writing

Illuminating Blogger Award

/ inkspeare / 6 Comments

Thanks to Bardicblogger for nominating Inkspeare for the Illuminating Blogger Award – I am honored.

I have copied the rules for accepting this award from his blog and I am sharing them here.

Here’s the breakdown of the rules:

1. The nominee should visit the award site and leave a comment indicating that they have been nominated and by whom.  

2. The Nominee should thank the person that nominated them by posting & including a link to their blog.

 3. Share one random thing about yourself in your blog post.

4. Select at least five other bloggers that you enjoy reading their illuminating, informative posts and nominate them for the award.

5. Notify your  nominees by leaving a comment on their blog, including a link to the award site (http://foodstoriesblog.com/illuminating-blogger-award/).

 

So about me, I love vintage tools.

I enjoy many blogs, but here are five that I visit frequently and love.

1. Abominations

2. An Unrefined Vegan

3. The Jittery Goat

4. The Simple Life of a Countryman’s Wife

5. August McLaughlin’s Blog

And of course there are so many more that I love to read.

Why Can’t I Have my Cake and Eat it Too?

/ inkspeare / 4 Comments

I have never been able to understand the expression “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”  It doesn’t make sense to me, and I always end up thinking “Why can’t I?”  Although it may mean that you cannot have your cake intact or whole and eat it at the same time, referring to wanting the best of two worlds or wanting more than you can handle, or even having it both ways, a popular phrase, I still think that it is possible to have your cake and eat it too.  It is all on the approach to whatever “the cake” means to you.

The way I see it, when we practice mindfulness, we can have the cake and eat it, one bite/moment at a time, and that makes a huge difference.  When we multitask or want it all at once, the expression might make sense; however, when we learn to enjoy every bite, as tiny as it may be, we are able to savor the cake while appreciating it at the same time.  Picture a whole delicious cake (your favorite), and take a whole chunk out of it, or many at once, it is not whole anymore, it doesn’t resemble the original cake.  Now, take the same cake and with a spoon or fork, pick up a bit of frosting or ganache, and dig a little deep deeper, enjoying every bite.  Now, look at it, it still resembles the original cake.  You are having your cake and you are eating it too, one delicious small bite at a time, minding every bite.  Apply this to life, the cake representing your dream or goal.

The above metaphor tells you that without celebrating the journey, things may feel a bit incomplete or hollow.  I realized this later in life because I always thought that I was supposed to celebrate when I reached the pinnacle.  It is what I was taught in school and how I was socialized – the journey doesn’t count.  It is how most of us are raised and socialized.  The way I see it now, without the journey and the celebration of it, the last stop, the pinnacle, may seem a bit empty once I arrive.  I also know that the pinnacle is only one part of the whole journey.

We have a choice; we can rush eating the cake or we can eat it slowly and enjoy every bite while still seeing the big picture.  Many times the journey is what makes the destination worthwhile.

The Elusiveness of Success

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A carpenters' ruler with centimetre divisions

A carpenters’ ruler with centimetre divisions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At one point or another, we think about success, about how “successful” we are in our lives or endeavors.  The problem with measuring success is that we usually measure it against an ideal set up by society or against the success of others in our circle or people whom we admire and consider successful.  It is no surprise that most people would consider themselves unsuccessful and may feel a bit discouraged or sad about their stagnant lives or careers.  Little do we know that we are looking in the wrong direction and we are using the wrong measuring stick.

The question is, if we want to be successful (success is defined here as feeling realized and whole) why are we looking outwards when we should be looking inwards?  Why use the success of others as a measuring stick when we are our own “self” with unique dreams and goals, feelings about those dreams and goals, and a sense of where we want to be, whether clear or not at the moment.

Maybe it is that we are taught (since early age) to look at role models not so much in admiration but as imitation.  When we are asked the question, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” we are being asked, “who do you want to be like?”  If we happen to give the wrong answer, our parents or caretakers will offer a better suggestion – “why not becoming a – fill the blank – instead?”  And the quest for success starts.

I think that society needs role models, but not at the expense of creativity and individuality.  Role models fuel dreams, mentors inspire.  All that is good; however, it is sad that today we look to Hollywood to find role models, when we might have one in our backyards (and that is not to say that there aren’t any role models in Hollywood, because there are).  Without sounding preachy, let’s go back to the topic of success and why it may seem so elusive.

