existence

The Perpetual Planner

/ inkspeare

Although this year I’m living it at 000, each day anew, I understand the importance of healthy planning. We are starting a new year, so I want this post to be about planning in 2014. Are you a perpetual planner? Do you love goal-lists, to-do lists, and planning? I know I do; however, I have to keep myself in check (pun intended) otherwise, I may become a perpetual planner, a living-breathing human calendar, and we all know that is not good. Why? Because you run a thin line between perpetual planning and procrastination by it. Too many To-do lists and planning may keep you from doing. Whether we use planning as a good tool to advance us or as a safe heaven to keep us from jumping into the next step is up to us. Here are a few tips.

  • Research the goals you have in mind. You need to have as much information to clarify your goals. Warning – don’t run into perpetual research mode.
  • Clarify your goals (know what you want and why).
  • Think of a time-frame to achieve the goal (when).
  • Think of a way to do it (or ways). This is the How.
  • Once that is clear in your mind, it is time to put it in paper, bits at a time, following your calendar schedule for the year. Time to be specific.
  • Avoid the double plan. This is not about plan 2; it is about over-planning or making lists on top of lists that end up confusing or derailing you (believe me, I know). Stick to a clear black and white plan stated in simple terms. Gray areas might open doors to exploration, which may lead to over-planning or derailment. This is why you make a clear plan and stick with it. Don’t get me wrong, exploration and spontaneity are good, as long as they don’t open the door that will take you away from your main focus.
  • Always have a plan 2. If plan 1 (yes, I’m tired of the phrase plan A or plan B) doesn’t seem to be working modify it without changing your main goals, that is unless you find out that it is not a goal for you anymore, and in that case, this is why research helps in the beginning. But we are human, and we change, so if by the first quarter of 2014, you find that you are not sure you want to do what you set out to do, don’t drop it yet; do a little more research, and then, decide (exploration and spontaneity may help here). Sometimes, a bit more clarification is what you need to put you on track.
  • Acknowledge your efforts, and celebrate each milestone during the year. This is very important. I used to ignore this step, and because of it, my sense of progress was clouded, opening a door for frustration. When you go back and see how far you’ve come (quarterly is a good way to do it), then, it is as a fresh breath of air that propels you to the next stage (even when you might be your own cheerleader). This is necessary but human nature will tell you to skip it and propel ahead – don’t.
  • Evaluate your steps every quarter (or whatever works for you) and readjust your plan as needed, but not by over-planning.
  • Whether you achieve your goal or are almost there, realize that you are closer to it thanks to your healthy planning, and congratulate yourself. If you hit your goal, celebrate! Understand that you are human, and you might have it all down on paper, but life gets in the way sometimes, and after all, living life is what you do best, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
  • Be grateful every step of the way.

Best Wishes for this year, and may you carry out your 2014 dreams.

 

000

/ inkspeare / 5 Comments

This is how I’m starting the new year, at 000. It is a gift just to be here, and I want to start anew, fresh, without any preconceptions. I want to live 2014 as if it was my last year here. 2013 left its mark, and I am grateful for it all. I receive this year at 000. It is a new opportunity, a new beginning, a new purpose, a new living, a new second, millisecond … . I want to make the most of it, not in traveling or great accomplishments, bucket lists, or to-do lists, but in being present every second of my life, in seeing the awe in the minuscule, the humble in the majestic, the new in the old, and the old in the new, the love in everything, and the one in all. I don’t want to take anything for granted. I want to wake up everyday at 000, the second I open my eyes. I invite you to do the same. Happy New Year! 

