existence

Picking Up the Pebbles, Carrying the Rocks, and Embracing Boulders

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Present Universe/Earth – The location

Human – The vessel

The Material – The physical state, the condition in the vessel

Change – Fuel, motivator

Target – The journey, the material experience in the vessel at the location

Goal – Growth through the experience, enjoyment, discovery, being, creation, union … to each its own journey, One as Many

Time/Space – Now (always Now, other measure of time is irrelevant)

Report – Ongoing

 

Although life might seem a weird experiment at times, it is a journey, a destination in itself, and a different experience for every person. It presents its challenges as a way to keep the journey going in the now. Without challenge, conflict, unfortunate events, fortunate events … without change, there cannot be movement, journey, growth. It is necessary as fuel to keep us going. Imagine a life of perfect harmony, everything goes one way – perfect, and nothing happens that will let you have/create a frame of reference that serves as a compass to evaluate your journey. If everything is as perfect as it can be, how would you know the difference? Simply put, without a compass/navigator you might be lost.

Many times, change (fuel) will present itself in various degrees of difficulty, as much fuel as we might need to propel us to the next level. I truly believe that. Sometimes, the size of a pebble, other times as a rock, or even a giant boulder. Sometimes even as the entire quarry. However, if growth is the goal, the natural way would be to keep walking the path, pick up the pebbles, carry the rocks, and even embrace the boulders, and if we have to go inside the quarry, may we find the message in its walls. And when we do, evolution continues.

Photo by M.A.D.

Photo by M.A.D.

 

 

 

On Faith and Writing

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When I read poetry I notice one thing, the poem is sad/dark, almost as if it bleeds through the page, or on the other hand, it celebrates life, is an exaltation of nature or love, or whatever the subject seems to be, therefore transmitting a peaceful or joyful vibe through the page. It seems as if a tormented soul or a happy one wrote the lines, although that is not necessarily true.

Ernest Hemingway once said,”There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” Maybe he was right, but what comes out of your veins? What do you bleed? I have found that for me, inspiration may come from nowhere, unexpected, and sometimes, it is directly influenced by my mood. I’ve noticed that when my faith dwindles, so does my writing. It is when my faith is up that I do my best writing, whether I may be going through a difficult situation or not. By faith I don’t mean religion, but my disposition to believe and trust. That said, I can predict when my motivation will suffer, and when my writing will lack. How to prevent this?

The answer is not so much to prevent, because life is full of ups and downs – it is human life’s nature. Instead, maintaining a conscious positive and high disposition (with effort and despite the circumstances) is what seems to help. I must keep up a high level of trust and frequency to support the flow of my writing, otherwise, it becomes forced, superficial, and dense. So my writing seems to be tied to my faith.

“I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.” Ernest Hemingway

Blue Season – Systems Crash

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Photo by MAD

Photo by MAD

As human, you may have experienced a blue season. It is when one of your support systems fail or crash. As organized people we have many support systems, some basic – family, friends, marriage, home, finances, health … – other systems are unique to your particular situation or life arrangement. A blue season may be brief or lengthy, come at once or crawl up on you. No matter its nature, it is still a blue season, and a whole bucket of emotions come with it. If you are lucky, you deal with one failing system at a time; however, sometimes, all systems crash at once. This is when your humanity is tested in all areas, and if there’s an echo of divinity in you, better take a good hold on it, because you’ll need it – even if you don’t believe.

What happens when the big test comes? The answer is as unique as we are, and so is the solution or outcome. The tools to use during this time appear in you somehow, and you pick them up or ignore them. During a blue season, whether a single test, or the big one, emotions and feelings run wild, solutions evade or play hide and seek, the mind plays inhumane tricks on your ego, and the physical you collapses, rendering yet another of your systems (health) weak. If you are among the Job (bible character) category, all your systems will fail at once, and Mega Blue Season it is. Better hold on tight for the ride, because this one is a wild one, and most likely, when you are crawling breathless, you will still find strength to yell, “Not fair, not me!” Just in time to collapse once more. But where did the idea of wanting a fair life came from? From our humanity.

