Ponderable

Ghost Words

/ inkspeare
A trashcan at a food court in Salt Lake City, Utah

A trashcan at a food court in Salt Lake City, Utah (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The more I think about our kind, I see the complexity of our being.  This morning for example, I went for my early walk, and saw this complexity unfolding.  I am a hello, good morning person, so when I am walking and happen to see another of my species, I usually say the words.  Many times, I get some kind of response – a smile, a gesture of a head tilted sideways with a subtle up movement, a hello or a good morning.  Other times, I get nothing, a stern look, or a head down, avoiding eye contact.  This has puzzled me for so long – why do people do this?  Even animals, acknowledge other species, and theirs.  This morning, I said Good Morning to a woman who was cutting some flowers, and who politely answered with a short and quick good morning, the kind with the absence of a smile.  Later on, I said good morning to a man who had come out of his home and was ready to collect his garbage cans.  He looked at me, as if I had just insulted him, and said nothing.  As I walked further, I spotted a crossing guard who was walking to reach her morning post.  I smiled, but instead met with the quick head down to avoid eye contact.  Later on, I encountered two neighbors driving to their destination flashing smiles and waving. Thank God I’d just reached home and that was the last image I had on my mind – my happy neighbors – because I was beginning to feel a bit uninspired and yes, puzzled, about why people behave that way so early in the morning. I understand when people have had a rotten day, but so early?

It is true that we are living in a fast technologically “challenged?” society, and that we seem to “need more hours” to keep up the pace. However, we seem to have forgotten good manners while we spend the 24 hours we have. It seems to me that two very important words/phrases are almost nonexistent these days – GOOD MORNING (or Hello) and THANK YOU.

It may be my perception, but I seem to hear them less these days. It was very important to say Thank You or Good Morning, not too long ago, although it may seem another century, or as if these words have been relegated to retail pleasantries status. It puzzles me when a door is held or opened for someone, something is given, or someone takes the time or effort to do something for someone, even for a stranger, and these words are never said. As if the person at the other end was a ghost.

What has happened to us? Why are these words less important today than a few decades ago? I am not sure if the speed we live our lives has to do anything with it, or is it that our values have changed, and good manners are not important any more? Sometimes I get more thank you’s from automated systems/services or machinery than from human beings. It is not that I want to be thanked all the time, but more of a concern about “where is our kind headed.” A world where everything is taken for granted? One without gratitude? One where machines seem to have better manners than humans? Or are we there?

We all have our slip-offs and moments of “zombie awareness,” but when our hurried steps/lives become more significant than the generous acts of others (who happen to have the same 24 hours that we have), maybe it is time to stop the purposeless frenzy and think about how long  has it been since we said the Ghost Words.  By the way, Thank You for reading this.

 

Celebrating Your Power to Say No – Watercolors Friday

/ inkspeare / 2 Comments

I want to dedicate this Watercolors Friday to YOU.  To all that is YOU.  I hope that you think about that.  You are more than the sum of your parts – you are a special creation.  You are more than all your roles; you are more than all your labels, and you are more than all your thoughts and dreams together.  Together … to be.  All the possibilities that your being – your creation – gives you.  I hope that you celebrate yourself today; I know that it is not easy to do this sometimes.  Many times, we forget to celebrate ourselves because we are too busy celebrating others – or what others want in our lives.  Sometimes, we do not want the same things, but we are afraid of saying NO.

It is easier to say YES than to say NO.  It take guts to say NO because we are afraid of what others will think of us – and that is pretty much it, we care too much about what others “will think” or “feel” and we end up forgetting about our feelings, wants, and needs.  We stop celebrating ourselves.  At extreme, we end up living unhappy lives, lives that belong to others.

Saying NO doesn’t come easy; it takes time and training/practice.  I remember the first time I learned to say NO and being conscious of it – as a decision.  I was two and a half (my memories start at that age).  My Mom wanted me to play with two little girls that lived across from us (by the way, we lived in a haunted house – no kidding here).  I hated to play with them because they would not let me play with their toys – they wanted me to sit and watch only.  One day, I had it.  I waited until their Mom came to ask my Mom to let me go and play.  I waited until they started playing with their beautiful plastic horses – tons of them.  I wanted to play with a light caramel  horse.  I reached to grab it, and they took it away from me.  That instant it clicked (I remember the moment like it was now) – I swiped my hand across all their horses and scattered them all over the living room – then, I could not stop doing it, and horses of all colors and sizes flew up on the air.  I was free. I said NO.  The girls started crying, and their mom took me home.  That was the last time I had to go there; I was happy.