000 

When Your Inner Critic Befriends the Naysayers

/ inkspeare / 3 Comments

Boom! This is an explosive combination. Inner Critic + Naysayer(s) = Dangerous Liaison. If you are human, you have an inner critic living inside you. It is a ruthless, sneaky, negative, tricky, hopeless saboteur who celebrates doubt, chaos, fear, weakness, and illogical self-punishment. It creeps when you least expect it and creates the perfect environment for growing failure.  It sucks that you have to live with this innate character 24/7 but it does not have to be like that; you, the real you – the positive, enlightened, spiritual, self-assured, divine, and blessed soul who happens to live next to it, have the total control and will to overpower the inner critic. Because the inner critic knows this, it has to find outside help to validate itself, to become stronger, and to overpower the real you. It is when it welcomes any naysayer available for grabs. The inner critic delights in such presence and input; it is the perfect companion to build together an environment fertile for growing the fruits of failure – the enemies of the spirit. Because of this, you have to be vigilant and smart about the kind of company you keep, as well as the kind of conversations you encourage. Too much of it will weaken you, and will lower your defenses. It will dwindle your faith and will consume your inspiration. It will slowly envelop you in a fake comfort-blanket of self-pity and lethargy that will keep growing until it destroys you.

It is normal to have doubt, fear, even a bit of self-pity sometimes; after all, we live in blood and flesh bodies in a material world. However, it is when you allow the inner critic to form the above equation that you empower it.

Photo by M.A.D.

Photo by M.A.D.

 

Answering Your Calling – Enjoy the Process

/ inkspeare / 2 Comments
Animation of the structure of a section of DNA...

Animation of the structure of a section of DNA. The bases lie horizontally between the two spiraling strands. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Life is full of surprises, of twists and turns, of straight roads, of the predictable, of the inevitable, of the good, and of the not-so-good … life is a miracle. It seems short many times, too short; other times, it may seem as an eternity, depending on what chapter are you living or reliving. When we are young, we live day by day, as if life is eternal; with the pass of time, we realize that it is not, and so our search for meaning begins. We experience mid-life crisis, moments of enlightenment, moments of despair, epiphanies, and absolute sense of loss. Time becomes important, precious, our best ally, and our worst measure of self. We come to a halt; suddenly, we need more, meaning and purpose – we want to find our calling. So we set on a journey of discovery, introspection, and awe. A journey that is different for every human being. To each, its own, says the adage. We focus on finding, and we search and question, ponder and wonder … and we become exhausted. We have not found our calling. Maybe, there is nothing to be found. How can we find what is already there?

We don’t have to find our calling, we have to answer it. Each human being is here for a reason, an important and unique (as DNA) purpose. It is engraved in us, and no matter how much time goes by, the calling is still there. Our searching is part of the process of discovering to be able to answer when we are ready – in perfect synchronicity, in harmony. Instead of enjoying this process, we become frustrated, impatient, sad, lonely, angry, desperate, hopeless, doubtful, without faith … we forget about the now, the moment that is part of the whole that becomes the calling. When we become aware of the now, we begin to answer. Wonderful and magical things happen as we become present.

Majestic New Day

/ inkspeare

“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”  Psalm 118:24

The other day, I was thinking about how everyday I look at the same scenery and how a generic mental picture of that scenery is kept on my mind, as if it was a postcard that was filed in my brain. I pondered how I took the visual image for granted every day, and even thought that tomorrow that panorama as seen through the generic image filed in my brain would still be there. Well, I didn’t like the thought, so I had to change it. I needed a “not for granted” appreciation of the everyday scenery. Why? Because writing is a solitary endeavor, and sometimes, too much of it starts to feel stale. I took several pictures of the same scenery on different days. This exercise opened my eyes, and reprogrammed my brain. It also gave me a sense of renewal and gratitude. Pictures sometimes tell it better than words (yes, I said that), so here is a Majestic New Day of the same scenery. This pictures have not been enhanced in any way, which proves how blessed we are every day, and how blind we can become to what each day brings anew.

On an early morning, before sunrise. A thick line of clouds in the horizon, perfectly straight looks like a mountain.

On an early morning, before sunrise. A thick line of clouds on the horizon, perfectly straight looks like a mountain.

The sun is rising on another day, at about the same time.

The sun is rising on another day, at about the same time.

On another day, the same view, the sun already out, and this time a palette of gold.

On another day, the same view, the sun already out, and this time a palette of gold.

Do you see what I mean? The same view in the morning, but on different days this week has no resemblance to the generic mental image that I keep of the view.  It tells a story of a majestic and wonderful gift of a brand new day, that the Creator of this universe paints different every day, and for our enjoyment. I could probably go on an on taking pictures, and each day, it would be different. The generic image might still be in my brain, but not with the same level of appreciation.