Thank God (or whatever you choose to call it) for colors. Colors make a difference. We understand colors, just as we understand music, tunes… We can make the shades of blue whatever we want – perception? No, it is more than that, more like painting a response. We can paint our response the shade we want, until we dilute the blue to a pure white, coming out of it drenched in light, stronger, wiser, glad, and alive. Be grateful for that; I am. It is humanity at its best, or maybe a small grain of the divine seed in us. Whatever it is, it is there inside every one of us to call upon in the hour of need, during the blue season.

Easier said than done? Maybe doing has nothing to do with it. Maybe knowing is just enough. In the end, it will always be up to us. The response is up to us. Whether one or all systems crash during the blue season, how we respond during its length will determine the outcome. And that is all there is to know, as long as we choose to know.

2014 Writing Goals

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I have set two major writing goals for this year, editing and publishing The Book of Sharon before the end of the first quarter, and writing Sunrise Souls before the end of the year. If I get to the editing of the last one, I will be very happy, but for now, writing it is all I am expecting. In addition, I am hoping to develop my author website a bit more; it has been under construction. As far as this blog goes, I am hoping to post at least three times a week. Those are my only writing goals for this year – few and clear. My main focus will go towards regaining my health. Other projects will be on hold for now.

Today, my nephew sent me an email that had an Allan Watts short video about one of his lectures on meditation. One thing caught my attention immediately – his definition of meditation. He views meditation as a way to bring you back to reality (to the real world, to the life that we live in a daily basis, to the now, to be present …). When I thought about it, I realized that my concept of meditation was at conflict with this definition. I viewed it as a way to relax and step out of reality – a way to alleviate stress or any present inconvenience. This view is opposite to the purpose of meditation. I found this interesting, and I think that many people think of meditation as a way to escape reality instead of getting back to it. I thought this was brilliant.

As writers we tend to retreat; we spend long hours alone dipped into our own worlds and thoughts, and many times far away from reality. Meditation may be a good tool for writers, that is, as a way to bring us back to life into the now.

The Perpetual Planner

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Although this year I’m living it at 000, each day anew, I understand the importance of healthy planning. We are starting a new year, so I want this post to be about planning in 2014. Are you a perpetual planner? Do you love goal-lists, to-do lists, and planning? I know I do; however, I have to keep myself in check (pun intended) otherwise, I may become a perpetual planner, a living-breathing human calendar, and we all know that is not good. Why? Because you run a thin line between perpetual planning and procrastination by it. Too many To-do lists and planning may keep you from doing. Whether we use planning as a good tool to advance us or as a safe heaven to keep us from jumping into the next step is up to us. Here are a few tips.

  • Research the goals you have in mind. You need to have as much information to clarify your goals. Warning – don’t run into perpetual research mode.
  • Clarify your goals (know what you want and why).
  • Think of a time-frame to achieve the goal (when).
  • Think of a way to do it (or ways). This is the How.
  • Once that is clear in your mind, it is time to put it in paper, bits at a time, following your calendar schedule for the year. Time to be specific.
  • Avoid the double plan. This is not about plan 2; it is about over-planning or making lists on top of lists that end up confusing or derailing you (believe me, I know). Stick to a clear black and white plan stated in simple terms. Gray areas might open doors to exploration, which may lead to over-planning or derailment. This is why you make a clear plan and stick with it. Don’t get me wrong, exploration and spontaneity are good, as long as they don’t open the door that will take you away from your main focus.
  • Always have a plan 2. If plan 1 (yes, I’m tired of the phrase plan A or plan B) doesn’t seem to be working modify it without changing your main goals, that is unless you find out that it is not a goal for you anymore, and in that case, this is why research helps in the beginning. But we are human, and we change, so if by the first quarter of 2014, you find that you are not sure you want to do what you set out to do, don’t drop it yet; do a little more research, and then, decide (exploration and spontaneity may help here). Sometimes, a bit more clarification is what you need to put you on track.
  • Acknowledge your efforts, and celebrate each milestone during the year. This is very important. I used to ignore this step, and because of it, my sense of progress was clouded, opening a door for frustration. When you go back and see how far you’ve come (quarterly is a good way to do it), then, it is as a fresh breath of air that propels you to the next stage (even when you might be your own cheerleader). This is necessary but human nature will tell you to skip it and propel ahead – don’t.
  • Evaluate your steps every quarter (or whatever works for you) and readjust your plan as needed, but not by over-planning.
  • Whether you achieve your goal or are almost there, realize that you are closer to it thanks to your healthy planning, and congratulate yourself. If you hit your goal, celebrate! Understand that you are human, and you might have it all down on paper, but life gets in the way sometimes, and after all, living life is what you do best, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
  • Be grateful every step of the way.