Over the years, I stopped saying NO and learned to say YES more often, until another dramatic day … It was like that for me for most of the time until I grew up and later in life, much, much later, I understood that I did not have to say Yes, when all I wanted was to say NO.  That is when I started celebrating myself.  Today, I am confident saying NO when I mean to say it, and that is when saying YES will make me unhappy.  It is better to say NO than say Yes and do what it is that you said yes to with an unhappy and unloving feeling, or doing it half-way, with no passion, or to do a crappy job at it – just because NO was what you were supposed to say.  That only disrespects the other person, who is counting on you.

There are many times that we will have to say Yes when we rather say NO; however, this happens because we truly want to help someone – and that is honorable.  However, it is when we prolong the Yes, and it starts affecting our happiness that it matters to say NO.

Happy Watercolors Friday! Celebrate YOU!

Reminder:

I will be giving away three copies of Ramblings of the Spirit, the first book of the trilogy The Dinorah Chronicles.  To enter for a chance to win one of the three copies, just like my Facebook page (link at the right of the screen on this blog) and that is all you have to do.  I will announce the three winners on May 20, which is the birth date of the person to whom I have dedicated this book – my maternal grandmother.

The Second Truth

/ inkspeare

Truth – 1. Conformity to knowledge, fact, or actuality; veracity.  2. Something that is the case; the real state of affairs.  3. Reality; actuality.  4. A statement proven to be or accepted as true.  5. Sincerity; honesty. – American Heritage Dictionary

By looking at the above definition of truth, one will think that truth is one-sided, as we have traditionally learned to believe.  “There is only one truth” is a phrase that we have heard many times, and possibly agreed with it.  I say, we should consider a second truth, not only when the first truth does not suffice, but always.  To illustrate this point, let me relate to you something I overheard this morning at the post office.  This post was inspired by that conversation.

A man was talking to the clerk about a problem with his red mustang (later I saw the man at the parking lot pulling out in the new model).  Apparently, something had been wrong with it and the mechanic took time figuring out what it was.  The man was making these comments, feeling certain that he knew the truth.

Mustang Man – “These mechanics know nothing these days.  They cannot figure out the problem unless they hook the car to a machine.  I remember when good mechanics used to know what was wrong with the car just by listening to it – blah, blah, blah …”

Mustang Man continued to share his wisdom and the more truth he felt he shared the better he seemed to feel, and he left the post office smiling and wishing the clerk a great day.  The clerk seemed to agree with him as well.  I was smiling, and Mustang Man smiled and gestured a good-bye to me.  However, I was smiling, not because I agreed with his truth, but because I knew of a second truth.  There, I saw how truth is based on our own experiences and the knowledge we have at the moment of a particular subject.

My truth – My truth is based on different information and knowledge of the subject.  See, I am married to a mechanic, and by default, a lot of the knowledge has trickled down to me.  Many times, I find myself in conversation with my sister, and she tells me – “the mechanic just told me what you just thought it may be.”  I laugh because, in 25 years of marriage, I have become a sponge, learning little bits by osmosis.  Through my husband I have learned that today’s cars are not even a shadow of what cars where many years ago – possibly the time -frame Mustang Man was talking about.  Today’s cars are computerized beasts full of software and sensors that depend on one another, like a steampunk symphony, one thing affecting the other but not necessarily becoming a part of it.  Today’s mechanics are more knowledgeable in terms of absorbing and learning more information, and knowing different systems, than yesteryear mechanics.  They need to learn software, and learn to use it to be able to diagnose a car properly.  Today’s computerized beasts are more than motor and spark, therefore requiring precise computerized adjustments.  With so many sensors and software systems, one little issue may trigger another, and therefore making it more difficult to diagnose.  This would be impossible to do by a yesteryear mechanic  or a.k.a. Mustang Man’s hero.

Another issue with today’s systems is that they keep changing at fast pace, as technology changes, and the consumer seems to want more “bells and whistles” and comforts.  This creates the need for better trained mechanics who undergo continuing education through their jobs.  High end cars, have very sophisticated computerized systems, that only become available to lower end models later on, or by special order – depending on the maker.

According to Mustang Man’s truth, which was based on old-fashion knowledge of automotive systems and an admiration for the good ole’ mechanic, today’s mechanics know nothing.  According to my truth, which is based on more current information on automotive systems and my admiration for my mechanic hubby, today’s mechanics are more knowledgeable and educated.  Two truths that are completely opposite and both influenced by the observer/participant experience.