Promises to Keep

/ inkspeare

It is nice to be back after some time away from writing during the Thanksgiving break. December is here, and I am thinking about the end of the year already. It seems that 2013 flew away, and I find myself pondering about all the goals that I set for this year. Many I accomplished, many I did not. On a scale from 1 to 5, number 1 being less challenging, I think that this year presented its challenges in all aspects of my life, and I give it a 4. However, there are 29 more days until the end of the year, and each one represents an amazing opportunity. I have many promises to keep to myself (one way to view important goals).  Although I don’t like to miss a goal, even when things are out of my immediate control, I realize that as long as I am here, I can keep working on the things that are meaningful to me (goals), and upgrade them to the promise level.

Calling these unmet goals Promises to Keep, helps me focus with intention and without blame/frustration in the new year. I invite you to use this approach and see the difference in attitude when you approach the new year.  Of eleven major goals that I set for 2013, I accomplished six so far, and I intend to turn those other five unto 2014 promises.

I am already working on setting new goals for 2014. The process excites me and keeps me going despite any obstacles that may appear unexpectedly. It is how I function best, and  how I keep myself inspired when “life” happens. Today, as I thought about this year and pondered about the next, I felt a sense of relief and grounding knowing that as long as I have promises to keep, all is well.    

Thanksgiving – In Poverty and Abundance

/ inkspeare
English: "The First Thanksgiving at Plymo...

English: “The First Thanksgiving at Plymouth” (1914) By Jennie A. Brownscombe (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Tomorrow we will be celebrating Thanksgiving Day in the United States. Whether you live in abundance or in poverty, one thing is for sure – you will be thinking about “giving thanks.” The mere act of thinking about this day that we celebrate makes us ponder about the “state of our lives.” Whether you are thankful or not for your current situation has nothing to do with the level of satisfaction you derive from it.  Whether you live in abundance or poverty, your mind will reach for the file that reads “I am thankful for …” There must be something you are thankful for, just one thing.

I am thankful for many things in my life now, as well for many in the past. The future is not here yet but I aim to be grateful for it as well. When I asked myself, “What are you most grateful for and why?” I came to a halt. I could name many things I am thankful for, but I could not settle on naming just one – “the one.” Then, the answer became clear. The thing that I am most thankful for is the present second, the now. Why? Because without it, without the awareness of it, all the other things disappear from mind. It is in that second that I am alive, processing thought, that I can think of my wonderful husband, my cats, my family, friends, and all the good things around me. It is in that second, in the now, that I can experience life through my senses and brain. The scent of a traditional thanksgiving dinner, the sounds of holiday music, the pine cone candle aroma … so much to take in.

On the other side of things – the misery side – your senses and brain are probably processing different information. Maybe hunger, or pain, or heartache … so much to take in. The same milliseconds of Now, in misery and abundance become “the one thing to be grateful for” when we become one with life, with the miracle it is, beyond physical barriers. It is then that we become so grateful for the experience … just the experience.

To all of you who celebrate Thanksgiving Day, I wish you a wonderful and happy day, and to the rest of you, I wish a wonderful and happy NOW!

Perseverance – Is it Worth the Pain?

/ inkspeare / 2 Comments
Tape measure

Tape measure (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is it worth it? I have asked this a few times. It is a question that one time or another will cross your mind and heart. The answer to it is as individual as we are. It comes down to not so much the Why or What or even When but of How Much. How much do you want something (Fill the blank)?  This is where the answer is. I have read countless of books on achieving goals/dreams and many of them focus on the Why. Find your why and you will find a reason. This is true; however, sometimes a reason is not enough, no matter how powerful. Sometimes it comes down to how much you want something, and is it worth the pain to achieve it. By pain I mean all the things you will have to do, modify, change, refuse, sacrifice, endure … to persevere to get what/where you want.

Is it a matter of time? To each its own, time is irrelevant, I have found (although necessary as a measure in the physical). It is my perception of time that matters. How long am I willing to keep on going, on believing, on working towards this or that, on waiting, on just being there, on trying, on moving on, on … How much am I willing to give? How much of my time, my energy, my effort, my hope, my faith, my focus, my interest, my … How much? How much longer will I … persevere? Is it worth it? The answer is as individual as you are. How Much for you is all about You. You, Me, we are in constant evolution. You, Me are one and of the same. It adds another layer, doesn’t it?