Best Wishes for this year, and may you carry out your 2014 dreams.

 

000

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This is how I’m starting the new year, at 000. It is a gift just to be here, and I want to start anew, fresh, without any preconceptions. I want to live 2014 as if it was my last year here. 2013 left its mark, and I am grateful for it all. I receive this year at 000. It is a new opportunity, a new beginning, a new purpose, a new living, a new second, millisecond … . I want to make the most of it, not in traveling or great accomplishments, bucket lists, or to-do lists, but in being present every second of my life, in seeing the awe in the minuscule, the humble in the majestic, the new in the old, and the old in the new, the love in everything, and the one in all. I don’t want to take anything for granted. I want to wake up everyday at 000, the second I open my eyes. I invite you to do the same. Happy New Year! 

000 

When Your Inner Critic Befriends the Naysayers

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Boom! This is an explosive combination. Inner Critic + Naysayer(s) = Dangerous Liaison. If you are human, you have an inner critic living inside you. It is a ruthless, sneaky, negative, tricky, hopeless saboteur who celebrates doubt, chaos, fear, weakness, and illogical self-punishment. It creeps when you least expect it and creates the perfect environment for growing failure.  It sucks that you have to live with this innate character 24/7 but it does not have to be like that; you, the real you – the positive, enlightened, spiritual, self-assured, divine, and blessed soul who happens to live next to it, have the total control and will to overpower the inner critic. Because the inner critic knows this, it has to find outside help to validate itself, to become stronger, and to overpower the real you. It is when it welcomes any naysayer available for grabs. The inner critic delights in such presence and input; it is the perfect companion to build together an environment fertile for growing the fruits of failure – the enemies of the spirit. Because of this, you have to be vigilant and smart about the kind of company you keep, as well as the kind of conversations you encourage. Too much of it will weaken you, and will lower your defenses. It will dwindle your faith and will consume your inspiration. It will slowly envelop you in a fake comfort-blanket of self-pity and lethargy that will keep growing until it destroys you.

It is normal to have doubt, fear, even a bit of self-pity sometimes; after all, we live in blood and flesh bodies in a material world. However, it is when you allow the inner critic to form the above equation that you empower it.

Photo by M.A.D.

Photo by M.A.D.

 

Answering Your Calling – Enjoy the Process

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Animation of the structure of a section of DNA...

Animation of the structure of a section of DNA. The bases lie horizontally between the two spiraling strands. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Life is full of surprises, of twists and turns, of straight roads, of the predictable, of the inevitable, of the good, and of the not-so-good … life is a miracle. It seems short many times, too short; other times, it may seem as an eternity, depending on what chapter are you living or reliving. When we are young, we live day by day, as if life is eternal; with the pass of time, we realize that it is not, and so our search for meaning begins. We experience mid-life crisis, moments of enlightenment, moments of despair, epiphanies, and absolute sense of loss. Time becomes important, precious, our best ally, and our worst measure of self. We come to a halt; suddenly, we need more, meaning and purpose – we want to find our calling. So we set on a journey of discovery, introspection, and awe. A journey that is different for every human being. To each, its own, says the adage. We focus on finding, and we search and question, ponder and wonder … and we become exhausted. We have not found our calling. Maybe, there is nothing to be found. How can we find what is already there?