“Why don’t I feel successful?”  This is a good question to ask ourselves.  It focuses on the individual and his/her feelings, which is an inward point of view.  The minute we focus our answer outwards, there lies the problem (the culprit).  A possible answer could be – “Because I have not found an agent or a publisher yet” or “Because I don’t have much money” or “Because my art is not selling well enough” or “Because I am no Stephenie Meyer or Bill Gates” and it could go on and on …  These are examples of answers that point outwards and offer the wrong measuring stick.  The feelings of inadequacy that you might be experiencing may not be yours at all but rooted into the illusion of becoming like someone else, and that in itself is denying your own individuality (in a sense).  And this is why success is so elusive for most of us – because looking inwards is not that easy, and it is not what we were taught as we grew up.

So today, look inwards, take account of all your efforts, and see how far you have come, and celebrate that.  It is the first step to feeling successful and capturing the elusive butterfly.  Greatness comes from within and it becomes when it is directed to the service of others.

It is All About Perspective

/ inkspeare / 6 Comments

While cutting some veggies for last night dinner, I had one of my epiphanies.  I always cut the ends of the carrots, tomatoes, celery, or any other fruit or veggie that crosses my path.  Even when they are cut in halves, if pre-packaged, I go back and cut a slice from the ends just to have a fresh end (not sure if you follow me).  Well, by the time I am done, I have a decent amount of veggie scraps that go into the garbage because I cannot compost where I live now (but that will be possible in the near future – can’t wait).  It occurred to me that my waste was a perfect meal for people in some countries that will give anything to have a tiny slice of that scrap to make a soup – I mean countries where there is extreme hunger and poverty, and food is not an everyday sight.  Not that I am not aware of hunger, for some reason this time, it was different.

Besides feeling terrible and wasteful, I thought of how much perspective matters in how we go through life and do our own thing, and then, I thought of how it affects our writing.  When we write a story, even when we are writing from the character’s point of view, our own perspective of things and life is playing in the background.  I don’t think that it is possible to escape it totally, even when we try to be true to the character and do a lot of research about the topic or character’s behavior, origins, culture … and so on.

My point is, our perspective follows us everywhere, it is how we see things, life, and how we interpret it, besides being influenced by our own upbringing, culture, and experiences.  I have made vegetable soup countless of times, and yet, this time, those scraps meant something different, and have become meaningful somehow.

The Miracle of Senses

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The pentagram is used as a Christian symbol fo...

The pentagram is used as a Christian symbol for the five senses, and if the letters S, A, L, V, and S are inscribed in the points, it can be taken as a symbol of health (from Latin salus). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As I have said before, sometimes I get so focused on a task that I forget everything around me; I block everything else, and many times I forget that I was just making pancakes for breakfast or that I had just put a load of laundry and heard the bell a minute ago.  All I can say is thank God for all my senses.  The smell of starting to toast pancakes or the too quiet house will alert me and bring me back.  The gentle nag of a cat that wants a temptation treat has brought me back from the extreme focus vortex just in time.  This brings me to the topic of appealing to reader’s senses in your writing.

Just as it is important to me to get rescued by my senses, I thought of how important sensory stimulation is on a novel or a piece of writing.  Awakening readers senses gives a new depth to your story, and may rescue some readers from boredom – boredom of too much dialog or description.  Even if you are deprived of one sense, another takes over, keener and improved.  I try to keep this is mind when writing my story, as I tend to run into too much dialog.   To me, the senses are a miracle; it is how we experience the world, and how readers can experience your story.

Sometimes, I tend to ask myself the weirdest questions, and I have asked myself if I was to be deprived of a sense or ability, which one will I give up.  I know, it may sound sinister to many, but I think about unusual things sometimes.  I would give up speech.  I don’t  talk much; I am the silent type, the observer, and I rather write than talk.  As long as I can communicate when I need to in some way, I think I would be happy.  I am a very visual person, and that would be the sense that I would miss the most, probably to the point of insanity, which brings me to this point – readers are very different in their consumption of reading material and learning, so the senses that prevail throughout your story may appeal to some readers more than to others.  My point, striving for a good balance might not be a bad idea.

Do you think about stimulating the senses when writing your story?  Which sense would you give up?  Which one would you miss the most?  If you are missing a sense, how have you improved the other senses?