Write, Write, Write, Then Take the Plunge and Make Things Happen

/ inkspeare
Lao Tzu, traditionally the author of the Tao T...

Lao Tzu, traditionally the author of the Tao Te Ching (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I was in elementary school, I read a quote from the Chinese philosopher Lao Tse (also known as Lao Tzu, Lao Tze, Laosi …), and it stood with me for the rest of my life. In Spanish, because that is the language in which I read it, it read “De las cosas ni lo mucho ni lo poco, en el termino medio reside el equilibrio.” Translating it to English it means, “Of things, not too little nor too much, in the middle resides the equilibrium.”  I don’t know why when I read this from a book being read in the classroom that day, this quote made a home in my memory but it has lived with me since. I remember reading it over, and liking it for some reason. In a way, I think it has permeated how I lived my life, and I don’t know if that is good or bad. It sounds the opposite to “live to the fullest all the way!” But I have always beware of excess. Thank you Lao Tse?

As a writer,  I applied that philosophy, most likely unaware of it. In the beginning, I wrote, and wrote, researched the craft, learned, pondered, kept learning, pondered some more, and decided to take the plunge. I became an indie and published my work.  The key here is that it was not a rushed or prolonged decision; it was taken after much research and deliberation, but at a comfortable time for me as a writer.  I think this quote applies to the process I experienced before self-publishing. Thank you Lao Tse.

At times, aspiring writers follow the advice “write, write, write” but that is as far as they go. They get stuck in the writing phase, and maybe do a little research about the craft, and begin doubting themselves. Fear is a normal part of the process, so is doubt. Researching and learning, while writing, will take care of those two nuisances. However, not too little nor too much (or too long) that you become paralyzed and do nothing about your future as a writer, whether that is embracing the traditional model of publishing or becoming and indie writer. At one point, you will have to find your equilibrium before taking the plunge.

The middle is where balance resides but you have to find your own middle to find your equilibrium, and decide when it is the right time for you as a writer to take the plunge. Not too little as to be unprepared, not too much as to become paralyzed by procrastination or doubt/fear. In the later, you might have to see if there are some areas where you need strength by learning a bit more, and find your balance. Once you find your equilibrium, you can make a comfortable and informed decision.  You will have found your equilibrium.

Just a Few Words

/ inkspeare
New Orleans: Thank you message in the grotto o...

New Orleans: Thank you message in the grotto of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church; added by those for whom prayer or miracles were granted (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This was not the intended post for today, but it is what I needed to write. I write it for you, as for myself. The truth is that I probably need these words more than you do. Sometimes, life has a funny way of showing up. It shows up in the expected as well as the unexpected. It would not be call living if it weren’t that way. It would be programming instead, and I particularly don’t like the word programming that much. So I have assumed the attitude of welcoming life with its expectations as well as with its surprises; in the end, I know that it serves the purpose – it completes the picture. It is the journey. Sometimes, the journey might not be as easy as expected or work  as you have planned; however, it is your journey, my journey, and it must be lived. Living the unexpected journey is the challenging part. Living the expected is always easy. It is the unexpected that shapes your character. Whoever said “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” was probably thinking along those lines. And it is a fine line sometimes. But in the end, you know, I know, who holds the pen to draw those lines. You/I hold the pen with gratitude and keep on drawing along the way or we break it into pieces. But know (I know) that a broken pen ceases to write. It is gratitude that holds the picture together.

Whatever events/challenges/the unexpected life brings you, live it with gratitude. In the end, when you halt to rest, and look back, you will do so with a smile. If you smile, then you will know that you are ready to keep walking the journey, stronger, and maybe wise as well. In your heart, my heart, we know that sometimes it takes just a few words … of gratitude, strength, wisdom, encouragement, sometimes the right unexpected words for the unexpected part of the journey. I need them, you need them, we all need them at some point in our lives.

With gratitude,

Inkspeare