writer

When Quitting is the Right Option

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Stop

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I used to obsess about stuff – a book, a project …  By obsess I mean, that when I started something I had to finish it, no matter if I was enjoying it or not – in my mind, if I started, I must finish.  I read many books that I disliked or bored me to death, just because I started them.  Some people may think, “well that is not so bad; I wish I could finish stuff.”   It is bad when it sends you thru the path of a wrong career, and in the middle of your studies, you know it is the wrong path, but you keep on, because you started and must finish.  It is bad, when you doubt your instincts, your inner voice, because you must finish what you started, even when you know that may not be the right thing or path for you.  It is bad, when something that you enjoyed when you started it, does not fit your goals or persona anymore, but you must finish because you never leave things unfinished.

There are many instances when quitting is the right option, and maybe the only option, if you want to move ahead.  When something does not lift your spirit anymore and becomes a burden, maybe it is time to take a look and ask why?  Answering why is important because it will let you know if it is just a temporary stale situation, or if you have gone on the wrong direction, and must adjust your step, or stop walking on that direction entirely.  Sometimes, it is just a matter of perspective, and there is no need to quit; other times, quitting will be necessary for growth.

When I realized that doing something just for the sake of doing it, without meaning, without direction, without desire or passion, or without love, that is when I stopped reading the book that bored me half way, working at the wrong career, and just doing things that killed my spirit.  However, before you quit, you have to know your new direction, you have to know where you are headed, and be sure of the why; otherwise, you may regret it.

So, when is quitting the right option?  When you know that continuing in that path will only hurt your spirit, your self, your soul, and when you have the answer to the question Why? … and when you know that you have a sense of where your next path begins – even when sometimes, you may not know right away where it will take you.  However, before you quit, you must first turn around, and STOP!

Memories of Sandy, the Black and White Pig

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Pig in Sno village

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Lately, Sandy has popped in my mind.  Sandy was a black and white pig with whom I had a childhood friendship.  I saw him grow up since he was a baby pig.  I have memories of conversations with Sandy; early in the morning I ran to his pen and talked to him.  The funny thing is that he seemed to listen, or at least I thought  he did – we had an understanding.

One morning, I went to say hello as usual, but Sandy wasn’t there.  I ran screaming to my grandmother, who told me he must have gone out at night.  I believed her.  The next day, I went to the local country store who was a few steps from home.  I used to run there barefooted at times – out of childhood laziness.  Since I knew the shop owner, I went thru the back entrance, sometimes.  That day, I did.  There, laying on the floor I saw my Sandy – he was dead, but I knew it was him.  I started screaming and crying, and they had to take me home.  They told me it wasn’t him, but I knew him well.  Those memories are so alive in my mind, and as I write this post, tears are flowing.

I write this post, first, because I realized that after more than 40 years, I have to let go of Sandy, and keep only the good memories.  Second, to let you know that you may have your own Sandy (whatever that may be), that needs closure – even when you don’t know it, or have not known it for many years.  If one day, you find yourself reminiscing about your own Sandy, don’t discard your memories as foolish, they popped up for a reason.  Reminisce and take care of some doors that have been left open for years.  Oil up the hinges and close them gently.  As artists, we don’t know what may hinder our creativity.

Today, as I write this post, I think of my beloved Sandy in a different way.

The Story You Have to Tell

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St. Augustine writing, revising, and re-writin...

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Have you asked “Why do I write?  If not, you should.  It will put your writing into perspective.  For some writers, the answer will be for fun, for money, for success, for fame, for love of the craft, to express myself, to help or inspire others … the answers to that question are personal and there are no wrong answers to it.  However, your answer must match your motive, and your motive, should match your effort and goals.

If you are in it to make money or for success, you should be realistic on the venues that you will use to make your goals a reality.  However, if you are doing it to inspire others, then that should be your main focus.  Somehow, money becomes secondary, almost an after thought.  The time for monetary reward comes eventually if you stay true to your purpose and reason for writing.

For some writers, the story they have to tell – wether inspirational or not – is the greater purpose – they have to tell the story, whether it sells well or not.  They know that they need to write the story and the story must reach the reader it was intended for or the reader who needs to get its message.  Wether it is for millions of readers or just one reader, does not matter.  For these writers, the story itself, (the message) is worth more than monetary compensation or fame.  They would write it anyway.  Why?  Because the story itself becomes “the why” – it is the story they have to tell.

The Ageless Artist

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Sketch of W. Somerset Maugham.

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This morning I read a post on Facebook that quoted someone – “… no artist should be allowed to live after he’s 40.  By then a man has done his best work, all he does after that is repetition.” Of Human Bondage,” W. Somerset Maugham.

My reply to the quote itself was,  “Those are such foolish words, inspiration and art are ageless.”

If that was true possibly half or more of the greatest works in history would have not come to be.  Art and Inspiration are ageless, simply because they come from within, from the heart, the soul, and the deepest crevices of our spirit.  The artist inside you is ageless and ready to create when the need and instinct to create makes it inevitable for Art to be born.  Whether artists realize it or not, their art comes from their deepest desire to become creators themselves, and from the spiritual connection between their humanity and their soul.  When you create a piece, there is more than the aging carcass at work; the shell is just the instrument to make art real, art relies on the artist to become, but it is.  Many artists may have the same idea, but it is expressed in different ways and takes its unique form; therefore, becoming art.  In that sense, the artist is ageless.

Where Do You Get Your Veggies?

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vegetables

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This past weekend I went to the farmer’s market to get my fruits and vegetables.  The drive there is about half and hour; however, the roads we take have a bit of a country view.  I can easily drive three minutes to one of the three nearby supermarkets, but there is a reason for the monthly drive to the farmers market, well, maybe more than one.