 

Use a Mirror to Manage Writer’s Block

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Hot air balloon water reflection Quebec

Image via Wikipedia

At one point or another, you may feel as if you cannot write or as if the story is not flowing quite the way it is supposed to flow.  You may think that you have been plagued by writer’s block (or artist’s block) and when you try to work on your novel or art, you cannot go back to it, as if something prevents you from it.  I have been there and what I found out was that it was not so much of a writer’s block, but more of a conflict with a particular part of the story.  It may be a character, beliefs, philosophy, or even a particular scene.  Somehow, you have an internal reaction or “a problem” with it.  It may be that you do not agree with something that you happen to be writing, but know that you have to write, whether it is to keep the story going, or by mere inspiration.  When you feel that you are stuck with the story, take a break and ponder about the last thing you wrote.  Take notice of how you feel about it, and if an internal bell rings.  This is a sign that you have something to work on (on yourself) before proceeding ahead with the story.  The way I see it (and this is only by my experience with this) is that you either,

  • acknowledge it and ignore it, meaning that you know the bug is there but you will ignore it and keep writing; however, it will come back along the way, impeding total free flow of your writing.
  • take a short break, acknowledge it, ponder it, and make peace with it.  I find that just because I may not agree with something in my story, that does not mean that I am selling out my beliefs.  In the case of an internal conflict that one of your characters or scenes brings up, acknowledge it, try to find the link between your conflict and the story, understand it and move on.

The main thing here is that by recognizing that there is an internal conflict you are looking in a mirror, and therefore, are starting to open the flow of your writing once more.  The mere act of looking at that reflection in the mirror is going to help unblock your writing.  At least for me, it works that way.

Hope this tip is of any help.

Weed Out the Dead Stuff – It is all a Death Trap

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“This is a great idea!” – we have thought at one point or another.  It may be a good idea, but good ideas are sometimes, not well received or are ahead of their time.  Pride in what we do is great; however, pride should not block our vision, stalling our future.  Simply put, “try it, give it some time, and if it doesn’t work, weed it out.”  This is something that I’ve learned with time.  The problem is when we are so emotionally and intellectually attached to our work/idea that we forget to evaluate its performance and choose to ignore the fact that it is not yielding the results we expected.  You may spend years pushing a project, to find out that it was time to let it go, years back.  Just because a good idea is not ready for the now, doesn’t mean that it is rendered obsolete or useless.  It may have a good reception in the future.  An idea or project may be ahead of its time, so if you have given a good and honest try to something and it is not working out for you, put it aside, and revisit it in the future, or not.

Weeding out all the dead stuff is a way of opening room for new ideas and opportunities.  It hurts to let go of a project, especially when we spend a lot of time, energy, money, commitment, and emotional interest in it; however, not weeding out the dead stuff might end up crushing your spirit, impeding growth as an artist and as a human being.  This is a death trap for the soul.

For many of us, letting go of a project or putting it aside is synonym of failure.  I disagree; on the contrary, recognizing the need to move and rearrange ideas and projects will lead to success.  Success is defined by how you feel about the results, and not by what society tells you success is – which is usually money or status.  We are so conditioned to “the persevere-never quit mentality” that we fail to recognize when things are not working out.  If you are passionate about something, pursue it, but keep your gardening gloves on, and weed out everything that is not contributing to that dream’s growth; only then, it can flourish.  In the garden of your dreams, time is precious, don’t waste it trying to revive dead roses; instead, plant new ones.  (Could not resist ending this post with that cheesy line).

What to Do When your Mind Won’t Shut Up

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A picture of American firefighters in the 1770s

Image via Wikipedia

I decided to write this post because this is an issue that I deal with sometimes, and it can get in the way of my writing, and whatever project I am working on at the moment.  Sometimes, my mind won’t shut up.  By that I mean that there is a constant overflow of ideas and images, phrases, possible projects, music … and much more that bombards me all at once throughout the day.  When this happens, it is hard to tackle something for long.  It has nothing to do with focus or concentration, I have no problem in that area.  I am blessed in the sense that I can block anything around me and work on something.   Sometimes, too much focus, for example, one day I was working on several freelance articles for a client and while sitting at my desk, I noticed a shadow blocking the window light.  I glanced and I saw a firefighter woman looking at me through the window glass.  Behind her, in my backyard, there were many firefighters, about four of them, running around.  I figured that something was wrong.  I went outside and asked the woman what was going on.  She said if i didn’t smell the smoke.  I said, now I do.  A neighbor decided to burn some brush and someone complained thinking it was a fire, and the firemen followed the smoke to my backyard but it was coming from my back neighbor’s backyard, not mine.  She asked me if I didn’t hear them knocking and I said no.  When I went to the front of my house, there was a fire truck parked on the front and other firemen walking in my front yard.