We don’t have to find our calling, we have to answer it. Each human being is here for a reason, an important and unique (as DNA) purpose. It is engraved in us, and no matter how much time goes by, the calling is still there. Our searching is part of the process of discovering to be able to answer when we are ready – in perfect synchronicity, in harmony. Instead of enjoying this process, we become frustrated, impatient, sad, lonely, angry, desperate, hopeless, doubtful, without faith … we forget about the now, the moment that is part of the whole that becomes the calling. When we become aware of the now, we begin to answer. Wonderful and magical things happen as we become present.

Majestic New Day

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“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”  Psalm 118:24

The other day, I was thinking about how everyday I look at the same scenery and how a generic mental picture of that scenery is kept on my mind, as if it was a postcard that was filed in my brain. I pondered how I took the visual image for granted every day, and even thought that tomorrow that panorama as seen through the generic image filed in my brain would still be there. Well, I didn’t like the thought, so I had to change it. I needed a “not for granted” appreciation of the everyday scenery. Why? Because writing is a solitary endeavor, and sometimes, too much of it starts to feel stale. I took several pictures of the same scenery on different days. This exercise opened my eyes, and reprogrammed my brain. It also gave me a sense of renewal and gratitude. Pictures sometimes tell it better than words (yes, I said that), so here is a Majestic New Day of the same scenery. This pictures have not been enhanced in any way, which proves how blessed we are every day, and how blind we can become to what each day brings anew.

On an early morning, before sunrise. A thick line of clouds in the horizon, perfectly straight looks like a mountain.

On an early morning, before sunrise. A thick line of clouds on the horizon, perfectly straight looks like a mountain.

The sun is rising on another day, at about the same time.

The sun is rising on another day, at about the same time.

On another day, the same view, the sun already out, and this time a palette of gold.

On another day, the same view, the sun already out, and this time a palette of gold.

Do you see what I mean? The same view in the morning, but on different days this week has no resemblance to the generic mental image that I keep of the view.  It tells a story of a majestic and wonderful gift of a brand new day, that the Creator of this universe paints different every day, and for our enjoyment. I could probably go on an on taking pictures, and each day, it would be different. The generic image might still be in my brain, but not with the same level of appreciation.

Promises to Keep

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It is nice to be back after some time away from writing during the Thanksgiving break. December is here, and I am thinking about the end of the year already. It seems that 2013 flew away, and I find myself pondering about all the goals that I set for this year. Many I accomplished, many I did not. On a scale from 1 to 5, number 1 being less challenging, I think that this year presented its challenges in all aspects of my life, and I give it a 4. However, there are 29 more days until the end of the year, and each one represents an amazing opportunity. I have many promises to keep to myself (one way to view important goals).  Although I don’t like to miss a goal, even when things are out of my immediate control, I realize that as long as I am here, I can keep working on the things that are meaningful to me (goals), and upgrade them to the promise level.

Calling these unmet goals Promises to Keep, helps me focus with intention and without blame/frustration in the new year. I invite you to use this approach and see the difference in attitude when you approach the new year.  Of eleven major goals that I set for 2013, I accomplished six so far, and I intend to turn those other five unto 2014 promises.

I am already working on setting new goals for 2014. The process excites me and keeps me going despite any obstacles that may appear unexpectedly. It is how I function best, and  how I keep myself inspired when “life” happens. Today, as I thought about this year and pondered about the next, I felt a sense of relief and grounding knowing that as long as I have promises to keep, all is well.