The first reason is that the fruits and vegetables come from local farms and this supports the local economy.  The second reason is that the fruits and veggies taste so much better and are bigger than the ones bought at the supermarket.  The third reason, is that I save money as well.  I can pay $3 for a whole basket of Jersey tomatoes or I can go to the nearest supermarket and pay $4.99 for three small tomatoes in a pack.  I spent $28.00 in fruits and veggies that will last our household (me and my husband) for a whole month, maybe more.  Cutting and freezing is part of the weekend as well.  In addition, we enjoy this trip.  For now, this will do; once we move out-of-state we will be growing our own food and farming.

This got me thinking.  It matters where I get my vegetables, and the same principle can be applied to … my inspiration, my knowledge, my learning, my advice.  Where or from who do you get inspiration, knowledge, advice …?  Just as it may be more convenient to get my vegetables at the nearest supermarket – a 3 minute drive – I may also be getting a fruit or veggie that is of less quality, lacks in flavor, and does not give me all that I am looking for or expecting.

As beginning artists or writers, we must mind where we get our feedback, education/learning, and inspiration.  The wrong advice or ill comment can take the flavor of our work and leave a sour spirit.  In the end, shortcuts may make your journey much longer.

The binding of Age

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Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909.

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If you grew up as I did, most likely, you will have the imprinted belief that as soon as you hit 40, you are going down hill.  I have seen a few over the hill greeting cards that seem to cater to that frame of thought.  Believing that this is the case, is a very dangerous thing because it binds you to certain expectations throughout your life.  Certain things should have happened before you turned 45, and if they have not, most likely you will abandon certain goals, and will end up feeling a failure.  What a sick belief!

The truth is that no one knows how long they will live and most people may live to their late eighties.  In this case, being 40, for example, is having half or more of your life to live.  This is not the time to abandon goals or feeling as a failure; on the contrary, it is the time to make them real and with more “gusto” since you have already enjoyed many years of being traditionally “young.”

Age is in your mind;  it is a matter of how your mind is set and of how it has been programmed all these years.  Yes, there are some physical changes on the outside, but the “you” inside the shell knows better.  No one likes wrinkles or the physical changes that come with age; if they did, plastic surgery and beauty aides would not exist.  I myself, am not a fan of wrinkles.  However, I have met young people who act as 90 year olds, and 80 year olds who act as if they were 25.  For those 80 year olds that still see a bright life ahead of them, age is just a number, and age does not bind them to any “society expectations” – they are the masters of their lives.

Uninspired? Change Your Spot

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Distracted Bunny

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Today, as I was getting ready to work on my novel, I could not get myself started.  I sat at the desk, opened the file, and soon got distracted with something else.  I knew I had to go back to it, but something was not quite right.  I felt the urge to go outside and write, pen in hand.  I looked outside and the chair was still a bit wet from last night rain, but I went outside anyway.  I sat to write.  Soon, words started to pour, almost nonstop.  In no time, I had a chapter done, as soon as the words stopped pouring in.

I understood that I was ready to write, just not at my desk.  Sometimes, just moving to another spot will do the trick to get you started on that page or that chapter.  Next time, if you want to get started but somehow don’t seem to connect with your muse, go somewhere else and try it.

Turning Point

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LesCorsetsLeFuretParis18cutB

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It took some time to master the courage to follow my dream of writing – and going through many jobs as well.  There are three things that I love – Writing, Real Estate, and Art – of this I am sure.  Writing is me, Real Estate is pure beauty, and Art is an outlet.

When I decided to write, my goal was to write my first novel.  I am happy to say that I did that and I started my second novel.  During that time, I got distracted doing other assignments – all related to my love of writing –  however, this has taken me away from my dream of becoming a novelist and it has taken all my time, leaving me with little time to write my next novel.

It dawned on me that  I had deviated from my dream and that I was at a turning point – I realized that I had to turn back.  Many times, we set sail on the right path to later discover that we have deviated from it doing something similar to what we were set out to do in the beginning.  Once more, we find ourselves mustering the courage to turn back, and setting up the sails to a different wind.

Roses by Magic

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A rose bush.

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Sitting at my computer for long hours is a bit tiring, so I try to walk around the house, for short breaks or to get some  coffee.  Today, I glanced outside thru the screen door that leads to the backyard.  I was pleasantly surprised to see the rose-bush full of dark red roses – a magical blanket of red.  When did it happen?  As if by magic, the rose-bush that was just sticks a few weeks ago, turned into a marvel of nature.  Although I was not paying attention, the change did not happen from one day to the next – it took some time; slowly the lush leaves appeared, and later, the breathtaking roses.

This gave me some insight.  I thought, sometimes, we worry so much when we are following our call, specially when we don’t see results right away.  We tend to shrivel, to dry, and forget that the growth happens slowly; and just as those roses one day appeared in all their splendor, so it will happen if we continue our path and let growth and bloom happen naturally.

On Being Your Own Cheerleader

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Many times, people find themselves in a sea of uncertainty about their dreams and goals.  Many times, the uncertainty comes from outside sources – from the naysayers that have managed to bury the seed of doubt in the dreamer’s heart.  If you are a dreamer that is working hard towards the goal, it is up to you to toughen up and grow some roses in your heart – their thorns will suffocate the weed that is trying to grow from the seed that naysayers planted there.

Many times, you will have to be your own cheerleader, maybe even the only one.  When others fail you, you can always count on you.  But when you feel as if you have failed yourself, it is because you have let many weeds grow in the garden of your heart.  Start weeding out and you will find again your dream.