On another occasion, I had been working on some freelance stuff all day and my husband came home from work, around 5pm.  He came into the room and seemed alarmed.  I asked him what was wrong and he said, don’t you hear all that?  Then he told me to come outside.  I live in a very quiet neighborhood and people are very nice; it is usually very quiet during the day, so my husband was concerned that the street in the back or our home was blocked by police, there were many reporters, news vans, police cars, and even a few helicopters hovering on top of our home.  A neighbor told us that a woman had been murdered in her home, she was actually burned in her bedroom, a very sad incident for this neighborhood.  This commotion had happened since early in the morning and I never even heard a thing.  The street is right behind my house.  These are two examples of how I can get wrapped in what I am doing and not hear anything.

However, I can hear my mind and when it doesn’ t want to shut up, I have a trick that seems to work.  I just empty it.  I know, I probably sound nuts, but it works.  I take a piece of paper and start writing everything that comes to mind, just jotting a few words, not sentences, quite fast, whether an image, a word, and idea for a project, a scene, a title, anything at all gets written, until I stop.  Then I can go back to what I was doing and work happily.  The ideas may serve for something later on, or not.  This trick works for me.  You may want to try it, if you find yourself wrestling with your mind on occasion.

When Misery Loves Company

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Finger pointing

Image via Wikipedia

We have heard this line many times – “Misery loves company.”  It is a very damaging way to live by.  Why?  When we sulk in our misery and surround ourselves with people who feel the same way, we are becoming victims of whatever situation it is that we sulk about and prolong.  Some people may even live a lifetime this way.  They have become victims and most likely, blame another for their misfortune.

I wholehearted believe that I cannot blame anyone for whatever happens in my life, because ultimately, I make the decisions, whether these are decisions that I make or think I have to make, but is not what I would like to do – in any case, I always decide, like it or not; therefore, there is no assigning blame.  When I fully understood this truth, I became free.  I saw that no matter the circumstances, I chose and that meant accepting responsibility for those decisions – positive and negative.

When we say ” it is ______ (fill the blank) fault, we are closing the door to growth.  Only by understanding that you are responsible for every path taken, and letting go of blame, there can be growth.  For some people, this is difficult to accept and they don’t want to be reminded of it.  If you do, they will find something wrong with you to be able to refute this truth, whether it is your lack of experience in certain area or life situation or something else.  For them, this is ground for invalidation of what you have to say.  Many times, that same “lack” is what helps you be neutral and understand many points of view.  Keep playing the same misery song and you will keep dancing the same misery dance.  If you don’t change the tunes, don’t expect your feet to move at a different rhythm.  That is what I say.

The artist/writer is many times, misunderstood and labeled.  Many artists/writers know that there is a price to pay when they chose to welcome creativity and change in their lives, specially when others don’t understand their art or path.  They may be accused of daydreaming, having unrealistic expectations, not working, being too emotional … and many other things, tons of other things.  If you find yourself wanting your dream very much and on the path to make it real, to survive this you must avoid becoming discouraged by what others may or may not think of you and you must work your dream against the odds.  Most important, don’t invite company to celebrate misery, because misery loves company, and growth will stop.

When to Mind your Fabulous Business and Shut Up.

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Duality of Mind

Image via Wikipedia

This morning, as I scanned the FB comments, I stopped at one made by Paolo Coelho – “What other people think of you is none of your business.”  I thought, excellent words of wisdom, but not easy to follow them.  The truth is that doing that is really very difficult because it goes against our human nature.  As a social species, we want to be liked by others,  and we love to be accepted and celebrated by others.  We want to share our wisdom with others, wether blogging, writing a book, talking to family or friends, thru a painting exposition …  We want to achieve but we also want those achievements to be recognized.  We do mind what other people think and say of us, and maybe we give too much importance on what others think of us.  That is why I thought that those words were such an epiphany – “What other people think of you is none of your business.”

If we lived that way we would be so much happier with the world around us and with the world within us.  We would be less critical of others and of ourselves.  We would spend less time worrying and sulking and more time dreaming and doing.  Ever tried to talk to someone who refutes or challenges every word that comes from your mouth – even if you are talking about laundry?  Well, I have, and let me tell you that it is the hardest thing to do, because it is impossible to have a normal conversation with that person.  This is when those words work well and instead of forcing a conversation or defending mine, I choose to mind my fabulous business and shut up, and in the way to happy land, I realize that Paolo Coelho is right – what other people think of me is none of my fabulous business.