And that is why you should always consider the second truth – learn, explore, inform yourself, and then make up your mind, before uttering your only truth.

English: Own Work, Public Domain School in Col...

English: Own Work, Public Domain School in Columbus Avenue, New York, NY, USA. Category:Images of automobiles (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Why Am I Here?

/ inkspeare

I am sure that at one point or another we ask this question to ourselves.  It is the big question, at the brink of figuring out existentialism, our own, our desires, our goals, but no – it is more than that, the big Why.  But maybe that is not the only approach, or even the right approach; maybe, it is better to know that WE ARE HERE.  Yes, we are here and what you do with your time here is up to you and no one else. Do you really need a why to realize it? Or, do you dare to realize that YOU ARE HERE, and that in itself is one of the greatest discoveries and mysteries.  Dare to dream, but dare to accept that the infinite lives in you and you are here, in the infinite, while you try to figure out why.  Once you accept this, the why will be secondary to the greatness that you heart will experience, to the deep communion with all it is, and all it is inside you, and all is everything.

I came across this awesome NASA Timeless Earth video posted by youtuber boatright.  Watch it, and pay attention at how you feel when you are watching, and enjoy it because yes, you are a part of all that – of everything. All I can say is that I am glad that I AM HERE.

How to Stay Balanced When You are Upside Down

/ inkspeare
A triangular prism, dispersing light; waves sh...

A triangular prism, dispersing light; waves shown to illustrate the differing wavelengths of light. (Click to view animation) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today, I didn’t want to write about my novel or a writing topic, but instead, I wanted to write about what I was inspired at the moment.  So I asked my Muse, what do you want me to write about today? The title you just read came to mind, so that is what I am writing about this instant.

As someone who has known what this means, I can tell you that it is not easy to hang in there when everything has flipped upside down at one point in your life.  When your world hangs the opposite to your focus, it is easy to be discouraged, throw the towel, and just hang for eternity.  I think that hanging a bit is fine because you need to rest to fix your focus.  You need to rest emotionally, physically, and spiritually, as well as in the material state.  So give yourself time to just be, and let your broken spirit rest.

Once you have rested and pondered on your misery, the moment to make a decision knocks at the door of your heart, and you know that this is the time when you decide to pick yourself up and fix your focus, or maintain a state of hanging, sinking slowly into a deep hole.  Whether the contents of that hole is depression, sadness, anger, hopelessness, inertia, hate, laziness … and many other things, it is different to each individual.  However, when you are hanging upside down, after the rest, you will hear that knock, and you will have to answer.  Whether you start pulling at that rope, lifting yourself up slowly, and appreciating how the image comes back to focus bit by bit, or let the rope go, it is up to you.  One thing is for sure, you need to balance yourself to be able to pull that rope and getting yourself back up.  How is it possible to balance yourself when everything around you seems to be spinning out of control and you hang but by a leg?  It is not easy, but it is possible.  This happens when you rest and give yourself time to focus.

  • First, you need to recognize that you need help – whether from a professional or a best friend, and of course yourself.  Whether you can do this on your own, or need help is personal.
  • Second, you need to recognize that there are no blames in this process.  I truly believe that we are responsible for our own choices, and no one is to blame.
  • Third, you think about what you believe as truth in your life and make a commitment to yourself.
  • Fourth, you learn to view the world upside down for a while, and ponder about it.  What you discover about it may surprise you.
  • Fifth, you learn what your priorities are, and decide to make them your priority or not – knowing that there will be consequences to your decision (positive or negative).
  • Sixth, you accept to deal with those consequences understanding the process.
  • Seventh, you do this slowly, one step at a time.
  • Eight, you remain true to your beliefs and priorities when you start to fix your focus.
  • Ninth, you will discover that some things from your old upside down world, do not go into focus no matter how hard you try, so you will have to let those go, otherwise you will stay out of focus in some areas.  In this process, you will learn to say no.  You will learn that you will have to accept that you cannot please everyone. You will also learn to weigh which opinions matter more to you – others or yours.
  • Tenth, you must accept that no one can live your life but you, and that you cannot live your life according to other’s ideas of what your world should look like.  You have been given a responsibility to manage your life (a gift) and live it as well as you can; however your truths and priorities will guide you here.
  • Eleventh, this is when you start feeling that the image in front of you is just an image, and what matters is how you feel about it and how you live your life in this quasi upside down world.  You make it as straight as you want, and you do it one step at a time, balancing yourself in the process – checking from time to time your beliefs, truths, and priorities.
  • Twelfth, the realization that you are always in control hits you, and suddenly, even that you might be still pulling yourself up as you pull on the rope slowly, trying to straighten your world and fix your focus, you can see that the view upside down and in between is as ugly or beautiful as you make it to be, and that there is always a prism changing colors.

