talk, and act with the joy and conviction that what we asked for is already here, just waiting for us to receive it.  Now what?

Opening our arms to receive is the next step.  But as easy as it sounds, the key here is to get ready to receive, to truly prepare the path, and act as if what you asked for is already in you life.  It may be confusing, but for us writers, it may involve writing that second novel because the first one is on its way to be published – however, you have not heard from any agents yet.  That is not important here, what is important is to continue your work with open arms – the only way to receive.  And it doesn’t hurt to have fun in the process.

The Candle of Love

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It is a new year and many of us have many resolutions and goals.  We celebrated the end of 2010 and the spark of receiving a new year brought hope of better things to come and new beginnings.  Once the New Year rolled in, we woke up to find out that the same routine was there.  The question is, “Did it bother you?”  “Did you feel uninspired, disappointed?”

Sometimes we take away the joy ourselves; we let the candle of Love diminish, dim, and we don’t breathe on it to keep it going.  This can be applied to any areas of our lives – work, friendships, marriage …  It is easy to fall into a routine and stop appreciating what we do, what we have … Many times there is nothing wrong with it, but we have stopped blowing the candle to sparkle its fire.

This year I set many goals, but one for sure is to continue blowing on my candle to make it sparkle just enough to appreciate my life under its light.

Blessing Your Surroundings with Your Soul’s Creation

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The title of this post may sound a bit dramatic; however, it is the opposite – it is more about simplicity in your daily routine.  On an earlier post, I talked about creation for and with love.  Blessing your surroundings with your soul’s creations is related to that love.  Doing things lovingly for you, your family, and everyone who will share your surroundings is part of that love.  However, there are many ways in which you can enrich your surroundings, and one of them is by being creative in what you do.

We live hurried lives, and many times we function on the auto mode.  By minding the moment and giving it your own touch (creativity) you will enhance the mood, the moment, the task …  When you do this you operate from simplicity, and you bless your surroundings thru your creative spirit.  A simple task of washing dishes (or loading the dishwasher) can become significant, as opposed to being a menial task.  Creativity comes in many forms, visual and non-visual, as a colorful arrangement of fresh-cut flowers at the dinning table or as a gentle breeze flowing thru an open window.

As you continue to bless your surroundings with your creativity, inspiration will continue to flow.

The Reason to Create

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Why do you create?  For whom do you create?  Approaching our craft with this question in mind can help focus our work.  It also helps set the mood for the day, even when you are not in your best mood.  It helps discern the goal – for what you work for or towards. 

When you approach your craft with Love, you are in for a great day at what you do best.  When you approach your craft with love for your Creator, then it makes all the difference.  You are gifting something to others and to your “God” or however you happen to call him/her/it.  Assuming this attitude will not only get you thru your daily task, it will improve it, make it better, because you are offering it to your Creator.

Next time you are about to paint, write, or do what you do best, answer this question.  The answer will set up the mood of the day.  If your answer is – for the agent or publisher, for the pesky boss … then maybe you should go back and reexamine your reasons.

If you don’t believe in a spiritual level, then the answer should be for you – for your contentment and happiness.

We all have to work to pay the bills, care for the family, and many other commitments; however, it is how we approach our craft that makes the difference.

Censor Yourself

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I made one of my goals not to entertain negative talking of any kind.  Negative talking just sucks your energy out – energy that you need to be creative and get better at what you do best.  With so many people around you exuding negativity or not into positive talk, how do you do that?  It is simple, by making the effort.  You may catch yourself giving in into negative thinking or negative talk – and when you do, change the tune, change the channel, reverse the process.

If other people start talking negative around you, excuse yourself if possible, if not, change the conversation.  If changing the conversation does not work, then kindly and in a friendly tone say that you have made your personal goal not to talk about anything that is not positive.  This will put the ball on your court, as your personal project, and the other person will not be offended.  In addition, you are not mentioning the word negative, you are just saying “anything that is not positive,” so the person doesn’t feel attacked.

It may be difficult in the beginning, but I have found that when I am around any type of negative talk, I feel drained and sad, so I decided to cut that issue.  This does not mean that you cannot lend a friendly ear to a friend that is going through a hard situation.  This is different; it means the kind of talk that does not edify, puts you down or anybody else, and has no true meaning.

I have found that when I am around negative people my creativity suffers.  You can find negative people anywhere – post office, supermarket, work … sometimes even making small talk while waiting on line at the store.  I remember this line from an episode of the old series Kung Fu – “When words are not better than silence, it is best not to pronounce them.”  I was a kid when I watched the series, but for some reason, that phrase stood with me until adulthood.  It is good advice.