This is what I had to write today.

 

How I Scare Myself Silly

/ inkspeare / 3 Comments
Ghost?!

Ghost?! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This happened to me about two weeks ago or so.  The coincidence is so amusing to me, hence I am writing this post.  You are going to laugh when I tell you this, but come on, you know, what are the chances?  On Saturday night, hubby and I were ready to go to bed but decided to watch a YouTube movie on the lap top (they are free).  He picked 11-11-11 since we had not seen it and it seemed interesting.  Anyhow, this shows you what a way to spook myself silly.

So we start watching, he fell asleep for most of it but I watched it all.  It is about this man who keeps seeing the number 11.11 in different ways in his life – mom dies on that date, wife and son too, and other stuff.  He doesn’t believe in God, and his father is dying in Spain, his brother is a priest, but they have a strained relationship.  He travels to Spain and  soon, starts seeing weird stuff at his brother’s home – which happens to be a church too, He sees shadows, demons … and he thinks he has to save his brother, a prophet.  And I won’t tell you anything else because I don’t want to give it away.  So the movie ends, Eddie is up, and gets ready to turn the computer off, then, I happen to glance at the time on the clock near our bed, while the credits are rolling on the screen.  The time is 11:07, and I say “Oh my God” (just keep in mind that I just saw the movie).  This is our conversation.

Eddie – “Whaaat?”
Me – “Don’t turn it off, if what I think is going to happen, does happen, I will be so spooked that I will not sleep all night.”
Eddie – “Why are you looking at that crap (the credits)?”
Me – “Just watch the credits till the end of the movie, and watch the clock when the last one of the credits roll, just watch.”

So, he is looking at me like I am kind of a maniac, and I kept watching as the last of the credits roll, we look at each other (mouths opened).

Eddie – “This is so weird.” He starts laughing hysterically.
Me – “See, I told you, the movie ended at exactly 11:11.  That is so freaking scary, and why are you laughing, you should be as spooked as I am, now I will not sleep until you play some Mr. Bean clips or Eddie Murphy clips, to calm me down.”

Anyhow, he did, and then he was awake and he watched a karate movie and I went to sleep like a baby.  But it doesn’t end there, on Sunday, it was nice so we decided to go to the Collingswood Flea Market.  It was a good day for a good stroll.  Mind you, I still have the movie on my mind and thinking about synchronicity.

We picked up some coffee at the local Wawa.  The woman parked next to us, turns on her car, to leave, and it starts but shuts down, then quick starts on the next try, and she drives off.  We arrived at the market, and while I am looking at some old stuff on one of the tables, the man next to me tells the vendor – “the lights on your truck are on.”  The vendor says, “Thank you so much for letting me know,” and he goes to turn them off.

We keep walking and then it is time to head to the car.  We get in, and when Eddie starts it, it doesn’t start – the battery died because he forgot to turn the lights off (there was fog early).  So here we are, miles away from home, on a Sunday, figuring out how to get back (we don’t carry AAA).  Eddie gets off the car and walks towards a man who is heading to his car.  He asked him if he could jump us and explains what happened.  The gentleman says no problem, and he helps Eddie and the car starts right away (took less than a minute).  He didn’t want to take any money saying “No, I just did you a favor,” and he left.  I am inside the car all this time, and I look at the cap that the man is wearing, he is a Mason.  I can’t thank him enough for helping us.

Then, as we get ready to leave, this woman points to the eagle on the hood of the car and smiles, and yelled something that we could not make out, as she kept walking.  As we start rolling getting out of the parking lot, we stop just in time, because a car that is backing up, almost hit us.  I read the bumper sticker and this is what I see – “Don’t let the car fool you, my treasure is in Heaven.”  I said to Eddie, “come on, could this day get weirder or what?”  He, of course, is in la-la land and asks, “what are you talking about?”  I reply, “never mind, let’s go home.”

So this is a perfect example of how I spook myself silly, but you have to admit that some of the coincidences were amusing, none the least.